Mtsikana aliyense amakhala ndi zolinga pamoyo wake. Mwachibadwa, chirichonse chimayamba ndi wokondedwa, ndiye munthu wokondedwa, ana, ntchito ndi zina. Chowonadi, chithunzichi chikuwonekera bwino, pafupifupi onse ali ndi ndodo yofanana yofanana. Sikuti kungokhala ndi zonsezi, ndikofunikira kuti izi zonse zikhale zenizeni, zowona, zofunika. Ndiye sizingakhale zofunikira kuyendera ku funso, lotchedwa psychology: banja losangalala. Ndipotu, nthawi zambiri m'moyo ndi zovuta kwambiri kuposa mabuku.
Ngakhale kuti zovuta zonse zomwe zingatheke m'banja zingathe kukhalapo ndipo zimakhala zikudikirira pafupifupi banja lililonse lachitatu, komabe mabanja okondwa alipo ndipo alipo. Monga momwe psychology imanenera, banja limakhala losangalala m'njira zosiyanasiyana, chifukwa chakuti mabanja ali osiyana. Pa nthawi yomweyo, chimwemwe chimawonetsedwa mofanana. Kodi n'zotheka kuphunzira zizindikiro za onse awiri omwe ali m'banja losangalala? Ngati ndi choncho, nthawi yomweyo zidzatsimikiziranso zoyenera kuchita. Kodi mukufuna kugwiritsa ntchito ndalama pa zodabwitsa zomwe simukuziganizira nokha, koma kwa wokondedwa wanu, ndipo pitani kwa abwenzi anu, ngakhale simukufuna? Inu nonse muzichita zomwe mukufunikira! Ukwati wanu sudzakhala wautali, komanso wolimba. Banja losangalala silimakhala ngati kugonjera mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, kapena kumvera kwathunthu. Malingaliro ogwirizana ndi okondweretsa, maloto ofunika, kapena kupuma - ndi nthawi zofunika kuti pakhale banja labwino ndi labwino.
Moyo wopanda mawu.
Malinga ndi psychology, banja losangalala ndi banja lomwe palibe amene amatsutsana ndi mawu. Koma izi siziri mndandanda wonse. Kwa ubale mwa anthu okwatirana anali ofunda, pambali, anakhalabe kwa nthawi yayitali, kuti ndemanga iliyonse ikhale yofunika kwambiri. Onse okwatirana ayenera kukhala mtundu wina wa omembala. Kodi mukufuna kutsutsa? Ndi bwino kuchita izi kuti wothandizira osiyanawo asakhumudwitsidwe, makamaka mochenjera. Mawu ake osakhutira, kapena kutsutsa, mocheperanso kutsutsidwa ndi zomwe akunena, ndemanga ikhoza kusokoneza chirichonse. Sizowonjezera kuti asamunyoze mwamuna kapena mkazi wake, ndikudandaula, kumumvera chisoni, ndikofunika. Pambuyo ponena mwatsatanetsatane, mwamuna wanu sangagwirizane ndi khama lalikulu, kotero kuti wokondedwa wake sadandaule, makamaka kulira.
Kugawa bajeti.
Chimodzi mwa zifukwa zowonjezera za mavuto a m'banja ndicho ndalama. Mkaziyo amathera zambiri, koma mwamuna wake amalandira pang'ono. Ndi bwino kugawira iwo pamodzi ndi mwamtendere, kupatula popanda mawu okweza, kotero kuti ndalama sizingakhale chinthu chosagwirizana. Kuti mupeze mavuto a zachuma, mabanja okondwa akhoza kwathunthu, koma nkofunikira kuwathetsa monga momwe mungathere. Pofuna kutsindika chidwi chenicheni pa yemwe angathe komanso momwe angapezere ndalama, sikofunikira. Ndalama zimabweretsa ndalama, zimapita ku zabwino za banja. Mwachidziwikire, munthu sangathe kukhala pakhomo pomwe sakuchita kanthu, kapena mkazi sangathe kuzigwiritsa ntchito kwambiri. Ndikofunika kuwonetsa zochita zawo ndi zochita wina ndi mzake, powonetsa kukhulupirirana.
Mwamuna ndiye bwenzi lapamtima kwambiri.
Mkazi ndi bwino kuganizira osati wokondedwa wokha, kapena wopeza, komanso bwenzi labwino. Malingaliro abwino kwa wokondedwayo amapangidwa ndi mabanja osangalala kwambiri. Katswiri wina wa zamaganizo wotchedwa John Tottman adatsimikizira kuti maziko a ubale wabwino wa banja amawoneka ngati abwenzi. Sikofunika kuti mupite kuzinthu zakunja kuti mumvetse izi. Ndipo nzeru zachikhalidwe zimati simungathe kudula ubwenzi weniweni ndi nkhwangwa. Kusemphana maganizo sikungakhalenso kukondana ndi kugonana mu ubwenzi weniweni, komanso maubwenzi apabanja. Momwemonso, chimodzimodzi ndi cholepheretsa ubwenzi. Kuseketsa pa bwenzi, kapena kusewera naye, ngakhale kuvumbulutsira za cardinal zake zofunika.
Chimwemwe mu moyo wapamtima.
Lingaliro lakuti pamene kugonana sikosiyana konse, nkofunikira kumenya chenichenso, kapena kuti banja silinasangalale, kulipo komwe kulipo pakati pa okwatirana. Asayansi amakhulupirira kuti ngati okwatiranawa safuna kuti asinthe machitidwe awo ogonana, tikhoza kunena kuti amakhutira ndi maubwenzi onse apamtima. Mukhoza kuyesa njira zatsopano ndi kuyesa. Kodi anthu amakondana pamene akusamalirana? Choncho kugonana sikungakhale ntchito yachibadwa. Mkazi wololera ayenera kudziwa momwe angathere kukondweretsa mkazi, komanso momwe angakhalire ndi anthu kapena kunyumba. Kudzudzula mkaziyo sikuletsedwa. Mukhoza, mwachitsanzo, kutsitsa diso, pamene mukugwedeza tsitsi. Khalidweli lidzakuuzani za chikhulupiliro cha mkazi, chidaliro chake pa kugonana ndi kukongola kwake.
Lankhulani wina ndi mzake.
Banja losangalala silingakhale choncho ngati zokhumudwitsa zonse zimakhala zakuya mwaokha. Ndi bwino kulankhula za mavuto ofatsa kusiyana ndi kulengeza mosasamala. Phunzirani kumvetsera mnzanuyo, musati musokoneze. Kupondereza munthu, ngati mwadzidzidzi ali ndi vuto linalake, sizothandiza, ndi bwino kungopereka maganizo osiyana, kunena za zotsatira zomwe zingatheke. Kukhala chete sikungachititse manyazi, kumakhala kumwetulira kokoma? Izi zikutanthauza kuti ndi kuyang'ana kwa okwatirana okondana kumvetsetsana komanso opanda mawu osiyana. Kodi mukuganiza kuti pali kumvetsetsa m'banja lanu? Yang'anani momwe inu nonse mumagwirizira manja. Kodi zala zanu zasokonekera? N'zosatheka kuti banja likhale logwirizana.
Kondwera ndi mwamuna wanu wokondedwa kwambiri, wokondedwa, wokondedwa. Ndipo mavuto amtundu uliwonse alole kuti asiyane ndi inu ndikupita kutali mpaka kuiwala njira yobwerera. Ndipo iwo sadzakusokonezani inu ndi banja lanu losangalala.