Anyamata ali amphamvu kwambiri kuposa atsikana, okhudzidwa ndi luso lawo la kugonana. Chibadwa cha mpikisano mu njira iyi chikuwonetseredwa ngati palibe ponseponse. Mwachidziwitso, pafupifupi munthu aliyense amafuna kupambana mpikisano wake pazochita zogonana, pambali iyi msungwanayo amakopeka kwambiri ndi iye kusiyana ndi onse omwe anali nawo kale, kuti amuthandize bwino kuposa wina aliyense. Maofesi a amuna amapindula kwambiri, mofanana ndi mafomu a mafuta, makampani ena, omwe amatsimikiziranso kufunikira kwa nkhaniyi kwa amuna. Ndipo izi sizosadabwitsa, chifukwa mwachikhalidwe iwo amaonedwa kuti ndi othandizana omwe amatsogolere ndondomekoyo ndipo motero amakhala ndi udindo waukulu kuposa iwo osayang'ana. Nthawi yoyamba kwa iwo ndiyeso ya chikhalidwe chawo ndipo ndi ofanana ndi kuunika koyamba ndi kofunika, komwe pafupifupi chidzalo chonse chimadalira. Msungwana aliyense ayenera kumvetsetsa izi, mwinamwake mwangozi zingakhale zolakwika za kulephera kwa "kafukufuku". Kupambana koyambirira koyamba, monga lamulo, kumalimbikitsa kupambana ndi atsikana ena onse, omwe ndi ofunika kwambiri kwa mnyamata.
Mwachitsanzo, amuna ena omwe angathe kukhala nawo, akudandaula kwambiri ngati angakwanitse kuchita choyamba kapena ayi, amakhala ndi chisangalalo komanso osatsimikizika kuti adzakwanitsa kukwaniritsa cholinga chawo. Kuyandikira kwachitidwechi, kulimbikitsana kwambiri. Pambuyo pake, izi zimakhudzidwa ndi chinthu chosavuta kwambiri, nthawi zonse chimachitika molakwika, pa nthawi yovuta kwambiri, yomwe ndi yovuta kwambiri kulimbana - matenda a chilakolako chodetsa nkhaŵa cha kugonana (posachedwa STOSN). Amanena kuti pa nthawi yofunika kwambiri, ikafika nthawi yoti ayambe kugwirana ntchito, kumangika kumatuluka, komwe kungasungidwe nthawi yoyamba kapena kubwezeretsedwanso pambuyo polephera kugonana. Pakulephera kulikonse, kuphwanya kudzakulirakulira ndikufika pamtundu wakuti kuvutika kwa munthu uyu kumayambanso kupewa ocheza nawo aliwonse ndi atsikana, kulumikizana ndi makompyuta, mavuto omwe amachititsa, kukhala ndi vuto la maganizo. Kuopsa kwa vutoli kumakhala koopsa kwambiri, chifukwa pakadali pano zingakhale zovuta kwambiri kapena zosatheka kuchiritsa popanda kuthandizira anthu ogonana kapena opatsirana pogonana.
Sikuti atsikana onse amamvetsa kuti mnyamata amatanthauza kugonana koyambirira, momwe zimawonekera pazochitika zonse zokhudzana ndi kugonana. Choncho, mwanzeru msungwana mtsikana angayambitse STOS, ngakhale osati mnyamata wokondwa kwambiri, ndipo chifukwa cha izi pangakhale mawu amodzi okha okhudza ulemu wake wamwamuna kapena kuthekera kumusangalatsa. Ngati anyoza chitonzo chimene mnyamatayo sakhala nacho chabwino, ndiye kuti chikhoza kuchepetsa vutoli, pambuyo pake katswiri wodziwa bwino yekha adzatha kumupulumutsa ku kuphwanya.
M'malo mwake, msungwanayo ayenera kuthandizira khalidwe labwino, chizindikiro chilichonse, ngakhale kupambana kopanda phindu (chitsanzo: "Muli bwino, pitirirani!"), Ndipo ngati muli ndi chidziwitso chogonana - kusonyeza ntchito, ndiye kuti sangapeze chidaliro, koma zidzasintha kwambiri, chifukwa kuchokera momwe kugonana koyamba kudzadutsa, osati kokha gawo la moyo wa mnyamata limadalira, komanso kuyesedwa kwa luso lake muzinthu zina zonse za moyo. Izi zimachitika kuti anyamata odzichepetsa, omwe sakhala ndi moyo wokhudzana ndi kugonana, amapeza chidaliro, mphamvu ya uzimu, kumasuka kulankhulana, kukhala amalonda ogwira bwino, atsogoleli amphamvu komanso, okonda okonda. Zotsatira zake zimakhala nthawi zambiri, ndithudi, osati zofunikira kwambiri, koma osati zochepa. Aliyense amadziwa kuti atsikana atasintha maganizo awo amasintha khalidwe lawo; izi ndizonso za anyamata.
Kuchokera pa zonsezi, mutha kumvetsetsa kuti kuli kofunikira kuti atsikana amvetse zomwe mwamuna kapena mkazi amagonana kwa mnyamata, chifukwa zimadalira kwambiri. Tonsefe tachitapo kanthu koyamba, choncho, atsikana odziwa bwino ayenera kumvetsa chisoni anyamata osadziŵa zambiri, mwa njira iliyonse yomwe angathandizire ndi kugonana koyamba.