Zomwe zikuchitika zikuwonjezereka ndikuzindikira kuti mbuyeyo wabwera ku chirichonse atakonzeka, chifukwa sankayenera kubwereka pakhomo ndi mwamuna panthawi yomwe onse awiri anali ophunzira, anaphonya siteji ya makokosi a darn pamene mwamuna wake adalandira ndalama, sanapange masangweji kuti agwire ntchito nthawi yomwe wokondedwayo analibe ndalama zokwanira zodyera mu chipinda chodyera kapena cafe. Anabwera ndi mwamuna yemwe analeredwa ndi mwamuna wake kwa zaka zambiri. Ndipo ngati sakanatero, adayesetsa kuti awononge ubale weniweniwo.
Poyamba, mkazi woteroyo ndi woyenera kutsutsidwa. Koma kodi ali wokondwa komanso wokhutira ndi zochitikazo? Ndipo kodi ndi bwino kuganiza kuti atakwaniritsa zolinga zake, kodi zinapinduladi? Mwinamwake sayenera kutsutsidwa, ndipo mkazi woteroyo ali ndi ufulu womvera chisoni?
Palibe amene angatsutse kuti sizinthu zokha zapabanja zomwe zimabweretsa chisangalalo chimene mkazi aliyense amafunikira. Chimwemwe chiyenera kudziwonetseranso zokha m'zinthu zazing'ono. Ndipo apa zikuonekeratu kuti sizili ndi mbuye yemwe mwamuna adzakambilane za kupambana kwa mwana wake pa mpikisano wokhazikika, sangapeze chimwemwe ndi chisoni chake ndi iye, sizidzakhala naye kukondwerera Chaka Chatsopano ndi maholide ena osafunika kwambiri.
Momwe mungakhalire muzochitika zoterezi ndi zomwe mungachite ngati mukumva kuti mukukondana ndi munthu wokwatirana wa theka la anthu? Pali njira zingapo zomwe mungakambirane pambuyo pake.
Mwamuna wodulayo ndi taboo
Nthawi zambiri zimachitika kuti munthu amabisala kumudzi wake watsopano yemwe ali wokwatira. Koma mwamsanga mutaphunzira choonadi chowawa, musalole kuti ubale wanu ukhale wolimba, kuwadula mu mphukira, kusiya munthu wotereyo udindo wa mnzanu kapena mnzanu. Koma nthawi zina zimakhala zophweka kunena kusiyana ndi kuchita ndipo palibe mkazi mmodzi wagwera mumsampha wotero, poganiza kuti kukonda kapena kugonana nthawi imodzi sikudzawaopseza.
Ndi njira yosamvetsetseka yomwe imatsogolera ku mavuto aakulu: Mkazi amayamba kukondana ndi mwamuna wokwatiwa, amamvetsa kuti malingaliro ake ndi enieni, koma samangokhalira kumangokhalira kumangokhalira kumangokhalira kumanga banja.
Kuti musalowe mumsampha, ndi bwino kuti mudzipangire nokha kuti mwatsatanetsatane, ngakhale maseŵera osavulaza sakuphatikizidwa. Ngati simungathe kudziletsa nokha mukamawona wokondedwa wanu, ndi bwino kupeŵa zochitika zotere zomwe njira zanu zimadutsa. Ndipo ndithudi, palibe nsanza, zopsompsona ndi chifundo china. Poyambirira chisankho ichi chapangidwa, mofulumira kudzakhala kuchotsa kudalira.
Ife timadumpha kuchoka ku sitima yokhotakhota
Munayamba kuchita chiyanjano ndi "zhenatik", iwo adadziwa kuti ngakhale kuti nthawi zina mumasangalala, komabe kuzindikira kuti zochitikazo ndizokhazika mtima pansi. Kafukufuku wopangidwa ndi akatswiri a zamaganizo anasonyeza kuti miyezi iwiri kapena itatu ndi yokwanira kudziwa mwamuna ndi kupeza ngati ali wokonzeka kuchoka m'banja. Ngati mumvetsetsa kuti wokondedwa amakhutidwa ndi momwe alili ndi mkazi komanso wokonda, kwa miyezi ingapo yomwe mwayikidwa, simudzakhala ndi nthawi yokhala ndi chibwenzi ndi munthu, kuti kupuma kumabweretsa mavuto ambiri.
Amuna ali osiyana kwambiri pazinthu izi: ali pafupi mwamsanga pamsonkhano woyamba kuti adziwe okha, mkazi akhoza kukhala mkazi mtsogolo. Ntchito ya mbuye yemweyo ndikutsegula zolinga za munthuyo.
Phunzitsani amasonyeza kuti ngati simunakonzekere kupatula moyo wanu wonse, mumakhala zovuta kwambiri kusonkhanitsa kamodzi ndi mphamvu ndikuletsa maubwenzi omwe atopa kwambiri. Nthawi zina ziyenera kukhala zolimba, chifukwa nthawizina amuna safuna kungosiya ndi okonzeka kumenyera wokondedwa.
Kodi mumakonda? Nkhondo!
Azimayi omwe amakhulupirira kwambiri kuti mkazi wokondedwa amakhala pansi ndi mkazi wa mugger, kuti akhala akuiwalika kuti kugonana kuli ndi mkazi wake, kuti anawo amutsutsana naye ndipo mkazi samusiya kuti achoke, koma chifukwa cha kusudzulana muyenera kulipira katundu yense, chinthu choyamba chomwe muyenera kuchizindikira, kuti mwamunayo, mwinamwake, akunama. Ngati mwakonzeka kukhala oleza mtima, mukhoza kuyamba kumenyera chimwemwe chanu.
Akatswiri a zamaganizo pa nkhani imeneyi akulimbikitsa kuti tisakhale ndi chiyembekezo chokhudzana ndi zotsatira zabwino, komatu iwo akufuna kuti alowe nawo nkhondo kwa okondedwa awo adzatha kukhazikitsa mkhalidwe wabwino kwambiri mnyumbamo, kukondwera ndi chilakolako chochepa cha munthu kuti athandizidwe mwanjira ina, kuvomereza ngakhale mphatso zazing'ono monga bokosi la maswiti. Ndibwino kuti tipeŵe kukamba za mwamuna wovomerezeka, kotero kuti alibe chikhumbo chofanana nanu. Muyenera kulumphira pabedi. Ndipo potsirizira pake uyenera kusewera malo omwe, mwa kuphwanya manja mwanu, mudzaika patsogolo chiwonetsero chanu chomwe mumakonda: bwerani ndi zinthu kwa sabata kapena kuposa musabwere. Dziwani kuti ngati mutakhala ndi zotsatira zabwino, mudzakhala mkazi wake. Ndipo izi ndizo zomwe sikuti amayi onse amayesetsa.
Kudzichepetsa ndi kudzichepetsa kachiwiri
Kusankha kukhala mbuye, muyenera kuzindikira bwino kuti kumadera okhaokha, amuna akukonzekera kusiya banja lovomerezeka. Kawirikawiri ambuye, adasiyira udindo wake, amakhalabe ndi moyo wapadera, chifukwa gawo la mkango, bamboyo amabwezera banja limodzi komanso ntchito.
Pofuna kukhalabe ndi thanzi labwino, mayi yemwe adagwira ntchito ya wokonda, ayenera kukwaniritsa nthawi yake. Ndikofunika kuti mu moyo wake pakhale ntchito yosangalatsa, abwenzi, mabwenzi ndipo, mwinamwake, munthu wina. Kuwonjezera apo, musayembekezere mwamuna wokwatiwa ngati mulungu, msiyeni apange misonkhano yake ndi inu. Kumbukirani kuti abambo a kugonana amphamvu amaganiza kuti mkazi wabwino ndi wosungiramo zinthu ndipo amakhala ndi chimwemwe ndipo amatha kubwezeretsa mphamvu za ena.
Zimakhalanso kuti mkazi amatha zonse zomwe zilipo pakalipano. Kawirikawiri, amayi omwe akwatiwa ndipo ali ndi ana, koma safuna kudzimanga okha ndi zibwenzi zapabanja mobwerezabwereza, kuyamba okonda. Kwa iwo, wokondedwa ndi gwero la maganizo abwino, zakuthupi, koma kenanso.
Zirizonse zomwe zinali, ngati ubalewo unasanduka udindo wowawa, ndi nthawi yowawerengera iwo ndipo, mwina, kuswa. Ndipo posakhalitsa kusiyana kumeneku kumachitika, kumakhala kosavuta kukhala ndi moyo wosokonekera.