Inde, ngakhalenso zolemba zotsatizana pa mutu uwu sizimapanga, mosiyana ndi nthabwala za apongozi awo ndi apongozi awo.
Mwinamwake, chifukwa chibwenzi pakati pa mpongozi ndi apongozi ake nthawi zambiri chimapangidwa mwachisawawa kapena mokoma mtima.
Ku Russia, bambo mwiniyo anasankha mwana wa mkazi wake, chifukwa chake, pofika, apongozi ake sanamuchitire mpongozi wake - munthu wamkulu mnyumbamo anali mwamuna. Munthu wamkulu akukhalabe mu Russia wamakono. Ku Ukraine, mtundu wina wa chiyanjano cha banja: kulamulira kwa chikhalidwe chachikazi ndi chowonekeratu, chomwe chimatsimikiziridwa ngakhale ndi manthano. Kwa ife mkaziyo nthawi zambiri amayamba, mofanana, ndi mikangano pakati pa akazi a mibadwo yosiyana ndi ambiri. Amayi ake amanyalanyazana ndi apongozi ake, chifukwa amachitira mwana wake mwanjira yapadera (ngati bambo ake amamuchitira mwana wake). Ndipo, mwinamwake, mwamuna nthawi zambiri amatenga mbali ya mkazi mu mkangano ndi mpongozi wake?
Pa mgwirizano pakati pa apongozi awo ndi mpongozi wamng'ono, muli ndi udindo wotere: apongozi awo amatha kuchiza mpongozi wawo nthawi zambiri. Woyamba - ngati iye ali wotetezedwa, kuyesa kusangalatsa mkazi wake mu chirichonse. Wachiwiri - ngati apongozi ake ndi apongozi ake ali ndi zibwenzi zabwino, ndipo mpongozi wake amakhudza zofuna za apongozi ake. Kenaka apongozi ake adzateteza chinthu chake chamtengo wapatali kuchokera ku chisokonezo cha mkazi wamng'ono.
Ngati apongozi ake amakopeka ndi mpongozi wawo, koma sakuvomereza maganizo amenewa kuti adziŵe, chifukwa chiyanjano choterechi chimasokonezedwa ndi anthu ngati achibale osadziwika bwino - kukopa kwachidziwikire kudzawonetsedwa ndi mkwiyo ndi mkwiyo. Makamaka ngati mpongozi wake mwiniwakeyo amachititsa chidwi chilamule cha apongozi ake. Atsikana ambiri saganiza kuti apongozi awo ndi amuna, ndipo amathawa kuchokera kuchipinda chogona kupita ku bafa ndikuvala chovala chovala pamaliseche. Ngati mtsikana alibe bambo (makolo achotsedwa kapena bambo amakhala atatha kale), amamuyang'ana mu beetroot, ndipo mosadziŵa amanyengerera monga atsikana ambiri amachitira ndi papa.
Amadziŵa kuti ali ndi chidwi chake ndipo samabisira chiyanjano pakati pa apongozi ake ndi apongozi ake aang'ono. Inde, izo zimachitanso, ndipo sizodziwika kwambiri. Monga wothandizira a banja, ndikufuna kutsimikizira kuti zinthu zoterezi zikhoza kuchitika pokhapokha pazinthu zina zomwe zachitika m'banja, zomwe zimaphatikizapo banja laling'ono la achinyamata komanso banja lonse la banja. Kuchokera momwe apongozi ndi apongozi awo adagwirizanirana wina ndi mzake zaka zonse za moyo wawo pamodzi, momwe adakumana ndi mavuto a banja (kubadwa kwa mwana wamwamuna, kugonana kwake, nthawi ya kutha msinkhu, kuthawa kwake ku chisa)), amamva bwanji atasiyidwa okhaokha mwanayo anakulira. Kuchokera pa zonse izi zimadalira ngati apongozi angawonetsere mpongozi wamwamuna chidwi chake ndi ubale uliwonse wachikondi pakati pa apongozi ake ndi apongozi ake aang'ono.
Ngati apongozi ndi apongozi awo ali ndi mgwirizano wabwino, ngati atagwirizana kuti agone nawo limodzi, sizikutheka kuti anamutenga ndi mpongozi wake. Wachikuta, yemwe akulota kuthawa kumbali yakulimba kwa mkazi wodziteteza, angayang'ane mpongozi wake chabe chifukwa chotsutsa.
Kuwonjezera apo , ndikofunikira pa gawo liti la moyo ndi munthu mwiniyo. Mwinamwake kale anali ndi vuto la midlife, ndipo mwinamwake, ndilo gawo la abambo amasiye - zonse zimadalira mtundu wake wa kugonana, oyambirira kapena kutha msangamsanga. Chimake chimachepa?
Osati kokha komanso kuchepa kwakukulu, monga vuto la existential, kuzindikira kuti ukalamba sali patali, choncho imfa. Tiyerekeze kuti apongozi anu ali kale pachimake, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti akuyenera kudziwonetsera yekha ndi ena (kuphatikizapo mwana wake) kuti akadakali-kupita!
Kodi pali zovuta zotsutsana ndi mwanayo? Inde. Mbali imodzi, bamboyo amamuwona mwanayo ngati kupitiriza kwake mwiniwake ndikuganiza: popeza mwana wanga wamusankha mkazi uyu, ndiye kuti pali chinachake mwa iye. Mosiyana ndi apongozi ake, amatha kuyamikira malingaliro apamwamba komanso azachuma a mpongozi wawo, komanso makhalidwe ake achikazi. Kuonjezera apo, makolo amafunitsitsa kukwaniritsa maloto awo osakwaniritsidwa, moyo wosadziwika, kwa ana. Amayang'ana mpongozi wake ndikuganiza kuti: kodi angafune kukhala ndi mkazi wotere? Kapena mwinamwake mkazi wake anali monga choncho, koma zaka pafupifupi 30 zapitazo ... Pali pafupi ndi zoopsa ndi malingaliro pakati pa apongozi ake ndi mpongozi wamng'ono. Koma kodi bambo ake sachita mantha ndi mthunzi woonekera wa incest mu zochitika izi? Chirichonse chokhudzana ndi kugonana ndi achibale apamtima (mpongozi wake ali mwana wamkazi) ndizovuta kwambiri pakati pa anthu!
Komanso , m'mayiko ambiri pali malamulo ofanana a ubale pakati pa apongozi awo ndi mpongozi wamng'ono. Mwachitsanzo, ku Britain, maukwati pakati pa mkazi ndi apongozi ake anali oletsedwa mwalamulo, pamene mwamuna wakaleyo ali moyo. Chimodzimodzinso ndi maukwati pakati pa apongozi apongozi awo ndi apongozi awo. Koma posachedwapa banja limodzi, mwamuna wazaka 60 ndi mpongozi wake wamkazi wazaka 40, omwe anali ndi chikhumbo chokwatirana, anali olimbikira kwambiri mpaka kufika ku Khoti la Strasbourg ndipo adalandira chilolezo chokwatirana. Mwana wanga sanagwire ntchito ndi mkazi uyu, koma bambo anga ndi amayi ake anali abwino. Mwa njirayi, vutoli likuwonetsa mkhalidwe wotero, pamene mpongozi wakeyo akufikira apongozi ake. Mnyamata ndi lonjezo chabe, kansalu kakang'ono ka munthu, pomwe pafupi naye ndi munthu wopangidwa bwino, wodziwa bwino yemwe amadziwa zomwe akufuna kuchokera kwa mkazi ndi moyo. Pa mutu uwu pali filimu yodabwitsa "Kuwonongeka" ndi Juliette Binoche mu udindo waukulu - za chilakolako chomwe chachititsa kuti pulezidenti wamkulu wazaka zapakati ndi mkwatibwi wamwamuna wake apite. Nthawi yomweyo pafupi ndi zinthu zambiri.
Choyamba , kuti chilakolako cha kugonana ndi chiyanjano pakati pa apongozi awo ndi apongozi anu aang'ono (ngakhale angakhalepo) angakhalepo ndipo sakuwonetseredwa ndi munthu wokhala ndi chikhalidwe chochepa. Mwamuna wachikulire, atengeka ndi malingaliro ake, ali ndi mphamvu, ndi zoletsa zonse ndi zolemba, kuti adzifuule yekha kuti: "Mwana wanga akuyamba, ali ndi zonse zomwe zikuyandikira. Moyo wanga watha kale. Tsopano ndimakonda ndipo ndikufuna kuzindikira chikondi changa. Uwu ndiwo moyo wanga, ndipo palibe yemwe anganditeteze kuti ndikhale ndi moyo momwe ine ndikufunira. "
Chachiwiri, ndizo momwe ife tikufunira makolo athu. Kwa mwana wake, zochitika za atate ake zinali zodabwitsa, iye anadabwa kwambiri, ndipo sanathe kukhumudwitsidwa mwabwino, anadzipha. Tiyenera kukumbukira nthawi zonse kuti makolo ndi anthu ofanana ndi ife, amakhalanso ndi zofooka zawo, komanso amatha kukonda kwambiri. Zinachitika kwa ine tsopano kuti malemba okhudzana ndi apongozi awo ndi apongozi awo (ndipo, mwangozi, za apongozi awo ndi apongozi awo) sangathe kulembedwa chifukwa mutuwu ndi wopweteka kwambiri, komanso safuna kuseka.
Koma, mwinamwake , machitidwe ena "osafewa" omvera achifundo pakati pa abambo ndi apongozi awo amathakanso? Iwo, mwachitsanzo, angasonyeze zofunikanso. Ndikukumbukira mbiri ya mabwenzi ena. Mnyamatayo atabwera kunyumba kuti adziwe chibwenzi chake, adakonda kwambiri bambo anga. Iye anali munthu wophunzira kwambiri, pulofesa, atabalalika, akukwera kwamuyaya m'mitambo. Mkazi wake ankadzipereka yekha kunyumba, analibe nzeru zakuya, ndipo sanamvere zomwe zikuwoneka ngati.
N'zosadabwitsa kuti pulofesa adakonda mtsikana, wokongola, ndipo chofunikira kwambiri, msungwana wanzeru. Anakhala maola ambiri m'chipindamo ndikukambirana mavuto a kulumikizana, kudalirana kwa zikhalidwe zadziko - mwachidule, nkhani zomwe pulofesa sangathe kuyankhula ndi mkazi wake. Anamuuza mwana wake kuti mtsikanayo ndi wokongola, amamuyamikira. Ndikuganiza kuti ngati banjali litasweka, koma akwatirana, chibwenzi ndi mpongozi wa pulofesa chikanakhala chabwino, koma apongozi anga akhoza kukhala achisoni.
Chitsanzo china. M'banjamo pali "wodetsedwa": apongozi ake. Kale anali atasudzula mkazi wake, anagonana ndi amayi ake (ndipo tsopano amayi ake amakhala ndi apongozi ake, ndiko kuti, apongozi ake). Ndi mwana wake, munthuyu sagwirizananso. Koma kamodzi pa chaka, tsiku la kubadwa kwa mpongozi wake, nthawi zonse amapezeka pakhomo pake, atavala zovala, ndi maluwa ndi $ 100 ndalama mu envelopu.
Iye amalandira mphatso izi, ndi mwamuna wake onse amatanthauzira kukhala nthabwala - iwo amati, $ 100 salowerera konse. Ndikuganiza kuti zifukwa zogonana pakati pa apongozi awo ndi apongozi awo ndi osakaniza: pali chilakolako chokhumudwitsa achibale anga onse, ndi mpikisano ndi mwana wanga, ndipo, mwina, kuchitira chifundo apongozi ake. Tiyeni tibwerere ku kalata ya owerenga. Amapempha malangizo - momwe angakhalire, kuti mkangano usawonongeke ... Anthu nthawi zambiri amayesetsa kupewa mikangano, kukhulupirira kuti izi ndi zoipa. Komabe, mgwirizanowu ndi chiyanjano, ngakhale ndi chizindikiro chochepa. Ndikofunika kufotokoza ubalewu.
Choyamba , muyenera kukambirana nkhaniyi ndi mwamuna wanu. Zimene anachita zimadalira momwe ubale wawo ndi abambo awo zinakhazikitsidwira. Ngati akufuna kuti abambo ake azisangalala, adzakhumudwa ndipo, mwina, sadzakhulupirira mpongozi wake. Koma mulimonsemo ziyenera kukambirana. Kuwonjezera apo, nkoyenera kuyamba kumanga malire enieni - anu omwe ndi banja lanu laling'ono. Ali ndi ufulu womverera zomwe akumva, kuganiza zomwe akuganiza, kukhala moyo wake momwe akuwona kuti ndi koyenera, komanso osadziimba mlandu.
"Sindikukulemberani kanthu, koma inu simukumunamizira kanthu", izi ziyenera kukhala malo ake, panthawi yomweyi komanso pokhudzana ndi makolo a mwamuna wake komanso anthu ambiri. Mwina tiyenera kulankhula ndi apongozi ake enieni. Koma zonsezi - miyeso yochepa, muyenera kuumirira kuti mutha kukhazikitsidwa mosiyana.
Komabe, zonse zimadalira mtundu wa ubale m'banja. Komabe, nkhondoyo idzapindulitsa aliyense - chinachake chidzasintha, chidzayenda mosiyana. Sichinthu chanzeru kubisa mafupa mu chipinda - posachedwa kapena mtsogolo iwo adzafunikanso kukhala nawo.