Tiye kunena moona mtima: lingaliro lomwe timatha kutichitira nsanje munthu aliyense silingathe kupirira kwathu. Komabe, zomwe tingathe kuchitira nsanje, wokondedwa athu, timalola mofunitsitsa. Ndipo pamene timakana kwambiri kuti timatha kukhala ndi maganizo otsika, nthawi zambiri zimatizunza. Choncho, akatswiri a maganizo akulangiza, poyera, kusiya zonse zandale ndikukumbukira kuti kumverera kumeneku kunatipatsa ife mwachibadwa. Chifukwa chake chimatsatira chigamulo: pazifukwa zina, iye amafunikira izo. Mpaka pokha, tingathe kufanana ndi kugonana, pomwe tinadzilola tokha kuzindikira choonadi chosavuta: chilichonse chachilengedwe, osakhala ndi manyazi.
Vuto la kaduka linadetsa nkhawa akatswiri a nthawi ya Agiriki. Aristotle adafuna kudziwika kuti "mtundu wa gamut" wa kaduka - wakuda ndi woyera. Pachiyambi choyamba, chikhumbochi chili chachikulu: "Ndikufuna kuti mutaya zomwe muli nazo." Ichi ndi chitsanzo chachiwonongeko, kapena chakuda, kaduka. Pachifukwa chachiwiri: "Ndikufuna kukhala ndi zomwe muli nazo" - zomvekazo zimasintha kwambiri. Icho chiri kale maziko a nsanje zoyera, mpikisano. Pamapeto pake, ndi mtundu wa njiru yoyera yomwe imakhala injini yazinthu zambiri zamalonda ndipo imakhala maziko a mpikisano wathanzi ndi mpikisano.
Momwe mungamwe!
Monga zabwino sizilipo popanda choipa, nsanje yoyera ndi yopanda malire. Kapena ngakhale: kukhala wothandiza ndi wofunikira, nsanje ikhoza "kuphulika". Koma ngati mumapeza vuto la m'mimba, musathamangire kuti muchotse vutoli. Mofananamo, nkofunika "kuchitira" kaduka, kotero kuti amasintha mtundu wake kuchokera ku mdima mpaka kuunika. Ndipo izi ziri kwathunthu mkati mwa mphamvu zathu.
Imodzi mwa ntchito zodziwika kwambiri zomwe zimagonjetsedwa ndi vuto la kaduka, ndi za katswiri wa Chingerezi Melanie Klein. Mu bukhu lake, The Study of Envy and Gratitude, akunena kuti kumvetsa kwake kumadziwika mosadziwika kuyambira ali wakhanda mu ubale pakati pa mayi ndi mwana. Zikupezeka kuti mwanayo amakumana ndi zovuta zokhudzana ndi bere la amayi. Ku mbali imodzi, kwa iye izi ndizo chitonthozo, mtendere ndi chitetezo, ndiko kuti, zinthu zofunika kwambiri panthawiyo. Komabe, sangathe kuchita zonsezi ndipo ayenera kulira chifukwa cha zikhumbo zake. Potero, maziko a kaduka kuchokera pamalingaliro a psychology amayikidwa kwenikweni ndi madontho oyambirira a mkaka wa amayi. Koma zambiri, monga nthawi zonse, zimadalira amene analandira ubwana. Ndipotu maonekedwe a umunthu wathu amapangidwa pansi pa denga la makolo, ndipo vuto la kaduka silimodzimodzi.
Poyamba kuyambira ubwana
Chifukwa cha momwe mwanayo anakulira komanso mmene zinthu zinalili, chiduka chidzakhala ndi mawonekedwe ena. Mukakhala wokhutira kwambiri komanso wodzidalira kuti umakula, chizoloŵezi chodzidalira nokha ndikudalira ena, nsanje yochepa idzawonetsedwa mukakula.
Koma izi zimakhumudwitsa kuti makolo alibe chidwi chokwanira kwa mwanayo. Chitsanzo choyambirira: akuluakulu otanganidwa nthawi zonse amatenga mwanayo kuchokera ku kindergarten potsiriza. Pa nthawi yomweyi, amawona kuti amayi nthawi zonse amabwera nthawi ya Petya kapena Masha. Motero, nsanje ikhoza kuwonetsedwa mwachiwawa: "Makolo sangandichotsere monga Petya, ndipo ndikuthyola makina ake atsopano."
Kugwira ntchito ndikuthamanga kwambiri. Mwanayo amayamba kufotokozera kuti chilichonse chimene amachititsa nthawi yomweyo chimakwaniritsidwa, ndipo amatengera chitsanzo ichi kuti akhale wamkulu, pomwe akupitirizabe kuyembekezera kuti adzalandire phindu lake. Popeza palibe chonga ichi chimachitika, munthu amayamba kuchitira nsanje anthu olemera, monga momwe akuwonekera, chilengedwe. Kawirikawiri, vuto la kaduka ndilokuti mumalingaliro ena amakhala ngati makina osindikizira, omwe diso lake likuwonetsa chenicheni mwa njira yapadera.
Komabe, monga mukudziwa, sitisankha ubwana. Kotero pakubwera nthawi yomwe muyenera kudziyesa nokha, mwinamwake pali ngozi yoti mutembenukire kukhala mfumu kuchokera ku "Zozizwitsa Zachilendo," chifukwa chotsitsika poizoni pa khoti lake zimamupangitsa kukhala ndi chizolowezi chochokera kwa amalume ake.
Vanderbildiha idzaphulika!
Chifukwa cha kaduka kuchokera pa maganizo a psychology pali chinthu chimodzi chochititsa chidwi: timakhala achisoni okha omwe ali pafupi ndi bwalo lathu komanso moyo wathu. Ndipo ting'onozing'ono mtunda pakati pa ife ndi chinthu cha kaduka, zimakhala zoopsa kwambiri kuti chidziwitso chidzakula. Pambuyo pake, sitimasirira nee Princess Princess Caroline kapena Angelina Jolie! M'malo mwake, timatsata nkhani zawo, zomwe nthawi zonse zimatchulidwa ndi makina osindikizira, zomwe zimakhala zofanana ndi zomwe mu ubwana wawo amamvetsera nkhani za Cat zomwe zimachitika mu boti. Nyenyezi kwa ife - zilembo za dongosolo la fairytale, kukhala mu zofanana, zenizeni zongopeka.
Kodi simunganene chiyani za mkabuku wamkulu L. Komabe, ndi P., ndipo palibe Kamera Diaz, - gawo lofunikira pa moyo wathu. Pambuyo pake, anali iye, osati Hollywood diva, amene adakwera payekha pa ntchito ndipo adatenga malo omwe tinali nawo. Ndipo tsopano akuyendayenda pamakonde ndi maonekedwe otukwana.
Eyeshadow maso
Pa chikhalidwe cha anthu, khalidwe la anthu nthawi zambiri limakhala lachisoni - zoipa. Choncho, funsoli: "Kodi mumasirira?" - yankho lobwereza kawirikawiri: "Ayi, chabwino, ine sindikufuna choipa chilichonse."
Palibe amene angavomereze kuti akukudani. Komabe, kukhala chinthu chakumverera uku ndi koopsa kwambiri. Choncho, monga akunena, musadzutse. Samalani ndi zomwe simunalankhule za interlocutor yanu. Ngati, pamene akumvetsera, munthu amatseka: akuyang'ana patali, akudutsa manja ake, nkhani zokhutira ziyenera kuimitsidwa. Pamene, pakuyankhulana, interlocutor ndi "osakhala pakhomo", ndizo kuti inu mugawane gawo lokondweretsa pa moyo wanu, ili ndi nthawi yosinkhasinkha: kodi ndi mtundu wa bwenzi lomwe akufuna kuwonekera?
Inde, mukhoza kuyesa kuwononga cholinga chenicheni cha kaduka. Ndikudandaula kuti ntchito zatsopano zomwe zagwera pa inu pokhudzana ndi kukwezedwa mu ofesi, musasiye nthawi yanu. Ndipo panthawi imodzimodziyo, onetsetsani kuti mfundozo zifika pamakutu a olowa. Komabe, akatswiri a zamaganizo amatilimbikitsa kuti tisamangoganizira komanso kukhala osamala kwambiri: khalidweli timadzikonzekera mopanda kuzindikira.
Mungathe kupitanso mwachindunji ndi kumenyana ndi munthu wansanje. Popeza mukudziwa malo ake ofooka, mungathe kukhumudwitsa mwamuyaya, mwangozi kupita ku "calluses". Mwachitsanzo, ngati mumasirira maonekedwe anu ndi kupambana kwanu ndi anyamata kapena atsikana, mowolowa manja mugawana nawo nthawi yosangalatsa ya moyo wanu. Ndipo ngati munthu wampiru sakhala wolemedwa ndi mwamuna, yambani za zodabwitsa komanso gawo losavomerezeka la "nsalu za buluu". Lamulo la maganizo limagwira ntchito: zowonjezereka zomwe munthu amakhudzidwa nazo, zimakhala zovuta kusunga mzere wosankhidwa wa khalidwe. Ndipo mwayi wathu wopambana ukuwonjezeka. Komabe, njira iyi ndi yoyenera kwa iwo omwe amakondadi masewera a masewera osiyanasiyana. Ndipo ngati simukulowa mu chiwerengero chawo, ndi bwino kusunga mphamvu pa ntchito zowonjezera.
Njira ina ndiyo kuyesa kutalikirana ndi munthu wa nsanje m'malo mwa malo oteteza. Ndikutanthauza kuti, kubweretsa munthu uyu kupitirira malire a chidwi chanu. Mfundo siyikulitsa malingaliro oipa a mdani ndi mkwiyo wanu wokha, koma kuwatsutsa. Chitani nsanje ngati ... ku nyengo yoipa. Simungathe kukwiya pamene mvula imagwa, koma ingotenga ambulera nanu. Ngati n'zotheka kukhazikitsa mtunda wamkati ndi kuiwala za wodwalayo, ndiye chinthu chofunikira kwambiri chikuchitika: timasiya kukhala wokondedwa kwa iye.
Ndipo chofunika kwambiri: musaweruze munthu wansanje. Inde, kumverera kotere sikungatchedwe kokondweretsa, koma mwachilengedwe komanso mwachibadwa mwa anthu onse. Ndipo ndi zabwino kwambiri kuti mudziwe mmene mungayendetsere. Chifukwa, ngati mukuganiza za izo, njira ina yodzichitira nsanje ndi dziko la zojambula zosangalatsa. Anthu okhalamo ndi zolengedwa zonga robot zokhala ndi mwayi umodzi komanso maluso. Apa ndi pamene palibe malo a kaduka. Komabe, izi sizingakhale zolimbikitsa zina, sichoncho?
Masewera chifukwa chodziŵa kuti odwala omwe amatipempha samatsutsana nthawi zonse. Nthawi zina samangozindikira kuti chifukwa cha vuto lawo lamkati ndikumverera kotere. Pano pali chitsanzo chofotokozera: Msungwanayo adadandaula kuti mwamsanga amatopa ndi ntchito iliyonse - kaya ndi mapulojekiti atsopano kuntchito kapena kuvina. Ndipo ndi khalidwe labwino komanso labwino lomwe sangathe kukhala ndi ubale wautali ndi anthu. Ife tafika kumapeto kuti maziko a zomwe iye akukumana nazo ali ndi kaduka kopanda kudziwa. Pamene ali mu mtundu watsopano wa ntchito sakanatha kutenga malo otsogolera, anayamba kuyamba kumva chisoni ndi yemwe adapambana. Komanso anasiya ntchito. N'chimodzimodzinso ndi anzanu - nkhani zokhudzana ndi kupambana kwawo sizingatheke kwa iye. " Koma ngati nsanje - kumverera kopanda nzeru, ndiye, momwe mungachitire nayo?
Pezani ndi kulepheretsa!
Chizindikiro cha nsanje yomwe imanena mwa inu chingakhale kudziŵa kuti munthu wina amalepheretsa kusiyana ndi zotsatira za kupambana kwa anthu ena. Mwa kuyankhula kwina, pamene mwadzidzidzi mumagonjetsedwa ndi ntchentche kuchokera ku nkhani yokhudza momwe A. adagwirira ntchito yogula ku Milan, ndipo K. adaganiza kuti apange nyumba yatsopano, ndipo abwenzi ake akuwonekera nthawi yomweyo ndi zidakhwala zopanda pake zomwe "dziko lonse linayimba" ndipo inu-osasokonezeka, osatopa nyerere yonse, ndiye, mwinamwake, izi ndizo - mutu wa nkhani yathu.
Ndiyenera kunena kuti nsanje sizowononga zokhazokha komanso zowona, komanso za thanzi. Ndipo n'zotheka kuthetsa kaduka kukhala vuto lalikulu. Inde, mukhoza kusiya zonse monga momwe zilili, ndikuyembekeza kuti "pokhapokha mutha kukonza." Komabe, akatswiri a zamaganizo amanena kuti mavuto athu, omwe sitingapeze kulimba mtima kumvetsetsa, amawononga khalidwelo, ndikukakamiza kuona chilichonse chiri chakuda.
Choncho, ngati mutayambitsidwa ndi dzimbiri la kaduka, ndibwino kuti muchite masitepe mwamsanga. Ndipo woyamba mwa iwo ndi kuzindikira kuti munthu ayenera kukhala wansanje ndi phindu. Ngati, ndithudi, amaona kuti ndi chifukwa chokhalira opambana.
Choyamba, lekani kudzithamangitsa nokha "cholakwika" chokuchitikirani. Ngati izo ziri, ndiye kuti ndibwino kuzizindikira izo, pambuyo pa zonse, palibe yemwe amafuna kuti mulape poyera. Kumbukirani kuti kaduka ndikumverera mwachibadwa, ndizochilengedwe ndipo sichidalira munthu aliyense ndipo palibe chotheka. Atasiya kudzikhulupirira kuti "kaduka ndilo otayika", ayamba kutanthauzira maganizo kuchokera mu njira yosokoneza kukhala yabwino.
Mankhwala onse ali ndi vuto. Zingakhale zothandiza kulankhula ndi "chinthu chokhumba" pa zomwe zimayambitsa zotsatirazi kapena zina. Mnzanu wa ntchito mwamsangamsanga anawongolera? Koma taganizirani za nthawi yomwe mwakumana naye iye mwezi watha. Choncho, nthawi zina sizingakhale zopanda nzeru kudzifunsa funso ili: "Kodi ndifunikiradi kwa ine?" Ngati yankho limakhala lothandiza, ndiye kuti ndi koyenera kuchoka pa malo opita kuntchito.
Konzani zomwe mukuchitira nsanje, ndipo yesani mwayi wanu kuti mutenge zomwezo. Yesani kudziwa momwe mungapezere zotsatirazi. Ngati izi zikusowa maphunziro owonjezera, osonkhana malonda kapena mawonekedwe okonzeka bwino, muvomerezana, zonsezi ndizomwe zili mu mphamvu yanu.
Tsopano pitani ku bizinesi. Gawani pepala muzitsulo ziwiri. Poyamba, fotokozani zomwe zimakupangitsani nsanje. Pangani ndondomeko yowunikira pang'onopang'ono ndikuyiyika pambali yachiwiri. Komabe, nkofunika kutsutsa zilakolako zanu. Pamapeto pake, palibe zidule zomwe sizikuthandizani kupeza kukula ndi Naomi Campbell. Muziona zinthu moyenera!
Ngati maloto anu adakali olimba mtima, pali njira ziwiri zothetsera vutoli. Yoyamba ndiyo kuganizira mbali zanu zopambana, mutasiya kuyerekezera ndi wina. Yachiŵiri ndi yosamvetseka, njira ya Ellochka the Cannibal, pamene pofuna kugonjetsa "Vanderbildih wotembereredwa" kunali kofunikira kuti mubwezeretse kalulu ku kambuku la Shanghai. Ndipo kuchokera kuchinyengo chonyansa, pamenepo ndikumverera wokondwa. Ndipo pamene tikuyang'ana Ellochka monga thupi la "bimbo" lopanda nzeru, akatswiri a maganizo, mwa njira, akuwombera chitsanzo ichi cha pulasitiki ndi chidwi chachangu.
Ngati mukugonjetsedwa ndi nsanje yakuda, ndi bwino kuyesera kuti muziziritsa maganizo ndikuwongolera njira yolingalira. Tangoganizani kuti galimoto yatsopano ya mnzanuyo yabedwa. Kodi inuyo mumapindula ndi chiyani? Koma m'mbuyomo mukhoza kudalira galimoto yake ngati kuli kofunikira. Inde, izo zikuwoneka ngati zachinyengo. Koma nthawi zina kuti tipewe kumverera kosasangalatsa kwa ife ndikudziyendetsa yekha, ndi bwino kuchita machitidwe oyenererawa. Ndipo kuti muime mosalekeza, yerekezerani nokha ndi ena, kawirikawiri amatchula omwe amakukondani chifukwa cha inu.