Mkazi woyenera kuti akhale ndi chikondi choterechi ndi chinthu chamtundu komanso chosasunthika, chosafotokozedwa bwino ndi mawu, zamaganizo.
Anthu osokoneza maganizo ndi osakhulupirira samakhulupirira chikondi, amakhulupirira kuti mkazi wabwino kwa munthu wopanda ungwiro alibe chilengedwe. Afunseni chomwe chimalimbikitsa ubale pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi, adzakuuzani za kusintha, kuyesedwa kwa amuna kwa akazi kapena akazi kwa amuna. M'nkhani yawo padzakhala zambiri zamwano zakuthupi komanso opanda malingaliro.
Choonadi, monga mwachizolowezi, chiri pakati pakati pa malingaliro oopsya awa. Ndipo munthu aliyense ali ndi mwayi woti akwaniritse zolinga zake, chabwino, kapena pafupifupi mkazi wangwiro. Kodi muyenera kuchita chiyani izi? Ndikofunikira kumvetsetsa chikhalidwe cha chikondi ndi ubale pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi.
Ngati tiyandikira kuphunzira mwachikondi ndi pragmatism yathanzi, popanda kukayikira kwambiri kapena changu, ndiye kuti chikondi poyamba pakukhala ndi zifukwa zomveka. Sitikukondana ndi aliyense poyang'ana poyamba. Cholinga chathu cha mwamuna kapena mkazi chiripo pamutu mwathu kapena mumtima. Ndipo ndi zabwino ngati zimagwirizana komanso zenizeni. Panthawi yokomana ndi munthu yemwe ali ofanana kwambiri ndi izi, timakumana ndi zomwe zimatchedwa chikondi kapena chikondi poyang'ana poyamba.
Pofuna kumvetsa zomwe zingakhale mkazi wabwino kwa munthu wosakhala woyenera, ndibwino kuyang'anitsitsa zomwe adayesa kale. Ngakhale pakali pano tebulo la khofi la munthu wotero liri ndi magazini omwe ali ndi zokongola kwambiri pachivundikirocho, musadzipusitse nokha. Choyenera cha mkazi, chofalitsidwa ndi magazini, sichigwirizana kwenikweni ndi zoyenera pamutu wa mwamuna. Amuna osatetezeka okha ndi osapitilirapo angathe kupangitsa kukongola kwawo ku masamba a magazini. Kawirikawiri, mkazi wabwino kwa mwamuna weniweni ali kutali ndi makonzedwe okongola omwe amavomerezedwa.
Ngakhale mnzanu kapena mnzanu atanena kuti akufuna kukwatira mtsikana wotchedwa la Pamela Anderson, musamufulumize kuti akhulupirire. Mutu wake akhoza kukhala molimba chithunzi cha mkazi wamphindi womanga, ndi tsitsi lalifupi pa tsitsi lake lakuda. Chinthuchi ndi chakuti choyenera cha mkazi chimapangidwa ndi mwamuna m'mutu mwake pafupi zaka zapakati pa 4-5, chimakhala chosasunthika, ndipo chimakhalanso chosinthira. Zitatha izi, n'zovuta kusintha izi. Palibe magazini kapena malangizo ochokera kwa abwenzi pano omwe sangakuthandizeni. Ndipo ngakhale makolo sangathe kulowererapo. Ndipotu, osadziŵa, munthu woteroyo amadziwa kale mtundu wa mkazi yemwe amafunikira.
Nchifukwa chiyani malingaliro a amayi ali amphamvu kwambiri? Tiyeni tione mwatsatanetsatane Kwa nthawi yoyamba mwanayo amadzizindikira kuti ndi mwamuna pakati pa zaka zitatu ndi zisanu. Sigmund Freud adatcha sitejiyi kuti ndi Oedipus siteji. Dzinali likuchokera ku nthano ya Oedipus, yemwe adapha bambo ake kuti akwatire amayi ake. Chikondi choyamba kwa mwana wamwamuna nthawi zambiri chimakhala mayi ake, agogo ake aakazi kapena anyamata, ngati ali ndi amayi ake ali pa msinkhu umenewu amadziwona yekha kawirikawiri. Amayamba kuzindikira kusiyana kwakukulu kwa amuna ndi akazi ndipo kwa nthawi yoyamba amakumana ndi chikondi kwa mkaziyo. Koma popeza mwana wamwamuna wazaka zisanu amakhala ndi mpikisano wamphamvu ngati bambo kapena agogo, mnyamatayo akukumana ndi vuto lalikulu. Amayamba kuchitira nsanje amayi ake, ana ena amawongoka ndipo amanena kuti akufuna kuti bambo ake afe, kapena akufuna kumupha kuti akwatire amayi ake. Pambuyo pake, gawo ili la mkangano wamaganizo pa mkazi limadutsa, ndipo mwanayo amakula. Komabe, mutu wake, lingaliro la mkazi wokongola limakhazikika. Kawirikawiri ndi 5-6 mwa zofunika kwambiri, zoyamba za amayi ake kapena agogo ake. Freud adatcha makhalidwe awa angapo "kukonzekera koyamba." Uwu ndi umunthu wolimba, wokhala ndi maganizo, womwe m'tsogolomu uli wofooka kwambiri ndipo sungakonzedwe.
Ndipo ngakhale ali wachinyamata, mnyamatayo amapeza mwayi wachiwiri kuti aganizirenso maganizo ake pa zoyenera za mkazi. Amakumana ndi chikondi chake choyamba, chomwe nthawi zambiri chimakhala chosiyana ndi mayi. Kapena ali ndi khalidwe labwino, limene mayi alibe. Kenaka khalidwe latsopanoli limamaliza mndandanda wazinthu zamtunduwu, kapena zimakhala ndi makhalidwe atsopano. Kusintha kumeneku kunasintha mndandanda wa maonekedwe abwino a mkazi, omwe amasinthidwa paunyamata, Sigmund Freud wotchedwa "kukhazikitsa kachiwiri."
Kotero zimakhala kuti kwa munthu wopanda ungwiro, nthawizonse mumakhala wabwino kwa mkazi. Kawirikawiri iye alibe chochita ndi zithunzi za zokongola kuchokera pa kanema. Ndipo kunja kokha, ndi mu chikhalidwe, choyenera chotero chiri pafupi kwambiri ndi chiwerengero chenicheni cha chilengedwe cha munthu. Ndichifukwa chake pafupifupi munthu aliyense ali ndi mwayi wopeza theka lake, zomwe zidzakhala kwa iye wokondedwa kwambiri, mndandanda wokondedwa kwambiri wa kunja ndi wamkati mwa mkazi wabwino.