Chikwati chabanja: chabwino kapena choipa

Muli bwino palimodzi. Koma ndizovuta bwanji mafunso a achibale ndi abwenzi omwe ali ndi chidwi, ndi liti pamene mudzasindikiza. Ndi mtundu wanji wa chinyengo! Ndipo mwinamwake, mu kuya kwa moyo wanu, kodi mumadzimva nokha kuti sakukupatsani mwayi? Zaka makumi angapo zapitazo, mwamuna ndi mkazi akukhala pamodzi popanda kulemba chiyanjano amatchulidwa kuti "cohabitants" ndipo amatsutsidwa mwachinyengo ndi anthu. Pakati pa zaka za m'ma 1900, kumadzulo, kumapeto kwa zaka zana ndi ku Russia, zinthu zinayamba kusintha: anthu adasiya kuyang'anitsitsa sitimayi yolemekezeka kwambiri mu pasipoti ndipo chilakolako cha amuna ndi akazi chokhala pamodzi chinakhala chiyanjano. Panali zifukwa zambiri za kusintha koteroko.

• Kugonana. Anthu sankafunanso kukwatira kuti azigonana mwalamulo.
• Kuthamangitsidwa. Ogonjera olingana nawo anagonjetsa ukwati wa chikhalidwe, akuwudzula chifukwa cha makhalidwe abwino ndi udindo wochititsa manyazi wa mkazi wokakamizidwa kukhala ndi mwamuna wake.
• Zifukwa zachuma. Iwo amachititsa chikoka chawo pa ubale wa anthu kale, iwo ali nawo lero. Anthu samathamangira kulowa m'banja lachidziwitso chifukwa cha matenda a moyo - kusowa nyumba, kupeza ndalama. Chotsatira chake, chiwerengero cha mgwirizanowu chikukula ngati chikhalidwe chosagwirizanitsa cha cohabitation.
  

Lero m'dziko lathu muli mabanja angapo amene amakhala opanda timu mu pasipoti yawo. Koma mpaka pano anthu ambiri, makamaka akazi, amaganizira kuti ukwatiwu ndi wochepa ndipo ndi okonzeka kupirira nawo kokha ngati chinthu chokhalitsa. Tiyeni tione chifukwa chake ena amakonda ukwati, pamene ena sangavomereze.

Ambiri
Anthu amakonda kukwatirana ndi boma, chifukwa:

• Amangofuna kukhala pamodzi ndi kukondana wina ndi mzake, osaganizira za ubale umenewo.
• mukufuna kufotokozera mwachidwi kulengedwa kwa banja: choyamba yesetsani kumakhala limodzi ndi kumvetsetsa ngati ali oyenerana wina ndi mzake, ndipo ngati mutero, ndiye mutha kale ndikusindikiza.
• Kukwatirana kwapachiweniweni sikungokhala ndi zochitika zapakati pa nthawi za kumanga nyumba, okwatirana okha amapanga mgwirizano umene umakhala wabwino kwa iwo.
• mu chikwati cha boma, aliyense wa iwo amadziona yekha kukhala mfulu, osati katundu wa mnzanuyo.
• Khulupirirani kuti pakuwoneka ngati sitampu mu pasipoti, chikondi ndi chiwerewere zimachoka pa chibwenzi.
• amafuna kupewa malamulo, komanso njira zothetsera ukwati.
• amawopa zolakwa pomusankha wokondedwa ndipo sadzaika mtanda pamasewero okondweretsa aumoyo wawo, akusiya okha ufulu.
  

Koma palinso omwe amatsutsa
Anthu ambiri salola mgwirizano uwu, chifukwa:

• pamene ana abadwa, mavuto angayambe: wina ayenera kutenga mwana wake.
• Kugonana kwakukulu koopsa kumakhala kovulaza ndipo mosakayikira kumabweretsa chisokonezo.
• ngati "akuphatikitsana" ndi chiyanjano cha chikhalidwe, ndiye atatsimikizirika kuti ukwatiwo udzagwa, sungathe kupirira kusiyana kwake.
• paukwati wotero pali kumverera kwa chiopsezo cha m'maganizo, kuperewera kwa malo, komanso zovuta za mtundu "ngati sakandipatsa ine kupereka, amatanthauza, ndine wosayenera"
• Kuopa mantha pa maganizo a anthu, tsankho.
• Mchitidwe uwu wa chiyanjano sumalimbikitsa kukula kwa ntchito.
• pa "kusudzulana" iwo adzakhala opanda gawo lovomerezedwa mwalamulo la malo ogwirizana.
• Nthawi zambiri woyambitsa ubale wotere ndi mwamuna, ndipo mkazi amamvetsera mwachidwi ndipo izi zimamuvutitsa kwambiri.
• Akazi ambiri amafuna kuika miyoyo yawo nthawi yosangalatsa kwambiri: galimoto ya ukwati, diresi yoyera ndi chophimba ...
  

Kukwatirana kwaukwati waukwati
Poganizira za "banja lokwatirana", mitundu yambiri yosiyanasiyana ya kugwirizana kwa amuna ndi akazi imakhala pamodzi. Pali chinthu chimodzi chokha chimene chimawagwirizanitsa: kusakhala kovomerezeka kwalamulo.

• Ukwati chifukwa cha chikondi. Pafupifupi mofanana ndi ukwati wa boma: mwamuna ndi mkazi amadzitcha okha mwamuna ndi mkazi ndikukhala mu chikondi ndi mgwirizano, akhoza kukhala ndi ana, koma ubale wa zifukwa zina siukukhazikitsa.
• Tsegulani ukwati. Mmenemo, aliyense wa iwo okwatirana mwiniyo amasungira ndalama zake, ali ndi ufulu woyamba poyera okonda (ngakhale, zosiyana zoterezi zimapezedwanso mu miyambo ya makolo).
• Chiyeso chaukwati. Ichi ndi mawonekedwe a anthu osadziŵa zambiri komanso osapindula, omwe ali osapindula, omwe ali ndi chilakolako chogonana nthawi zonse komanso chikhumbo chokhala ndi moyo wokhala nawo limodzi kuti apangidwe.
• Ukwati wachisawawa. Kumadzulo, izi zimatchedwa "kukhala ndi chibwenzi." Kugonana koteroko sikufuna kuchita chilichonse chapadera, ndi njira yokonzekera kwa kanthawi moyo waumwini - pa nthawi yophunzira, maulendo a bizinesi.
• Ukwati wachuma. Chigamulochi chikugwiritsidwa ntchito ndi anthu omwe kale adatentha pa kugawa kwa katundu nthawi ya chisudzulo ndipo tsopano sakufuna kulemba chiyanjano, poopa "kupeza ndalama."
  

Khalani mogwirizana
Zomwe zimapindulitsa kuti banja likhale lovomerezeka limadalira mtundu wa ubale ulipo pakati pa anthu ndipo chifukwa chake iwo salembetsa mgwirizano wawo. Ngati ali ndi ubale wachikondi ndi wodalirika ndipo adasankha kukhala pabanja limodzi, ndiye bwanji? Banja lotero, okondedwa amadziwa kuti chimwemwe chawo sichidalira pa timatabwa kena. Ndipo ngati mgwirizano ukuimira mayesero a nthawi, mwamsanga kapena mtsogolo (kawirikawiri pa kubadwa kwa mwana) ukwati umalembedwa.

Kupanga ubale kapena ayi ndi bizinesi yanu. Ngati udindo wa mkazi wa boma umakukwanirani ndipo mumakhala wokondwa muukwati, ndiye maganizo a anthu ena omwe amaganiza kuti ndizolakwika kukhala monga chonchi, simuyenera kudandaula.Ngati kusakhala sitampu mu pasipoti yanu kukuvutitsani, ndiye poyamba yesani kumvetsa chifukwa chake. Mukuona kuti simunali mkazi weniweni, koma mnzanu wosokonezeka, mukufuna kukhala ndi mwana, koma mukuwopa kuti izi zidzathetsa chiyanjano chanu ndipo mukhala mayi wosakwatira? Ndiyeno yesetsani kusintha zomwe zikuchitika: kambiranani izi ndi mwamuna wanu, kuyesera kuti mukhale osamala komanso osamukakamiza (kumbukirani: amuna samayesetsa kuti azitha kuthamanga). Ngati mumasamala za mawu a achibale ndi abwenzi, ndiye musinthe maganizo anu: musaganize kuti chilembetsero chaukwati chidzakupatsani mtendere ndi chimwemwe - si choncho ayi.

Funso la amayi: kusinthanitsa zopempha.
Akazi ochepa okha adzabwera ndi lingaliro lopanga munthu. Ndipo iye sangayembekezere kutenga izi mwachizolowezi. Mfundo ya "sitepe yoyamba" ndibwino kuti iwonetsetse. Musanayambe kukhala limodzi (ngakhale m'banja), ndi bwino kuyembekezera kupereka kwa dzanja kuchokera kwa munthuyo. Mwamunayo, mwamuna ayenera kupereka mkazi kuti amukwatire, ndipo iye, atasonyeza nzeru, akhoza kupereka kuti ayese kukhala pamodzi. Ngati munthu akunena kuti sakufuna kukwatira kapena kukwatira, koma angakonzekere kukhala ndi inu kwa kanthawi, taganizirani: mwina ndibwino kukana? Musaganize kuti adzasintha maganizo ake kwa inu.

Funso la ana: chinthu chachikulu ndicho kukonda.
Ena amakhulupirira kuti ukwati wa boma ungakhudze ana. Zoipa zenizeni zokhazokha (zomwe si zachilendo m'mabanja ambiri) zimatha kukhudza ana. Nthawi zina ana samadziwa kuti amayi ndi abambo sajambulapo. Pakati pa mabanja ogwira bwino, kumene ana amamva bwino ndikukhala ndi moyo wabwino wa banja, chiwerengero cha mabanja apachibale.

Nkhani yalamulo: sitidziwa ufulu wathu
Mgwirizano wa mwamuna ndi mkazi umakhala ngati ukwati wokhazikika ngati banja likukhala pamodzi ndikutsogolera banja limodzi kwa mwezi umodzi. Ukwati Wachibadwidwe uli ndi mphamvu yeniyeni yalamulo. Koma kuti atsimikizire kuti malamulowa ndi ovomerezeka, ndikofunikira kuitanitsa umboni wa oyandikana nawo ndi omudziwa: ayenera kutsimikizira kuti banjali liwatsogolera famu yolumikizana. Okwatirana ali ndi ufulu womwewo monga okwatirana amaloledwa: ufulu wa cholowa, kulandila theka la mgwirizano womwe unagulitsidwa, ndi zina zotero.

Kukumba
Kufufuza anthu oposa 4,000, asayansi a Chingerezi asonyeza kuti lingaliro la "chimwemwe" ndi chikwati cha kugonana kwa amuna sizingagwirizane. Malinga ndi maulosi awo, ndi nthawi, banja lachikhalidwe liyenera kutengedwera ndi omwe amatchedwa kuti osakwatira okha - pamene mwamuna, osakwatira, amakhala ndi mkazi mmodzi, kenako ndi wina, wachitatu, ndi zina zotero.

Malingana ndi chiwerengero, amayi 18% a ku Russia amakhulupirira kuti ukwati sungatheke - "zingakhale bwino kukhala pafupi", 27% amadziwa kuti ukwati umamupatsa mkazi chidaliro, ndipo 29% amakhulupirira kuti ukwati ndi wofunika kwambiri kuti pakhale maphunziro onse a ana.

Malingana ndi kuwerengera kotsiriza, pa mabanja okwana 34 miliyoni, 3 miliyoni ali okwatira. Kukhalapo kwa sitampu mu pasipoti kumapangitsa 69% ya akazi kukhala osangalala. Ndipo pakati pa amayi omwe amakhala m'banja lokha, 40% okha amadziona kuti ndi okondwa.