Munthu akayamba kumwa mowa, mwauchidakwa, mankhwala osokoneza bongo kapena njuga, izi sizongokhala vuto lake. Lolani ndi okondedwa ake: iwonso, akumva ululu ndi mantha. Koma kupatulapo iwo amayesa kupulumutsa wokondedwa, nthawi zambiri, mwatsoka, samapambana. Nthawi zina ngakhale kuyesa kumupulumutsa kumatsogolera kuwonongeko komaliza. Chavuta ndi chiyani? Mmene mungakhalire kuti muthandize munthu kudzipulumutsa yekha ku chizolowezi choyipa? Chofunika ndi chiyani, osati, sikoyenera kuchita?
1. Musatengere udindo wonse
Kudalira ndi matenda. Kawirikawiri pambaliyi, anthu ogwirizana kwambiri amatenga udindo wawo pa zotsatira za matendawa, chifukwa amakhulupirira kuti "sangathe kudzithandiza". Ndikofunika kukumbukira kuti chithandizo ndi thandizo n'zothandiza, koma kusuntha udindo wonse wochira sikuli. Simungathe kuthandiza munthu kupyola chikhumbo chake komanso chifuniro chake. Ngati mutadzigwira nokha ndikusunga, ndipo opulumutsidwa amatenga thandizo lanu, koma sachita kanthu kalikonse, ndiye chikhumbo chake kapena cholinga chake sichinayambe. N'zotheka kuti mutenge nokha kwambiri. Nthawi zina kuyembekezera kuti munthu alibe thandizo kumakhala chifukwa choti apitirize kuchita chizoloŵezi choipa pamene mukuchita "kupulumutsa". Musati muzigwira ntchito yonseyi, perekani chithandizo chomwe chili choyenera, chomwe sichichedwa, koma chikulitsa chifuniro cha wodalira, ndi zomwe mungachite. Kumbukirani mafilimu onena za "munthu woipa" (mwachitsanzo, "Afonya"): zotsatira zabwino sizikhala zofunikira mpaka munthu mwiniyo, chifukwa cha zinazake, sazindikira kufunika kogawana ndi kudalira kwake. Aliyense amene adzipeza yekha atha kumuthandiza yekha podziwa chidwi chake kuchiritsa. Apo ayi, thandizo la achibale lidzafanana ndi mawu otchuka kuchokera ku nkhani ya K. Chukovsky: "O, ndi ntchito yovuta: kukokera mvuu kuchokera kumtunda."
2. Sankhani mfundo zolondola
Kawirikawiri pokambirana ndi munthu wosokoneza bongo, sitikulankhula za zomwe zimativutitsa. Timasonyeza mkwiyo wathu ("kumwa monga nkhumba!"), Mkwiyo wawo ("Kodi abwenzi athu angaganize bwanji za ife?"). Koma zonse zokwiyitsa ndi kukwiya nthawi zambiri zimakhala zachiwiri. Ngati mumamvetsera mwatcheru, zimakhala kuti kumbuyo kwa maganizo anu ndi mantha aakulu. Tikuopa kutayika wokondedwa chifukwa cha kuwonongeka kwa thupi lake ndi / kapena umunthu, tikuopa mantha kuti tisawononge ubwenzi wathu. Popanda kuzindikira mantha athu, sitimayankhula za izo. Ndipo ndibwino kugawana ndi maganizo anu okhudzidwa: "Ndimawopa kwambiri, ndimamva ngati ndikusowa thandizo ndipo sindikudziwa choti ndichite. Ndine wokhumudwa kwambiri! "Mvetserani kuti mawuwa ndi mawu omwe amamveka mosiyana bwanji:" Ndamwa mowa, ngati nkhumba! "Ngati yachiwiri ikukwiyitsa ndikulakalaka kuyankha chimodzimodzi, ndiye choyamba ndikukhulupilira ndi kudzipereka. Kuchitira mwano iwe ungatsutse, koma motsutsana ndi malingaliro - ayi. Mmalo mowerenga nkhani za momwe kuledzera n'kovulaza thanzi komanso momwe zimakhalira zosasangalatsa kwa ife mu dziko lino, yamuyang'aneni ngati bwenzi, mwamuna, mnzanu, wachibale ndikugawana zakuchitikirani kwanu. Kulimbikitsana, kuwopseza, zolemba, zimawombera, monga malamulo, mikangano yambiri m'banja, pamene womaliza akupitirizabe kupereka chizoloŵezi chake. Kawirikawiri timamva ku adiresi yathu: "Sindimakonda, pita." Ndipo mwa njira zina izi ndi zolondola. Chifukwa aliyense ali ndi ufulu wosankha momwe angakhalire, makamaka, momwe angamwalire. Nthawi zina mumatha kupeza munthu kusintha moyo wawo, koma simungathe "kusangalala".
Chizolowezi choipa ndi njira yophweka yochotsera mavuto
3. Musanyoze umunthu wonse wa munthu wodalirika
Monga lamulo, osavomereza kudalira kwa munthu wapafupi, ndiko kuti, mbali imodzi chabe ya umunthu wake, timatsutsa umunthu wake wonse. Pamene munthu akudwala, nenani, ARD, timamuchitira munthu yekha, komanso matendawa mosiyana. Munthu akaledzera, timadalira anthu onse kuti: "Ndiwe wonyansa motere!" Munthu akadzudzulidwa, amayamba kudziteteza, kenako amanyodola, amakana kulankhula, komanso amatsenga.
4. Lemezani kulephera kwa chizoloŵezi choletsa msanga
Pambuyo pa chizoloŵezi chilichonse ndi vuto lina lamoyo, ndipo chizolowezi choledzeretsa chimangokhala njira yokhayo yopezera "vutoli," ngati mapiritsi a analgesic. Kudziwa wokondedwa wanu ku chizolowezi chake, inu mumamupangitsa kukhala woipitsitsa, chifukwa chaichi amamva ululu ndi mantha. Yesetsani kumvetsetsa chomwe chomwe chimayambitsa vuto lake, ndipo ngati n'kotheka kuthandizira kuthetsa izo.
5. Musasakanizirane kudalira ndi maubwenzi
Pali nthano yakuti "ngati achita izo (kapena ngati sangathe kusiya), ndiye kuti sakonda ine." Izi kawirikawiri amagwiritsidwa ntchito ndi anthu otseka monga osalankhula motsutsana ndi wodalira. Zoonadi, kusalankhula sikunakwaniritsidwe, chifukwa iwo amakhulupiriradi kuti chirichonse chimakhala chowongolera mwachindunji kwa iwo, ndipo amatenga zonse mwadzidzidzi. Ndipotu, kudalira, ngakhale kuti kukukhudzani, sikutanthauza kuchokera ku maganizo a chizoloŵezi kwa inu. Zomwe zimafunikira kuti munthu adzidalira nthawi zambiri zimayambira ali mwana. Choncho, ndikofunika kumvetsetsa ndikusakaniza: kudalira, kudalirana. Mtanda pa chiyanjano sungakhoze kukhazikitsidwa pokhapokha ngati pali kudalira paokha, koma pamene palibe chotsalira cha ubale wokha.
6. Muzizisamalira nokha
Kukhala pafupi ndi munthu wodalirika, timakumana ndi zochitika zambiri: mantha - kwa iye mwini, banja lake, mkwiyo, mkwiyo, ululu, chisoni, kusowa chiyembekezo, kudziimba mlandu komanso manyazi. Ndikofunika kukumbukira kuti ntchito yaikulu ya munthu sikuti imachiritse wina, koma kuti adzichiritse yekha, kuti adzithandize. Ndipo iyi ndi imodzi mwa njira zothetsera vutoli. Podzipindulitsa tokha, kukula ndi kukula mwa umunthu, nthawi zambiri timakokera pafupi. Zimakhala kuti tikangoganizira zochitika zathu, mwiniwakeyo "amadzidzimutsa" mwadzidzidzi.