Ndiye, mukuganiza kuti ubwenzi ndi pakati pa mnyamata ndi mtsikana? Palibe amene amakayikira kuti pali kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Tonsefe tiri ndi abwenzi, omwe mungathe kunong'oneza bondo pa khofi lakale pafupi ndi nyumba. Zomwe mungathe kupita kukagula ndikufunsaninso pa nkhani ya maphikidwe omwe adzatipulumutsa ndikuthandizira kuti tipewe mavuto. Tinaonanso ubwenzi wachimuna kangapo. Zonsezi ndizosakayikira kapena zodabwitsa. Koma momwe mungakhalire ndi ubwenzi pakati pa mnyamata ndi mtsikana?
Mwachiwonekere, popanda kuyanjana, ngakhale ubwenzi ndizosatheka. Ndipotu, anthu amadziwana bwino, ndipo maganizo a anthu ndi oti sangathe kulankhulana ndi atsikana osamvera. Koma kumayambiriro kwa chibwenzi, simungathe kuyankhula za anzanu - ndizoyang'ana koyambirira, zokhazokha komanso zowunika, mawu oyambirira omwe angapangitse kuti apemphere. Ichi ndi gawo loyambirira la chiyanjano, chomwe chili ndi njira zitatu: kaya zimakhazikika mu ubale weniweni, kapena muubwenzi, kapena kukhala pa siteji yachidziwitso - ndiye palibe amene akufuna kuti mupitirize kulankhulana mtsogolomu. Mwa ichi palibe chotsutsidwa kapena chachilendo - tonsefe timasankha malo athu okhala anthu omwe ali abwino kwa ife.
Kaŵirikaŵiri zimanenedwa kuti ubwenzi ndi mnyamata sizingatheke, chifukwa anyamata, monga mukudziwa, "amafuna chimodzi chokha." Ngakhale kuti mawu awa ali okwezedwa kwambiri. Ndi zophweka kulankhula za chifundo - ndipo zikhoza kukhala zoona zokhazokha, koma phindu la maonekedwe a chiwerewere - apa mungathe kukangana. Nthawi zina ndi bwino kulankhula ndi munthu kusiyana ndi kukonzekera misonkhano yapamtima. Kumvetsetsa kumeneku kumabwera pa msinkhu wina wamaganizo, ndipo umakula mwamphamvu mu ubongo wathu ndi mawu atsopano omwe amalankhulidwa ndi mnzako wam'tsogolo. Ndiyeno pakubwera kumvetsetsa kwina kuti ndibwino kuti ndiyankhulane ndi munthu uyu moyo wanga wonse, kuposa momwe tidzasinthira maubwenzi athu ku mpumulo ndikugona. Bwanji mukugawana? Ndi zophweka: nthawi zambiri munthu amene anakhala bwenzi lanu ali ndi makhalidwe ambiri abwino, koma panthawi yomweyi, simukudziyerekezera nokha mwa udindo wa mtsikana wake, chifukwa mu dongosolo lino simukugwirizana nazo. Kugonana koteroko kumathera nthawi yochepa. Koma ubwenzi wabwino ukhoza kukula kukhala bwenzi lenileni.
Kotero kunena kuti wina wa abambo osagonana kwenikweni amafuna chinachake osati kungolankhulana, sichimveka. Ndipotu, mwamuna sali wamwamuna - sangathe kugonana ndi mtsikana aliyense, kaya akhale bwenzi lake kapena akhoza kukhala ngati mtsikana. Momwemonso, mkazi: ngati ali wachifundo kwa munthu, ndiye kuti akhoza kukhala ndi abwenzi enieni. Ndipotu ngati akufuna kuti mnyamatayu ndi wamkulu, sangathe kulankhulana momasuka ndi iye, kugawana zinsinsi ndikupempha uphungu. Chidwi cha munthu wina wochokera kwa abwenzi abodza amawerengedwa m'diso, koma mumangoyang'ana maso anu nthawi zambiri.
Anzanu enieni sangachite nsanje wina ndi mnzake, chifukwa nsanje pakati pa abwenzi ndizosatheka. Sitifuna kukhala okhawo omwe ali pamapeto a wina ndi mzake, amakhutitsidwa ndi malo a mzanga wolemekezeka amene sasiya kukhalapo kwa theka lokondedwa. Komanso, mabwenzi akufunitsitsa kupeza mabwenzi ndi osankhidwa awo, kuti asataye mwayi wowona ndi kulankhulana nthawi ndi nthawi.
Ubwenzi woterewu umapangitsa kuti nsanje yanu ikhale yaikulu kwambiri makamaka ngati alibe abwenzi awo, ndipo sakhulupirira kuti alipo. Muyenera kukhala okonzekera izi, chifukwa simungapewe nsanje. Koma abwenzi enieni adzatha kupeza njira yothetsera vutoli, adzayesa kubweretsa abwenzi ndi okondedwa awo ndi kukhazikitsa mabwenzi abwino pakati pawo.
Ubwenzi pakati pa mnyamata ndi mtsikana umachitika, ndipo amakhala ndi nthawi zosangalatsa, zomwe sizingatheke mukakhala pachibwenzi chofanana. Pambuyo pa zonse, dziweruzireni nokha: simudzakangana ndi mnzanu chifukwa cha mnyamata yemwe nthawi zambiri amachitira ndi abwenzi. Iye, mofananamo, sakudziwitsa za chibwenzi chake. Kuphatikiza apo, bwenzi limakupulumutsani nthawi zonse, makamaka ngati mukufuna dzanja la munthu wamphamvu, ndipo sipadzakhala wina aliyense yemwe angathe kuthandizira.
Mzanga wamwamuna angakuthandizeni mukasokonezeka mu chiyanjano ndi mnyamata. Adzangowonongeka ndi mkhalidwe wake ndi mwamuna wake, ndikupatsani malangizo abwino komanso othandiza. Ndife okha, atsikana, timakhulupirira molimba kuti timadziwa maganizo a amuna komanso makamaka nthawi zina zinthu zimakhala zosiyana kwambiri ndi zomwe talingalira. Choncho, muzochitika zoterezi, palibe chinthu china chamtengo wapatali kusiyana ndi amuna oyenerera omwe amawona kuchokera kunja.
Ubwenzi ndi chidziwitso sadziwa malire pa zaka kapena kugonana. Amzanga ali ndi chifukwa chofanana ndi zofuna ndi mtendere wa mumtima, nanga bwanji anthu ena amakana kuti kufanana koteroko kungapezekedwe ndi mnyamata ndi chibwenzi? N'chifukwa chiyani ubwenzi wa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha uli ndi ufulu wokhalapo, ndipo ubwenzi wa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ulibe? Mwina ndi zopusa kukana zomwe zilipo, ngakhale kuti malingaliro onse ali ndi ufulu wokhalapo.
Ndikufuna kukhulupirira kuti aliyense wa ife adzakhala ndi abwenzi enieni m'moyo wathu, ndipo ndizofanana ngakhale atsikana kapena anyamata. Chinthu chachikulu ndikumverera kuthandizidwa ndi anzanu ndikudziwa kuti mukhoza kudalira nthawi zonse.