Choyamba, m'pofunika kumvetsetsa vutolo ndikuvomereza moona mtima ngati ali wolondola. Atsikana ambiri nthawi zambiri amaganiza za funsoli: chochita ngati anyamata akuganiza kuti ndine wodetsa nkhaŵa, koma ali otsimikiza kuti ali ndi ufulu.
Mwatsoka, izi sizili choncho nthawi zonse. Ngati mnyamata ndi munthu wokhala ndi chikhalidwe cha Nordic, chofunika kwambiri kwa iye, padzakhala mtendere ndi nzeru za mtsikana yemwe nthawi zonse amatha kudzisunga yekha. Koma atsikana sangathe kuchita izi nthawi zambiri. Tiyenera kukumbukira kuti mnyamatayo amaganiza kuti mkazi wokongola ndiye mkazi yemwe amatha kumvetsera ndi kuthandizira kusankha motsogoleredwa ndi ubongo, osati kumverera. Inde, amuna samawonetsa kusowa kwawo kwa chithandizo chochokera kwa omwe ali ofooka, koma, komabe, amafunikira nthawi zambiri kuposa momwe timaganizira.
Kodi tingamvetse bwanji pamene mnyamata amalingalira kuti mtsikana sangakwanitse kulimbana naye? Choyamba, zimachitika ngati mkazi ayamba kupanga vuto popanda tsatanetsatane ndipo sangathe kumvetsera mwakachetechete zifukwa. Mnyamatayo amaganiza kuti mayiyo ndi mkazi wamantha, yemwe amayamba kutsegula zitseko, masamba, amamuuza kuti sakusowa konse, ndipo sangathe kupereka zifukwa zokwanira. Zoonadi, mu "ine ndinakhumudwitsidwa" ndi amayi ambiri zikuwoneka kuti akunena zinthu zomveka komanso zoyenera. Ndipotu izi ndi zolakwika. Mwachidziwikire, nthawi zina pamene mnyamata mwiniwake ali ndi matenda ena amanjenje ndipo amawona amatsenga ngakhale atanyozedwa pang'ono ndi mawu owonjezereka pang'ono. Zikatero, ngati mukutsimikiza kuti mukuchita bwino, muyenera kudzifunsa nokha: kodi maganizo awa ndi olandirika kwa ine ndipo ndingathe kukhala ndi munthu woteroyo? Zovuta, zimakhala zovuta kuganiza moyenera, chifukwa chikondi ndi kulingalira nthawi zambiri zimakhala zosiyana, komabe mukufunika kuganizira zotsatira za ubale wanu kuti zisakuvutitseni.
Mwa njira, kuti muzindikire ngati ndinu munthu wodetsa nkhaŵa m'chowonadi, ndibwino kumvetsera maganizo a ena ndikuwudziwa bwino ndi kumvetsa bwino. Ngati mukuganiza kuti anthu ambiri omwe ali pafupi ndi inu omwe amafunira zabwino, nkofunika kudziyang'anira nokha ndikuwerenganso khalidwe lanu. Kumbukirani kuti ngakhale mnyamata wodekha sangathe kuima tsiku limodzi ndikuyenda. Ndiyeno palibe pempho, kapena kufuula, kapena misonzi ingakuthandizeni.
Kuti mupewe chitukuko chotere cha zochitika, choyamba dziwani kudziletsa nokha. Ngati mumvetsetsa kuti simukukonda zomwe mnyamatayo adanena, musanene chinthu choyamba chimene chimabwera m'maganizo, ndipo musamve kulira. Ngati mumvetsetsa kuti simungathe kudziletsa nokha, pitani ku chipinda china, kufuula kwa iye "za inu nokha," kumasula maganizo ndikubweranso. Tsopano kuti mwakhala chete, ngakhale mnyamatayo sakunena zoona, mutha kukangana momasuka maganizo anu ndipo musamukakamize ndi kulira ndi kulira.
Komanso, musamachite chilichonse chimene simukuchikonda, mwa mawu akuti: Simukundikonda. Ndipo ndithudi simuyenera kukakamiza mnyamata kuti anene mawu amenewo. Amuna ambiri samakonda kulankhula kawirikawiri za chikondi chawo, koma povutitsidwa ndi zina zotero. Choncho, musanyoze mnyamata wanu chifukwa chosakukondani. Kumbukirani kuti chikondi sichinafanane ndi kumvera kwathunthu ndi kuvomereza. Munthu wokondedwa wanu ali ndi malingaliro ake enieni ndi kunena. Yesetsani kumvetsera ndi kumvetsetsa, ndipo ngati kusagwirizana kumalongosola momasuka malo anu.
Mwa njira, ndibwino kuti tizindikire kuti amatsenga ndi omwe amayipitsitsa kwambiri kwa anyamata omwe ali ndi khalidwe lokhazikika komanso khalidwe labwino. Anthu okonda samawasamala kwambiri amatsenga, chifukwa iwo omwe amafuna kupeza ubale pa matankhulidwe apamwamba pa chifukwa chirichonse. Koma anthu achizungu samakhala chete kwa nthawi yayitali, samanena zoipa kwa abwenzi awo, koma mu moyo wawo amapezera mkwiyo ndi kukhumudwa. Ndipo pamene izi zimadzaza chikho cha chipiliro, mnyamata wotero amasonyeza chirichonse (ndipo mwaukali iye amawopsya) ndi masamba. Mwa njira, simukuyenera kuimitsa mnyamata, ngati akunena kuti tsopano akungochoka kapena kwinakwake kuyenda yekha. Ndipotu, sangakusiye, koma akufuna kungochepetsanso mitsempha yake, osati kukuuzani chinachake chokhumudwitsa kapena chopweteka. Mukayamba kuimitsa mnyamata, kufuula, kunyenga, kupempha kuti mukhalepo, kuchotsa makiyi, jekete kapena jekete, zimakwiyitsa kwambiri, ndipo akuyamba kukukwiyirani kwambiri. Choncho, ziribe kanthu kuti mum'letsa bwanji, mutetezeni nokha kuti mumulole. Mwinamwake, mu pafupi maminiti makumi awiri adzabwerera mu chisangalalo chodala.
Komanso, amayi ambiri ayamba kufota mowa mwauchidakwa. Chowonadi ndi chakuti booze imapotoza malingaliro a zenizeni ndipo zimatipanga ife tonse hyperbolize. Choncho, ngati mukudziwa kuti mowa ukhoza kukupweteketsani, musamamwe kapena muzidzipangira mlingo umene sungakhale wovuta. Ganizirani, mutatha kumwa mowa kwambiri, mufuule ndi kufuula, ndipo kumbukirani izi. Kenaka mukhoza kuchepetsa kuledzera kwanu ndikukhalabe ndi maganizo abwino komanso kukumbukira bwino.
Inde, ngakhale mnyamata ataganiza kuti mkazi wake ndi wosokonezeka, akhoza kukhala ndi moyo wake wonse ndikulekerera khalidwe lake. Koma, ngati mumamukonda munthuyu, ganizirani za msampha ndi thanzi labwino zomwe amathera pazinthu zanu zopanda pake komanso kuti ndizovuta bwanji - muyenera kuchita chinachake ngati mnyamata akuganiza kuti ndinu wodetsedwa. Ichi ndi chomwe chiyenera kukhala chifukwa chachikulu chophunzirira momwe mungagwiritsire ntchito maganizo anu ndikuchita bwino pazochitika zilizonse. Mukachita izi, mukhoza kukhala mkazi wokondwa komanso wokondedwa m'dziko lino lapansi.