Mbiriyakale ya chitukuko cha munthu aliyense ndi yapadera, ndipo m'mbuyomo zinsinsizo zabisika zomwe zingakhudze momwe munthu angapulumutsidwe mosavuta kapena kutsutsa kudzidalira kwake. Amuna ambiri sali okonzeka kulekerera ziphuphu zazimayi. Ndipo ngati sasiya banja, amasiya chikondi. Mmalo mosonyeza chikondi kwa mkazi wake, amakonda kupatula nthawi m'galimoto, palimodzi ndi abwenzi kapena pa masewera a mpira. Kupewa chikondi sikuli nthawi zonse thupi, nthawi zina ndiko kuchoka ku mtundu wina wamakhalidwe abwino, kupita kudziko lina komwe khomo la mkazi wake laletsedwa. Izi zikhoza kukhala masewera a pakompyuta, mowa, malemba pambali kapena masewera mu casino.
Kuti mumvetse zomwe zili zofunika kwambiri kwa munthu: kudzikonda nokha kapena chikondi, poyang'anitsitsa maubwenzi ake m'banja. Ngati makolowo anali osiyana kwambiri ndi mwana wawo wamwamuna, amadzikweza kwambiri, amatha kuyang'ana mkazi yemwe mosadziwa amamuyesa. Amuna amene amatha kukhululukira akazi awo kapena okonda kudzidalira okha nthawi zambiri sangathe kuvomereza chikondi chosadziwika.
Chikondi chosayenerera ndi maziko ofunika mgwirizano wathanzi m'banja. Uwu ndiye chikondi chapamwamba kwambiri, pafupifupi luso, limene, mwatsoka, liri ndi ochepa. Kodi ndimamva kangati kuchokera kwa makolo athu: "Ngati mutapeza msuzi, musabwere kunyumba." Kapena: "Muyese, mwana wanga sangathe kufika kumapeto pa mpikisano wachiwiri". Mawu awa akhoza kupweteka aliyense, ngakhale psyche kwambiri. Ndipo pamene munthu wotereyo amakhala wamkulu, ngakhale amadana ndi mawu oterewa, mosadziwa amatha kuyang'ana mnzawo amene angathenso kuwatchula. Zinthu zokha zomwe ziyenera kukwaniritsidwa zimasintha kuti mupeze chikondi. "Popanda malipiro, musabwere kunyumba," mkaziyo akuti kwa mwamuna woteroyo. Ndiyeno akudabwa chifukwa chake amakayikira chikondi chake.
Motero, tingathe kusiyanitsa chikondi chosagwirizana ndi chikondi chokhazikika. Chikondi chopanda malire sichifuna khama kulichirikiza, sikuyenera kuyenera. Ngati mkazi akonda mwamuna mosagwirizana, amamulandira monga momwe alili. Wodwala kapena wathanzi, wolemera kapena wosauka, wachikondi kapena wokwiya. Iye samayesera kusintha izo, kuti aziphunzitsanso, osati kuti azikhazikitsa zikhalidwe. Ngati mzimayi nthawi zonse amawombera mwamuna wake ndi zikhalidwe zosiyanasiyana, amamudzudzula, kuwononga kudzidalira kwake ndi kudzidalira, tikulimbana ndi chikondi chokhazikika.
Ndiyenera kunena kuti anthu onse akuyesera zabwino. Ndipo ngati mkazi awona zizindikiro za wothandizira kapena wodzudzula yekha, ayenera kulingalira za kusintha maganizo ake pa ubale ndi mwamuna wake wokondedwa. Ngakhale munthu wochokera m'banja lovutitsidwa, wokhala ndi zifukwa komanso kutsutsa nthawi zonse, tsiku lina angazindikire kuti watopa ndi zonsezi. Ndiyeno maubwenzi angathe kutha.
Nzosadabwitsa nambala ya amuna "akuwona" ali ndi zaka makumi anayi. Amasiya akazi awo kupita ku "opusa" omwe amawayang'ana, kutsegula pakamwa pawo. Kupembedza moyenera, kulemekeza ulamuliro kwa mwamuna ndikofunika kwambiri kusiyana ndi ubale uliwonse womwe mkazi amauzidwa nawo uli wovuta kwambiri.
Mkazi yemwe akufuna kupeŵa mavuto ngati amenewa ndi mwamuna wake ayenera kuganizira momwe amalankhulira ndi iye, mukulankhula kwake kuti amavomereze kapena kuvomereza, mwa mtundu wanji umene akulengeza kuti apempha. Ndicho chifukwa chake pakuwoneka ngati kosavulaza, pakuyamba, zopempha za amuna nthawi zambiri zimakwiya? Chifukwa kawirikawiri pampempha kuti apite ku sitolo ndi kugula mbatata amuna amamva chitonzo kuti samatenga chisamaliro chokwanira cha banja. Kudzidalira nokha kwa munthu kumakhala koyipa kwambiri pa ubale wa banja.
Pali njira ziwiri zoyankhulirana zomwe zingakuthandizeni kupeŵa mavuto ndi kunyada kwa amuna.
Choyamba, akatswiri oganiza zamaganizo amalimbikitsa mmalo modzudzulidwa kuti ayamike. Pambuyo pake, palibe chovuta mmalo mwa: "Chotsani zitsulo", nenani: "Pamene mutulutsa zinyalala, ndimamva m'mwamba chisanu ndi chiwiri cha chisangalalo / ofooka / ofunikira / okondedwa." Zomwe mungakonze pa nkhaniyi sizingagwire ntchito, kotero poyambira, lembani zonse zomwe mumapempha mwamuna wanu pamapepala ndikuzikonza osati monga pempho kapena zofunidwa, koma monga chiyamiko.
Chachiwiri, osati pa zochitika ndi zopempha, yesetsani kuyankhula mobwerezabwereza kwa mwamuna wanu za momwe mulili ndi iye. Nenani kuti mumayamikira chisamaliro cha banja, kukusamalirani nokha, kuthetsa mavuto a tsiku ndi tsiku ndi a zachuma. Ngati mumanyalanyaza vuto lalikulu, koma mutamandire kupindula pang'ono kwa mwamuna wanu, simukuyenera kudzifunsa chomwe chili chofunika kwambiri kwa munthu wokonda kudzikonda kapena chikondi. Pambuyo pake, ubale wanu sudzakhala ndi vuto losankha.