Amayi ambiri amaganizira amuna omwe amatha kukhala osagonana ndi tsiku. Amatsutsa kuti munthu waubwenzi amayamba kugonana, ndipo chikondi chimakhala ndi malingaliro osadziwika, chifukwa malingaliro ake nthawi zonse amakhudza zokhumba zogonana. Koma kwenikweni, sikuti anthu onse amaganiza za kugonana komanso kokha. Zowonjezereka, mwinamwake iwo amaganiza, koma asankhe akazi ndi maubwenzi, osatsogoleredwa ndi chikhumbo, koma ndi kumverera. Inde, palibenso amuna oterewa, koma ali. Ndipo ndizosangalatsa kwambiri kuti amai adziwe, chifukwa chani iwo amakhala chimodzimodzi?
Maphunziro
Amuna ena amayesetsa kupewa kugonana pachiyambi chifukwa cha maphunziro omwe adalandira. Kawirikawiri, anyamatawa amakula mozungulira aliyense, kumene kulibe amuna, ndipo kugonana kwa amayi kuyambira ubwana kumawafotokozera kuti chikondi sichimangokhala pa kugonana. Patapita nthawi, munthuyu amayamba kugwirizana ndi kugonana ngati chinthu chomwe chimagwirizanitsidwa ndi mphamvu, osati njira yopezera zosangalatsa komanso zosangalatsa. Koma ngati mukakumana ndi munthu wotero amene amafunikira chiyanjano chokwanira kusiyana ndi kugonana, konzekerani kuti adzasankha mkazi wamtima kwambiri. Amunawa samakumana ndi cheeky ndi mapeto, chifukwa samangomvetsetsa mmene mungachitire mwanjira imeneyi ndipo simulemekeza anthu omwe muli nawo. Maganizo okhudzana ndi kugonana kwa amuna oterewa ndi chisonyezero cha kulemekeza amayi ndi iwo omwe akuzungulira. Choncho, ngati mukufuna munthu pafupi ndi inu yemwe saona kuti kugonana ndi chinthu chofunika kwambiri komanso chofunika kwambiri m'moyo, konzekerani kuti muyenera kudziyang'anira bwino: osamwa, osasuta ndikuchita mogwirizana ndi malamulo ndi malamulo anthu.
Chipembedzo
Chifukwa china chomwe munthu angachite popanda kugonana kwa nthawi yaitali ndi chipembedzo. Ndipo tsopano siziri za amonke okha. Pali amuna ambiri omwe amakhala moyo wadziko, koma osakwatira chifukwa cha zikhulupiriro zawo zachipembedzo. Mwachitsanzo, pafupifupi chipembedzo chilichonse chimati munthu ayenera kukwatira kapena kukwatiwa, kukhala woyera komanso moyo ndi thupi. Ndi lamulo ili kuti amuna oterewa amatsogoleredwa. Amakhulupirira kuti n'zotheka kuchita zogonana chifukwa cha chikondi chachikulu komanso ndi mkazi mmodzi yemwe adzakhale tsogolo lake tsiku lonse. Kumbali imodzi, khalidwe ili ndi lokongola komanso lachikondi, ndipo, mwachangu, anyamatawa safuna kumva ndi kumvetsa za zinthu monga kugonana kosagwirizana ndi zina zotero. Mwa njira, maganizo oterewa angagwirizane ndi munthu wa chipembedzo chirichonse. Panthawi imodzimodziyo, akhoza kukhala ndi zilakolako zogonana zogonana, zomwe zimangosintha, chifukwa amakhulupirira kuti kugonana musanalowe m'banja sikoyenera. Amuna amenewa ndi amayi odabwitsidwa kwambiri, chifukwa amakhulupirira kuti azimayi amachokera kwa amayi awo kuyambira kale chifukwa cha chilakolako chogonana chogonana. Ndipo amuna okhulupirika amenewa molimba mtima amalengeza kuti munthu wokondedwa ndi wosakwatira angayembekezere, chifukwa ngati kuti abwenzi akufuna kugonana, komabe chofunika kwambiri ndi zakuya ndizogwirizana ndi makhalidwe a anthu, zauzimu ndi zina zotero. Amunawa amatha kukhala osagonana kwa nthawi yaitali, chifukwa amatsimikiza kuti ali olondola, amafuna kuti azikhala osangalala pamtima. Inde, khalidwe lotero limafuna khama kuchokera kwa iwo, koma ali okonzeka kuzigwiritsa ntchito, chifukwa amakhulupirira kuti ali oyenera ndipo sakufuna kusintha chikhulupiliro chawo ndi malamulo a Mulungu wawo. Ndipo chikhulupiriro chiri, monga inu mukudziwa, injini yabwino ndi wolamulira wamphamvu kwambiri mu moyo waumunthu.
Mfundo
Amuna sangathe kutsogoleredwa m'moyo pogonana komanso kuchokera ku mfundo zawo. Ndipotu, sizimayi zokha zomwe zimagwirizana ndi "chikondi". Monga mu nthawi ino sivuta kukhulupirira, koma awa ndi anyamata. Kwa iwo, nawonso, n'kosayenera kuti agone ndi munthu amene sakonda kapena osakhala ndi chifundo chachikulu. Pachifukwa ichi, gawo lalikulu likuwonetsedwa ndi zikhulupiliro zamakhalidwe, zomwe anthu adzipiritsira moyo wawo ndikukhala ngati munthu. Anthu oterewa sali kukamba za kugonjetsa kwawo kugonana, ali olemekezeka kwambiri kwa amayi, samasankha akazi, ngati ali okonzeka kuchita chiwerewere ndi iye kapena ayi. Mwamwayi, amunawa ndi osowa, chifukwa anthu ena ogonana molimba mtima amaona kuti khalidwe lawo ndi losazolowereka. Amalongosola izi motsimikiza kuti mwa amuna, genotype ndizofunika kuti manyowa azimayi ambiri athe. Koma anyamatawa samvetsa kuti anthu ena ogonana angaganize za malingaliro ndi malingaliro ndi kusuntha kugonana kumbuyo. Amuna omwe amatsatira mfundozo amakhala ndi zilakolako zachiwerewere. Mwachidule amalingaliridwa ndi mmene ena amamvera, sangathe kugonana chifukwa cha kugonana, chifukwa izi zimawononga ulemu wa amayi ndi iwo omwe.
Chikondi
Inde, chikondi ndi chilakolako cha kugonana ndizosiyana ndizosiyana. Koma ali ndi chikondi chenicheni, amuna amasiya kugonana chifukwa cha amayi. Kawirikawiri chifukwa cha izi ndi mfundo zina za amayi okongola kapena aang'ono. Ndiyeno anyamata omwe amakonda kwambiri, amavomereza kuyembekezera zofunikira kwambiri. Amuna ambiri amanena kuti n'kosatheka kulipirira ndi kuyamba kumanzere. Koma kwenikweni, ngati munthu amamukonda, ndiye chimwemwe cha magawo ndi mantha a kutayika chifukwa cha chiwembu amakakamizidwa kuti asokoneze chikhumbo chanu chogonana ndikuganiza ndi mtima wanu, osati ndi ziwalo zina za thupi lanu. Kotero, msungwana aliyense yemwe amakayikira kuti munthu angakhale moyo popanda kugonana ndipo ali paubwenzi wapamtima chifukwa cha iye yekha, ayenera kusiya kudzidzinyenga yekha. Munthu wachikondi sadzakakamizidwa kugonana kapena kukangana ndi chikondi. Adzatha kumvetsa chifukwa chake simukufuna kukhala pachibwenzi ndipo mumavomereza kuyembekezera. Koma ngati munthu ayamba kufota, akunena kuti popanda kugonana adzasintha, ndi zina zotero, kotero kuti maganizo ake sali enieni. Mwachiwonekere, amakukondani, koma osati monga munthu ndi moyo wake komanso khalidwe lake, koma ngati chinthu chogonana. Ndipo pakadali pano, ubale woterewu uyenera kutha, chifukwa sichidzatsogolera kanthu koma kupweteka ndi kukhumudwa.
Dziko lamakono lakhala laulere muzowona ndi zosankha. Kugonana kwaleka kukhala chinthu choletsedwa, ndipo anthu anayamba kuchita zinthu mosasamala komanso makhalidwe abwino. Koma m'dziko lino palibenso atsikana okha, komanso anyamata omwe angathe kukakamiza kugonana ndi cholinga chachiwiri chifukwa cha kukhudzidwa mtima ndi kulemekezana.