Cholinga chachikulu cha kulankhulana pakati pa anthu osiyanasiyana ndi kukwaniritsa kumvetsetsa. Komabe, kukwaniritsa izi si kophweka. Munthu aliyense ali ndi wina woti azilankhulana mosavuta, koma ndi wina wovuta kwambiri. Ndi munthu wina ndikosavuta kukhazikitsa kumvetsetsa, komanso ndi munthu yemwe timalumbira nthawi zonse. Inde, zimakhala zosavuta kukhazikitsa maubwenzi abwino ndi munthu amene ali ndi "mfundo zothandizira".
Lamulo lofunikira kwambiri: musanachotse kusiyana konse komwe kwachitika, ndikofunikira kupeza zifukwa za kusagwirizana kumeneku. Kulankhulana, ndikofunikira kwambiri kuti mumvetsere ndikukumvetsetsa. Ngati mumalongosola anthu maganizo anu ndi zolinga zanu, mungapewe mikangano yambiri, ndewu ndi kusamvetsetsana kokha. Kawirikawiri, njira yokhayo yothetsera mikangano yovuta ndiyo kukhulupirika. Komabe, choonadi sichiyenera kufotokozedwa kuti awonetsere womulankhulana naye, koma kuti afotokoze zomwezo kwa iye.
Zifukwa za kusamvetsetsana pakati pa anthu osiyanasiyana zingakhale zosiyana kwambiri: malingaliro, maganizo, maganizo achipembedzo, ndale. Komabe, chifukwa chachikulu cha kusamvetsetsa ndi kulephera kumva omvera ake. Pambuyo pake, chigawo chofunikira kwambiri pa kulankhulana ndikumvetsera.
Womwe amamvetsera mwatcheru kwa munthu amene akukamba naye, amayamba kukhala vuto ndikuthandiza munthu kupanga malingaliro ake. Kuonjezerapo, njira yolankhulirana ndi njira yovuta kwambiri, chifukwa njira yolankhulirana imakhudzidwa kwambiri ngati munthu akulankhulana kapena mochita manyazi, komanso momwe zimakhalira ndi omvera. Kuwonjezera pamenepo, mawu, mawu, manja, maonekedwe ndi khalidwe labwino ziyenera kusankhidwa malingana ndi mtundu wa chiyanjano chimene mumachita - mwakhama kapena osadziwika.
Pa nthawi ya kulankhulana, nthawi zambiri timachita zolakwa zambiri. Izi zikhoza kukhala kugwiritsa ntchito zilembo zosautsa ndi mawu, ndi zolemba zosafunikira. Kukhazikitsa maubwenzi othandizira zizindikiro zowasamalira, zomwe zimakulolani kutsimikizira ndi kutsimikizira mnzanuyo.
Ngati simukudziwa kuyambitsa zokambirana, ndibwino kusankha mutu uliwonse wokondweretsa zokambirana zanu komanso nthawi imene munthu yemwe mukufuna kumayankhula sakugwira ntchito iliyonse. Ndikofunika kukumbukira kuti munthu wina sali chimodzimodzi ndi inu ndipo muyenera kuyang'ana mkhalidwe ndi maso ake. Izi ndizowona makamaka mukumenyana.
Ndikofunika nthawi zonse kulemekeza malingaliro a munthu wina, ngakhale izo sizigwirizana ndi zanu konse. Mudzatha kukhala ndi mtima wolemekezeka kwa munthu, ngati mumaphunzira kuona munthu aliyense zomwe zimakhalapo, ndiye umunthu wake.
Aliyense ayenera kulemekezedwa. Mukalemekeza munthu wina, mumadzilemekeza nokha. Ngakhale ngati mulibe ubale wabwino ndi munthu, mungachite bwino kukonzekera. Pazochitika zolimbana, akatswiri a zamaganizo amalangiza kuti asayiwale za zofuna za interlocutor. Chidwi chanu chidzamupangitsa kukhala wokondwa ndi wokonzanso.
Pali malamulo ena omwe angakuthandizeni kuti mukambirane moona mtima komanso momasuka ndi zomwe zimatchedwa "interlocutor". Gwiritsani ntchito "Chilankhulo cha I". Kuyambira kukambirana ndi mawu awa: "Mwa lingaliro langa ..." kapena "Ndikuwona izi ngati ...". Choncho, mukhoza kuchepetsa zokambiranazo ndikuwonetsani anthu omwe mumalankhula nawo zomwe mumafotokoza zokhazokha komanso musamayerekezere ndi choonadi. Kotero, inu mumadziwa ufulu wa interlocutor kuti akhale ndi lingaliro lake. Ndipo, mwinamwake, mudzamvetsera mwachidwi komanso momasuka.
Yesetsani kuyankhula za khalidwe linalake kapena vutoli ndipo musapite ku mitundu yonse ya generalizations. Mwachitsanzo, monga generalizations monga "Panalibe vuto limodzi kuti mubwere kunyumba nthawi" sadzakhala zothandiza. Pambuyo pake, chiyambi chotero cha zokambirana chidzakupatsani mpata wothawira ku vuto limene mudzatsutsa. Munthu amene mumamuneneza izi akhoza kuyamba kutsimikizira ndi kukumbukira kuti adachitapo kanthu nthawi yomweyo. Yesetsani, choyamba, kuti musonyeze kuti mukutsutsana naye kuti khalidwe lake siliteteze wina aliyense koma iye mwini.