Munthu aliyense ali ndi "kuphatikiza" kwake ndi "minuses". Musamayerekezere ana anu ndi wina aliyense, mwinamwake zovuta zomwe mumayika zidzasokoneza chitukuko chawo. Mu mgwirizano wa banja, musayambe kulemekeza zofooka, mwinamwake chisangalalo "chidzasweka" ndipo "sichidzagwiritsidwa pamodzi". Nthawi zonse mupeze chinenero chimodzi ndipo musabise zovuta wina ndi mzake. Inde, mitsempha si "chitsulo", chirichonse chikhoza kuchitika. Ngati mutakwiya mukamanena mawu onyoza, ziribe kanthu kwa mwamuna kapena ana ake, onetsetsani kuti mupepesa.
Chinsinsi china cha chinsinsi chachikulu cha ubwino wa banja ndicho chofunikira kwambiri. Kodi izi zikutanthauzanji? Muukwati wokondwa, banja limasowa kwa onse okwatirana ndi ofunika kwambiri kuposa kulankhulana ndi abwenzi, ntchito, kulumikizana ndi achibale. Mwamuna ndi mkazi wake ali okonzeka kudzimana, chifukwa cha banja, wina ndi mzake, ana. Izi ndizofunika kwambiri: banja ndilo chinthu chachikulu, china chirichonse ndi chachiwiri. Izi ndi zofunika kuti anthu asamachite zinthu mwamsanga pa nthawi yaukwati, ndipo afotokozereni mosamala nkhaniyi, padzakhala mabanja okondwa kwambiri. Kodi mumakhala ndi banja lanu kangati? Kodi mabanja anu ali ndi maholide ang'onoang'ono? Kodi mumachita kangati kangati? Ndi mavo ati omwe amachitira "nthawi" ya "banja" lanu? Ngati banja siliri m'mawu koma makamaka poyamba, ganizirani kuti muli pa njira yoyenera.
Chinsinsi chapadera cha ubwino wa banja ndi kuthekera kuthetsa mavuto pamene akuwuka, komanso kuti asatuluke mu "bokosi lalitali". Mumtundu wotere mulibe malo okangana ndi opanikizana, zonse zimathetsedwa mwadzidzidzi komanso mosamala. Okwatirana muukwati wosangalatsa salola kulolera kwa kusudzulana, iwo amatsatirana momasuka wina ndi mzake, wina ndi mzake malingaliro ake. Kupereka lumbiro kuti "akhale pamodzi ndi chimwemwe ndi chisoni," amalumbira pothandizana, ngati wina akudwala, wachiwiri adzamupulumutsa, ndipo ngati munthu mmodzi ali wokondwa, ndiye wokonzeka kugawana chimwemwe ichi ndi theka lina.
Mawu a m'Baibulo "thupi limodzi" amasonyeza kuti nthawi zonse ubalewo umakhalapobe. Ndi mgwirizano wa mwamuna ndi mkazi omwe ali ndi ubwino wa banja. Mwamuna ndi mkazi wake, monga gulu limodzi, amathetsa mosavuta mavuto alionse. Zimagwira bwino komanso bwino, zimatsatira njira imodzi. Ngati pali kusagwirizana, ndiye kuti nthawi zonse zimakhala zotsutsana, chifukwa anthu amadzipereka kuti agwirizane, kuti athetse mavuto. Mwamuna ndi mkazi, musanasankhe zochita, funsanani.
Zolinga zofanana ndizochinsinsi chachikulu cha banja losangalala. Iwo amasonkhanitsa kwambiri mwamuna ndi mkazi. Kupindula kophatikiza kwa zolinga zomwe zakhazikitsidwa kumapereka chidziwitso chabwino kwa wina ndi mzake, pali chidaliro chapaderadera, chidaliro cha kudalirika kwa munthu uyu.
Dziwani mmene mungakhululukire zolakwa! Kupatsana wina ndi mzake ndichinsinsi chofunika kwambiri mu chiyanjano. Palibe "inshuwalansi" yotsutsa zolakwika. Phunzitsani ana kuti apatsane wina ndi mzake, chifukwa sali okondana, koma mbadwa. Khalani anzeru polera ana. Samalani kuti musamachite zinthu zonse. Afotokozereni maudindo omwe angathe kuchita malinga ndi zaka. Tamandani ana anu chifukwa chothandizira ntchito zapakhomo ndipo mwamsanga musaiwale kuti muyenera kuwauza. Ana adzalandira udindo, udindo wawo, ayamba kuzindikira kuti ntchito yawo ndi yofunika kwa banja, kuti ndi othandizira makolo awo.
Zinsinsi za ubwino wa banja ndizochepa ndipo onse amathandizira ku chinthu chofunika kwambiri-chikondi m'banja mwanu!