Pambuyo pa kupweteka komanso kutalika kwa nthawi yopatukana, nthawi zambiri zimakhala zovuta kukhalabe paubwenzi wabwino ndi mwamuna wakale pambuyo pa chisudzulo. Makamaka ngati chifukwa cholekanitsa chinali chigwirizano cha amuna. Akazi, monga lamulo, chifukwa cha chikondi chawo ndi chiopsezo chawo, zimakhala zovuta kwambiri kuti apulumuke. Choncho, zimakhala zovuta kwambiri kumanga ubale ndi munthu amene kale anali naye.
Funso loti kulipodi chiyanjano ndi okwatirana kale limakhala ndi mayankho ovuta. Kawirikawiri, pokhala ndi ubale ndi mwamuna wakale pambuyo pa chisudzulo, zifukwa za kusiyana ndi momwe anthu amagawanirana zimathandizira kwambiri. Mwachitsanzo, maanja omwe akhala m'banja zaka zingapo, atatha kusudzulana, nthawi zambiri mumakhala mavuto.
Kufotokozera za vutoli ndi kuyamba kwa maubwenzi ndi omwe kale anali okwatirana
Kwa onse omwe kale adali okwatirana akhoza kuchitika m'njira zosiyanasiyana. Pano, choyamba, nkofunikira kutsimikizira kuti pachiyambi, monga izi zimachitikira konse, anthu anali ndi ubale wabwino kwambiri womwe unamangidwa pamalingaliro ndi mtima. Koma pakapita nthawi anthu amayamba kuganizira zolakwa za mnzanuyo. Choncho, ngati mukufuna chiyanjano ichi ndi mnzanu wakale, muyenera kuchitenga (kale ngati bwenzi) momwemo. Ndipo chifukwa cha ichi mudzathandizidwa ndi ndondomeko pa zomwe sizinali zoyipa ndi iye. Zomwe mukuzikumbukira, malingaliro anu, omwe mumadziwana nawo ndiwo maziko omwe mukufunikira kuti muyankhulane ndi mnzanuyo.
Sungani maganizo anu
Kukhala ndi ubale wabwino ndi mwamuna wakale sikungatheke ngati, popanda kukumbukira kwake, simukugwirizana ndi chilichonse. Pano mungathe kuphatikizapo zodandaula zonse. Kumbukirani kuti pakuona "wakale" muyenera kukhala ndi chiwonetsero chokhazikika, makamaka ponena za vuto pamene iye adawonekera pa udindo wa woyambitsa phokoso. Muyenera kumanga maubwenzi pa mfundo yaikulu: "Tsopano palibe, palibe ndipo palibe yemwe ayenera." Ngati mwamuna wanu wakale akuyembekezerabe kuti akhoza kubwera nthawi iliyonse ndikupeza zonse zomwe mukufuna kuchokera kwa iye (ndipo pali zochitika zotere), mwamsanga mumuchotse. Muloleni amvetsetse bwino kuti, kupatula ngati malangizo othandiza, komanso osakhala muzochitika zonse (simunagwirizane ndi udindo wa psychologist), sangapeze chilichonse kuchokera kwa inu.
Timakhala ndi maganizo abwino
Chifukwa chachikulu cha ubale umenewu ndi mwamuna wamwamuna wakale ndi maulendo obwereza kwa nthawi ndi nthawi. Izi zingaphatikizepo mwayi woti adziŵe awo omwe kale ndi anzawo omwe alipo. Muzochitika izi, muyenera kumvetsetsa kuti "zakale" zanu ziyenera kumvetsetsa bwino zomwe mukuchita komanso zomwe zikuchitika pamoyo wanu, choncho, kuchokera kuyankhulana, nthawi zonse muyenera kukhala ndi maganizo abwino. Sikoyenera kupitiliza ngakhale atatha kusudzulana mwamunayo komanso ngakhale kuyesa kwake kukutsutsani ndi chinachake. Pa nthawi zoterezi (zogwirizana ndi mfundo yachiwiri yokhudza maubwenzi ndi akale) nthawi yomweyo mudule. Lemekezani ulemu wina ndi mzake.
Ana Amodzi
Ngati muli ndi ana ochepa, ndiye kuti simungakhale ndi ufulu wosankha, kuyankhulana ndi akale sikungapeweke. Ndipotu, mwana sangathe kukhala ndi "bambo akale" kapena "mayi ake akale", chifukwa mwamuna ndi mkazi wake akale amakhala kholo lokwanira komanso lomwe lilipo kale. Choncho, kuletsa kuyankhulana kwa mkazi wakale ndi mwanayo sikuli koyenera. Musayese kuyimba mwanayo kwa bambo ake, ndipo ndi bambo ake, mumayenera kukambirana mozama. Mwachitsanzo, kumufotokozera kuti ali ndi ufulu wofanana kwa mwanayo ndipo akuyenera kutenga gawo lake pamoyo wake. Koma nthawi yomweyo ziyenera kudziwika kuti mwamuna wakale sayenera kuyesa kuyimba mwanayo motsutsana ndi mayiyo, motero "akumkoka" kumbali yake.
Mfundo zofunika
Ndikofunika kumanga maubwenzi oterewa kale kukhala ndi mnzanu watsopano. Apo ayi, zidzakhala zomvetsa chisoni pang'ono kuyang'ana ubale watsopano wa kale (ngati iwo ali nawo kale).
Ndipo potsiriza, kumbukirani kuti kugonana pakati pa okwatirana kale sikungagwire ntchito ngati onse awiri asaphunzire kupepesa, athetse mavuto awo ndikusunga zonse zomwe zophika pazaka za moyo wa banja. Okwatirana kale ayenera kuyesa kumvetsetsana nthawi zonse, zilizonse.