Akatswiri a zamaganizo amanena kuti ubwenzi ndi mwamuna ukhoza kukhala ndi mkazi amene amamukhulupirira. Ngati mayiyo ali otsimikiza kuti amuna nthawi zonse amafunafuna chifukwa choyandikira ndi chibwenzi, ndiye kuti, mwadzidzidzi kapena mwachangu, amamukakamiza kuchita zinthu molimba mtima. Izi zikutanthauza kuti tikhoza kukhala mabwenzi ndi mwamuna zimadalira momwe timakhulupirira mu izi ndipo tiri okonzekera.
Komabe, nthawi zina zimachitika kuti ngakhale amayi omwe amakhulupirira kuti pali zibwenzi pakati pa amuna amodzi ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amakumana ndi zochitika zomwe, poyesa chibwenzi, mwamuna amayesera kulowa mu chidaliro ndi kupambana mtima wa mkazi, kumulolera kukonda kapena ngakhale kukwatira. Mu milandu yowopsya, amuna angathe, poyesa kupanga mabwenzi, kubisala chilakolako chawo chogonana ndi mayi wosafikika. Ndipo pokhala atafika pa iye, kwathunthu nkuchoka ku moyo wake.
Ngati mukuzunzidwa ndi vuto, momwe mungadziwire ubwenzi pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi kapena chikondi, choyamba, wina ayenera kumvetsetsa, koma kodi ndiubwenzi? Ubwenzi sichimangokhala ndi chilakolako chokhala limodzi, kumwa khofi kapena kudya masana nthawi yopuma pakati pa ofesi. Mnzanu amakhalabe bwenzi panthawi yovuta. Amathandizira kuthetsa mavuto, ali okonzeka kumvetsera ndikuwombera ndipo nthawi zonse amathandiza ndi malangizo. Ngati mumadziwa bwino ubwenzi wanu, ndipo mutha kuona kuti pakati pa inu ndi mwamuna kapena pakati pa mwamuna wanu ndi amene akukuuzani, ndi nthawi yopitilira ku gawo lotsatila - kufunafuna zizindikiro za chikondi cha munthuyo. Nawa ena mwa iwo.
Kuwonjezeka maganizo
Mwamuna wachikondi, poyamba, amadzipatulira kutali ndi mtima. Ndipo ngakhale kuti amuna ambiri amadziwa momwe angabisire malingaliro awo, mumatha kuona ngati akusangalala kapena akuthawa poyankhula za chibwenzi chake. Nthawi zina anthu amayamba kusonyeza chisamaliro kapena nkhawa, ngati anthu ena amawafunsa za chiyanjano ndi mayi wina. Koma ngati muwona kuti akukwera kwa iye pamapiko ndipo pali mkodzo, ndipo kuchokera kwa iye amabwera mosangalala ndi kukondwera, ndizotheka kuti izi sizingokhala ubwenzi, ndi chikondi.
Chikhumbo chosamalira
Chizindikirochi ndi chovuta kwambiri komanso chosamveka. Chikhumbo chothandizira, chisamalinso chingakhalepo muubwenzi wosavuta, koma ngati icho chiri cholimba kwambiri, ndipo ngati ayamba kuika patsogolo mkazi wina makamaka kuposa ena onse, nkotheka kuti iye ali kale m'chikondi.
Zolinga za kugonana
Mwamuna yemwe si bwenzi chabe, koma amalakalaka zambiri, nthawi zambiri amasonyeza chidwi chake chogonana ndi mkazi uyu. Akhoza "kufufuza" nthaka, kuwuza nthabwala ndi nkhani pa nkhani yovuta, akhoza kuyesa kukambirana mavuto apamtima, koma osati choncho, ndikuyesera kupeza momwe mzimayi amapezera mavuto omwe ali nawo ndi amuna ake, komanso ngati ali ndi mavutowa. Amamuyang'ana m'maso nthawi 90 yomwe akukambirana, ndipo sangayang'ane kutali. Pomaliza, akhoza kusokonezeka pakati pa chiganizo, pokhala atasunthidwa ndi kayendetsedwe ka kayendedwe kawo - ndi momwe amamuthandizira kumbuyo kwake kapena kumagwedeza mwendo wake.
Zikuchitika kuti munthu amasonyeza zolinga za kugonana mwachindunji, koma funso silili momwe angadziwire ngati ubwenzi pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi ndi chikondi. Ndipo ngati mukufuna ndipitirize chibwenzi ichi. Chowonadi ndi chakuti ngakhale pakati pa abwenzi a kugonana kosiyana nthawi ndi nthawi amatha "kudumpha nsomba". Nthawi zina ngakhale zomwe zimatchedwa "ubwenzi wokondana" zimachitika. Komabe, izi sizikutanthauza kuti izi zidzakhala mapeto a chiyanjano. Amzanga omwe ali ndi zaka zambiri amanena kuti nthawi zambiri chifukwa cha ubwenzi wawo umene amakhululukira komanso samadzikonzekeretsa panthawiyi, podziwa kuti nthawi zina "zibwenzi" zotero pakati pa abwenzi zingakhale.
Nthawi zonse amakhala ndi nthawi yake
Amzanga angathe kuthandizana, popanda. Koma mosiyana ndi okondedwa, iwo amadziwa muyeso mu nkhani iyi. Sadzathamangira kukambirana mafunso pakati pa usiku ndi zosiyana-siyana - ngati chinachake chowopsya chachitika. Mwamuna wachikondi ndi wakhungu pankhaniyi. Angathe kuthamangira kuthetsa mafunso osokoneza bodza ndi "abwenzi" ake, ngakhale kuika moyo wake pachiswe, kugona kapena thanzi.
Palinso mbali zina za khalidweli. Ngati simugwira zovutazo, ndiye kuti mwachibadwa mwamuna wachikondi amachita ngati kuti amaiwala nthawi. Amatha kudumpha sitimayi, sakuyang'ana nthawi, amanyalanyaza maitanidwe ndi zikumbutso za achibale ake akamakumana naye.
Iye ndi wokondwa kulongosola izo kwa abwenzi onse
Amuna atsekedwa kwambiri pa nkhani za ubale wawo. Iwo ndi akazi awo ovomerezeka akhoza manyazi kuchita nawo malonda awo mu bizinesi kapena abwenzi ku maphunziro. Ndipo mkazi yekha amene amagwera m'chikondi, nthawi zambiri safuna kusonyeza aliyense kwa nthawi yaitali. Ndipo atangomva kuti ali wolimba komanso wosasunthika, mwamunayo amayamba kuyendetsa galimoto pafupi ndi anzake komanso anzake, kumuuza alongo, abale ndi makolo.
Amayiwala za amayi ena
Ubwenzi pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi nthawi zambiri umayamba ndi kuti akulira wina ndi mzache "mu zovala" chifukwa cha ubale wolephera. Iwo amasangalala kuphunzira maganizo a amuna kapena akazi pa vuto lawo, mverani malangizo abwino komanso oganiza bwino.
Ngati simukufuna mwamunayo kuti mukhale ndi chiyanjano chosiyana, muyenera kumveka phokoso atayamba kukana kukambirana ndi amayi ena onse, kupatula amene ali naye. Izi zikutanthauza kuti kugwera m'chikondi sikumulola kuti akhale ndi ubale weniweni ndi wina aliyense kupatula wokondedwa wake. Panthawiyi, munthu akhoza kuwononga ubale wa nthawi yaitali ndi mkazi wina, ngati alipo.
Mndandanda wa zoyenera kusiyanitsa "ubwenzi weniweni" ndi maubwenzi ena ukhoza kupitilizidwa. Komabe, mapeto omwe tikufuna kuti tipange ndikuti mkazi wokhala ndi chidziwitso chabwino sangaphonye nthawi yomwe ubwenzi ndi mwamuna ukuyamba kuyenda muzinthu zina. Kuti muchite izi, muyenera kukhala omasuka kuwonetsetsa ndikusamalira bwino munthuyo. Ndiye chirichonse chidzakhala chowonekera ndipo chirichonse chidzagwera.