Nanga bwanji ngati timakhumudwitse munthu mwiniwake? Mwadzidzidzi, ifenso timavutika ndi mphamvu zotsiriza, poopa kunena zoona, kuti tisakhumudwitse? Ndipo ndingatani kuti ndikonze izi? Kotero, njirayi: kaya ndinu wokondana wokambirana - mutu wa zokambirana za lero.
Malinga ndi akatswiri a zamaganizo, anthu onse, ngati timawaona ngati othandizira, amagawidwa m'magulu awiri ogwirizanitsa: interlocutor ndiwopambana komanso osagonjetsa, komanso ogwiritsira ntchito mafoni ndi othandizira. Potero, aliyense wa ife ali ndi makhalidwe awiri a kulankhulana, mu makonzedwe awiri. Mwachitsanzo, ngati ndinu munthu wodalirika komanso wodalirika, ndiye kuti simungathe kulankhulana bwino ndi munthu wolimba komanso wosadziwika.
Wopambana kapena wosadziwika?
Otsutsana nawo, samasokonezana ndi aliyense, ndipo ndithudi, anthu oterowo nthawi zina amapeza moyo wanu. Pakatha kamphindi kochepa mukulankhulana mumakhala ndi maganizo akuti interlocutor ndi "ochuluka kwambiri", zomwe mumawoneka kuti mukukumana ndi mavuto. Mukuyamba kuwonjezereka mtunda pakati pa inu, koma wogonjetsa wamkulu amayesetsa kuchepetsa. Momwemo ndi njira yolankhulirana ndi interlocutor yaikulu: yogwira, ogwira mtima, okhwima. Ngati akufunika kukuthandizani ndi chinachake, ndiye sakudera nkhaŵa ndi "sangathe", "yabwino-yosamvetsetseka" kapena "kumvetsa-samvetsa". Ngati mwadzidzidzi mudasowa kumufunsa funso, sizowona kuti iye akuganiza kuti nkofunika kuyankha. Pokambirana, wogwirizanitsa nthawi zonse amasokoneza, akudodometsa mokweza, mokweza mawu, kufuula kapena kulankhula naye sikungatheke. Nthawi zina amagwiritsa ntchito njira imodzi - amasiya kulankhula mwadzidzidzi, kukukakamizani kuti mubwereze mfundo zake mobwerezabwereza ndipo mumataya masomphenya, kaya mumamvekanso ndi interlocutor, kaya akukumvetsani. Zikuwoneka kuti simukupereka zifukwa zokwanira.
Monga momwe amasonyezera, kuyankhulana kwa mtundu umenewu mukulankhulana nthawi zambiri kumadzitonthoza kunyoza kapena kunyansa, sangalole kuti alakwitse. Ngakhale pamene akukutamandani, amavomereza mfundo zanu (nthawi zonse komanso maganizo), ndiye izi ndizonso mphamvu zake. Koma ngati mumalinso interlocutor yaikulu, zikhoza kukhala zovuta kwambiri. Pankhaniyi, zokambirana zanu zikhoza kuthetsa mkangano, mulimonsemo, zidzakhala zovuta kwambiri kuti mukhale osagwirizana. Koma komabe interlocutor yaikulu ili ndi ubwino wambiri. Iwo ali, monga lamulo, okamba bwino kwambiri, amatha kutsimikizira ndi kutsogolera. Amatha kupanga zosankha mofulumira ndikukhala ndi udindo pazochitikazo.
Interlocutor osagwira ntchito, monga momwe akudziwira, ndi chosiyana ndi mtundu wakalewo. Nthawi zonse amadziimba mlandu pamene kuli koyenera kutembenukira kwa wina, ndipo mwadzidzidzi funso lake lidzamveka mopusa kapena losayenera. Ndi bwino kukhala chete, kutchula ena mochepa ngati n'kotheka. Ngati inu mumacheza ndi munthu wina yemwe sali wolemekezeka, iye amayankha kwa inu nthawi yomweyo, kuti asakhumudwitse kapena kupsa mtima pang'ono. Zosangalatsa zoterozo zimalandiridwa ndi omwewo osagwirizana kwambiri. Komabe, ngati ndinu wamkulu, ndiye kuti njira yolankhuliranayi ingakuchititseni kukwiya. Mudzakhumudwitsidwa ndi kukhumudwa kwa wina, kuchitidwa manyazi nthawi zonse, kunjenjemera ndi kumvera kwathunthu. Pokhapokha ngati mwamtendere akukambirana (osati ndi wamkulu), interlocutor amakhala wolimba mtima, ngakhale nthawi zina amasokoneza ndi kuteteza maganizo ake. Kulankhulana ndi anthu omwe sali olemekezeka anali opindulitsa ngati n'kotheka, ayenera kulimbikitsidwa nthawi zonse, osati m'mawu, koma kumaso ndi kuyimira.
Mobile kapena yolimba?
Nthawi zambiri zimakhala zosavuta kuti munthu azitha kulankhulana pafoni ndipo zimakhala zosavuta kuchoka. Munthu woteroyo angasinthe mosavuta ku chinthu china chochititsa chidwi kwambiri, mwa maganizo anu, nthawi yosafunika. Mwadzidzidzi mumawona kuti maso a munthu amene akukufunirani mwadzidzidzi amakhala "opanda kanthu." The interlocutor mobile amasiyana ndi kulankhula mwamsanga, nthawi zina sizimveka bwino, ndipo nkhope yake imasintha ndi liwiro lodabwitsa. Kulankhulana kwa anthu omwe akukhala pafupi naye kumakhala kosavomerezeka, nthawi zonse amakuthamangitsani, amakusokonezani. Ngati simukudziwa momwe mungayankhulire momveka bwino, ndiye kuti simunayanjane naye, ndipo mungathe kubweretsa chisokonezo chamtundu wina. Adzasokonezeka, adzalumidwa, ayesetse kufika nthawi yayitali kapena kuyesa kumaliza chiganizocho.
Chinthu china n'chakuti oyankhulana ndi olimba. Amafuna mzimu wapadera kuti akambirane nanu. Ndipo, sizidalira khalidwe - lingakhale lokhazikika komanso lodzikweza. Chinthu chachikulu cha interlocutor cholimba ndi chokhazikika. Ngati akuganiza za chinachake pa nthawi yoyamba ya zokambirana zanu, ndiye kuti akusowa nthawi yochepa kuti aganizire. Koma iye adzakumverani mwatcheru, kulankhula mofulumira, kufotokoza maganizo ake ndi momwe adadza kwa iwo. Mawu ogwiritsidwa ntchito ogwiritsidwa ntchito molimba kwambiri monga momwe angathere. Nthawi zina mumakhala ndi malingaliro akuti interlocutor akuganiza kuti akumva akubwera pang'onopang'ono. Izi siziri chomwecho, anthu oterewa akhoza kubwereza mau ena kangapo pokhapokha pa zosangalatsa zawo. Musayambe kusokoneza interlocutor! Iye salola izi, ngakhale iye mwini sadzakulepheretsani inu konse. Kuyankhulana ndi munthu wolimba nthawi zambiri kumakhala kochititsa mantha, makamaka ngati muli ndi mafoni omwe mumakonda.
Otsutsana nawo, monga akunena, musasankhe. Koma mukutanthauzira kwa mitundu yawo nthawizonse zidzathandiza njirayo, zotsatira zabwino zomwe - kuyankhulana kwachibadwa ndi kukwaniritsa kusamvana. Ngakhale ndi osowa kwambiri omwe sagwiritsidwe ntchito nthawizonse sitingathe kupewa kulankhula, choncho chokhacho ndizosintha. Ndiponso: musatenge njira yolankhulirana ndi interlocutor ku akaunti yanu. Mu izi, monga akunena, "palibe munthu aliyense." Ndipotu, interlocutor wamkulu, kukweza mau ake ndi kusokoneza, sakufuna kukukhumudwitsani, ndi kukhwima, kubwereza chinthu chomwecho mobwerezabwereza, alibe kanthu pa inu nokha.