Momwe mungamvetsetse, kodi pali mwayi wokhalabe ndi chibwenzi? Kapena yankho labwino - komabe kuti mupite? Ngati anthu akhala pamodzi kwa nthawi yayitali, mafunso opwetekawa sakhala osowa. Tiyeni tiyesere kupeza yankho kwa iwo.
Monga momwe chiwonetsero chimasonyezera, nthawi zina amagwiritsidwa ntchito pazochitika zoterozo, njira yodziwunikira ubale wanu - tengani pepala, pezani izo theka ndikulembera mbali imodzi zabwino zonse, ndi zina - zonse ziri zoipa, ndipo pambuyo pake kuti muwone chomwe chidzapambana - sichithandiza, chifukwa kukumbukira kwathu kumapeza mosamalitsa ziganizo zomwe zimakhazikitsidwa ndi chikhalidwe chachisokonezo, mkwiyo, kubwezera kapena chisoni.
Ndizothandiza kwambiri kuti muwone bwino mgwirizano wanu ndi chithandizo cha zofunikira makamaka zomwe zimagwiritsidwa ntchito ndi akatswiri a maganizo a anthu a m'maganizo komanso a psychotherapist. Ngati pazinthu zambiri zomwe zili pansipa, ubalewu wathyoka, ndiye mutha kulingalira za kusiyana.
1. Osakhala moyo chifukwa cha iye
Kukhutira mokwanira "kukhala moyo wa wokondedwa." Cholinga cha kukonzekera kotereku ndikulingalira ubale wautali, wodekha. Ngati, mmalo mwake, wokondedwayo nthawi zonse amalankhula za kugawikana, kutenga zosankha zofunika zomwe zimakhudza tsogolo lake palimodzi (mwachitsanzo, kusintha ntchito), ngati saganizire zofuna za mnzanuyo, ndiye kuti munthuyo sakonzekera bwino mu moyo wake wa wokondedwa wake ndi iye mwini kuti akhale nawo m'moyo wake.
2. Musasunge malonjezo awa
Chinthu chinanso chokonzekera "kukhala ndi mnzanu" chikukwaniritsa malonjezo omwe anapangidwa - onse akulu ndi ang'onoang'ono.
3. Sankhani kuti musamufunse
Nthawi zina munthu samadziwa kuti akukonzekera kuthetsa ubale ndi mnzanu. Izi zikhoza kuwonetseredwa ndi zisankho zomwe anapanga komanso zolinga zomwe mkaziyo sanapereke. Mwachitsanzo, mmodzi mwa anthu omwe ali nawo limodzi ali pa zokambirana za kusintha ntchito, akusamukira kumzinda wina, kukonzekera ulendo wopanda kudzipereka kwa mnzake. Zonsezi zikhonza kukhala chizindikiro kuti wina wa iwo akudziŵa kale kuti asintha.
4. Musakhale ndi ulemu
Kupanda ulemu kungadziwonetsere m'njira zosiyanasiyana. Mwachitsanzo, pali anthu omwe amakhulupirira kuti wokondedwa ayenera kuukitsidwa poyamba, pokonza zomwe makolo ake sanachite. Nthawi zonse amakokera ndi kukonza mnzanuyo ("musalankhulane kwambiri pafoni"), mumusankhire zochita ("Ndinakulemberani ku gawo chifukwa ndinu olemera kwambiri"), mumamupatsa lingaliro lake lachisangalalo ndikumukakamiza kuchita zoyenera ( "muyenera kuchita kafukufuku wamaganizo"). Anthu ena amasonyeza kuti sakulemekeza luso lake labwino ("simudziwa izi"), kukayikira luso lake ("ndiroleni ine ndichite ndekha, mukuzichita pang'onopang'ono"), kulemekeza zomwe mnzanuyo amakonda ("ngati mukhoza kumvetsera nyimbo zoterezi ").
5. Lembani ulemu
Mosiyana ndi chikhalidwe choyambirira, khalidwe lolemekezeka loyamba kwa wokondedwa lingasinthe ndi nthawi. Kodi n'zotheka kulemekeza munthu yemwe nthawi zonse amaledzera ndipo sakudziwa zomwe akuchita? Kodi n'zotheka kulemekeza munthu amene sangathe kusintha maganizo ake? Kodi n'zotheka kulemekeza munthu amene amatsitsa manja ake pang'onopang'ono, kupsa mtima? Zimakhala zovuta kulemekeza munthu wamng'ono, yemwe samayesa kutenga udindo wa moyo wake. Kulemekezeka kotayika kwa wokondedwa sikophweka kumanganso, ndipo popanda kulemekezana n'kovuta kumanga maubwenzi.
6. Ubale ukukankhidwa kumbuyo
Ngati chiyanjano sichinayambe, pamene ntchito, ana, makolo, maudindo kwa anthu ena ndi ofunikira kwambiri kusiyana ndi zilakolako ndi zosowa za mnzanuyo - ndiye palibe chifukwa chokambirana za kukhulupirika pakati pa abwenzi.
7. Kumva kusazindikira komanso kusowa ufulu
Kodi mumamva kuti ndinu womasuka komanso wodalirika ndi mnzanuyo? Kodi mungamufotokozere maganizo anu mopanda mantha kuti adzakufananitsani inu ndi dziko lapansi? Kodi mungasonyeze kuti mumamukhumudwitsa popanda mantha? Kodi mungathe kupita ku phwando, kukakumana ndi anzanu, kuchita zomwe mumakonda? Ngati mnzanuyo akugwedezeka, akukwiyitsidwa, akukwiyitsa, akukwiyitsa, palibe chitsimikizo ndi ufulu mu ubale wanu.
8. Kusiyana kwakukulu pa moyo
Ngati mmodzi wa anthuwa ndi nyumba, ndipo wina amakonda kucheza ndi kampani yodandaula, ndiye chifukwa cha izi, pangakhale mikangano nthawi zonse ndi kukangana. Koma izi sizimayambitsa chiwonongeko. Nthawi zonse nthawi zina zimatha kuyanjana. Ndi nkhani ina ngati abwenzi ali ndi maudindo osiyana siyana. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mmodzi wa iwo akufuna kuti akhale ndi ana ndipo winayo sali; kapena ngati mwamuna akuganiza kuti mkazi wake ayenera kusiya ntchito ndi kudzipereka yekha kunyumba ndi ana, ndipo mkazi sagwirizane ndi izi, ndiye kusiyana kwakukulu koteroko kumapangitsa kugonana kukhala kovuta kwambiri.
9. Kusasowa kwachibadwa
Ngati abwenzi alibe chofanana ndi china chilichonse kupatula ana awo, maganizo omwe amakhala nawo pamodzi amakhala osauka. M'malo mwake, ngati, kuphatikizapo ana onse omwe amagonana nawo, ntchito yodziphatikizana imagwirizanitsidwa ndi masewera, abwenzi ambiri, zokondana kapena, mwachitsanzo, chidwi cha ndale, zimagwirizana ndi chinachake choposa mphamvu ndi kunja.
10. Kusiyanitsa thupi ndi mtunda
Ngati abwenzi sakufunanso kugwirana wina ndi mzake, kugwirana chanza, kapena kukhumudwitsa wina, ndikumununkhira ngakhale fungo la wokondedwayo (kumbukirani mawu akuti "sindingathe kuimirira mzimu"), ichi ndi chizindikiro choti muyenera kugawana.
Ngati mwachindunji pazinthu zambiri zomwe mwalembazi mudzakhala ndi yankho lolakwika, muyenera kuganizira mozama za kupititsa patsogolo chiyanjano. Koma musanachitepo kanthu, muyenera kudzifunsanso kuti: "Ndachita chiyani, tachita chiyani kuti tisunge ubale wathu?" Ndinachita chiyani kuti ndikhalebe? "