Koma nthawi ikudutsa ndipo makhalidwe akusintha, tsopano mkazi ali wodziimira, ali ndi ufulu wofanana ndi ntchito monga amuna, ndipo samakhala chete pamene akuphwanyidwa, komanso amatha kuteteza maganizo ake. Koma komabe, pa msinkhu wa jini, mwamuna nthawi zambiri amadzikuza pa mkazi, zomwe amasonyeza m'machitidwe ake ndi m'mawu ake. Choncho, pali mikangano pamene mikangano imatenga pafupifupi khalidwe lonseli, ndipo pankhondoyi mkazi ayenera kupereka, chifukwa chakuti kutsimikizira kwa mwamuna wake kuti akulakwitsa zikuwoneka kuti sizowona. Zikatero, samangokhalira kulira, kapena kunyoza, kapena zopempha, zothandiza, mulimonsemo zotsatira zake ndi chimodzi - ali zolondola, ndipo mfundoyo ndi yeniyeni.
Chifukwa chiyani?
Inde, patatha masewera oterowo, chinthu choyamba chimene chimabwera kwa mkazi aliyense m'mutu ndi funso losatha "chifukwa chiyani?". Mwa njirayi, kawirikawiri amayesa kupeza yankho, kapena chifukwa chochepa chabe, chifukwa chomwe munthu angadziwire zochita za mwamuna, ndi kutsimikizira kwawo kuti ndi zolondola. Ndipo pamene timayandikira kwambiri, nthawi zambiri timapyola mofanana pamutu, tikamamvetsa bwino kuti tinali olondola, koma panthawi imodzimodziyo ufulu wathu unakanidwa, womwe ndi wosasangalatsa.
Makhalidwe amenewa akhoza kufotokozedwa m'njira zingapo. Choyamba ndi khalidwe. Chirichonse chimene anganene, khalidwe limapangitsa munthu chomwe ali. Ndipo ngati chikhalidwe chaumakani, kufotokoza ubale ndi munthu wotero kumafuna khama. Koma palinso mbali yabwino, chikhalidwecho chikhoza kukonzedwa nthawizonse. Izi zimafuna kuleza mtima, kuyandikira ndi kukhumba kwa mwiniwake wa khalidwe loumala kwambiri. Popanda chikhumbo, n'zosavuta kugwirizanitsa, ndipo zidzasinthira moyo wotero.
Njira yachiwiri ya khalidwe lotereli ingakhale kukopera mndandanda wa moyo wa banja lake. Ngati ali m'nyumba, bamboyo nthawi zonse anali ndi mawu omalizira, ndipo mayiyo anali wochepa kwambiri pa zofuna zake ndipo ankaganiza kuti ndizofunikira - ndiye bwanji mukudabwa. Poyang'ana makolo athu, tikudziwa mosapita m'mbali khalidwe lachikhalidwe, limene m'tsogolomu likuwonekera m'moyo wathu wa banja. Choncho, mutero, muli ndi mwayi wokwaniritsa zolinga zanu poyankhula, kapena kutenga udindo wa amayi ake.
Ndipo chifukwa chachitatu, chimafuna kudziganizira ndi khama pawekha. Pambuyo pake, mwina simunaganizepo, njira yosonyeza kuti mwamuna ndi wolondola, osati chipatso cha malingaliro ake. Pankhaniyi, mmalo mowonetsera kwa mwamuna kuti sali bwino, ndi bwino kumvetsera maganizo ake, kuwonjezera ake, ndi kupeza chiyanjano.
Inu kwa ine, ndi ine kwa inu.
Pakati pa akazi ambiri pali nthano ina yomwe ingathe kufotokozedwa mophiphiritsira monga "iwe kwa ine, ndi ine kwa iwe". Chofunika kwambiri ndi chakuti ngati mkazi atha kukwatira mwamuna wake mwachinthu chinachake, ndiye chifukwa chosadziwika, amakhulupirira kuti nthawi yotsatira adzangomupatsa. Kuchokera kumalo a anthu, mavomerezo oterewa si abwino kwambiri ndipo alibe ngongole iliyonse. Ndipo simukufuna kudzipangira nokha udindo wotsutsa chifuniro chanu. Mlandu wodabwitsa ngati munthu wodzisankhiritsa yekha kapena kuti sakufuna kulowerera mkangano amavomereza ndi mkazi wake. Ndipo chifukwa cha ichi chidzakhala chikhumbo chake chokha, kapena mtundu wina wa zofuna zauzimu, chabwino, muzochitika zowopsa, ulesi, koma osati kuti munadzikaniza nokha kumbali yake.
Adzaphunzira kumva.
Pamene zovuta za wina, sizikhoza kuchititsa kukhulupirika kwa wina, ndi kukhumudwa kuumitsa khosi lomwelo, mulimonsemo munthu wogwidwa, kapena wodalirika, amafunika. Izi zikutanthauza kuti ngati mwamunayo atsimikizika kuti ali wolondola, ndipo sakufuna kumva china chirichonse, mkaziyo ayenera kutembenukira ku nzeru zake zachikazi. Mukhoza kupeza njira kwa munthu aliyense, pamakhala zovuta chabe pamene zikuvuta, koma n'zotheka. Choyamba, phunzirani kumva mwamuna wanu. Ayi, zikuonekeratu kuti ndikumva iwe ukuchita bwino, ndikufotokozera malingaliro ako, mwamuna wako, chabwino, ndithudi samadzunyoza yekha pamphuno. Pano lingaliro lakumvetsera limagwiritsidwa ntchito kwambiri, monga kuthekera kumvetsetsa kwenikweni zomwe zanenedweratu, kumvetsa kumunthu ndi kufufuza mosamala zomwe zamveka. Kawirikawiri, pakuchita, zimayambitsa mavuto ambiri choyambirira, chifukwa pamene mutayamba kufotokoza mndandanda wonse, zimakhala zosawerengeka. Izi zimachitika makamaka ngati munthu sakufotokozera bwino maganizo ake ndipo nthawi zambiri ayenera kuganiza kuti wothandizira. Zotsatira zake, ziganizo zimamangidwa pamaganizo awo, koma "anthu angati, malingaliro ambiri". Kotero zimakhala kuti nedoskazal imodzi, yachiwiri yosamvetsetseka, aliyense ali yekha, ndipo chifukwa chake - chonyansa.
Phunzirani kulankhula.
Chilankhulo chathu chili ndi maonekedwe osiyanasiyana, zomwe zimatilola kufotokoza maganizo athu mosiyana ndikufotokozera zomwezo. Izi zimapangitsa mawu wamba kukhala ouma, kuwonjezera mitundu ya mawu kwa iwo. Koma mu chodabwitsa ichi palinso mbali yolakwika. Mwayi woterewo amalola anthu awiri kukambirana za chinthu chimodzi ndikusazindikira zomwe ziri pangozi. Ngati mwaphunzira kumva mwamuna wanu, ndipo akufuna kukumva - phunzirani kulankhula molondola. Fotokozani maganizo anu molimba mtima, kuti musamvetsetse bwino. Mawu omveka ndi olimbikitsa a katchulidwe amachititsa kuti interlocutor akhale chete ndi kumvetsera. M'kupita kwa nthaŵi, mudzamvetseranso, ndiyeno funso la momwe mungatsimikizire kuti mwamuna wanu ali ndi vuto linalake lapita.
Inde, pali milandu pamene njira zonse sizigwira ntchito ndipo anthu sangakwanitse. Chifukwa cha izi chikhoza kukhala: kudzikonda, kudziletsa, kusafuna kumva china chirichonse, ndi 100% yemweyo kuti ali woyenera. Ngati muli ndi vuto ngati limeneli, ndiye kuti mukudziwa kuti vutoli liri mozama kwambiri, ndipo nthawi zina limafuna ngakhale chithandizo chamaluso. Mukhoza kuyesa mofatsa, kumukakamiza, kuvomereza kulakwitsa kwanu, ndi kuleza mtima. Nthawi zina izi zimapangitsa amayi kuganizira ngati adzatha kukhala ndi moyo umene "I" wawo adzakankhira pambali pa dongosolo lachiwiri kapena nthawi yonse yotsimikizira kwa mwamuna kuti sakuyenera. Chosankha ndicho kwa inu.