Chikondi ndikumverera kuti, makamaka ali wamng'ono, sikuvuta kusokoneza ndi kuphatikiza zofanana. Ndipo kumverera mzere pakati pa chikondi chenicheni ndi "kudzipangira" n'kovuta, koma n'zotheka. Chikondi chenichenicho si nthano yomwe imayimba chikondi, osati maluwa a maluwa, mdima wokongola kapena dzuwa. Zimangokhala zokhumudwitsa. Chikondi sichiyenera kapena chosavuta. Munthu amene amakondadi chiyanjano ndi kusagwirizana, amakhulupirira mwachikondi wokondedwa wake. Anthu okonda mitima samasowa mawu oti alankhule pamtima. Mwachikondi, chikondi ndi mgwirizano wa anzanu awiri. Koma umunthu, wokhala ndi mtima wodzikonda komanso wodzikonda, ndizovuta kukonda zenizeni, izi m'mabuku awo zimachitika kawirikawiri.
Pali zizindikiro zingapo zomwe zingatheke kudziwa momwe mumamvera, kapena ayi.
1. Kukhudzidwa mtima kwakukulu. Kodi mukuzindikira kuti munthu wina, simukungofuna kunja. Kodi muli ndi chisangalalo chomwe chimadza pambuyo poyankhula ndi munthu uyu? Kodi mumamva mphamvu zowoneka m'maso mwake kapena kumwetulira? Ngati ndi choncho, ichi ndi chizindikiro chakumverera kwenikweni. Nthawi zina chikondi chimakhala ngati mphepo yamkuntho, yomwe imatha kukhala yovuta kwambiri, yomwe imakhala yoyendetsa. Koma, sangathe kuiwala kuti pali chinthu choterocho, koma, tsoka, kumangokhala kanthawi kochepa komwe kumangokhala kokhakopa kwa thupi, chilakolako chosalephereka cha munthu yemweyo yemwe mumayesa kumverera koteroko. Zisonyezero zoterozo ndizoyambirira pazoyamba, kuyamba chiyambi cha maubwenzi, koma zonsezi akadali kutali ndi chikondi.
Maganizo enieni ndi umodzi wa magalimoto atatu. Ndi umodzi, mgwirizano wa thupi ndi umodzi wa malingaliro. Izi zikutsatiranso kuti chikondi sichimangokhala pamagetsi. Mbali yauzimu ndi yofunika kwambiri apa. Izi, pamene inu mukukopeka osati ku fano ndi maonekedwe a osankhidwa anu, komanso kwa moyo wake, pafupi ndi iye, mumamva kuyanjana kwa miyoyo yanu, pamene muli kunja, muli bwino ndi bata. Ndipo inu, mukudziwa, kuti wosankhidwa wanu ali ndi zovuta zina zomwe mukuganiza kuti zikukonzekera, koma kenako, izi zikusonyeza kuti simumamudziwa momwe iye aliri, komanso akunena kuti palibe chikondi pa inu. Chifukwa, pokhala ndi chikondi chenicheni, simukuwona cholakwa chimodzi, ndipo mwa osankhidwa anu mumawakonda zonse, kuzinthu zochepa.
2. Maganizo osiyana. Pokhala ndi malingaliro enieni, amphamvu kwambiri, munthu ayamba kutsutsana mosiyana, mwa njira yosiyana kuyang'ana pa dziko, maso osiyana kwambiri. Chikondi chimapangitsa munthu kukhala wachimwemwe, wokondwa, chikondi, ngati "amamulimbikitsa". Mfundo ina, ngati munthu ayesa kuitana mnzanu kumverera, kupyolera mwachitsanzo, kuyitana kwa nsanje, izi zimasonyeza kuti palibe chikondi, ndipo pangakhale zilakolako zotero kuona momwe akumvera ndikukumana ndi mavuto ake, kuwonekera kwa malingaliro ake.
Ngati, inu mukukonda, ndiye mwa njira iliyonse mukhale otsimikiza kuti mukwaniritse izo zokha, kuti mukhale osangalatsa kwa osankhidwa kapena kwa osankhidwawo. Ndipo mu malingaliro anu nthawi zonse muli ndi zomwe mungapatse wokondedwa wanu, koma osati zomwe mukufuna kuti mumulandire. Munthu wachikondi weniweni ali wokonzekera ntchito yatsopano chifukwa cha wokondedwa wake, sayembekezera kuti afunsidwe za chirichonse, amaganizira zomwe angachite ndi momwe angachitire.
3. Chinthu chofunika kwambiri ndi kukhulupirira. Kodi muli ndi chilakolako, gawani ndi wina wina malingaliro, nkhani zina. Kapena, mwinamwake, mukufuna kumudalira munthuyu, kumangonena za chinthu china chofunikira? Khalani otsimikiza, kwa munthu uyu mumamva kumverera kokwanira. Kuyang'ana kwa chinthu chimene mumakonda ndi chofunikira kwa inu, ndipo nokha mungathe kuchita. Kuchokera kwa wokondedwa simungabise kalikonse, chifukwa mumamukhulupirira ndi mtima wonse. Ndipo ngati nthawi zambiri mumabisa chinachake kuchokera pa theka lanu, mukukhulupirira kuti mwina chinachake sichimvetsa, kapena kuganiza kuti pali zinthu zomwe sakufunikira kuzidziwa, zimangonena kuti simukudalira wokondedwa wanu . Ndipo ngati palibe chikhulupiliro, ndiye kuti sali wokondedwa, chifukwa chikondi chimamangidwa pa chidaliro. Wokondedwa ndi munthu wofunika kwambiri pamoyo wanu, ndipo ndi malangizo ake omwe ayenera kukhala ofunika kwambiri kwa inu.
4. Palibe kukayikira. Kotero kuti malo anu akutsutsidwa mwa njira iliyonse yomwe mungathe kusankha? Lembani zofooka mu khalidwe lake kapena khalidwe lake? Ndipo ndi zonsezi, kodi simukuganiziranso maganizo a anthu ozungulira? Khalani otsimikiza kuti muli ndikumverera kwakukulu. Munthu wachikondi amabweretsa wosankhidwa wake kukhala wangwiro, kwabwino, ndipo sipangakhale kukayika kulikonse kwa wokondedwa nthawi yomweyo.
Wokondedwa ndi munthu yemwe mumafuna kumuwona nthawi zonse, mumuthandize mwachikondi. Mukutsimikiza kuti munthu uyu ndi iyeyo, yemwe mwakhala mukumuyembekezera moyo wanu wonse.