Tiyeni tiyambe mwa kufotokoza zomwe zimayambitsa mikangano ya m'banja.
Asayansi amanena kuti mikangano m'banja ikhoza kukwiyidwa ndi kusagwirizana kwa ntchito ya "nthawi yowonongeka" ya okwatirana. Mwachitsanzo, "larks" amamva okondwa m'mawa, ubongo wawo umakhala wopanda ufulu, amasangalala, koma "owulu" sangathe kudzuka. Ndipo iwo sali okonzeka kuchita zambiri za ubongo. Ngati mwamuna ndi mkazi ali ndi magulu osiyanasiyana m'banja, ndiye kuti m'mawa ndi madzulo, mikangano ingabwere. Koma izi ndizongoganiza, choncho simukusowa kuthetsa mavuto onse a banja lanu pa chikhalidwe chokwanira cha banja lanu. Sitifunikira kuti mupeze mgwirizano kuyambira m'mawa kapena pamaso pa bedi.
Zili zomvetsa chisoni, nthawi zambiri mikangano ya m'banja siimabuka chifukwa cha chiyani. Pano, mwachitsanzo, izi. Tsiku logwira ntchito, lomwe silinali losavuta, litatha, mumapita kwanu. Mubusimasi, wina anakukakamizani, kapena akukugwetsani, osabwerera kunyumba, atatopa, ndikupondaponda, mumalandiridwa ndi mwamuna wanjala ndi mwana amene akusowa thandizo kuti aphunzire. Chilichonse chimayamba kuwira mkati mwanu, kumverera kwa mkwiyo kumayamba kuphuka, kusagwirizana kuli kubzala. Mukulavulaza maganizo anu onse pamabanja anu, vutoli likufika pachimake, mukuzindikira kuti simukuyenera kupitiriza kufuula, mofulumira kupita kumbali zosiyanasiyana za nyumba. Ndondomekoyi imatenga masiku angapo. Inu ndi mwamuna wanu simukuyankhula, ndipo ali ndi inu, nanunso. Aliyense wa inu akufuna kale kukhazikitsa mtendere, koma palibe wopepesa. Pambuyo pake, inu nonse mukuganiza kuti mukulondola, ndipo chifukwa chake ndi inu amene muyenera kukhala oyamba kupepesa. Tsikulo lidutsa, lachiwiri, madzulo amakhala chete, palibe yemwe amalankhula kwa wina aliyense, ndipo foniyo imakhala chete mwamtendere. Mukuganiza kale:
Nthawi zina, kuthetsa mkangano wamabanja, ndizomveka kutembenukira kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo.
Katswiri wa zamaganizo ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi maganizo odziimira okha, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti ndi kosavuta kuti akusonyezeni chomwe chimayambitsa mikangano m'banja lanu ndi kuwathandiza kuthetsa ndi kupeŵa moyo wapabanja. Kuyankhulana kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo ndi njira imodzi yodalirika yothetsera mikangano ya m'banja.
Anthu ambiri amakayikira nkhaniyi. Ndipotu, amanyaziwa chifukwa chakuti munthu ayenera kupita kwa amalume kapena agogo ake aang'ono ndi kumuuza za banja lake ndi mavuto ake. Koma pofuna kuthetsa kukayikira uku, tidzakuuzani za ubwino wa magawo a maganizo. Amathandizira kupeza njira yolondola yothetsera mikangano imene yakhala ikuchitika. Ndipotu, mukukamba za munthu yemwe ali ndi luso la maganizo komanso samatsatira zolinga zake ndipo adzakuthandizani kupanga chisankho choyenera.
Tsoka ilo, m'dziko lathu ino si njira yodziwika kwambiri yothetsera mavuto athu. Anthu safuna kugwiritsa ntchito ndalama, nthawi, ndi zina. Ndipotu, akatswiri a nkhaniyi si ochuluka kwambiri, ochulukirapo kusiyana ndi anthu omwe akufuna kuti apeze, ngakhale opanda maphunziro kapena mbiri yabwino. Komabe, anthu amafunika kumvetsetsa kuti pamene mikangano imabuka m'banja, ndibwino kuwonana ndi munthu wodziwa bwino kuposa chibwenzi chomwecho. Popeza bwenzi lanu lingakuchitirani nsanje, ndicho chifukwa chake amapereka malangizo amenewa, omwe sangakuthandizeni, koma kungowonjezera mavuto a banja lanu, kapena momwe amaonera moyo wa banja sali bwino. Kapena uphungu wochokera kwa wachibale wanu wapamtima, yemwe sali wothandizira kwambiri mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, adzakupatsani malangizo omwe angapweteke chiyanjano chanu. Taganizirani bwino pa funso ili.
Nthawi zina, kusagwirizana ndi banja kungayambitse mgwirizano.
Ngati mupeza ubale wopanda chiwawa, muzitha kuchepetsa, zokambiranazo zingakhale zopindulitsa, ndipo malingaliro oipa omwe amachokera kwa iwo adzatha. Tiyeni tipite kumbali ya mkangano, chifukwa nthawi zonse sichitengera mbali yolakwika, chifukwa nkhondoyo imabweretsa mavuto ena m'banja. Ndipo izo zingakhale ngati kugwedezeka kwa ubale wanu wokondweretsa.
Pamene mkangano uli mkati, mwamuna ndi mkazi nthawi zambiri amaiwala kale chifukwa chake. Iwo ali kale akungokumbukira zokwiya zonse ndi zokwiya za miyoyo yawo, chirichonse chomwe iwo adachipeza pa zaka za moyo wawo palimodzi, zonse zomwe sananenenso kale, ndipo anali kuzidya pang'onopang'ono kuchokera mkati. Kutaya zolemera zonse zakufa pa wokondedwa wanu, mumapanga kulakwa kwakukulu. Koma izi siziletsedwa! Muyenera kufotokozera nthawi yomweyo zomwe mukuyesera kuziwona, ndikumvetsetsa izi, muzochitika zomwe munapanga panthawiyi.
Inde, palibe, sikutheka kugwiritsa ntchito kuwopseza pokambirana za kusiya banja, kusudzulana, ndi zina zotero. Iwo amatha kuchita moyenera, kapena inu, mwamsanga kapena mtsogolo, adzayenera kuti akwaniritse iwo.
Tikukupemphani kuti musachite. Ngati muwona kuti pali vuto m'banja mwanu, muyenera kuganizira mozama za zomwe munganene komanso momwe mungayankhulire. Muyenera kuyendetsa bwino mkati mwanu. Zoonadi, izi si zophweka, makamaka pamene chilichonse mkati mwanu chiwotcha ndi kupopera mphamvu kuchokera pazifukwa zomwe zimagwirizanirana. Koma ndani anati moyo ndi chinthu chophweka? Koma, komabe, kudzifufuza kotereku kudzabweretsa zotsatira zake zabwino. Ndipotu, panopa, mungapewe kudzudzula komanso zopanda pake. Inu ndi mnzanuyo mukhoza kupeza mgwirizano popanda chiyeso, mu mawu otsika. Izi sizingatchedwenso kutchedwa kukangana. Muli ndi nkhani yokha, fotokozerani kwa mwamuna wanu zomwe mukufuna kusintha pakadali pano ndipo mvetserani maganizo ake. Ndiye, titha kufotokozera njira zomwe zimachokera pamtenderewu. Njira iyi idzakuthandizani mtsogolomu kukuthandizani kumvetsetsa momwe mungapewere mikangano m'banja. Mukungofuna kufotokozera momveka bwino zomwe mukukumana nazo, mvetserani zomwe mukukuuzani, ndipo mufike pamapeto omwenso kuti mutulukemo.
Koma kupatula banja, mudakali ndi abwenzi. Timakonda amuna athu ndi ana athu, koma ziribe kanthu momwe timawakondera, timasowa anthu omwe ali okonzeka kuti alowe nawo tsiku lililonse ndi ola limodzi, kuthandizira panthawi yovuta ndikusangalala chifukwa cha inu mu nthawi zabwino za moyo. Mabanja ena ali ndi anzanu ofanana, ena samatero. Koma zimakhalanso kuti mikangano imachitika osati m'banja, komanso ndi mabwenzi. Ndipo, nthawizina, timasiya kulankhulana nawo.
Zoonadi, sitikufuna kuthetsa ubale, ngakhale pamene pali chifukwa chachikulu cha izi. Tikufuna kupeŵa izi mwanjira iliyonse, chifukwa mwakhala mukukumana nazo zambiri. Kawirikawiri, ambiri a ife sitingathe kusunga ubale, chifukwa sakudziwa kupeŵa mikangano ndi anzathu.
Ndili ndi abwenzi ndibwino kukhala mabwenzi, osati kuchita bizinesi yogwirizana kapena kugwira ntchito kuntchito. Izi nthawi zambiri zimayambitsa mikangano, ndipo ubwenzi umatha apa. Ndipotu, bwenzi lanu likhoza kukhala munthu wabwino, koma kuntchito simungavomereze maganizo ndi zochita. Ndi bwino kuuza wina ndi mnzake za ntchito yanu ndi antchito akukukhumudwitsani kuposa kukhala antchito oterewa.
Anthu ambiri amaika zofuna zawo paokha komanso kwa ena omwe amawazungulira. Mtundu uwu, mwinamwake, umapereka mtendere pakati pa anthu. Koma ndithudi imalepheretsa kugwirizana ndi mabwenzi. Chifukwa munthu wabwino akhoza kulakwitsa ndikuchita choipa. Ngati mutaya chiyanjano ndi onse okhumudwa ndikuchita chinachake chimene mukuganiza kuti ndi cholakwika, ndiye kuti zaka zingapo zidzatha, ndipo mudzakondwerera Chaka Chatsopano podzikweza. Yesetsani kumvetsa chifukwa cha ichi cha bwenzi lanu, osati kukhala malo ake, pambuyo pake.
Amuna angathe kuthandizana ngati theka lawo likutsutsana ndi abwenzi awo. Chifukwa cha mikangano ya anthu nthawi zambiri chimakhala mavuto a bizinesi. Mkazi sangathe kupirira vutoli, koma amuthandize mwamuna wake kuti asamavutike kwambiri. Mutha kumutsimikizira mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu kuti moyo suli limodzi ndi ntchito, ndikofunika koyankhulana momasuka. Koma chifukwa chachikulu cha kukangana pakati pa akazi ndi mavuto aumwini. Amuna, omwe amawaona ngati zopanda pake, amathandizira akazi awo kumvetsa choonadi chophweka, ndipo musamangomvera mozama zinthu zonse zomwe wina wanena pamenepo.
Ngati mwakwiya kwambiri ndi munthu, yesetsani kutsata malamulo oyambirira a khalidwe mukumenyana. Muyenera kuthana ndi vuto linalake, osati kupita kwa munthu aliyense. Muyenera kukambirana zambiri zakumverera, ndipo musanyoze mnzanuyo. Simungapitirire kukambirana ndi abambo ndikukhudza ana. Musawopseze ndi kubweretsa vutoli ku mawu oti "konse".
Ndikofunika kuyesa kuyang'ana mkhalidwewo kuchokera kumbali, kupyolera pamaso a munthu wosungulumwa. Ikani nokha m'malo mwa bwenzi lanu ndikuyesera kumvetsetsa zolinga zake. Nchifukwa chiyani iye anachita izi, ndipo osati mwinamwake, nchifukwa chiani iye ananena zomwe iye ananena. Inde, zonse chifukwa amakhalanso ndi maganizo komanso ali ndi maganizo aumunthu.
Musasunge chakukhosi ndi mnzanu ndikukhala naye moyo wanu wonse. Ndipotu, akhoza kulepheretsa kubwezeretsa chiyanjano ndi mnzako osati njira yabwino yodzizira thanzi lanu la thanzi.
Musaope kutenga choyamba choyanjanitsa ndi mnzanu ndi kupepesa. Kuyankhula mumtima ndikumvetsa kuti mkangano unali wopanda pake, koma inu munakwiya. Ndi chithandizo cha izi mudzapambana.
Tawonani zaka zingapo kutsogolo ndikudziwitsani zomwe zidzachitike mukasiya ubwenzi wanu. Kodi ubwino ndi zowopsya za izi mumapeza zotani? Ndiyeno inu mukhoza kupanga kale kusankha kwanu. Komabe, musiye ubwenzi wanu kapena mupitilizebe panopa komanso m'tsogolo.
Malamulo onse ndi ndondomeko zomwe tatchula pamwambazi zingakuthandizeni kuyankha funsoli: "Mmene mungapewere kusamvana m'banja komanso ndi anzanu." Ndi chithandizo chawo, mudzatha kupeza njira zopewera mikangano, osanyozetsa, komanso osanyoza wina ndi mzake. Iwo adzakuthandizani kuphunzira momwe mungagwirizanitse malingaliro ndi kutseka maganizo pa nthawi yozengereza. Ndipotu, abwenzi ndi abwenzi ndi ofunikira kwambiri, ndipo ndibwino kuti muzichita khama kuti mupewe kusamvana m'banja komanso ndi anzanu, kusiyana ndi kudandaula nokha ndi kuvutika kwanu chifukwa chakukhumudwitsani anthu anu enieni.