"Munthu wokhumudwitsidwa amanyamula madzi kwa munthu wokhumudwa" - mwambiwu umayang'ana za maganizo oipa a anthu oyandikana nawo kwa munthu yemwe sangathe kuiwala mkwiyo, yemwe nthawi zonse amangokhalira kugwedezeka komanso wosakhutira ndi maganizo ake kwa okondedwa ake, ndithudi, n'kovuta kulankhulana ndi anthu oterewa. "kunyozedwa" sikuli kovuta kunyamula zodandaula mu moyo wanu, choncho muyenera kuphunzira kuchotsa katunduyo, komanso kuti mukhale paubwenzi ndi anthu ena, komanso nokha, ngakhale pa nthawi yomwe vutoli liri lalikulu. kodi n'zotheka kukhululuka?
Kodi mungakhululukire chiyani?
Monga madokotala amati, kuthekera kukhululukira kungakhale kopindulitsa ku thanzi. Kwenikweni, nthawi zonse chinyengo chimalimbikitsa chitukuko cha matenda osiyanasiyana a mtima. Izi zimatsimikiziridwa ndi zotsatira za kafukufuku waposachedwapa ku England, zomwe zinatsimikizira kuti anthu omwe amadana ndi ena ali ndi mwayi wambiri kuti akhale ndi matenda a mtima ndipo nthawi zambiri amatha kufa nthawi yaying'ono kusiyana ndi anthu oyenerera.
Komanso, kuthekera kukhululukira ndi kusunga thanzi la munthu kumakhala kofunika. Monga akatswiri a maganizo amalingalira, kukhululukidwa ndi mkhalidwe wa moyo, zomwe zimapangitsa munthu wopepesa kukhala munthu womasuka, komanso kumuthandizira kuti asamapezeko mabala ake. Iyi ndi njira yabwino yothetsera chidani ndi mantha, kuthekera kukhululukira ndikofunikira kwa munthu aliyense.
Kodi kukhululukira kumatanthauzanji? Madokotala akunena kuti kukhululukidwa ndi kusintha kwa maganizo oipa kwa munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani. Kusintha kwa malingaliro koteroko kumathandiza kuthetsa kupititsa patsogolo kwa ubongo ndi maganizo amphamvu kwambiri omwe amachititsa magazi kuopsa kwa mahomoni owopsa - cortisol ndi adrenaline. Sikofunikira kuti munthu aliyense aone nokha munthu amene mukufuna kumukhululukira, monga momwe sakusowa kulapa kapena kupepesa kwa iye. Kukhululuka kumakhala nthawi zonse mwa inu, kotero kuti mukhululukire, wina amene simukusowa.
Nchifukwa chiyani kuli kovuta kukhululukira munthu?
Chinthu chonse, pachiyambi, mwa malingaliro athu ponena zaife-kudzimva nokha ngati umunthu wodziimira ndi wodziimira, womwe, ndithudi, sungalole kuti izi zipweteke. Pachifukwa ichi, choyamba ndikum'khumudwitsa munthu. Komabe, patapita kanthawi munthu amayamba kuchita zinthu mokwanira komanso moyenera. Zimakhala zovuta kwa munthu wamba kuti asunthire kumangokhalira kumverera kukhululukidwa mtima, chifukwa pa izi ndikofunikira kuti mukhale ndi mtima womvera chisoni kapena mwa njira ina, kuthekera kuti mutenge malingaliro anu, malingaliro anu, ndi zochita zanu (ngakhale ziri zolakwika mumalingaliro anu) munthu wina, yemwe mwachibadwa ndi ntchito yovuta kwambiri, mofanana ndi kukhululukira.
Sitingathe kumvetsa chisoni chifukwa cha zochita za munthu yemwe watikhumudwitsa m'maganizo mwathu amasinthidwa, ndipo timachizindikira ngati munthu woipa. Kuphatikizanso, tikukhulupirira ndi mtima wonse kuti wolakwayo adanyozetsa mwadala kapena kutichitira chipongwe. Akatswiri a zamaganizo amanena kuti kuchita zimenezi "kumapereka zifukwa." Panthawi imodzimodziyo, tikhoza kuzindikira zolakwa zathu mosiyana, popeza tikudziwa kuti sitinatsogoleredwe ndi malingaliro olakwika kwa munthu wina, koma ndi zosiyana ndi ife, pamene zolakwika za anthu ena m'maganizo mwathu zili ndi zifukwa zomveka. Komabe, ngati tikuwoneka osayenerera, mwa zochita za wina aliyense wa ife, zochitika zonse ndi zilakolako zathu ndizolakwa.
Kodi ndichite chiyani kuti ndikhululukire munthu mkati mwa ine?
Choyamba, muyenera kudziganizira nokha kuti kubwera kwa kukhululukidwa kwa munthu wina sikophweka, komanso kwa nthawi yaitali. Gawo loyamba lidzakhala chitetezo kuchokera ku zochitika zanu zomwe zimasokoneza chifukwa ndi nzeru. Njira yabwino ndiyo kungoyamba kuganiza za chinthu china, chomwe sichigwirizana ndi munthu yemwe watikhumudwitsa. Ndipo muyenera kuchita izi mpaka nthawi yomwe mumadziwonetsera nokha simukumvetsa kuti mungathe kumukhululukira ndi mtima wonse.
Akatswiri a zamaganizo amalangiza kuchita ntchito yosavuta yosavuta - mwamsanga mutangoyamba kuganiza za zinthu zabwino ndi zabwino. Panthawi zovuta kwambiri, mukhoza kudzaza malingaliro anu ndi pemphero kapena kubwereza nokha malemba okalamba kapena kuwerenga kosavuta. Komabe, ndibwino kuganizira zinthu zabwino zomwe mumakumbukira nokha kuti mutayamba kukwiyira, simukuyenera kukumbukira moyo wanu mwachangu, komanso nthawi yake yabwino. Ngati mutatha kuthetsa maganizo oipa, ndiye kuti mungadziyamikire nokha, kapena mungadzipatse nokha mphatso yaing'ono.
Pali njira ina - yesani moyo kuti musunge chilolezo cha chikhululuko. Anthu pa nthawi zosiyana amayang'anitsitsa zofananazo mosiyana, choncho lembani m'magaziniyi malingaliro ndi malingaliro omwe mumakumana nawo tsiku ndi tsiku. Lembani zonse zomwe, mwa lingaliro lanu, zingakutsogolereni kuyanjana, ndi kubwezeretsa chilungamo. Malingana ndi ochita kafukufuku, anthu omwe ali ndi ma diaries amakhala osavuta kuthana ndi zovutazo ndipo amachedwa kukhululuka.
Pakapita nthawi, zolembera zamakalata zimakhala zosakwiya pang'ono, ndipo pali zifukwa zomwe zimapangitsa munthu wolakwiridwayo kuti azichita mwanjira imeneyi, osati ayi. Kukumbutsa kumathandizanso kwambiri munthu akakhumudwitsa wina. Kodi munamva bwanji pa nthawi yomweyi, munamva bwanji? Dzichepetseni nokha mmalo mwa wozunza, ndipo ganizirani zomwe akumva, komanso ngati akufuna kusintha zomwe zikuchitika. Yang'anirani mkhalidwewo kuchokera mu lingaliro la filosofi, ndipo khululukirani ochimwa omwe ali ochimwa, chifukwa ife tonse ndife anthu ndipo tikhoza kulakwitsa, zomwe ife timachita manyazi pamenepo. Koma kodi pali anthu angwiro?
Kodi mungatsitsimutse bwanji kukhululuka?
Chilichonse chimayamba ndi chaching'ono, kotero ngati mukufuna kuphunzira kukhululukira zifukwa zazikulu, ndiye kuti mukufunika kuphunzira zovuta zochepa zosavuta. Mwachitsanzo:
- Sankhani maphunziro anu omwe simukuwadziwa. Ngati galimoto yanu inakopedwa ndi dalaivala wosadziwa zambiri, kapena mutakankhidwa pamzerewu, yesetsani kusonkhanitsa chifunocho ndikukaniza mkwiyo wonse mwadzidzidzi.
- Yesetsani kukhululukira "pasadakhale". Zimenezi zikutanthauza kuti m'mawa mukatha kudzuka, dzifunseni pagalasi kuti: "Palibe choipa, koma ndili ndi ngongole kwa anthu onse, chifukwa chilichonse chili chabwino."
- Simukuyenera kumukhululukira munthu mwangwiro. Yesetsani kumukhululukira ngakhale mphindi imodzi patsiku. Ndiye yesetsani kuwonjezera nthawi ino kwa mphindi ziwiri kapena kuposerapo. Ndiyeno yang'anani, ndi chiyani kuchokera apa
- Yambani mwa kudzikhululukira nokha. Titangodzizindikira tokha, osamvetsera zofooka zathu kapena makhalidwe athu, timakhala olekerera, posiyana ndi zolakwa za anthu ena ozungulira ife.