Kufikira kumayambiriro kwa zaka za zana la 20, msinkhu wabwino kwambiri wa mtsikana wokwatirayo unali wazaka 18. Mayi amene sanakwatire asanakwanitse zaka 25 anali ngati msungwana wachikulire, ndipo zinali zovuta kwambiri kuti akonze moyo wake. Tiyeni tiyambe ndi mfundo yakuti panthawi imeneyo moyo wamakhalidwe a mkaziyo unali wochepa pa ulimi ndi kulera ana. Kuwala mudziko, kusamalira ana ndi mwamuna - ndiwo ndiwo ntchito zofunika za mkazi wokwatiwa wakale.
Akazi amakono amakhala ndi moyo wathanzi, amachita bizinesi (nthawi zambiri amafika pamalo apamwamba kusiyana ndi amuna ena), kulowerera ndale. Masiku ano, palibe amene amadabwa kuti bungwe lalikulu la mayiko likuyendetsedwa ndi mkazi. Moyo wokhutira ndi wokhutira ndizosatheka popanda maphunziro oyenerera, omwe ndi ovuta kupeza, pokhala mkazi ndi amayi (mwinamwake mwachisawawa). Kuonjezera apo, chikhazikitso chaukwati chasintha kwambiri, ndipo ukwati woyambirira wakhala ukuwoneka mosiyana, osati moipa, kuposa zabwino.
Ngati kale chikwati chimaonedwa kuti ndichizoloŵezi, tsopano zomwe zimayambitsa maukwati oyambirira zimaphunziridwa mosamala. Zimakhulupirira kuti banja laling'ono ndilo chifukwa chachikulu cha kusudzulana, kunena kuti "anyamata sakudziwa zomwe akuchita," akwatirana mosasamala komanso osaganiza, ndipo zaka zingapo samvetsa chifukwa chake (kapena osankhidwa) anasankhidwa.
Zifukwa za maukwati oyambirira zikuphatikizapo mawonetseredwe otsatirawa, ambiri omwe amakhala mphindi yofunikira pakupanga chisankho cholakwika kukwatira.
Chikondi, chomwe chimapitirira atsikana aang'ono, ndicho chinthu chodutsa. Amakhulupirira kuti mtsikana sangathe kukhala ndi chikondi chokwanira. Chimene chimachitika ku thupi lake, zimakhala zovuta kuti zikhale ndi kusintha kwa mahomoni, ndipo chilakolako ndi chikhumbo chokhala ndi wokondedwa wanu nthawi zonse sizikutanthauza kukonda, kumvetsa, kukhululukira. Pamene chikondi chimakhala chifukwa cha ukwati woyambirira, achinyamata nthawi zambiri samatha kumvetsa ndi kuvomereza kusintha komwe kumachitika pamene ulimi wogwirizana. Kuwonjezera pamenepo, iwo akukumana ndi yankho la mavuto ambiri ndi mafunso. Kwa chisokonezo choonjezera chitha kuwonjezeredwa chifukwa cha kusowa kwapindula komweko ndi kufunika kokhala pamodzi ndi makolo.
Kawirikawiri, chifukwa cha ukwati woyambirira ndi chikhumbo cholumikiza ubale wapamtima umene umakhala pakati pa achinyamata. Pakalipano, anthu ambiri amasiya kukayikira nkhaniyi ndipo sawona chilichonse cholakwika pamkwati wa boma kapena pamisonkhano yocheperapo ya achinyamata. Komabe, chiwerengero cha makolo omwe amatsutsana kwambiri ndi khalidwe la ana aakazi ndi lalikulu. Nthawi zambiri makolo ndi omwe amachititsa kuti akazi azikwatirana, kuyesa kuwatsogolera ndi kuwasamalira, osazindikira kuti mwa njirayi amasiya chisankho koma kukwatirana ndikupanga ubale wawo.
Kukanikizidwa kwa makolo, kusungidwa kwawo kovuta, kulephera kulingalira ndi maganizo a munthu wamkulu (mwana wamkulu wamkulu kapena mwana), kungayambitse chilakolako chachikulu chochoka mu ukapolo ndikusiya nyumba ya makolo, mwa njira iliyonse. Kunyalanyaza kwambiri ndi makolo, kusasamala kwawo nthawi zambiri kumapangitsa atsikana kukhala opanda pake. Zifukwa zoterezi popanga banja sizinali zoyenera, chifukwa cholinga chokwatirana pa nkhaniyi sichiri chovuta.
Chimodzi mwa zifukwa zomwe zimayambitsa ukwati woyambirira ndi mimba yosakonzekera. Ngakhale kuti pali njira zocheperapo kwambiri za kulera, asungwana aang'ono amakhala opanda nzeru kwambiri poyambitsa moyo wogonana. Pachifukwa ichi, gawo lofunika kwambiri likuwonetsedwa ndi udindo wa mayi, amene ayenera kusankha mawu oyenera kufotokoza kwa mwana yemwe akukula kuti kusintha kwake m'thupi lake kumachitika pokhudzana ndi kulowa "m'badwo" wobereka. Palibe chifukwa choyenera kupanikizidwa ndi ulamuliro, ngati kutaya chikhulupiriro kumayambitsa zotsatira zosasangalatsa (sikunatchulidwe kuti amayi amazindikira za kuchotsa mimba zomwe mwanayo ayenera kuchita).
Kukonza mimba ndi koyenera, popeza kuti mimba yoyamba siikugwiritsidwa ntchito ndi zovuta zathupi zokha, komanso ndi kupsinjika kwa maganizo. Ngati kutenga mimba kumakhala chifukwa chokwatirana, ndi kovuta kunena mosapita m'mbali kuti ukwati woteroyo udzakhala wopambana komanso wothazikika. Pamene achinyamata ali ndi udindo woleredwa ndi mwana (ndikukhulupirirani, izi zimachitikanso), n'zotheka kuti banja loyambirira lidzapambana.Ngati makolo a mtsikanayo akudandaula kwambiri ndi zomwe anthu anganene, osamvetsera zonena za mwanayo, banja likhoza kukhala lolimba.
Atsikana aang'ono amakonda kukondana ndikukhulupirira kuti amakonda kosatha. Komabe, atatha kupsinjika kwa kupatukana, amatha kukhala ndi nthawi yaitali, akuwombera m'maganizo awo, amayenda ndi kumpsompsona koyamba. Nthawi zina, mtsikana amakhala wokonzeka kukwatira kapena kukwatiwa ndi munthu woyamba kukangokhalira kukwatirana, kuti aiwale chikondi chosasangalatsa. Maukwati amodzi nthawi zambiri amalephereka, monga momwe mkwiyo umapitilira ndi nthawi, ndipo wolakwirayo sakufuna kubwezera, ndipo chopondetseramo pasipoti chimakhala chofunikira.
Komabe, ngakhale kuti mabanja amatha kusudzulana pazaka zoyambirira, pali mabanja omwewa omwe akudziphatika okhaokha, ali ndi chikondi chenicheni ndikuzindikira kuti ukwati ndi chinthu choyipa kwambiri. Pankhaniyi, mtsikana akakhala osadziletsa, akhoza kuphunzira kuti apange ntchito ndi kulera ana m'tsogolomu, kukwatirana kumene kungathandize kuti akhale ndi udindo wochulukirapo mwamsanga. Koma chiwerengero cha ukwati wotero ndi chaching'ono kwambiri.