Pali lingaliro lakuti chikazi chinaletsa kuletsa anthu omwe amakhala m'banja lachilendo, la nthawi yaitali. Popeza iye akubisira kuseri kwa malingaliro ofanana, motero amagwira ntchito ndi akazi okha, motsimikiza kuti mwamuna, ngati si mdani weniweni wa mkazi, penapake pambali iyi, kuchokera kwa mkaziyo nthawi zonse amavutika ndi mavuto. Kodi chikoka cha chikazi pa banja ndi chiyani?
Banja ndi Ukazi
Ngati chikazi ndi moyo wa mkazi ndi chikazi, ndiye mwamuna amene ali pachithunzichi ndi mlendo, "mwatsatanetsatane" zomwe zimakhala zothandiza, koma sizingakhale zofanana ndi mkazi mwiniwake. Azimayi omwe amavomereza maganizo a chikazi poyamba saganizira za kusunga banja pambuyo poti "ayamba kutaya". Ndikoyenera kutchula kuti chikazi chimapangitsa kuti kugonana kwachikazi kuchotse mwamuna, yemwe ali ndi zovuta zina, ngati chikondi kale chachoka, ndipo moyo pamodzi unakhala wolemetsa. Eya, ndipo ngati mumaganizira kuti anthu alibe zofooka, ndiye kuti mabanja onse amagwa. Kukhalapo kwa ana m'banja sikumagwira ntchito iliyonse, chifukwa chinthu chachikulu kwa mkazi ndiyekha, ndipo ana akhoza kuchita popanda bambo. Pambuyo pa zonse, malamulo ena a chikazi - "mwana sakusowa kuti akhale ndi bambo ndi amayi, zokwanira zomwe amangozikonda."
Akazi samaganizira komanso mosavuta kugawana ndi amuna awo, pamene sakuyesera kukhala moyo popanda chilakolako, koma banja lokhazikika, lofunika kuti akule ndi kukula kwa ana. Ana amene amaleredwa m'banja losweka amavutika ndi khalidwe la makolo awo m'miyoyo yawo. Mwachidule, kulephera kulankhula ndi amuna kapena akazi, kusakhoza kukhala ndi ubale weniweni wa nthawi yaitali, ndi "pulogalamu". Choncho, chikazi chimatsimikizira kuti mbadwo wotsatira wa anthu udzakhala mtundu wa anthu osungulumwa. Chitsanzo choterechi chimaperekedwa ndi ziphunzitso zazimayi - pafupifupi nthawi zambiri zimasiyana ndi "theka" lawo.
Ukazi Umalepheretsa Kulengedwa kwa Banja Lachibadwa
Mmodzi mwa malamulo ofunikira kwambiri a chikazi akuti "mwamuna wamwamuna wakhala akuponderezedwa kwa zaka mazana ndi akazi, mwa njira iliyonse amawasokoneza iwo ndipo amafuna kumvera kwawo ndi kuchepa." Ndipo chikazi tsopano chalola mkazi kuti amve kuti ali membala wampingo wonse - wofanana ndi waulere. Zoona, ziphunzitso zazimayi sizimagwirizana ndi kukhalapo kwa lingaliro lotero, chifukwa aliyense amadziwa kuti kulimbika kwakukulu poyerekeza ndi amuna. Chikhumbo chokhala kapena chowoneka ngati "mbuye wa dziko" chiri choyimira cha oimira ambiri azimayi, koma mu moyo wosavuta amasiya ndi kusiyana kwakukulu kwa mwayi wokwaniritsa cholinga ichi.
Winawake angafunse kuti ndi chiani chikazi? Ndipo pambali pake, kuti iwo omwe amamatira ku chikazi "pafupi ndi mlengalenga" amadzipangitsa kudzidalira ndi kudzidalira (pali milandu yomwe ili yoyenera, ndipo pali - popanda mwakuya, koma kuchotsa). Panthawi imodzimodziyo, kuyang'ana popanda "magalasi pinki" pawekha kumafooka kwambiri (monga "iwo ankanyengedwera ndi mitu yawo yolakwika, koma tsopano ndi mfulu" - mwa mawu akuti "chizungulire ndi kupambana"). Ndipo kotero, pakufufuza za "ufulu" wake kuyang'ana kuzungulira dziko lapansi, mkazi amapeza kuti iwo omwe ali oyenerera makhalidwe ake akuluakulu aumunthu samakhala ayi (ndipo ngati alipo, iwo amakhala kale kapena "amuna", kotero iwo ali osayenera) . Pamene kudzikuza kotereku kuli koyenera - mkazi akhoza kungomverwa chisoni, koma anthu otere (omwe amadzilemekeza okha, akazi kapena amuna) amakhala ochepa. Pafupifupi anthu onse ali ndi makhalidwe ambiri. Kuti apange awiri angayambidwe ndi munthu wofanana. Koma sizili choncho! Ukazi umapangitsa mkazi kukhala wosungulumwa m'malo mokhazikitsa banja limodzi ndi munthu wamba wamba. Chifukwa pansi pa "kugunda" mumangogwa pafupifupi amuna onse omwe akanatha kupanga mkazi kwa okwatirana. Ndipo anthu akhoza kukhala moyo wamtali wautali (mwinamwake osakhudzidwa kwambiri kapena opanda chimwemwe chachikulu, koma bwino). Ndipo ndiyenera kunena kuti ndi chikazi chomwe ndi chifukwa cha kusungulumwa kwathunthu.