Kodi mungadziwe bwanji ngati banja lanu liri losatha?

Pambuyo pake funso ili kwenikweni limachokera kwa mmodzi mwa okwatirana. Ndipo poyesa kupeza yankho, timayamba mwakhama kufufuza mikangano yaing'ono, zopweteketsa zamakono za masabata apitayi, kumbukirani kuti ndi nthawi zingati zomwe takhala tikuchita nthawi yogonana ... Koma m'mabanja ambiri achimwemwe ndi amphamvu pali mikangano. Kumeneko, ndipo kugonana kungakhale kofanana nthawi zonse monga momwe maanja omwe sali amphamvu. Ndi zizindikiro ziti zomwe mungapeze kuti ukwati uli pafupi kutha? Nkhanza - osati chizindikiro cha kusudzulana koyambirira
Mphamvu ya maubwenzi apabanja sichidalira ngati mikangano imabuka m'banja lino. Ngakhale m'magulu awiri otetezeka komanso amphamvu, abwenzi nthawi ndi nthawi amatha kutsutsana ndikudziwana mwamphamvu. Nchifukwa chiyani mabanja otere amakhala moyo wautali ndikusangalala, pamene ena amatha kupatukana? Zingakhale zolakwika kuganiza kuti ngati okwatirana ali kusagwirizana, ndiye kuti izi sizinakondweretse banja. Ndipotu ena amakhala ngati otentha, ndipo mabanja oterewa akhoza kukhala pamodzi ndi moyo wautali komanso wamkuntho. Ndikofunika kuti mikanganoyo isakhale yowonjezereka komanso yowopsya, kuti abwenzi awo apeze njira zabwino zopezera mikangano, akhoza kuvomereza njira yowonjezereka, yomwe imaganizira zofuna za mbali ziwirizo. Ndipotu, mkangano ndi njira yopulumukira, mphamvu. Ndipo pamene mphamvu iyi ikutsanuliridwa, okwatirana adayankhula ndikubwera ku chinachake - ndi zabwino. Koma pamene mkangano uli chabe mphamvu, imangowonjezera mavuto, koma palibe chimene chimathetsedwa, sikumabweretsa mavuto, ndikumenyana. Ndi chiyambi ndipo banja lirilonse liri ndi masomphenya awo a moyo wa banja wokondwa ndi zoyembekeza zomwe sizingakhale zachilungamo. Imodzi mwa maphikidwe a banja lolimba ndi lopambana ndilo kuti wina samakakamiza winayo kuti amwe. Nkhani zonse zokhudzana ndi momwe wokondedwa wina anakhalira yekha, ndipo zina zogwirizana, nthawi zambiri zimathera pakuphulika komanso kusokonezeka kwa maubwenzi.

Timathera nthawi yochepa
Mutazindikira kuti mudatuluka wina ndi mzake, munasiya kukhutitsidwa ndi moyo wanu pamodzi ndipo mumakhala nthawi yocheperapo palimodzi ... Pamene chibwenzicho chimaleka chilakolako, ndipo izi zimachitika mofulumira, izi sizisonyezero za kusudzulana kochepa. Koma ngati mulibe chiyanjano cha uzimu pakati panu, simumverera kuti mumamva bwino, mumakhulupirira, mumalemekeza mnzanu - ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zomwe banja lanu liri pachiopsezo ndipo muyenera kutengapo kanthu mwamsanga kuti muteteze ukwati wanu.

Ife tiri bwino palimodzi, ndipo patali
Kodi mumadziwa bwanji kusunga malire a mnzanu, ndipo iye - anu? Kodi mungateteze malo anu pa mkangano ndi mnzanuyo? Mphamvu ya ubale wathu imadalira mphamvu imeneyi. Tikakwatirana, sitileka kukhala munthu amene ali ndi zofuna zake zokha. Choncho, ndikofunika kwambiri kukhala wokwatirana, kukhalabe mnzanu mu mgwirizano. Zotsatira za maukwati awo omwe mmodzi wa abwenzi amadzipereka enieni, tsoka, amadziwika bwino. Muzochitika izi, tifunika kusamvana pakati pa zofuna zathu komanso kufunika kokonza chiyanjano ndi mwamuna yemwe amatchedwa "ife."

Ndizo momwe abwenzi amadziwira momwe akumvera malire a wina. Malingana ndi momwe timamvetsela, tingayandikire pafupi bwanji, tiyang'ane malire ofanana ndi osiyana.

Izi zikutanthauza kuti aliyense wa ife amafunikira nthawi yake, pamene mungathe kuchita chinthu chomwe mumakonda chosiyana ndi mnzanuyo. Ngati izo sizikutero, ndiye posachedwa kapena kuwonongeka koyandikira kudzachitika.

Nthawi zambiri kugonana
Moyo wanu wapamtima watha kukhala wolimba komanso wolimba, monga kale. Kodi izi zikutanthauza kuti banja lanu liri pangozi? Izi ndi zoona zoona. Ndipotu, kusuntha wina ndi mzake popanda kukondana kwambiri, simungayambe kugonana ndi wina ndi mnzake. Koma kunena mosapita m'mbali kuti nthawi zochepa za chibwenzi ndizoopsa, ndizosatheka. Mwachitsanzo, m'mizinda ikuluikulu, monga Moscow, okwatirana omwe akhala akukwatirana kwa nthawi yaitali, osati moyo wapamtima kwambiri. Kawirikawiri, maanja oterowa amabwera kwa wotsogolera ndi kukamba za kusagonana kapena kuchita kawirikawiri. Koma pokambirana ndi iwo zimakhala zomveka kuti abwenzi alibe nthawi kapena mphamvu pa izi, chifukwa chiyero cha moyo mumzindawu chimatifooketsa ife tonse. Kugonana muukwati wotere kumayambiranso pa tchuthi. Chofunika ndi chakuti ngati onse awiri alibe chilakolako, palibe chodandaula. Koma ngati wina ali ndi wina ndipo wina alibe, ndiye kuti kale ndi chizindikiro kuti ukwati wanu uli pangozi.

Zizindikiro ndi zizindikiro za kusudzulana koyambirira
Leo Tolstoy anali ndi vuto loti alembe: "Mabanja onse osangalala ali ofanana, banja lililonse losasangalala silinasangalale mwa njira yake." Akatswiri a zachipatala amakhulupirira kuti wolemba mu gawo lachiwiri la mawu otchuka ... anali kulakwitsa. Njira yomweyo imatsogolera ku kugwa kwa moyo wa banja. Cholinga chomwecho chinafikiridwa ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo a ku America, pulofesa wa maganizo a John Gottman. Kwa zaka 16 mu laboratori yake adayankhula ndi maanja, adalemba zokambirana zawo. Pogwiritsa ntchito zinthu zomwe anasonkhanitsa, adapanga zizindikiro, zomwe zimatheka kuti molondola - mpaka 91% silingodziwe ngati awiriwa adzathetsa banja, koma ngakhale zitatha.

CRITICISM
Ngati mkangano wanu umayamba ndi kutsutsidwa mwankhanza ndipo ziribe kanthu, mnzanuyo amakutsutsani kapena mumamenyana naye. Zikakhala kuti mkangano uli wolamulidwa ndi chiyambi chovuta, mosakayikira umathera molakwika. Ngati mkangano ukasankha pakati pa kutsutsa ndi kudandaula, kenaka ntchito yachiwiri. Makhalidwe amenewa ndi abwino.

SABWINO
Pakutha mkangano, maphwando amagwiritsa ntchito mawu achipongwe komanso achinyengo, omwe amasonyeza kulemekeza wina ndi mnzake. Izi zimakwiyitsa wokambirana ndipo zimayambitsa chiyanjano, chifukwa amodzi amzake amamvetsa kuti wina amanyansidwa naye. Sikuti ndi mawu okha, koma maonekedwe a nkhope. Ngakhalenso kujambulidwa kwa maso kungayambitse kuwonjezereka kwa mkangano.

TIZIKHULUPIRIRA
Chodziwikiratu kwambiri pa izi ndikutenga malo otetezeka. Koma machenjerero oterowo sawakwaniritsa kawirikawiri. Mkazi yemwe akuukirayo sagonjera ndipo sapepesa. Chodabwitsa n'zakuti, chitetezo, ndithudi, ndi njira yodzudzula mnzanuyo.

WALL
Pamene chiwerengero cha mkanganochi chinakwera pachimake, ndiye kuti panthawi inayake m'modzi mwa maphwando sakuphatikizidwanso, akukhala pansi, akuyang'ana pansi ndi kunena kanthu. Munthu amene ali m'dzikomo amadzimvera ngati kuti zomwe wamufunsayo samamukonda. Anabwerera, anamanga khoma lamaganizo, adadzitsekera yekha. Iye sakufunanso kulankhula ndi kukambirana.

MODZI WA BODY
Thupi lathu limayankha pa mkangano. Chimodzi mwa zochitika zomveka bwino zomwe zimagwira ntchito ndi kupweteka kwa mtima, kupweteka kwoposa 100 pamphindi. Kuyerekezera, mlingo wa mtima wa mwamuna wazaka 30 ndi 76, ndipo mkazi wa msinkhu wake ndi 82. Kuwonjezera apo, kusintha kwa mahomoni kumatchulidwa, kumasulidwa kwa adrenaline m'magazi kumayambitsa kuchuluka kwa mkangano ... Koma ngakhale pamene zikuwoneka kuti zonse zatha, ukwati ukhoza kupulumutsidwa. Chinsinsi cha kubwezeretsa maubwenzi si momwe mumathetsera kusiyana, koma momwe mumayanjanirana ndi moyo wanu wa tsiku ndi tsiku.