Kusakhutitsidwa kugonana kungakhale vuto lalikulu pamoyo. Pakapita nthawi, mkazi amatha kukhala wamwano kapena wamwano, wovuta komanso wosasangalala. Maganizo a dona uyu ndi omveka. Thupi lake limamufunsa za zomwe sapeza pa zonse-detente. Wokhutira ndi mkazi wogonana, mosiyana, nthawi zonse mokondwa ndi mokondwera. Mabanja ambiri okwatirana mosangalala chifukwa cha kugonana kokha, khalidwe lomwe limagwirizana onse awiri.
Azimayi ambiri amakhulupirira kuti "zozizira" pa bedi zimadalira pa "ntchito" ya wokondedwayo. Mwamwayi, ichi ndi chisokonezo chakuya, ndipo sizowononga kusuntha chirichonse ku mapewa a munthu. Koma kodi mkazi angachite chiyani ndiye? Kuti mukhale osangalala ndi zosangalatsa - chirichonse!
Tiyeni tiwone chifukwa chake kuyerekezera kuyembekezera sikubwera. Pali zifukwa zambiri. Choyamba, zakuthupi. Kutopa, kukangana kwamantha, gawo la msambo, msinkhu wa chisangalalo musanayambe kugonana, ndi zina zotero. - zonsezi zingakhudze kupezeka kwa ziwalo kapena kusakhalapo kwake. Ndiyenera kunena kuti chisangalalo choyamba cha mkazi chimatenga pafupifupi mphindi 40, thupi lachikazi silingathe kuwonana ndi nthawi ino. Pa nthawi yomweyi, amuna ena amatha kuthetsa nkhawa zawo mu mphindi 15, ndipo ndizokwanira. Amayi ambiri, ngakhale atakhala ndi moyo kwa zaka zingapo, samayesetsa kuti amuuze wokondedwayo kuti sakupeza kukongola kwachitsulo chogonana. Monga tinaphunzitsidwa kuti tiyankhule muubwana, sikuli bwino kunyengerera, choncho, tikuyenera kukuuzani za zomwe mukukumana nazo, mnzanuyo. Mlingo wa kukhulupilira, kunena momasuka ndi chiyanjano ndi mbali yofunikira mu chiyanjano. Ngati amakukondani, amakufunsani vutoli, mofanana ndi momwe mukufuna kukhazikitsira. Inde, sikungakhale kosangalatsa kwa iye, kuti mwakhala chete kwa nthawi yaitali kapena mwatsatanetsatane chiwonongeko (amayi ambiri amachita tchimo ili, ndi kuwononga kwawo). Koma kudzipereka kwanu kumangokuyandikitsani. Ndipo ngati iye sakukhutira ndi zokambirana zake, muyenera kuganizira chifukwa chake mukufunikira munthu woteroyo?
Chachiwiri, vuto likhoza kukhala mu ndege ya maganizo ndi mkhalidwe wa malingaliro. Chofunika kwambiri chikhoza kukhala kusintha kwa wokondedwa, kupereka choyamba pa zosangalatsa zake, komanso kuti asamangokhalira kumaliza. Mwinamwake, kukambirana momasuka n'kofunika, pomwe padzakhala zovuta kapena zobisika. Zikhoza kukhala kuti mkazi ndi wodzichepetsa ndipo, motero, amamveka. Mwinamwake malingaliro ochuluka kwambiri pa "ndondomeko yoyenera". Izi zikugwiritsidwa ntchito makamaka pa gawo loyamba la chiyanjano. Mzimayi akufuna kukonda, kugona pansi, kugona ndi zina zotero, amada nkhawa ndi momwe chifaniziro chake chimagwirizana ndi miyezo ya kukongola, chifukwa amathera nthawi yochuluka komanso khama kuti adzisinthe yekha. Ndipo nkofunika kuti mukhale osangalala ndikudzipereka nokha ku malingaliro anu ndi chilakolako chanu, chomwe chimakupangitsani kugona. Ndipotu, ngati zokhudzana ndi kugonana, ndiye kuti mumakonda kale mnzanuyo. Kumbukirani kanema "Bridget Jones Diary," nthawi yomwe amapeza "zovala" zake zazikulu. Iye sanathamangitse, sanachite mantha, mosiyana ndi izo zinabweretsa anyamata pamodzi, ndipo kwa iye yekha izi zinakhala zoonekera zina mwa mtsikana yemwe adamukonda.
Ndipo potsiriza, gawo limodzi mwa magawo ofunika kwambiri pa kukhutira kugonana, amayi ndi abambo, ndi nthano kuti khalidwe la kugonana limadalira teknoloji. Nthano yakuti kudziwa chibadwa cha thupi lachimuna ndi chachikazi, chidziwitso cha malo osokonezeka ndi mfundo, zimapereka zotsatira zoyenera. Ichi ndi chinyengo champhamvu, chifukwa kugonana kumayambiriro ndi kugwirizana, chidziwitso, kukhulupirirana, kuvomereza wokondedwa ndi thupi lake. Ngati mumayang'ana kugonana mwangwiro kuchokera pazowunikira, mungathe kuwononga ubwenzi wa uzimu, kuwononga chikhalidwe cha chikondi ndi chikondi.
Kusakhutitsidwa kwa mkazi wogonana, choti achite? Pa awiri omwe mulibe kugwirizana pakati pa kugonana, makangano amayamba. Kuwonjezereka kwaukali, mkwiyo, mkwiyo ukuwonjezeka. Zifukwa zimapangidwira kuti zikhale zovomerezeka, kuchokera ku mikangano yowonjezerayi ndipo motero zimakhala zotsutsana kwambiri. Winawake amakumana ndi izi mwiniwake, wina akutembenukira kwa katswiri - katswiri wa zamaganizo, wogonana ndi amuna, etc. Ngati mutatha kukambirana momveka bwino, mutasuka nthawi zonse ndikumasula mutu ku malingaliro osafunika, zotsatira zomwe mukuzifuna sizigwira ntchito kwa nthawi yaitali, mwinamwake sizomwe mukufuna? Simukusowa kukonza munthu yemwe sagwirizane nawe pabedi, mwamuna yemwe angangoganizira zokhazokha ndi zofuna zake. Munthu wotero, osachepera iwe si woyenera. Ndipo ndithudi, sadakonzedweratu kwa inu.