Kotero ngati munthu mwadzidzidzi amasiya kulankhula ndipo iye ndi m'bale wanu, ndiye mwina sangakhale ndi nthawi kapena akufuna kuti akhale yekha. Gwirizanitsani, chifukwa aliyense wa ife ali ndi nthawi m'moyo, pamene simukufuna kuona ngakhale anthu apamtima kwambiri. Choncho, musakhumudwitse mbale wanu ndipo mufulumire kuganiza. Inu mukumudziwa munthu uyu moyo wonse, amatanthawuza, mumamvetsetsanso za umunthu wake komanso chidziwitso chake.
Koma ngati mumapweteka wokondedwa wanu ndipo amasiya kulankhula ndi inu, ndiye kuti mukufunika kupeza njira yopangira. Aliyense amadziwa kuti anthu apafupi kwambiri amachita zovuta kwambiri. Ndicho chifukwa chake cholakwa chirichonse chochokera kwa wachibale chidzakhala chowawa kwambiri ndi chosasangalatsa kusiyana ndi munthu wodziwa bwino. Kumbukirani izi nthawi zonse ndipo musayese kukwiyitsa anthu omwe mumawakonda ndi kuwasamala. Koma, kubwerera ku vuto. Kotero, ngati inu munamukhumudwitsa m'baleyo, njira yabwino kwambiri kuti mupitirirebe ndi kuyankhula. Ngakhale atatenga foni, pitani kwa iye ndikumuuza za chirichonse. Anthu achimuna chifukwa cha ichi ndi banja, kuti amvetsetse ndikukhululukirana. Mchimwene wanu adzapita kuyanjanitso, ngakhale atakwiya ndi inu. Mwachidule, pali anthu omwe amatizindikira monga ife tirili. Izi ndizoyamba, banja. Chinthu chachikulu chimene mnyamatayo anazindikira kuti mumadandaula zomwe zinachitika ndipo mumadandaula ndi kulakwitsa kwanu. Chifukwa chokangana chiyenera kukhala cholemetsa, chifukwa anthu oyandikana samangokangana chabe. Ndicho chifukwa chake pempho la chikhululukiro liyenera kukhala lodzipereka komanso lothandiza kwa mchimwene wanu. Pankhaniyi, adzatha kumvetsa ndikukhululukira mlongo wosauka ndipo ubale wanu udzakhala bwino.
Nanga ndi chiyani chomwe chingachitike ngati mnzanu wapamtima anasiya kuyankhulana? Ndikovuta kwambiri kugwirizanitsa pano kusiyana ndi poyamba. Inde, nthawi zambiri, mabwenzi ali ngati abale kwa ife, koma, komabe, banja limakhumudwitsa kwambiri, komanso limakhululukira mofulumira komanso mosavuta. Anzanu enieni amakangana kawirikawiri, koma chifukwa chabwino. Ndicho chifukwa chake chiyanjano ndi chowawa komanso chokwanira. Ngati mukufuna kugwirizanitsa ndi mnzanu, mupatseni nthawi kuti achoke pa mkangano ndikukhazikika. Ngati mwaleka kulankhula, ndiye chinachake chachikulu chomwe chachitika ndipo mnyamatayu tsopano ali ndi vuto loipa kwa inu. Choncho yesetsani kudzikweza nokha ndikudikirira pang'ono. Koma, mulole mnzanu adziwe kuti mumadzimva kuti ndinu wolakwa ndipo mukufuna kupepesa, ndikudikira nthawi yoyenera. Musalole kuti vutoli lisasinthidwe, ngati lidzakwera kamodzi, ndipo pang'onopang'ono lidzawonjezeredwa. Ndicho chifukwa, ngakhale m'masiku angapo kapena masabata angapo chirichonse chikuwoneka chikuiwalika, yesetsani kulankhula ndi mnzanu. Chinthu chachikulu ndi chakuti kukambirana kukhale kokonzeka, ndipo kusasokonezeka kumalo ena. Anzanu amakangana kawirikawiri, koma amagwirizanitsa ndi vuto lalikulu. Choncho, yesetsani kupeza zotsatira zabwino. Yesetsani kumufotokozera mnzanu chomwe chiri vuto lalikulu ndi malingaliro anu pazothetsera vutoli. Zoonadi, sizikutanthauza kuti mutha kulankhula mwakachetechete. Koma, ngakhale phokoso likubwera, pambuyo pake zonse zitatayidwa kunja, muyenera kusintha zonsezi kukhala njira yabwino. Pankhaniyi, mumalongosola malingaliro onse, mutha kuganizira zenizeni ndikukhazikitsa bwinobwino chilichonse. Anzanu amadziwanso bwino kuti asamvetsetse komanso kuti asakhululukidwe. Nthawi zonse yesetsani kusaiwalila ndikukumbutsani mnzanuyo. Ngati muli olakwa, avomerezeni kuti mulandu ndikupempha chikhululuko. Ngati mkhalidwewo uli wotsutsana - kuthandizana nawo pamodzi ndikuzindikira zolakwa zanu zonse ndi kuyenera kwa mdani wanu. Mtsutso uliwonse ukhoza kutha, ngati uli woyenera kulunjika nawo.
Chabwino, njira yotsiriza ndizochitika pamene wokondedwa sakufuna kulankhula nanu. Apa, mwinamwake, chovuta kwambiri kupita kuchiyanjanitso. Wokondedwa amakhala pafupi kwambiri ndi wokondedwa kwa ife. Ndicho chifukwa chake ngati atasiya kuyankhula, zikhoza kutanthauza zinthu ziwiri zokha: iye anasiya kukonda ndipo mwa njirayi amayesera kuchotsa kapena mwamukhumudwitsa kwambiri moti samangofuna kuti asamamvetsere munthu yemwe anamubweretsa ululu. Poyamba, simungathe kuchita chinachake. Kunyada ndi zopempha sizidzabwereranso chikondi. Mudzangogwa pamaso pa mnyamata, ndipo adzangoleka kukuuzani. Koma ngati zichitika choncho kuti mwakwiyitsa munthu amene amakukondani kumtima wanu, ndiye kuti mwamsanga mutenge njira zomwe zingakuthandizeni kupanga mtendere. Inde, izi si zosavuta kunena. Koma ngati mukudziwa kuti iyeyo waswa nkhuni, ndiye kuti muyenera kuganiza ndikuyang'ana njira yothetsera nkhuni.
Choyamba, muyenera kuyesetsa kukambirana ndikukambirana za mkhalidwewo. Mwinamwake mukhoza kumuthandiza munthuyo nthawi ina kuti mumve chisoni ndi zomwe zinachitika ndipo muchita zonse zomwe zingatheke ndipo simungathe kulepheretsa izi kuti zichitike. Yesetsani kumudziwa bwino lomwe mawu omwe angamuthandize mwamuna wanu chikondi chonse ndi chisoni chanu. Ndikutsimikiza kuti amadziwa bwino kwambiri kuti amvetsetse kuti ndinu woona mtima komanso kuti zimakukhumudwitsani bwanji. Koma, ndithudi, zingakhalenso kuti kuyambira nthawi yoyamba iye sadzakhulupirira ndipo sadzakhululukira. Ndiye muyenera kupitiriza kulimbana, koma musakhale obtrusive. Mukufuna kubwezeretsa malo ake, ndipo musayambe kuti asafune kukuwonani konse. Choncho, mupatseni nthawi yozizira ndikuganiza za mawu anu. Musapemphe nthawi zonse ndikupempha chikhululuko. Mwachidule, nthawi ndi nthawi muzidzikumbutsa nokha, momwe mumakondera komanso momwe mungamvere. Limbikitsani mawu anu ndi zochita ndipo, mwinamwake, mwamsanga kapena mtsogolo, mnyamatayo adzasiya, chifukwa chikondi, komabe, chimapindulitsa zopweteka ndi zopweteka zonse.
Mulimonsemo, ngati munthu mwadzidzidzi anasiya kuyankhulana, ndiye chinachake mu ubale wanu sichoncho, kaya ndi mtundu wanji. Taganizirani izi, yesani zochitika zonse ndi khalidwe la mnyamatayo, ndi zanu. Mwa njira iyi mungathe kumvetsetsa zomwe zimavutazo ndikupanga chisankho chomwe chingakuthandizeni kupeza njira yothetsera vutoli.