Pali akatswiri mu kugonjetsa ndi matenda omwe amadziwa kupanga munthu kukhala ndi chikondi ndi iwe. Mkhalidwe wa chikhalidwe, iwo amabwezeretsa chikhalidwe cha chikondi ndiyeno amasintha malingaliro awa kukhala enieni. Koma ndife anthu wamba. Kodi tingaphunzire kukondana tokha anyamata? Pambuyo pake, muyenera kuti munakumanapo ndi anthu oterewa, omwe nthawi zina osadziwa, amachititsa kuti azikonda ena.
Ngati mumatsatira njira zathu, mukhoza kuyambitsa chikondi mwa munthu pamene mukukumana nanu osati mwachibadwa kuti mnyamatayo sakudziwa komanso sadzazindikira mmene zidzakhalire mu mautumiki anu.
Mmene mungapangire mnyamata kugwirizana ndi inu?
Choyamba, muyenera kudzidziwa bwino ndi mfundo zachikondi ndi chikondi, chifukwa zimatsatira malamulo ena onse.Mfundo yoyamba: Munthu sagwirizana ndi munthu wina, koma ndi chithunzi chomwe amachidziwitsa.
Kuti muchite izi, muyenera kungooneka ngati angwiro, osati kwenikweni kukhala angwiro. Ndipo fano ili limapangidwa ndi khalidwe lathu.
Mfundo yachiwiri: Mwamuna amayamba kukonda chinsinsi, mwa yemwe ali ndi chinsinsi.
Ngati mukufuna kupeza bwino kuti anyamata ayambe kukukondani, nthawi zonse muyenera kukhala chinsinsi mwa inu, chinsinsi, chinachake chosasinthika. Zinsinsi zobisika, ndi zabwino. Pambuyo pake, msungwana wodabwitsa ndi wokongola kwambiri kuposa munthu yemwe ali wophweka kwambiri komanso amene angathe kuwoneratu nthawi zonse.
3-rd mfundo: Anyamata amakonda kukwanitsa. Yokwanira kwa aliyense, palibe yemwe ali ndi chidwi ndipo alibe phindu lililonse.
Mfundo yachinayi: Pamene munthu agwera m'chikondi, amafuna kuchita zabwino kwa wokondedwa wake, mosadzikonda komanso popanda kufunsa chilichonse.
Mfundo yachisanu: Kuti munthu agwirizane nanu, muyenera kutsimikiza kuti mumamuuza pang'ono kuposa momwe amakukonderani. Ndiye adzakuchitirani zambiri.
Pali zifukwa zingapo zomwe mwamuna amachitira chikondi. Chofala kwambiri ndizifukwa zotsatirazi:
- Ndi nthawi yokondana. Anthu ena amangofuna kukondana, amafuna kukhala ndi chikondi, chifukwa ndi nthawi.
- Kufunikira kumvetsetsa. Munthu aliyense ali ndi chofunikira kuti amvetsetse. Ichi, nachonso, chifukwa chake munthu akuyang'ana munthu.
- Kufunika kwa kumverera. Anthu ambiri amafunikira chimwemwe kapena kuvutika. Inde, inde, akuvutika. Ndicho chifukwa chake anyamata abwino amadzipangira okha asungwana ndi amodzi, ife, atsikana, timasankha tokha "oipa". Potero, kusiyana kumakhudza maganizo ndi zowawa zomwe timakumana nazo.
- Kufunika kuteteza munthu (kwa amuna) kapena kufunika kotetezedwa (kwa akazi). Chosowachi ndi chikhalidwe chokha mwa munthu aliyense. Mwamuna akufuna kuteteza mkazi, mkaziyo akufuna kupeza mwamuna wamphamvu, kuti amuteteze.
- Zimakhalanso kuti msungwana kapena mnyamata akuwona kuti chidwi chake chimafuna kuyankhulana ndi mtsikana wina / mnyamata wina, ndiye kuti akumva mpikisano, amayamba kukondana chifukwa chosatheka. Nsanje nthawi zambiri imakhala ngati chifukwa chogwirana chikondi.
Kotero, ngati mukufuna kukondana ndi mnyamata, muyenera kumvetsetsa phindu lake, wokondedwa wanu, komanso kumuopseza kuti akutaya inu.
Kwa ichi pali njira yomwe ife taitcha "Makhalidwe a mphotho."
Ndikofunika kuti mnyamatayo akhale ndi malingaliro akuti msungwanayo ali ndi anthu okwanira omwe angakhale nawo komanso kuti ali ndi chisankho. Msungwana ayenera kumulola kuti amudziwe kuti ali ndi chochita komanso kuti ali wokongola kwa anthu ena, kuti anthu ambiri amafuna kulankhula naye.
Mwachitsanzo, munganene kuti: "Bwenzi langa anandithamangitsa kumsonkhano, ndipo tinangofika pangozi. Akuyendetsa bwino kwambiri. Nthawi yotsatira sindidzapita naye, ndikupempha wina. "
Mmawu awa mtsikana amauza mnyamata kuti ali ndi abwenzi awiri osakwatirana, ndi zina zambiri, okonzeka kumubweretsa.
Kapena m'pofunika kunena kuti: "Mzanga anali ndi vuto. Chifukwa cha iye, anyamata awiri amakangana ndi kumenyana, ndipo amachitira nawo onse awiri - ngati mabwenzi abwino. Ndinafika poonongeka chifukwa cha izi. Chifukwa chiyani inu amuna ngati choncho? ... "
Ngakhale ndi maso mwakuya mungathe kuona kuti ichi ndi chithunzi. Iye akunenanso kuti mukusowa anthu awiri. Chifukwa chake, muli ndi mtengo wapatali kwa anthu osagonana.
Komanso, ngati mnyamata wachita chinachake chosafunika, munganene kuti: "Mukamachita izi, mumachepetsa pang'ono mumtima mwanga."
Ndi mawu awa, mumasonyeza mnyamata kuti akhoza kukutaya chifukwa cha khalidwe lake losafuna. Chotsatira chake, iye adzachita mantha kukutaya iwe, ndipo adzayesera kusintha.