Atsikanafe ndife zolengedwa zodabwitsa. Ndipo ziribe kanthu kuti amatiuza zochuluka bwanji za kufanana ndi kugwirizana, timakopeka ndi iwo omwe samawoneka ngati ife nkomwe, panopa ndi zaka. Mu ubale wathu ndi munthu, khalidwe lathu ndi makhalidwe ake ndizolakwa. Kuyambira pachiyambi, tidzakambirana ndi "zamorochki" zathu, zomwe tidziwonekere nthawi zambiri.
Akatswiri a zaumoyo akhala akunena kuti akazi, komanso amuna, ali ndi mitundu itatu ya chikhalidwe mu maubwenzi: amayi, mwana ndi mkazi (mkazi).
- Mayi - mkazi yemwe akufuna kuti akhale mtsogoleri mu chiyanjano, kumukakamiza wokondedwa wake ndi kuthetsa mavuto ake onse.
- Mwana wamkazi-sadzakhala konse mtsogoleri mu ubale, chikhumbo chake chachikulu mu chiyanjano ndikumverera chitetezo ndi chitonthozo, kudalira ndi mtima wonse kuti munthuyo mwiniyo adzathetsa mavuto onse.
- Mkazi ndi mkazi wokwanira, samasintha chisankho cha mafunso onse kwa munthuyo ndipo sichikuthandizani. Kulimbana ndi mgwirizano wofanana, kumene onse awiriwa amakhala ndi udindo pa chiyanjano.
Koma izi ndi mitundu yonyansa, palibe amene amalepheretsa kukhala kumbuyo kwa mwamuna, ngati kumbuyo kwa khoma lamwala komanso nthawi zina kukhala mtsogoleri pamene izi zikufunikanso. (Ndizofunika kuti munthu azithandizidwa nthawi zovuta). Ndipo musagawanitse anthu ku zabwino ndi zoipa - palibe zoterezi.
Kutsika ndi zozizwitsa!
Kuyanjana ndi munthu wamkulu, ngati kusiyana kwa zaka zikuwonekeratu, nthawi zambiri kumapangitsa kuti anthu ambiri asamvetsetse za "Wothandizira wopezeka," osati nthawi yoyamba yomwe mungamve? Koma sizinthu zonse zoipa, ndipo sitimvera abwenzi a nsanje, oyandikana nawo, ndipo timadza kumapeto kuti nthawi zambiri ubale ndi munthu wamkulu kuposa ife ndi kusankha kwathu komwe kumakhudza zosowa zathu zonse.
Tiyenera kukumbukira apa kuti ngati zaka za munthu ndi 1 chaka kapena 2 kuposa zanu - izi sizomwe zimasiyana pa msinkhu. Koma kwa zaka zitatu - ndizotheka kale kuganiza kuti iye ndi wamkulu kuposa inu. Malire apamwamba sali ochepa. Pano ndi "agogo" inu mukhoza kuyenda - osati "Papic". Chimachitika ndi zoterozo. Ngakhale tiyeni tichite zosagwirizana. Ubale ndi munthu wamkulu - ndi ubale weniweni ndi munthu wamkulu, ndipo palibe china. Ndi mabungwe ake onse ogulitsa, osakhala "abambo" ndi "agogo aamuna".
Bwanji osankha?
Kusankha zaka za munthu, kusankha "monga ngati" sitimapatula, koma tsopano sitiganizira:
Ndipo mwinamwake mlingo wa kudzidalira sikukulolani inu kuti mukhale okhutira ndi kuyenda molimba moyo. Kapena mwangofuna kungoiwala nkhawa zonse ndikukhala "ndi mwamuna."
Kapena mwinamwake ndinu mkazi wotukuka kwambiri, amene wakhala akuyembekeza kale zolinga ndi zolinga za moyo. Inu mukudziwa zomwe mukufuna, ndipo kukhutira kwenikweni kumapezeka kuchokera ku ubale ndi munthu wamkulu kuposa inu. Ngakhale kumpsompsona ndi kokoma, ndipo kukumbatirana kuli kolimba, wamng'ono kapena wofanana - izi sizomwe mungasankhe.
Mwamunayo ndi wamkulu
Iye, monga lamulo, anachitika mwa maganizo athu munthu yemwe mu moyo amakhala ndi bata. Ali ndi ntchito yomwe imapereka ndalama, zomwe zimakulolani kusunga nokha, komanso mkazi wanu komanso, mwina, mwana.
Zida ndi zosowa zathunthu, mabwenzi ena. Ndipo paliponse pamene mumayang'ana, mtendere uli paliponse. Komabe, munthu uyu sangafune kuti asinthe njira ya moyo. Adzavomera kukutenga pansi pa mapiko ake, koma mogwirizana ndi malamulo ake.
Zotsatira za ubale ndi munthu wamkulu:
- Wodziwa pa chilichonse, zomwe akukumana nazo zingakuthandizeni kusankha zolinga zanu za moyo, zochitika zogonana pano ndizofunika.
- Kukhala ndi maubwenzi. Iye anali ndi banja, iwo analekanitsa, ndipo munthu wanzeru sagwiranso kubwereza zolakwitsa, amayamikira chirichonse chomwe ali nacho, samakhumudwa pang'ono, ndi zina zotero.
- Mkhalidwe wina wa kupambana. Zinthu zakuthupi ndizowathandiza kuti azigwirizana kwambiri. Sitimaganizira tsopano amuna omwe amataika, amene apindula chirichonse m'moyo wawo, izi ndi zaka zokha. Iwo sayenera kutengedwa konse.
- Kudalira mtsogolo. Kusakhala ndi mantha m'moyo, chifukwa adzakuthandizani ndikukhalitsa kuthetsa vuto lanu.
Kuzindikira ntchito. Ubale ndi mwamuna wachikulire nthawi zambiri umatsimikizira kuti moyo wanu ukhoza kukhala mu dongosolo labwino lomwe silingatheke. Mwamuna wamkulu, komanso mtsikana pafupi naye, sadzataya ndalama kapena kuchita zinthu zopupuluma, chifukwa udindo umabwera ndi zaka, chirichonse chimene anganene.
Posankha akazi awo, zinthu zofunika kwambiri zimayikidwa motsatira khalidwe. Koma izi sizikutanthauza kuti mawu akuti "tsitsi", "kuchotsa tsitsi", "kudzipangira tsitsi" amapita kutali kwambiri ndipo ali ndi fumbi. Koma ndithudi mu ubale, pamene munthu wamkulu, mukumva ngati munthu, osati mtsikana, ngakhale mumakonda.
Kuipa kwa ubale ndi munthu wamkulu kuposa:
- Zomwezo zomwezo. Ana ochokera ku ubale wapitalo, makamaka ngati akhala naye. Osati kumasulidwa kwathunthu mgwirizano wapitalo udzakhala woyerekeza pakati pa iwe ndi iye - ndipo apa ndizosangalatsa pang'ono. Ndipo ngati ena mwa njira zake amakhalabe m'moyo wake, mudzakhala ndikumverera kuti muli pachibwenzi ndi atatu. Inde, izi zimadalira munthuyo ndipo amakonzedwa ndi nthawi.
- Ngati mumamudalira ndipo nthawizonse amakhala wolondola, nthawi zonse amakhala wolondola. Nthawi zina zimapangitsa kuti mukhale osasamala.
- Malingana ndi msinkhu wanu ndi zaka zanu, amuna akhoza kukhala ndi zosowa zosiyana. Ngati mumakonda kupita kuvina kamodzi pa mwezi, mudzadabwa kuona kuti satero. Nthawi zonse mu chiyanjano ndi munthu wachikulire muyenera kuganiza mtsogolo - mwinamwake tsopano mulibe kusiyana koteroko, koma pakapita nthawi chifukwa cha zaka zomwe zingawoneke.
- Ntchito ndi bata nthawi zambiri zimapangitsa amuna otere kumangiriridwa kuntchito, malo ogwirira ntchito. Kutha kwa mlungu umodzi mumzinda wina sikugwira ntchito. Kusiyanitsa ndi anthu akuluakulu amalonda omwe amachita bizinesi pa foni, ndipo ndege yawo ikhoza kukutengerani kumapeto kwa dziko lapansi, koma timalingalira munthu wamba.
Makhalidwe a khalidwe lanu pochita ndi munthu wamkulu:
"Ayenera kukhala odalirika kuposa munthu wina aliyense." Musati muzitsutsa maziko ake a kukhalako, opindula pa zaka zake. Ngati mwamusankha, ndiye kuti ndi bwino, chabwino?
- Ganizirani chifukwa chake anakusankhani, wamng'ono kuposa iye, mwina ngakhale wamng'ono. Chifukwa ichi chiyenera kusungidwa nthawi zonse.
- Pangani. Pamene munthu wamkulu, nthawi zambiri amakhala okonzeka kuyesa zofuna za moyo wanu ndikukuthandizani. Mwamuna wamkulu adzakhala wokondweretsa kwambiri ndi mtsikana yemwe ali ndi dziko lake, momwe amamangapo moyo wake pang'onopang'ono. Inde, pali dziko lino lapansi, koma pa dzikoli siliyenera kutsekedwa konse. Amuna enieni (a m'badwo uliwonse) samakonda izi.
Malangizo othandiza kwa omwe mwadzidzidzi anaganiza kuti ubale ndi mwamuna wachikulire uyenera kukhala:
- Samalirani osati kusiyana kwa zaka, koma kwa msinkhu wanu ndi msinkhu wanu, monga momwe zaka zimasiyanasiyana. Nenani, ngati muli ndi zaka 18, ndipo ali ndi zaka 25, ndiye kuti ndizosokoneza, ndipo ngati muli ndi zaka 35, ndipo ali ndi zaka 42, ndiye kuti ndizochepa chabe pamsewu, zomwe zingadutse mosavuta.
- Kambiranani nkhaniyi ndi mwamuna kumayambiriro kwa chiyanjano chanu kotero kuti kusakhutira kwanu kapena kukayikira sikukhala chinthu chodabwitsa kwa onse awiri. Dziwani kuti pali kusiyana pakati pa zaka, ndipo zidzakhudza ubale. Ganizirani ndi kusankha zomwe mungachite. Ndikofunika kukambirana ndikukambirana nkhanizi palimodzi.
- Ngati mumasankha munthu, yesani, osadutsa zaka za ndodoyo. Kupanda kutero, zikhoza kukuthandizani kuti mukwaniritse zofuna zanu, zomwe zingakhale ngati mgwirizano wogwirizana: zimakwaniritsa zosowa zanu zazakhazikika, mwachitsanzo, ndipo inu, mwachitsanzo, mumasowa mkazi wake m'moyo - pambuyo pake, ambiri amakhulupirira, kotero ndikofunikira. Awa ndi malangizo kwa iwo omwe patsogolo ndikumverera, osati kuwerengera.
Tsopano tikudziwa ngati pali kusiyana pakati pa msinkhu ndipo mwamuna ndi wamkulu kuposa mkazi, ubwino ndi chiopsezo chaukwati. Aliyense wanena kanthu, koma aliyense wa ife - kwenikweni, mwana wamng'ono amene amakhala m'dziko limene munthu amafunikira kukhala wamkulu. Mwina ubale ndi mwamuna ndi wokalamba ndipo pali mwayi wanu, pamene mwanayo akhoza kugona mu chisamaliro ndi chitetezo, mtendere ndi bata. Ngati mutasintha munthu woterewa, musamamvere zilankhulo zoipa zomwe zingakuchititseni manyazi. Werenganinso nkhaniyi ndi mtsogolo, mutatha kukutsogolerani munthu, mu tsogolo losangalatsa.