Anthu amasiku ano akusintha mofulumira kwambiri, ndipo maziko a banja alibe nthawi. Mwinamwake, ndicho chifukwa chake akatswiri a maganizo amayamba kulankhula za vuto la banja. Ndipotu, sipangakhale vuto lililonse ngati ife, amayi, timagwirizana kwambiri m'banja. Inde, tikhoza kunena kuti si mphamvu ya amayi kusintha zinthu zina, ndipo sikutheka kusintha mwamuna wina, ndipo popanda icho palibe chomwe chidzatuluke. Koma komabe, ntchito yayikulu yosungira nyumbayi nthawi zonse inali ya akazi. Choncho tiyeni tiyesetse kupeza tanthauzo la kukhala osamala mu ubale ndi mwamuna.
Zaka makumi angapo zapitazo, mabanja adamangidwa motsatira mfundo zosiyana siyana kuposa tsopano. Banja linalengedwa kuti likhale losavuta kusunga famu yolumikizana, kulera ana. Mkaziyo amawoneka ngati mkazi wamkazi, ngakhale atagwira ntchito. N'zosadabwitsa kuti m'mabanja otero ndi bwino "kukhala pa Domostroi". Mgwirizano wotero, chikondi sichinali chofunikira kukhala pachiyambi, chofunika kwambiri chinali mgwirizano pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi. Nthawi zina anthu awiriwa ankakhalabe ndi chizoloŵezi chokhalira limodzi, ngakhale atasokonezeka.
Tsopano anthu asintha kotero kuti akazi alandire kufanana ndi amuna osati mwapadera, amathandizidwa ndi kukula kwakukulu kwa malipiro ndi ufulu wa mkazi. Ndipo zimakhala zovuta kuti abambo adziwonetsetse kuti kulibe chakudya chamadzulo komanso kuti mkazi wake watsala pang'ono kugwira ntchito. Mu malingaliro a anthu ambiri palinso zongopeka kuti ukwati wabwino umamangidwa pamachitidwe achikhalidwe.
Komabe, kumatsatira maudindo osamalidwa poyanjana ndi mwamuna wake, sikungodziwa utsogoleri wake m'banja. Pali zotsutsana mmagulu momwe momwe khalidwe la mwamuna ndi khalidwe la mkazi ziyenera kukhalira, momwe angalerere ana, ndi zina zotero. Koma banja lirilonse liri ngati aliyense wa mamembala ake. Choncho, kumamatira ku mzere wina wa khalidwe "ndi inertia", mukhoza kuphonya chinthu china chofunikira mu ubalewu. Ndipo tsopano mikangano imayamba, kusagwirizana, ana amakhala osamvera, ndipo okwatirana akuganiza za kusudzulana. Tawonani, kukangana ndi kusakhutira ndi mwamunawo zinakumananso m'mabanja a makolo athu, koma adagwiritsa ntchito chisudzulo chokha. Tsopano anthu akusudzulana mobwerezabwereza chifukwa chakuti wokondedwayo akusowa, samvetsa, samvetsera, pali zochepa zomwe amakonda nazo.
Chifukwa cha zochitika izi sikuti anthu asintha, ndipo sikuli kovuta kupeza munthu wodalirika pafupi ndi wina yemwe angakhale moyo. Chifukwa chake ndi chakuti anthu amaganizira kwambiri za kunja kwa ukwati, zomwe makolo, oyandikana nawo, amzanga amalingalira. Kuphatikizira kumalo osungirako zinthu, timaiwala kuti chithunzithunzi cha "conservatism" ndi "kusinthasintha." Timaiwala kuti mu maubwenzi ndikofunika kusintha kwa wokondedwayo. Izi sizikutsutsana ndi chikhalidwe cha akazi m'banja ndi m'dera. Koma ngati choncho, kodi kutanthauzanji kuti mukhale osamala mu ubale ndi mwamuna wanu?
Kukhala wodzisunga mu ubale ndi mwamuna wake kungakhale nkhani za maphunziro a ana, kugonana, udindo wa aliyense m'banja. Choyamba, conservatism amatanthauza kuti mkazi samayesa kupeza zosowa za mwamuna wake (ndi ana), koma amayesetsa kupeza malingaliro abwino. Pansi pa conservatism za kugonana, manyazi, manyazi, ndi kusowa kwa chiwerewere nthawi zambiri zimabisika. Pachibale, conservatism imawonekera pofuna kuyesa khalidwe lawo, komanso khalidwe la mamembala ena omwe amalembedwa kunja kwa chizoloŵezi chawo. Kaŵirikaŵiri amuna amalingalira ngakhale pang'ono kuti amasiyana maganizo awo, yesetsani maudindo atsopano. Koma akazi, mwatsoka, samadziwa nthawi zonse kuwafunsa za izo.
Ganizirani ngati mungasinthe moyo wanu wa banja ndikutsatira malamulo ndi miyambo, kapena mwinamwake mukuyenera kupanga malamulo anu? Ngati simukukondwera ndi chinachake mu ubale wanu ndi mwamuna wanu, kodi si nthawi yoti mukambirane naye? Momwe mungadziwire, mwinamwake iye akuyembekezera nthawi yaitali, pamene mupereka lingaliro latsopano.
Mulimonsemo, conservatism, izi sizolinga chifukwa cha zovuta zanu kapena kusafuna kusintha chinachake. Sikoyenera kukhala osamala ngati simukudziwa momwe mungamangire ubale wanu ndi mwamuna wanu. Ngati mukufuna ubale wogwirizana m'banja, muyenera kukumbukira kuti banja ndikulumikizana. Pofuna kukhazikitsa ndi kusunga mkhalidwe wabwino m'banja, muyenera kumanga maubwenzi kudzera kukambirana ndi mnzanu. Ndiye sizingakhale zofunikira kwambiri yemwe ali mwini nyumbayo ndi momwe angakhalire mukhitchini kapena pabedi.