Momwe mungayanjanitsire ndi okondedwa anu?
Ndikofunika kusankha mawu oyanjanitsa. Ngati mutayamba ndi mawu akuti: "Tiyeni tiwone, koma ndikuganiza kuti mukulakwitsa," kapena "Chabwino, zokwanira kuti mukhumudwitse, ndizolakwa zanu," ndiye kuti mutha kuyambitsa mikangano yachiwiri.
Ngati mukufunadi, musadziwe kuti ndi ndani yemwe ali woyenera komanso yemwe ali ndi mlandu, ngakhale mukufuna kudziwa. Ndi bwino kukambilana izi pambuyo pa chigamulo, pamene chikumbumtima chimakhala chabwino. Mfundo yofunikira ndi yakuti chidwi chiyenera kuganizira vuto, osati pa umunthu.
Kodi mungayambitse bwanji chiyanjanitso?
Ndi bwino kuyamba ndi choonadi, auzeni wokondedwa wanu zokhudzana ndi zomwe mumakumana nazo ndikumverera: "Tiyeni tizipange, sizowoneka ngati zosavuta kwa ine tikamalankhulana" kapena "sindikufuna kutsutsana nanu". Musamanyoze mnyamata wanu mu chirichonse, koma mumangonena za zofuna zanu ndi zomwe mumamva. Musaiwale pa nthawi yomweyi kuti mukufunika kumanga maubwenzi anu, osati "kugonjetsa" mnzanuyo.
Pamene wokondedwa sakuyankhulana
Tonse ndife anthu osiyana. Aliyense wa ife ali ndi khalidwe lake, khalidwe lake, aliyense ali ndi ufulu womvetsetsa ndi maganizo ake. Ngati, mwachitsanzo, wasiya kukangana ndipo mukufuna kuyanjanitsa, koma wokondedwa sadakonzere izi, ndiye musati mutengere khalidwe lake. Akungofuna nthawi yambiri kuti aone zomwe zikuchitika. Muyenera kukhala opirira komanso kuyembekezera.
Kodi n'zotheka kuthetsa mkangano?
Ngati mukumva kuti kukangana kenanso ndiko kucha, ndipo simusowa konse, yesani kuvomereza maganizo a munthu wanu. Ndipo ngakhale atalakwa, mumavomereza naye, kotero mudzatha kupewa mkangano. M'tsogolomu mudzabwerera kukakambirana nkhani inayake pamene wokondedwa wanu ali ndi maganizo osiyana. Koma, ngati kulibe kwina kulikonse, ndipo zokambirana zayamba kale, lankhulani momwenso, tilankhulani wina ndi mnzake, izi zidzakuthandizani kumvedwa. Ngati anthu ayamba kusokonezana wina ndi mnzake, "kutentha" kumatuluka, ndiye kuti onse awiri amapfuula, amamva okha, ndipo samamvana.
Pamene mikangano imakhala nthawi zambiri, kambiranani ndi wokondedwa wanu za mawu. Mwachitsanzo, mukamaganiza kuti kukambirana kukuwonjezereka, ndiye kuti mmodzi wa inu ayenera kutchula mawu omwe apangidwa kale. Zitha kukhala chirichonse: "giraffe", "mtengo", "nyumba" ndi zina zotero. Mawu awa adzatanthawuza kuti muyenera kumasula nthunzi ndi "kuzizira".
Njira ina yosunga ubale ndi kukambirana modekha ndikumvetsetsa kwa umphumphu ndi umodzi. Fotokozani kwa mnzanuyo kuti ndinu amodzi pamodzi, ndi kuti vuto liri kunja kwa inu. Chinthu chachikulu, pamene mukukambirana kukhala chete, simukusowa kupereka vuto kuti mutenge ndalama zanu zonse ndikuziphwasula. Pereka kwa wina ndi mzake, fufuzani yankho logwirizana, ndiyeno vuto lidzakusiyani.
Nthawi zambiri mikangano
Pano iwe uyenera kudziwa chifukwa cha kukangana. Iwo akhoza kukhala osiyana, kuchokera ku mkwiyo wopanda tsankho, kusakhulupirirana, zizoloŵezi zoipa, chikhumbo chokambirana wina ndi mzake ndi zina zotero. Koma vuto lalikulu ndi pamene wokondedwa wina sagwirizana ndi maganizo a winayo. Izi zikufotokozedwa mu mkangano wovuta kapena mwa chete. Chifukwa chake, abwenzi amasiya kukambirana mfundo zomwe zinayambitsa mkangano. Koma iyi si njira yothetsera vutoli, imangokhalirana kukhulupirirana, imakulitsa mkwiyo, komabe aliyense amachita zonse mwa njira yake. Ndikofunika kuphunzira kuthetsa mavuto mwatsatanetsatane komanso mwamtendere, ndiye sipadzakhalanso tsankho. Kumvetsetsa zomwe zimayambira komanso maziko a chiyambi chake komanso muphungu kwambiri muyenera kuwononga vutoli.
Mikangano m'banja ndi izi?
Pali nthano yakuti, mwabwino, mabanja amphamvu sagwirizana. Koma izi sizimachitike, chifukwa munthu aliyense ali ndi malingaliro pa chirichonse. Muyenera kumvetsera wokondedwa wanu, yesetsani "kuyesa" maganizo ake, kumvetsana, kupereka mpata wolankhula ndikubwera ku chipembedzo china. Tsopano tikudziwa momwe tingakhalire mwamtendere ndi wokondedwa wanu. Ndikofunika kuphunzira momwe mungaperekere. Ndiye umodzi wa kumverera kwachikazi ndi kumvetsetsa kwaumunthu kudzathandiza kuona vutoli mwanjira yatsopano, ndi kupeza njira yodalirika.