Ubale ndi maudindo a nthawi yayitali mu chikondi nthawi zambiri zimasokonezedwa ndi kusakhazikika kwa makhalidwe abwino kwa okwatirana, kuthekera kwawo ndi kusafuna kukana, kunyoza, kunyenga, ndi zina zotero. Pa chifukwa chimenechi, mabanja 42% amatha kusokonezeka. Amayi okwana 31% ndi amuna 23% amathetsa ubale wawo chifukwa cha uchidakwa wawo wachiwiri. Chachitatu, chifukwa chachikulu cha chisudzulo ndicho kusakhulupirika kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi.
Chomwe chiri chochititsa chidwi kwambiri, pali miyezi yina mu chaka ndi ngakhale masiku a sabata pamene ubale wa nthawi yaitali ukuopsezedwa. Nyuzipepala ya Mirror inachititsa maphunziro apadera, ndipo inapeza, nthawi zambiri mabanja amatha mu January. Ndizosadabwitsa - Chaka Chatsopano, moyo watsopano ... Kuphatikiza apo, zimakhala zotheka kupeza chiyanjano, kuika mfundo zonse pamwambapa, ndipo poyamba pazomwezi sizingakhale ndi nthawi yokwanira. Ndiponso 80% mwa mwamuna kapena mkazi amachoka pa banja Loweruka kapena Lamlungu.
Kodi mungatani kuti theka lanu lachiwiri lisaiwale zomwe mukuchita mu chikondi, momwe mungapulumutsire ukwati wanu?
Zikuoneka kuti pali zinthu zambiri zomwe zimalimbikitsa kapena, m'malo mwake, zimathandizira kuthetsa maubwenzi. Ngati mumakhala m'nyumba mwanu, ndipo musabwereke nyumba, ndiye kuti mwayi wothetsera banja wanu umachepetsedwa ndi 45%. Mwana wamba komanso wokhala nawo limodzi asanakwatirane amathandizira kulimbikitsana, ngakhale ambiri amakhulupirira. Nthawi zambiri abambo amatsutsana, koma zimakhala zofunikira kuti awonetsetse chiwerengerocho - kutsutsa 1 - kuyamikila 5, mwinamwake, mudzasudzulana. Amati iwo omwe amayang'ana mbali imodzi, osati motsutsana, amakhala okondwa m'chikondi. Wofufuza Hans-Ver-Ner Birhoff adapeza kuti ngati okwatirana amaganiza mofanana, amakhala ndi makhalidwe omwewo, ndiye kuti banja lawo lidzakhala lamphamvu kwambiri kuposa ena onse. Ndipo nchiyani chomwe chimawapangitsa okwatirana kuiwala zonse zomwe ali nazo ndikupita ku banja lina? Izi zikutanthauza kuti chifukwa chake chingakhale maphunziro osayenera m'banja. David Likken, yemwe ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo, adapeza kuti ana omwe makolo awo atha kusudzulana nthawi zambiri sangathe kukhazikitsa ubale weniweni. Zonse zimakhudza mmene amamvera komanso makhalidwe omwe amalembera kuchokera kwa makolo awo. Mabanja ang'onoang'ono sangathe kusunga chikondi chawo. Ngati ukwati unali usanakwanitse zaka 21, pali kuthekera kwa kusudzulana mwamsanga. Achinyamata ambiri omwe angokwatirana kumene amakhala ndi mwayi wokhala ndi moyo wosangalala, ndipo chaka chilichonse amakhala ndi gawo limodzi - kwa amuna - 2%, kwa amayi - 7% kuti chisudzulo sichidzachitike. Chipembedzo chofala chimabweretsa anthu pamodzi. Ndipo moyo mumzinda, m'malo mosiyana, umapangitsa kuti athetse banja.
Sayansi nthawi zonse ikupita patsogolo. Pulofesa wa Psychology John Gottman ndi pulofesa wa masamu James Murray amakhulupirira kuti pafupifupi 100 peresenti amatha kudziwa ngati mwamuna ndi mkazi wake angakhale m'banja "lalitali ndi losangalala". Iwo adalongosola moyo wa maanja okwana 700, ndipo malinga ndi zomwe adanena, iwo anakhazikitsa kuti n'zotheka kupeza moyo wautali wa mgwirizano wawo mu zomwe zimakangana ndi zokambirana. Anthu okwatirana anapatsidwa nkhani yoti akambirane ndikulimbikitsidwa kuyambitsa mkangano. Ngati onse awiri akakambirana, amamvetsera zokambirana za mnzanuyo nthawi zonse, ngakhale ngati mfundozo zikusiyana, amayesa kusonyeza chikondi ndi chikondi chawo, ndiye kuti ubalewu unayesedwa. Komabe, ngati mkanganowo unasanduka chinenero chochitira nkhanza, ndipo okwatirana akubwereza kubwereza choonadi chawo, osamvana wina ndi mnzake, mwinamwake, kutsogolo kwawo kunali chisudzulo.
Chikondi cha chikondi sichinayambe, aliyense ali nacho chake. Koma, ngati tikufuna kukhala ndi chikhulupiliro cholimba komanso chodalirika - theka la nkhaniyi lapangidwa, ena onse athandizidwa ndi chikondi ndi kuleza mtima.