Choyamba, apongozi ake ndiwonso, kotero, ali ndi ubwino wake, ndipo izi ziyenera kuganiziridwa pakukhazikitsa kukhudzana. Palibe amene ali wangwiro. Kotero nthawizina mumayenera kugonja. Kuonjezerapo, iye ndi mkazi, ndipo izi, mwina, nthawi zina zimathandiza kuti ayang'ane mkhalidwewo. Inde, pali mwayi omwe ali ndi mwayi kwambiri ndi apongozi awo, ali ndi kumvetsetsa kwathunthu, amatsatizana mogwirizana ndi chikhalidwe, khalidwe ndi malingaliro pa moyo. Mayi ake apongozi amakhala bwenzi, amzawo, wachikulire, ndipo nthawi zina amayi achiwiri. Koma tidzapitirira kuchokera kuwona kuti pali mabanja ocheperapo kusiyana ndi avareji, ambiri, omwe apongozi awo ndi apongozi awo ali ndi mapiko awo pamutu pawo. Zikatero, msinkhu wa kumvetsetsa pakati pa achibale omwe angoyamba kubadwa amasiyana kwambiri ndi maubwenzi achikondi ndi olemekezeka ndi omwe amanyansidwa, pamene anthu salekerera mzimu wa wina ndi mzake. Chilichonse chimadalira zochitika ndi anthu omwe adalowa mmenemo, kotero simungapereke malangizo apadera momwe mungachitire ndi momwe mungathetsere vutoli. Koma mukhoza kupereka malingaliro, omwe mungamangirepo, malinga ndi maonekedwe omwe aliyense ali nawo. Choyamba, ziyenera kunenedwa kuti kukhala osiyana komanso kukhala osiyana ndi amayi a mwamuna wake ndizosiyana kwakukulu. Kawirikawiri zimadalira izi, momwe maubwenzi anu apakati ndi apongozi anu adzakhazikitsidwa. N'zoona kuti nthawi zina kupatula kusiyana kapena kukhala kutali kumapangitsa kuti ubale ukhale wofunda, ndipo apongozi awo ndi apongozi awo sangathe kupeza chinenero chimodzi ngakhale pamene akuwonedwa kamodzi pa mwezi. Koma nthawi zambiri kumanga ubale wogwirizana ndi amayi awiriwa ndi kovuta kwambiri pamene amakhala pansi pa denga lomwelo, makamaka ngati denga ili ndi la apongozi ake, monga momwe zimakhalira kawirikawiri. Inde, njira yabwino kwambiri ndikukhala moyo wosiyana ndi makolo. Koma ngakhale panopa palibe chitsimikizo kuti palibe amene angasokoneze moyo wanu, osatchulapo vuto pamene mwana wamkazi alowa m'nyumba yatsopano kumene apongozi ake akhalako kwa zaka zambiri, ali ndi malingaliro ake okhazikika, malamulo ake, ndi moyo wake watha kale. Koma mpongozi wake ndi wamkulu, ali ndi khalidwe lake, ndi malingaliro ake ndi zizolowezi zake. Ndipo iye, nayenso, anadza kudzakhala ndi mwamuna wake ndipo, motero, akufuna kumverera pakhomo, kuti awone kuti ali membala yemweyo wa banja, komanso zonse zomwe amalingaliridwa naye. Apa pangayambe kukangana koyamba. Ndikofunika kumvetsetsa kuti ngakhale kuti iwe ndi amayi ako simunasankhe bwino, muyenera kuyesetsa momwe mungagwirizane, chifukwa mikangano yosagwirizana ndi "apongozi apongozi anu", makamaka pa malo amodzi, amakhala okhoza kuthetsa ngakhale banja lolimba. Yesetsani kudziŵa apongozi anu momwe angathere, khalidwe lake, zizoloŵezi, zofuna, malingaliro a moyo. Kotero zidzakhala zosavuta kuti mumvetsetse, kuti mumvetsetse zofunikira zomwe mukufunikira kukoka kuti mukulumikizana nawo molondola. Mudzamvetsetsa zomwe amakonda, ndipo ndi bwino kupeŵa pochita naye. Tamverani nkhani za mwamuna wake zokhudza banja lake komanso za makolo. Kotero mungathe kuphunzira za miyambo ndi miyambo ya banja, za zikhalidwe zapakhomo, za ubale pakati pa makolo, chifukwa kawirikawiri chitsanzo cha maubwenzi a makolo chimakhudza malingaliro a ana pa ubale wam'tsogolo mtsogolo. Amayi apongozi aliwonse amadziwa kuti mwana wake ndi munthu, choncho si abwino. Ndipo ngakhale akhoza kulemba zofooka zake zonse. Koma chinthu chimodzi pamene iye mwiniyo amvetsetsa izi, ndipo zowonjezereka, pamene iwe uli mu mkwiyo woyamba wayamba kulankhula za zinthu zosasangalatsa za iye. Kapena kudandaula za izo, makamaka kwa akunja. Inu, mwinamwake, kupyolera mu ora ndi ozizira, ndipo mwamunayo mumagwirizanitsa, koma mawu, monga akunena, osati mpheta ... Ndipo apongozi anga awa mawu ovuta onena za mwanayo kukumbukira adzachotsedwa mofulumira kuposa a mwamuna wanu. Mlamu ake ayenera kudziwa kuti mumakonda mwana wake mokhulupirika. Ndipo ngati mumunyoza, adzalitenga ngati wonyozeka. Khalani ndi apongozi anu mosamala komanso osasinthasintha, muzimuchitira ulemu, moona mtima mumusangalatse. Osanyengerera, khalani okoma. Ngati kunyenga kuli kokonzeka pakamwa panu, yesetsani kudzidodometsa nokha. Mlamu wake adzakuvutani kukuvomerezani ngati muli womasuka kwa iye. Khalani naye ndi ulemu ndi chidaliro. Ngati apongozi anu sali okondweretsa kwa inu, yesetsani kupezabe makhalidwe ena oyenera kuti muwalemekeze. Ngati apongozi anu akukupatsani malangizo osayenera, muziwalingalira mwakachetechete komanso mwachikondi, ndikumasuleni mwanjira yanu. Mavuto omwe mungagwirizanenso nawo angakhalepo chifukwa chakuti inu ndi apongozi anu mumagawaniza malo anu, kudziyanjanitsa. Mwachitsanzo, mmodzi wa inu akhoza kukhala ndi moyo umene umatsutsana ndi moyo wa wina. Ngati palibe njira yotsutsira, kapena palibe amene akufuna, ndiye kuti kukhala pamodzi pamodzi ndi kulakwitsa, chifukwa chowonjezera - choipa. Ngati mutangoyamba kumakhala limodzi, muyenera kukambirana za maudindo omwe mukukhala nawo komanso kunyumba, kotero kuti padzakhalanso kusamvana ndi zodandaula. Ponena za kulera ana, awadziwitse kuti mumalemekeza ndi kuyamikira malingaliro ake, koma chisankho chomaliza chidzapangidwa ndi inu, makolo. Maganizo anu pa nkhaniyi angakhale osiyana chifukwa cha kusiyana kwa zaka. Komabe apatseni apongozi anu kutenga nawo gawo, chifukwa ndi agogo ake. Yesetsani kuphunzira kuchokera kwa apongozi anga chinachake chosangalatsa, kuti muphunzire kuchokera ku zomwe zinamuchitikira. Ndipo ndi zabwino kwa inu, ndipo ndi zabwino kwa iye. Kuchokera kumayambiriro, tchulani malo anu enieni, kumene inu ndi mwamuna wanu simudzasokonezeka. Mukukonzekera mu chipinda chanu. Awonetseni bwino ngati simukuzikonda mukalowa m'chipinda popanda kugogoda. Ngati kulankhulana ndi apongozi anu kwapatsidwa zovuta, yesetsani kuchepetsa kulankhulana kwachoncho komwe kudzagwirizana ndi aliyense ndipo sikungayambitse mafunso osafunikira. Zimakhala zovuta pamene apongozi ake amatsutsa mpongozi wawo, amawatsutsa mwamuna wake motsutsana ndi mkazi wake, ndipo nthawi zina ana amatsutsana ndi amayi ake, amalepheretsa moyo wa okwatirana komanso kulera ana, ndipo nthawi zina amaganiza kuti mpongozi wake sali woyenera mwana wake. Koma mpongozi wamkazi, nayenso, si shuga. Ngati mukumva kuti mikangano ndi yosapeŵeka, ndi bwino kutuluka ndi kusunga maubwenzi, komanso mitsempha. Ndipo kuyankhulana kudzakhala kophweka. Ngati simungathe kukonda apongozi anu, musadzizunze nokha, ubale wabwino ndi wolemekezeka, makamaka patali. Tikuyembekeza kuti nkhani yathu "Mmene mungadzitetezere komanso banja lanu kuonongeka ndi apongozi anu" zidzakuthandizani kuti muyanjana ndi amayi anu achiwiri.
Momwe mungadzitetezere nokha ndi banja kuchokera ku zowawa za apongozi anu
Choyamba, apongozi ake ndiwonso, kotero, ali ndi ubwino wake, ndipo izi ziyenera kuganiziridwa pakukhazikitsa kukhudzana. Palibe amene ali wangwiro. Kotero nthawizina mumayenera kugonja. Kuonjezerapo, iye ndi mkazi, ndipo izi, mwina, nthawi zina zimathandiza kuti ayang'ane mkhalidwewo. Inde, pali mwayi omwe ali ndi mwayi kwambiri ndi apongozi awo, ali ndi kumvetsetsa kwathunthu, amatsatizana mogwirizana ndi chikhalidwe, khalidwe ndi malingaliro pa moyo. Mayi ake apongozi amakhala bwenzi, amzawo, wachikulire, ndipo nthawi zina amayi achiwiri. Koma tidzapitirira kuchokera kuwona kuti pali mabanja ocheperapo kusiyana ndi avareji, ambiri, omwe apongozi awo ndi apongozi awo ali ndi mapiko awo pamutu pawo. Zikatero, msinkhu wa kumvetsetsa pakati pa achibale omwe angoyamba kubadwa amasiyana kwambiri ndi maubwenzi achikondi ndi olemekezeka ndi omwe amanyansidwa, pamene anthu salekerera mzimu wa wina ndi mzake. Chilichonse chimadalira zochitika ndi anthu omwe adalowa mmenemo, kotero simungapereke malangizo apadera momwe mungachitire ndi momwe mungathetsere vutoli. Koma mukhoza kupereka malingaliro, omwe mungamangirepo, malinga ndi maonekedwe omwe aliyense ali nawo. Choyamba, ziyenera kunenedwa kuti kukhala osiyana komanso kukhala osiyana ndi amayi a mwamuna wake ndizosiyana kwakukulu. Kawirikawiri zimadalira izi, momwe maubwenzi anu apakati ndi apongozi anu adzakhazikitsidwa. N'zoona kuti nthawi zina kupatula kusiyana kapena kukhala kutali kumapangitsa kuti ubale ukhale wofunda, ndipo apongozi awo ndi apongozi awo sangathe kupeza chinenero chimodzi ngakhale pamene akuwonedwa kamodzi pa mwezi. Koma nthawi zambiri kumanga ubale wogwirizana ndi amayi awiriwa ndi kovuta kwambiri pamene amakhala pansi pa denga lomwelo, makamaka ngati denga ili ndi la apongozi ake, monga momwe zimakhalira kawirikawiri. Inde, njira yabwino kwambiri ndikukhala moyo wosiyana ndi makolo. Koma ngakhale panopa palibe chitsimikizo kuti palibe amene angasokoneze moyo wanu, osatchulapo vuto pamene mwana wamkazi alowa m'nyumba yatsopano kumene apongozi ake akhalako kwa zaka zambiri, ali ndi malingaliro ake okhazikika, malamulo ake, ndi moyo wake watha kale. Koma mpongozi wake ndi wamkulu, ali ndi khalidwe lake, ndi malingaliro ake ndi zizolowezi zake. Ndipo iye, nayenso, anadza kudzakhala ndi mwamuna wake ndipo, motero, akufuna kumverera pakhomo, kuti awone kuti ali membala yemweyo wa banja, komanso zonse zomwe amalingaliridwa naye. Apa pangayambe kukangana koyamba. Ndikofunika kumvetsetsa kuti ngakhale kuti iwe ndi amayi ako simunasankhe bwino, muyenera kuyesetsa momwe mungagwirizane, chifukwa mikangano yosagwirizana ndi "apongozi apongozi anu", makamaka pa malo amodzi, amakhala okhoza kuthetsa ngakhale banja lolimba. Yesetsani kudziŵa apongozi anu momwe angathere, khalidwe lake, zizoloŵezi, zofuna, malingaliro a moyo. Kotero zidzakhala zosavuta kuti mumvetsetse, kuti mumvetsetse zofunikira zomwe mukufunikira kukoka kuti mukulumikizana nawo molondola. Mudzamvetsetsa zomwe amakonda, ndipo ndi bwino kupeŵa pochita naye. Tamverani nkhani za mwamuna wake zokhudza banja lake komanso za makolo. Kotero mungathe kuphunzira za miyambo ndi miyambo ya banja, za zikhalidwe zapakhomo, za ubale pakati pa makolo, chifukwa kawirikawiri chitsanzo cha maubwenzi a makolo chimakhudza malingaliro a ana pa ubale wam'tsogolo mtsogolo. Amayi apongozi aliwonse amadziwa kuti mwana wake ndi munthu, choncho si abwino. Ndipo ngakhale akhoza kulemba zofooka zake zonse. Koma chinthu chimodzi pamene iye mwiniyo amvetsetsa izi, ndipo zowonjezereka, pamene iwe uli mu mkwiyo woyamba wayamba kulankhula za zinthu zosasangalatsa za iye. Kapena kudandaula za izo, makamaka kwa akunja. Inu, mwinamwake, kupyolera mu ora ndi ozizira, ndipo mwamunayo mumagwirizanitsa, koma mawu, monga akunena, osati mpheta ... Ndipo apongozi anga awa mawu ovuta onena za mwanayo kukumbukira adzachotsedwa mofulumira kuposa a mwamuna wanu. Mlamu ake ayenera kudziwa kuti mumakonda mwana wake mokhulupirika. Ndipo ngati mumunyoza, adzalitenga ngati wonyozeka. Khalani ndi apongozi anu mosamala komanso osasinthasintha, muzimuchitira ulemu, moona mtima mumusangalatse. Osanyengerera, khalani okoma. Ngati kunyenga kuli kokonzeka pakamwa panu, yesetsani kudzidodometsa nokha. Mlamu wake adzakuvutani kukuvomerezani ngati muli womasuka kwa iye. Khalani naye ndi ulemu ndi chidaliro. Ngati apongozi anu sali okondweretsa kwa inu, yesetsani kupezabe makhalidwe ena oyenera kuti muwalemekeze. Ngati apongozi anu akukupatsani malangizo osayenera, muziwalingalira mwakachetechete komanso mwachikondi, ndikumasuleni mwanjira yanu. Mavuto omwe mungagwirizanenso nawo angakhalepo chifukwa chakuti inu ndi apongozi anu mumagawaniza malo anu, kudziyanjanitsa. Mwachitsanzo, mmodzi wa inu akhoza kukhala ndi moyo umene umatsutsana ndi moyo wa wina. Ngati palibe njira yotsutsira, kapena palibe amene akufuna, ndiye kuti kukhala pamodzi pamodzi ndi kulakwitsa, chifukwa chowonjezera - choipa. Ngati mutangoyamba kumakhala limodzi, muyenera kukambirana za maudindo omwe mukukhala nawo komanso kunyumba, kotero kuti padzakhalanso kusamvana ndi zodandaula. Ponena za kulera ana, awadziwitse kuti mumalemekeza ndi kuyamikira malingaliro ake, koma chisankho chomaliza chidzapangidwa ndi inu, makolo. Maganizo anu pa nkhaniyi angakhale osiyana chifukwa cha kusiyana kwa zaka. Komabe apatseni apongozi anu kutenga nawo gawo, chifukwa ndi agogo ake. Yesetsani kuphunzira kuchokera kwa apongozi anga chinachake chosangalatsa, kuti muphunzire kuchokera ku zomwe zinamuchitikira. Ndipo ndi zabwino kwa inu, ndipo ndi zabwino kwa iye. Kuchokera kumayambiriro, tchulani malo anu enieni, kumene inu ndi mwamuna wanu simudzasokonezeka. Mukukonzekera mu chipinda chanu. Awonetseni bwino ngati simukuzikonda mukalowa m'chipinda popanda kugogoda. Ngati kulankhulana ndi apongozi anu kwapatsidwa zovuta, yesetsani kuchepetsa kulankhulana kwachoncho komwe kudzagwirizana ndi aliyense ndipo sikungayambitse mafunso osafunikira. Zimakhala zovuta pamene apongozi ake amatsutsa mpongozi wawo, amawatsutsa mwamuna wake motsutsana ndi mkazi wake, ndipo nthawi zina ana amatsutsana ndi amayi ake, amalepheretsa moyo wa okwatirana komanso kulera ana, ndipo nthawi zina amaganiza kuti mpongozi wake sali woyenera mwana wake. Koma mpongozi wamkazi, nayenso, si shuga. Ngati mukumva kuti mikangano ndi yosapeŵeka, ndi bwino kutuluka ndi kusunga maubwenzi, komanso mitsempha. Ndipo kuyankhulana kudzakhala kophweka. Ngati simungathe kukonda apongozi anu, musadzizunze nokha, ubale wabwino ndi wolemekezeka, makamaka patali. Tikuyembekeza kuti nkhani yathu "Mmene mungadzitetezere komanso banja lanu kuonongeka ndi apongozi anu" zidzakuthandizani kuti muyanjana ndi amayi anu achiwiri.