Inu munabwera kudzacheza, munabweretsa mwana wamng'ono mphatso. "Ndiyenera kunena chiyani?" - amandikumbutsa momveka bwino amayi anga. "Zikomo," amamuuza mwana wake. Atanena izi "mawu amatsenga", amaoneka kuti akukhazikika ndi mlendoyo. Iye akuwoneka kuti alibe kusowa koyamika tsopano ndi kumwetulira, ndi chimwemwe. Chizoloŵezi chodzichepetsa chakhala cholimba, khutu la mtima lakhala losalala ... Zochita zotero zana kapena chikwi - ndipo kuchokera ku chuma chofunika ichi sichidzakhalapo.
Zimandiwoneka kuti si mwana aliyense amene amatha kukhala wovomerezeka panthawi imodzi, ndikumva kumva kochokera mumtima. Pakuti malamulo a kulemekezedwa amangopangidwa kuti apange munthu, mwachitsanzo, kuthokoza kuyamikira, ngakhale ngati sakuzimva. Poyesa mwambo wamwamuna kapena mwana wamkazi kuti afotokoze m'mawu zomwe iye sali kuzidziwa, tingathe kuzimitsa maganizo athu kwamuyaya ...
Ndidzatenga ufulu wotsutsa choonadi chimodzi chowoneka chosatsutsika: kodi ndi koyenera kuphunzitsa ana moyenera?
Palibe, mwinamwake, sichingatikhumudwitse ife molemekezeka, koma opanda mtima. Tikudziwa bwino: palibe chikhalidwe chokwanira, timafunikira chikhalidwe chamkati.
Koma sikuti aliyense amvetsetsa kuti mitundu iwiri ya chikhalidwe, ngakhale kuti imagwirizanitsa mu mawu amodzi, ndi zosiyana kwambiri ndi chilengedwe. Chikhalidwe cha kunja - chizoloŵezi cha zizoloŵezi, luso la khalidwe; Pa mtima wa chikhalidwe cha mkati ndizo lingaliro lalingaliro, zofanana ndi kukumbukira, chidwi kapena khutu la nyimbo. Icho, kuthekera kwake, kotheka kumatchedwa kumva kumva mtima.
Simusowa kukhala katswiri wodziwa: zizoloŵezi (luso) ndi luso zimabwera kwa anthu m'njira zosiyanasiyana. Unzeru umaphunzitsidwa, luso limakula. Chizoloŵezichi chimagwirizanitsidwa ndi automatism, luso - ndi malingaliro opanga moyo. Chothandizira kupanga mapangidwe kawirikawiri ndi zovulaza pa kukula kwa luso, komanso mosiyana.
Inu munabwera kudzacheza, munabweretsa mwana wamng'ono mphatso. "Ndiyenera kunena chiyani?" - amandikumbutsa momveka bwino amayi anga. "Zikomo," amamuuza mwana wake. Atanena izi "mawu amatsenga", amaoneka kuti akukhazikika ndi mlendoyo. Iye akuwoneka kuti alibe kusowa koyamika tsopano ndi kumwetulira, ndi chimwemwe. Chizoloŵezi chodzichepetsa chakhala cholimba, khutu la mtima lakhala losalala ... Zochita zotero zana kapena chikwi - ndipo kuchokera ku chuma chofunika ichi sichidzakhalapo.
Zimandiwoneka kuti si mwana aliyense amene amatha kukhala wovomerezeka panthawi imodzi, ndikumva kumva kochokera mumtima. Pakuti malamulo a kulemekezedwa amangopangidwa kuti apange munthu, mwachitsanzo, kuthokoza kuyamikira, ngakhale ngati sakuzimva. Poyesa mwana kapena mwana wamkazi kuti amve mawu m'mawu omwe sakukumana nawo, tikhoza kutaya maganizowa kwamuyaya.
Chifukwa chiyani ife timamukakamiza mwanayo kunena "zikomo"? Ndikuganiza, nthawi zambiri kuposa, kuti ndiziwoneka bwino pamaso pa anthu, kusonyeza kuswana kwa mwana wamwamuna kapena wamkazi.
Maphunziro a kulemekezedwa ndi ofanana ndi kulera! Koma ndikutsimikiza: kulera koona kumachitika ngati ndikuyenera kupereka ngakhale dontho la mphamvu ya uzimu. Komabe, mungavomereze: pamene tiphunzitsa mwachifundo, sitimasokoneza miyoyo yathu, koma mitsempha yathu si yofanana konse. Mukhoza kuphunzitsa mwachilungamo popanda kukhala bambo kapena amayi. Ndipo ngakhale - osamukonda mwanayo. Ngati Huck Finn atakhala pang'ono ndi mkazi wamasiye Douglas, ndithudi akanamupatsanso mnyamata wachifundo!
Ngakhale kukhudzidwa - mwachitsanzo, kukhudzidwa kwa wogulitsa kwa wogula - akhoza kuwonjezeka kwambiri ndi kukambirana, kudzudzula komanso makamaka phindu. Kumvetsera kwa mtima sikumakhudza zokhudzana ndi zoterezi. Uwu ndi mphekesera osati pa mawu, koma pa chikhalidwe. Choncho, njira zonse zachizoloŵezi za maphunziro - kuchokera ku kukopa kupita ku chilango - zimakhala zosafunika kuti chitukuko cha luso limeneli chikhale chokwanira, chifukwa chiwerengerochi chimawerengedwa.
Kodi mungatani kuti mukhale ndi chidwi mwa mwana wanu?
Ntchitoyi ndi yophweka kwambiri kusiyana ndi kuzindikira mawu akuti "zikomo" ndi "chonde."
Amayi amadziwa mwana wamwamuna wachinthu chofunikira - "kosatheka." Anakhudza otentha, kulira. Amayi amaphunzitsa kuti: "Mukuona? Zimapweteka! Mvetserani, pamene amayi akunena" simungathe. "Apo ayi zikhoza kupweteka." Ndipo kotero - pa sitepe iliyonse: "Simungathe, kugwa!", "Simungathe kuswa!", "Simungathe, mumatha kuzizira!", "Simungathe, mano amatha!" ...
Koma zoona "sizingathe" sizomwe mukupweteka, koma zikavulaza wina! Ganizirani pa zina, malingaliro a winayo - ichi ndicho choyamba chokhazikitsa chitukuko cha mtima. Banja likuyang'ana TV, mnyamatayo akuyenera kudutsa pa chinsalu - kodi adzatchera? Fulumira? Kotero, ndi mwanayo zonse ziri bwino: amamva kukhalapo kwa anthu ena, amawopa kuti awathandize. Ngati izo zikudutsa mwakachetechete, pang'onopang'ono, ndiye kuti nyumbayo ndi vuto lakupsa ndipo ndi nthawi yosonkhanitsa zokambirana za banja.
Kwa mwanayo waphunzira kumverera wina, ndi kofunika kuti muzindikire izi. Mayi anga anaganiza zobweretsa ntchito mwakhama: "Perekani ... Bweretsani ... Thandizo ..." Akukuphunzitsani kuti muwakonde: "Ndatopa kwambiri ... Mverani amayi anu ... Ndiwonetseni momwe mumakonda amai anu ... Amene mumakonda kwambiri - amayi anga kapena bambo? " Kodi ndi chitsanzo chotani chimene iye amachiwona iye asanakhalepo masiku oyambirira a moyo wake? Pambali pake pali munthu nthawizonse (inde wovomerezeka ndi Amayi!), Amene amadandaula nthawizonse, amatha kutopa, amafunikira kuthandizidwa, sangathe kupita yekha ndi kutenga chikhomo, samaona kuti ndizochititsa manyazi kusamalira zopempha zazing'ono mphindi iliyonse. Kotero, inenso, ndingathe kudandaula, kuwapangitsa kukhala ovuta kwa ena, ndipo ngati kukhumudwitsa, kulira mokweza ululu wanga - mulole mayi amve zowawa!
Ndikuganiza m'banja lomwe mwanayo sangamvetsetse: kudandaula kwa iwo amene amakukonda ndi osayenerera. Osatseketsa anthu mu chirichonse, musawakhumudwitse iwo ndi mavuto anu, chitani zochuluka momwe mungathere nokha! Phunziroli liyenera kuphunzitsidwa ndi ife, akuluakulu. Chabwino, ngati tipempha mwanayo kanthu kalikonse, tisawuze kanthu kena, koma khumi "chonde" kuti awone momwe kulili kovuta kufunsa, kubwezeretsa, koma chifukwa sangakane pempholi. Ngati tilembera mwana, timakhala tikuwongolera khalidwe lake, koma nthawi zina timasokoneza mtima wake-mphekesera.
Wina, kumverera kwa wina! Pakati pa mawu a bambo anga "Ndatopa" ndipo "Amayi atopa" -madzi a m'maphunziro.
Zimakhala zovuta kuti ana athetse chikhalidwe cha munthu wina, kuti ambiri a iwo ayambe kuganiza popanda chifukwa chimene makolo awo samawakonda. Timaphunzira za mazunzo zaka zambiri pambuyo pake ...
Inde, khutu la mtima limayamba kunyenga. Ndipo mwinamwake, ndipo samanyenga, mwinamwake panthawi inayake sitinakonde kwenikweni mwanayo? Tidzakwiya ngati titauzidwa za izi, ndipo amamva.
Ndi kosavuta kuti mwana amvetsetse chikhalidwe cha munthu wina ngati iye mwiniyo amachititsa vutoli. Musamuvutitse wina - ndipo yesetsani kumukondweretsa. Choyamba banja limakhudzidwa ndi ndani ndipo tidzakupatsani chiyani?
Katswiri wina wazimayi anandiuza za ana ake aang'ono awiri:
- Ndikuyesera kuwaphunzitsa kupereka. Adzaphunzira momwe angaphunzire ...
Ndipo ndithudi, mwana wake wamkazi wa zaka zinayi amabwera ndi amayi ake kuti aziyendera yekha ndi mphatso m'manja mwake: amayi anga anakwanitsa kuchita izo kuti zisangalatse mtsikana kupereka, kupereka ndi kusangalala ndi chimwemwe cha wina.
Mwachizoloŵezi chathu, mtima wamunthu umakhudzidwa kwambiri ndi ululu wa wina. Anthu ankakhala mokhumudwa, ndipo m'chinenerocho adakalibe: "kugwirizanitsa," "chisoni," "kugwirizana." Koma palibe "chisangalalo" m'chinenerocho. Kawirikawiri ndimakonda kumva ndikumva: "Ndine wokondwa chifukwa cha inu" m'malo moti: "Ndikukudani."
Phunzitsani mwana wanu kuti asangalale ndi ena, ndipo asangalale mopanda dyera, osagwirizanitsa mwayi wa wina ndi zolephera zawo. Ngati mwanayo akuti pali wophunzira wabwino kwambiri m'kalasi, kuchokera mu mtima tidzakhala okondwa ndi mtsikana wosadziwika ndipo sitidzafulumira kudzudzula: "Mukuona?" Ndi zitsanzo zambiri, muyenera kukhala osamala kwambiri. Pokhala chitsanzo cha anzathu, nthawi zambiri sitinakondweretse chidwi chofuna kutsanzira, koma nsanje.
Ndipo_panda kutsutsidwa, ngati mwanayo sangachedwe kupereka, perekani, ngati sakudziwa momwe angasangalale ndi wina. Chinthu chimodzi chokha chofunika kwa ife: kuti tipatse iwo okha, kuti tisangalale ndi ... kudikirira. Dikirani, dikirani ndi kuyembekezera ndi chikhulupiliro choopsya kuti tsiku lidzabwera pamene mwanayo apereka mphatso yake kwa munthu wina (osati amayi okha!) Osati agogo aamuna okha!). Nthawi zina timamupatsa mwanayo mphamvu. Zakudya zabwino zimapereka tsiku lililonse pa apulo, chifukwa maphunziro ndi bwino kubweretsa thumba la maapulo chaka ndi chaka ...
Maphunziro a khutu la mtima amafuna kuti munthu akhale ndi makhalidwe abwino. Mu chipinda chophikira - ndi mphekesera iti?
Bambo ndi mwana wake woyamba akupita kunyumba, akuchenjeza kuti: "Sitidzaitana - amayi anga akudwala." Titsegula chitseko ndi chinsinsi. "
Chinthu chabwino kwambiri ...
Koma bambo anga analibe nthawi yomaliza momwe mwana wake anagwiritsira ntchito batani. Ndiyeno:
"Ndinauza aliyense?" Tizilombo toyambitsa matenda!
Kumene kunali chisoni chokwanira, pamakhala chisangalalo chosafunika.
Koma kwa mwana wophunzira bwino, chilango sichidabwitsa chodabwitsa m'mawu achikulire, diso lokwezera pang'ono: "Nchiyani cholakwika ndi iwe, wokondedwa wanga?" Ngati makolo afunika kudzudzula, kupereka ndemanga, kutsutsa mwanayo, ndiye kuti kulera kwatenga njira yowopsa. Mwanayo amve ndi kumva kwake kuchokera pansi pamtima chisoni cha akulu. Pamene, komabe, kusokonezeka uku kumabweretsa mawu, kunyoza, ndi kunyoza, kutukwana kwa mtima kumakhala kosafunikira ndipo, motero, kumakhala kosavuta. Ngati lero ndangomudzudzula mwana wanga, mawa ndikuyenera kumudzudzula kwa nthawi yaitali. Ndipo tsiku lirilonse adzandimva ndikuipira. Kenaka, ataphunzira pang'ono - "Kodi simumva, simumva? O, ndikuyankhula ndi ndani? Kodi simukumvetsa Russian?" - Zophunzitsira zazikulu zidzatsatira: zida zowonjezereka, makapu, malamba - ndi zina zotero mpaka chipinda cha ana cha apolisi. Mwanayo, yemwe mtima wake ukumva amanyansidwa, ndi, mwa lingaliro langa, zosatheka kuphunzitsa. Ndikofunika kumangodandaula ndi mphunzitsi amene mwanayo angamupeze.
Ndi piano yokhumudwitsidwa, mungathe kukwapula. Koma palibe chida chimodzi padziko lapansi chomwe chinamveka choyera.
N'zosangalatsa kuona mnyamata yemwe nthawi zonse amamuweruza ndi kumutsutsa abwenzi ake, komanso okalamba. Ngati mwanayo akulankhula zoipa kwa mlendo wathu, timayesetsa kukonza. Koma madzulo aliwonse banja limayang'ana TV, kusamutsira kutengerako, ndikuyamba: wochita masewero ndi woipa, akubwereza, ndipo ambiri - opanda pake. Sukulu ya kutukwana iyi kunyumba usiku ndikumaphunzitsa koopsa. Tisamvetsetse, timalola ana kuti aziweruza ndi kukambirana akuluakulu opanda nzeru komanso opanda chifundo. Kenaka tidzafunsanso kuti: "Musamadzudzule mphunzitsi! Bwanji osayimba, ngati ena onse akuluakulu angakumbidwe? Mwachidziwitso, kutembenuka kwa abambo ndi amayi kudzabwera ngakhale mphunzitsiyo asanafike ..
Simukukonda kusamutsira - kutseka TV pazinthu zonse. Kodi sitimayitanira alendo panyumba pokhapokha kenako amawaphwanya iwo pamapfupa?
Phunzitsani anyamata kuti azikonda anthu - adzaphunzira kudziweruza okha ...
Kumva kwa mtima si khalidwe labwino, koma, tiyeni tibwereze, luso lamaganizo. Izi zikutsatila kuti munthu amene ali ndi mtima womva bwino akhoza kukhala wabwino komanso woipa. Aliyense wa ife adakumana ndi anthu abwino omwe, chifukwa cha zofooka zawo, amabweretsa mavuto aakulu kwa okondedwa awo.
Kumbali ina, kufooka sikuti ndiwemodzi wa mtima wamtima, ndipo mwana wochokera pansi pa mtima si nthawizonse mwana wamalipira. Iye akhoza kukhala wotsogolera: anyamata amamukonda iye, chifukwa iye amangokwiyitsa wopepuka, ndipo ngati iye akuyesera kuseka wina, ndiye zosangalatsa. Iye akhoza kudziiwala yekha, monga ana onse, akhoza kuchita kanthu kakang'ono, komabe iye amakumbukira mwamsanga pamene iye awona kuti wapita kutali ndi kuti chizolowezi chake chavulaza winawake. Amadzipangitsa yekha kuti azidziimba mlandu, ndipo udindo wake ndi udindo wa wopembedzera. Osati chifukwa ali ndi mphamvu kuposa onse, koma chifukwa amamva ululu wa wina ndi wolimba kuposa ena. Palibe munthu amene ali ndi mtima wokonda dziko lapansi, ndipo ngakhale mnyamata yemwe ali ndi khutu lochepetsetsa kumakhala kosavuta kusiya komanso mosavuta, chifukwa chake amapeza kwambiri.
Kupatsa mwanayo chikumbumtima chochokera pansi pa mtima ndicho chabwino chimene makolo angakhoze kuchita kuti asangalale.
Ponena za malamulo a ulemu, pamene munthu akukula, iye, wodzazidwa ndi mtima, amadziyesa yekha - mofulumira komanso mosavuta, kutsata chitsanzo cha akulu.
Kumvetsera mwachidwi ndi kulemekeza ndizo katundu weniweni. Ntchito yokhayo yomvetsetsa anthu ndi yopanda malire. Kuti timvetse anthu omwe timaphunzira moyo wathu wonse.
Koma mpaka pamapeto omaliza, munthu yemwe ali ndi mtima wophunzira, ngakhale atagona, amakhala ndi nkhawa: izo zimaphatikizapo madotolo ndi achibale, amapereka kwa iwo khama.
Chifukwa, mwinamwake, mitima ya anthu imadwala pang'ono ndipo imakhala moyo wautali. Kutenga moyo pamtima, nthawi zonse amadyetsa moyo wake.