Kodi mwakumanapo ndi egoists? Zomwe zachitika, amayi oposa 60% amadziŵa bwino anthu oterowo. Komabe, choyamba tiyeni tiwone yemwe ali, kwenikweni, wotere.
Mwa kutanthawuza za amayi, munthu wogonana ndi munthu wogonana ndi mwamuna yemwe panthawi yogonana amachita zofuna zake kuti apeze zokondweretsa zake, osaganizira zomwe akumva. Ndipotu, munthu wotereyo amachita chinthu choyambirira cha nyama chokhutira ndi kuthandizidwa ndi thupi lachikazi.
Chifukwa cha kukhala ndi moyo wabwino komanso kukhala ndi moyo wabwino, moyo wanga wonse unasintha kotero kuti anzanga ndi amzanga nthawi zonse ankasangalala kundiuza mavuto awo okhudza kugonana, ndikuona kuti ndine wodziwa bwino komanso wogwira mtima m'dera lino. Mutu wa chikhulupiliro cha kugonana wagwedezeka mobwerezabwereza tikakambirana za kapu. Tinazindikira kuti pafupifupi amayi onse ochokera kumalo athu adakumana ndi zogonana. Komanso, timapeza kuti amayi ena samangofuna kuti azindikire kuti ali ndi chikondi chifukwa cha chikondi chawo payekha, kapena safuna kuvomereza okha ndi ena kuti wokondedwa wawo ndi wodzikonda pabedi. Pali, ndithudi, gulu lina la atsikana omwe, chifukwa cha kusadziŵa kwawo, sangathe kudziwa kuti egoist wakhala ali pabedi lawo.
Kodi mungadziwe bwanji za kugonana?
Choyamba, munthu wokonda kugonana sangamufunse momwe mumakonda kuchitira, ngakhale malo omwe mumawakonda kapena malo anu osasangalatsa amamukonda. Chachiwiri, adzasamalira zomwe mungamuchitire pabedi (kugonana pamlomo, ngati amakonda, anal). Mwinamwake, ngati mukunena kuti simukukonda chinachake chimene amachifuna pa kama, akhoza kusiya kuyankhulana, kapena adzayesetsabe kukuchititsani.
Kwenikweni, anthu okonda kugonana amakhulupirira kuti akazi amakhala ndi zipsyinjo nthawi zonse panthawi yogonana, koma ambiri a iwo samaganizira za funso lachikazi nthawi zonse, ndiye iwo ali egoists. Ali pa kama, amakhala kawirikawiri amakhala ndi ma egoist: samayang'ana nkhope ya mnzanuyo, chifukwa chakuti sakondwera nawo, samayesetsa kuti asayandikire, amatha kulamula, kuwuza momwe muyenera kugonera kapena kukhala.
Kodi mungapewe bwanji kudzikonda?
Chofunika kwambiri, mwa lingaliro langa - wina ayenera kuphunzira kuti akhale omasuka ndi omveka, kuti aphunzire kuti asamachite manyazi kuuza munthu za zolakalaka zake ndi kuyamba kudzikonda yekha. Kupeza moyo wanga sikumangokhala kochepa ndi amuna, ndinapanga njira yanga yowonetsera kudzikonda pogona. Pamene mgwirizano uli kale pa nthawi yokhudza kugonana komweku, ndikupereka chiphunzitso changa cha ubale wogwirizana. Ndikulankhula za momwe ndimaonera kugonana ngati luso, kuti ndikhoza kubweretsa chisangalalo chosadziwika kwa munthu, koma ngati ndikuwona ndikumverera kuti munthu akuyesera kundikondweretsa. Kawirikawiri zimagwira ntchito mosalakwitsa: munthu wodzithamanga amatha kuthamanga, kuopa kugonana ndi ine, ndi amuna omwe ali ndi zizindikiro zokhudzana ndi kugonana amayesetsa kutsatira chiphunzitso changa. Ngati, nditatha, nditagona ndi munthu wina yemwe sankathawa komanso zomwe ndondomeko yanga yosonyeza, sindinawopseze pochita zomwe sindikufuna, sindiopa ngakhale kusokoneza izi, chifukwa ndikukhulupirira kuti ndibwino kuti musagonepo kusiyana ndi kugonana ndi egoist.
Chodabwitsa kwambiri n'chakuti amayi ambiri ali okonzeka kupirira zofuna zogonana, popanda kuganizira za zotsatira zake. Iwo amasonyeza chiwonetsero, chifukwa amawoneka kuti amawoneka ozizira m'maso mwa wokondedwa wawo. Azimayi amene salandira chisangalalo kuchokera kwa wodzikonda nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi vuto mwa iwo eni, ndipo izi zingachititse kuti zikhale zovuta komanso zolephera kulandira chilakolako chochokera kwa wokondedwa. Mofananamo, physiologically, kugonana popanda chilakolako ndi zoipa.
Msuweni wanga ankachita opaleshoni yaikulu m'mimba mwake, ndipo anayamba kusungunuka. Pamene adatembenukira kwa dokotala ndi funso: chomwe chidachokera, dokotala adanena kuti chifukwa chosakhutitsidwa ndi kugonana. Kukakamiza kugonana kumathera ndi kutaya, kapenagasm, mwinamwake mazira amavutika. Ndipo mlongo wanga anazindikira vuto lake: kwa zaka ziwiri ndi theka anakumana ndi mnyamata ndipo nthawi zonse ankagonana ndi iye, osasangalala. Kunja, mnyamatayu anali wokongola kwambiri, kuposa kumukondweretsa kuti adzigwedezeke m'thupi, koma kugonana naye nthawi zonse kunali kofanana: kuyenda kwake kunali kofulumira komanso kumveka, zowawa zimamenyana naye pambuyo pa miniti ndi theka. Mchemwali wangayu analibe nthawi ndi njira iyi komanso mu nthawi yochepa kuti apeze zovuta. Izi zikutanthauza kuti zaka ziwiri ndi theka zokhutira kugonana zimamupangitsa ku matenda a mazira.
Ndinapempha mobwerezabwereza abwenzi anga funso - nchifukwa ninji amakumana kapena amakhala ndi mwamuna, kuchokera kugonana omwe sapeza chisangalalo chirichonse? Ambiri amangoopa kukhala okha, ena amakhulupirira kuti amakonda mwamuna, mabwenzi angapo amaganiza kuti ali ndi vuto la kusowa kwachisokonezo.
Mmodzi mwa abwenzi anga abwenzi ndi okongola kwambiri, omwe nthawi zonse ankakhala ndi amuna, chaka chatha adandiuza kuti ali ndi zaka makumi atatu mphambu zisanu ndi zitatu mphambu zisanu ndi ziwiri m'moyo wake ndipo ndi asanu ndi limodzi okha omwe adatha kupeza chiwonongeko! Ndinadabwa kwambiri, sindinaganize kuti angakhale ndi vuto la mtundu umenewu, komabe nthawi zonse ankanena kuti ndi mwamuna yemwe sanamufune pabedi, ubwenziwo sungapitirire ndipo ukhoza kuuponyera pambuyo poyamba kugonana. Posachedwapa ndinakumana naye, ndipo tinagwiranso ntchito pa mutu uwu. Iye anandiuza ine kuti, izo zikutulukira, chifukwa chake chinali mwa iye, koma osati mu thupi lake, koma mu psychology. Miyezi itatu yapitayo anakumana ndi munthu yemwe anakhala wokonda kwambiri. Osakondweretsa kunja, anazindikira choonadi kuti akhoza kupambana mkazi, kukhala wokondana naye bwino, kumvetsera zokhumba za mkazi. Anaphunzitsa chibwenzi changa kuti asamachite manyazi ndi bedi, kuti asamachite manyazi kulankhula za zilakolako zake, momwe zingakhalire zosangalatsa komanso ngati zina zowonjezera zili zofunika. Pachifukwa china iwo adaphwanya, koma atatero mtsikanayo adanena kuti akhoza kupeza chiwonongeko ndi munthu wina aliyense, chifukwa adatseguka ndikukhala momasuka pabedi, osakayikira kuti wokondedwayo akuchita chinachake cholakwika.
Chimene bwenzi langa anandiuza chinandichititsa kuganizira zinthu zambiri, ndipo ndinazindikira kuti ndi amayi amene ayenera kukhala mbuye wa zochitika mu ubale wapamtima ndi abambo, chifukwa amuna amatha kupeza zovuta pakati pa makumi asanu ndi atatu, ndi amayi m'mabuku 40 za zana. Izi zikutanthauza kuti kudzigonana kungagonjetsedwe kapena kuchotseratu mwa mnzanu popanda manyazi pokhapokha mutakambirana momveka bwino nkhaniyi.
Kawirikawiri, timayesetsa kuvomereza mnzathu yemwe sitimamuona, koma amutsanzira, motero amamukakamiza kuti adzikonda yekha pabedi, kuti, ayenera kukhala womasuka komanso wotseguka. Pambuyo pa zonse, ngati simukuchita manyazi kugona ndi munthu pabedi, ndiye omasuka kuuza munthu momwe mumakonda kuchita, koma bwanji osati - mopusa. Inde, ndipo mwamunayo nthawi zambiri sangathe kulingalira za zilakolako zathu ndikukhala ngati wotsutsa. Kulankhulana ndi chinsinsi chogonana bwino kuti mupewe kudzikonda. Ndipo muyeneranso kuphunzira momwe mungadzikondere nokha, osati kuopa zilakolako zanu, kuti musamachite manyazi nokha pabedi ndi mwamuna, ndiyeno mutsimikiziridwa kuti mumakonda kwambiri kugonana. Ndipo palibe kudzikonda!