Pali lingaliro loti amayi ndi amayi onse akulota kukwatiwa, ndipo amadza ndi njira zosiyanasiyana kuti atsogolere mnyamata wokongola. Mwinamwake, ndipo kwenikweni, iwo akufuna, kamodzi m'magazini a akazi mungapeze nkhani zotsalira "Kodi mungakwatire bwanji?". Mungathe kulingalira kuti mabukhu aamuna adasindikiza nkhani yakuti "Momwe mungamutsimikizire mtsikana kuti akakwatira?". Pano sindingathe. Chilichonse chofanana ndi "Ndibwino bwanji kupanga phindu?". Ndiyeno chinachake monga "Momwe mungakwaniritsire zonse zomwe mukufuna, popanda ukwati".
Komabe, posachedwapa, mnzanga wina anandifunsa kuti: "Nanga ndiwe chiyani, atsikana amakono, musachedwe kukwatira?" - Ndinaganiza. Ndipo ndithudi ndi choonadi, pakati pa abwenzi anga ndizolemera kwa atsikana kuyambira 20 mpaka 30 omwe samangokwatira kukwatira. Kapena mwinamwake sizingathekebe panobe? Kotero kodi akazi onse akulota ukwati, kapena kodi ndi nthano chabe?
Pambuyo pofunsa abwenzi anga abwenzi, sindinamvepo "inde" imodzi, ndipo palibe imodzi yeniyeni yotanthauza "ayi". Zowona mayankho ndi awa: "Ndikufunafuna ndani", "Ndikafuna kuti ndikhale ndi mwana", "Akaitana, ndiye ndikuganiza ngati ndikufuna kapena ayi."
Ukwati, monga lamulo, si mapeto mwaokha wokha. Iyi ndiyo njira yowonjezera zolinga zosiyana. Kupatulapo, kupatula kuti mayankho angapo akuti "Ndikufuna ukwati , chifukwa ndi wokongola" kapena "inde, nthawi yayamba kale." Ngakhale m'mayesero amenewa ndizomveka kuti ukwatiwu ndi woti ukwati ukhalepo.
Nchifukwa chiyani akazi akukwatirana?
Nanga ndi zolinga zotani zomwe atsikana amakumana nazo atakwatirana?
Choyamba, palibe amene akufuna kulera mwana yekha, ndipo posakhalitsa mwana amafuna zonse. Ichi ndi mantha oyambirira a tsogolo ndi chikhumbo chokhala ndi chidaliro m'tsogolo.
Kwa atsikana ena amakono, mwana ndiye chifukwa chokha chokwatirana, ndipo popanda ana safunikira ukwati. Pankhani ya kupitiriza kwa mtunduwu, pali njira ziwiri. Mukhoza kukwatira chifukwa mukuganiza kuti ndinu wokonzeka kukhala ndi ana ndi kukhala ndi banja, ndipo mukhoza kukwatira chifukwa mudakhala ndi pakati. Inde, palibe mtsikana wina yemwe amati akufuna kukwatiwa chifukwa chakuti anatenga mimba, koma musaiwale chifukwa chomwecho.
Chifukwa chachiwiri - lingaliro lakuti ukwati umakulolani kuti mumangirire munthu wamphamvu. Inde, samasunga unyolo, koma kukhala ndi mkazi wake ndikovuta kwambiri kusiyana ndi msungwana chabe.
"Wokwatiwa? Kufunafuna wina, ngati A., ndimatha kumugwira, zingakhale zovuta ndi ine kuthetsa banja, monga momwe zidzakhalira kwambiri. Ndipo ndikufuna kuti ndizisunge, chifukwa ndili ndi chizoloŵezi cha chizoloŵezi ndi chikondi mwa njira ina, ndipo kuyambira pamene ukwati ukukwaniritsa mgwirizano ndipo kuyambira, ndine Capricorn, ndakhala ndikukwaniritsira zolinga zonse, sindidzapuma mpaka nditapeza sitampu pa pasipoti yanga, " mmodzi wa abwenzi anga.
Inde, sikuti munthu aliyense angathe kugwirizanitsa pamodzi zaka zomwe adagwiritsidwa pamodzi pamodzi ndi katundu wake (kumbukirani kutha kwa banja la Abramovich), koma izi ndizolimba kwambiri. Sizongopanda kanthu zomwe mwakhala mwambi posachedwapa: "Palibe chomwe chimalimbikitsa ukwati monga mgwirizano wogwirizana."
"Ndikufuna kukhala ndi ufulu wovomerezeka!" - anatero Julia, wazaka 23. "Otopa pokwaniritsa ntchito za mkazi ndi ufulu wa mbuye", - akulengeza Olya, wazaka 25. Inde, ufulu wa mkazi wake ndi woposa mbuye. Ndipo muukwati waumwini poyankha zonena za oyendetsa usiku pakati pa usiku mungamve: "Kodi iwe ukulamulira ine, kodi iwe ndiwe mkazi wanga kapena chinachake?"
Kawirikawiri palinso chikhumbo chofuna ndalama kwa mwamuna wake. Chirichonse chimene iwe umanena, ndi kukwatira munthu wolemera ndi chimodzi mwa zolinga za atsikana ambiri. Winawake amalandira zam'tsogolo, kupyolera mwa ndalama za mwamuna wake ntchito yake, ndipo wina akufuna kungozungulira pakhosi pake ndikukhala ndi ndalama za wina.
Kuthetsa kupyolera mu mavuto a banja ndi mavuto a nyumba - chizolowezicho si chachilendo komanso chofala. Winawake akufuna chabe munthu wolemera, wina akufuna, mwachitsanzo, kuti asamukire ku America. Ndipo ndi zachilendo osati kwa akazi okha, komanso kwa amuna. Komabe, mwina sikuyenera kunena za chikhumbo chokwatirana, koma za zolinga zina.
Koma apa pali zomwe zimakupangitsani inu kuganiza. Palibe mtsikana wanena kuti akufunafuna chikondi m'banja. Sindidzayesa ngati zili zabwino kapena zoipa. Mfundo yakuti ukwati sagwirizana ndi chikondi, kumbali imodzi, ndi yachibadwa, chifukwa kuti mukondane ndi kukondedwa, sikofunika kukwatira. Komano, chinachake mwa anthu athu chikusintha. Pambuyo pake, ngati tipempha amayi athu ndi agogo aakazi chifukwa chake akwatirana, ambiri a iwo adzayankha: "Chifukwa cha chikondi."
Ino ndi nthawi kale!
Ndipo komabe, zolinga zirizonse zomwe mkaziyo mwiniwake amapereka, malingaliro a anthu nthawi zonse amamukakamiza kuti ayambe kufulumira. Ngakhale atsikana a zaka makumi awiri, nthawi zina amafunsidwa kuti: "Kodi mumakwatirana mukapita?" Ndinganene chiyani za ana makumi atatu?
Popeza kuti ali ndi ufulu wokhala ndi moyo wathanzi ndi kupeza ndalama, amayi adalandira posachedwa, sizosadabwitsa kuti chizoloŵezi chopezera moyo wawo ndi chikhalidwe chawo pamalonda a amuna sichoncho. Pambuyo pa zaka zambiri mkazi atadziwa kuti asankha yekha kukhalabe wosakwatiwa, n'zovuta kusintha nthawi yomweyo.
Ngati atsikana akuganiza kuti safuna kukwatira, amatha kufotokoza kuti "sakufunanso". "Mwachitsanzo, ine sindikufuna kukwatira pa nthawi inayake, chifukwa: palibe yemwe ali ndi wina yemwe ali ndi maganizo omwe anthu omwe ali okwatirana amakhala nawo pakupanga ana, koma sindifuna kukhala ndi ana kumapazi anga. Katya, wazaka 21, anati: "Komabe, n'zovuta kwambiri kuphika winawake ndi kusamba masokosi."
Mwachikhalidwe, pempho lokwatirana limachokera kwa munthu. Ndipo mwa amuna onse okwatirana omwe ine ndikuwadziwa, zoperekazo zinayikidwa ndi munthu. Mwamuna, wamtundu wotere, ayenera kukhala wamkulu pa chisankho ichi, pomwe mkazi ali wokonzeka kukwatira . Ndipo cholinga chake ndi kukankhira munthu uyu.
Kuwonjezera pa kukakamizidwa kwa lingaliro la anthu, pali zitsanzo zenizeni za ena. Pamene abwenzi onse adakondwerera kale ukwati, msungwanayo akuyamba kuganiza kuti mwina ndi woipa kuposa ena.
Yokha kapena waulere?
Mkazi wosakwatiwa nthawi zambiri amatchedwa wosungulumwa, pomwe mwamuna wosakwatira ndi womasuka.
Mungathe kukangana momveka bwino ponena kuti izi ndizosiyana, monga kudana ndi apongozi awo ndi apongozi awo, koma, monga akunenera, nthabwala zonse zimakhala ndi nthabwala.
Azimayi ambiri amaopa kuti sadzakwatirana. Amaopa kusungulumwa, kuwatsutsa pagulu, chisoni. Kuopa uku ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zofunika zomwe zimakakamiza mkazi kulowa m'banja.
Koma chikwati sizitsimikiziranso kuti mudzasangalala. Amanena kuti ngati mkazi akumva kusungulumwa, amakwatira. Ndipo pamene mkazi akumva kusungulumwa muukwati, iye amapeza wokondedwa. Izi zikusonyeza kuti muyenera kuthana ndi kusungulumwa m'njira zina.
Nanga n'chifukwa chiyani akazi amakono amakwatirana mochedwa?
Ngakhale zifukwa zambiri zomwe amai akufuna kukwatira, asungwana amakono amakhalabe nthawi yaitali komanso osakwatiwa.
Zifukwa zomwe amayi amasonyezera ndizofunika kwambiri m'chilengedwe. Zowonjezereka ndizowonongeka ntchito ndi mavuto a nyumba. Kugula nyumba yanu kumawoneka ngati chinthu chakutali komanso chosayenera kwa mtsikana. Ndikufuna kukhala pansi poyamba, kupeza ndalama. "Vuto sikuti sindingathe kupeza ndalama pamene ndikumana ndi maso. Pafupi palibe aliyense amene akugwira ntchito zoposa chaka chimodzi ndi hafu pamalo amodzi, ndipo sindikudziwa kuti mwamuna wanga ndi ntchito yake idzakhala bwino. Komanso, amuna amakono, mwa lingaliro langa, amakhalabe ana mpaka makumi atatu. Mowa ndi abwenzi ndi masewera a pakompyuta - chinthu chachikulu chimene abwenzi anga ambiri omwe amawafuna kwambiri, "Olesya, wazaka 27, akuti.
Nanga akazi akufuna kukwatira? Inde, aliyense ali wosiyana ndipo aliyense akufuna kuti akwaniritse zinthu zosiyana pamoyo. Koma zoganiza zanga n'zofanana: amayi ambiri amafunitsitsa kukwatira. Koma sakufuna sitampu pasipoti yawo, koma banja.