Tiyeni tidziwe chomwe olamulira ankhanza ali. Awa ndi anthu omwe amachititsa zofuna zawo ndi malingaliro awo kwa ena, musawalekerere akakana ndi kutsutsana nawo. Iwo amalepheretsa anthu awo apamtima ndi mbadwa ufulu kuti asankhe okha, samaloledwa kukhala ndi malo awoawo omwe sangathe kuwongolera. Ayenera kudziwa za sitepe yanu yonse ndi zochita zanu. Izi ndizofunikira osati ndalama zokha, komanso zovala, zosankha zanu, nthawi yolumikizana, onse ndi abwenzi komanso makolo anu. Komanso, mwamuna wankhanza amadana ndi momwe mumagwiritsira ntchito tebulo, komanso kuti bedi silimangokhala momwe iye akufunira komanso mikate yomwe simunaione pansi pa tebulo.
Inde, pali amuna achiwawa amene amasonyeza mwachibadwa chikhalidwe chawo. Mwachitsanzo, mukutanganidwa ndi kugwiritsira ntchito ndalama kapena kuwonetsetsa kuyankhulana ndi anyamata. Ngati mukufuna kupita ndi mtsikana wachisangalalo, simungamvere zomwe mumatsutsa, koma ingoletsani kuchita zonse. Zimakhalanso kuti munthu amayamba kukhala wampondereza pakhomo pokhapokha atakhala wokoma ndi wolemekezeka polankhula ndi anzako kuntchito.
Ndipotu, psychology ya maubwenzi, kumene mwamuna ndi wankhanza, ndipo mkazi ndi wozunzidwa, ndi zovuta kwambiri. Zoonadi, chiwawa chimene chachitika pazifuniro zaumunthu, makamaka ngati chimachitika pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi (ndipotu mwamuna wozunza ndi wozunza mwakachetechete komanso kupondereza chifuniro cha mkazi wake) ndizochitika, zonyansa komanso zonyansa. Komabe, izi sizikutanthauza kuti mwamuna sakonda wokondedwa wake. Mwina iye ndi wachiwawa basi?
N'zotheka kugawanitsa amuna oponderezana m'magulu atatu.
Olamulira ankhanza a gulu loyambirira amadziwika ndi kuti akufuna kuyambitsa ulamuliro. Funso lokonda kwambiri la amuna opondereza, limene amalifunsa kwa akazi awo: "Ili kuti?". Munthuyu akuyenera kudziwa komwe ali ndi omwe mkazi wake kapena mwana wake amapita, zomwe amachita, omwe ali anzake abwenzi ake, chifukwa chiyani mkaziyo anabwerera kwawo kuchokera kuntchito ndi komwe anali atapachikidwa kwa mphindi makumi atatu. Ayenera kudziwa zonse ndi kulamulira, chifukwa ndiye yekha amadzikayikira.
Olamulira a gulu lachiwiri amatsutsa akazi awo. Pang'onopang'ono kumuzunza. Nthawi zina amagwiritsa ntchito mawu monga: "Ndiwe wosagwira ntchito popanda maphunziro, iwe sungakhoze kuchita popanda ine" kapena chinachake chonga ichi: "Iwe ukuthawa ndi chirichonse, yemwe angakutengere iwe kukagwira ntchito", "Penyani pa iwe iwe pagalasi, kodi iwe ukusowa chiyani pambali pa ine? ". Motero, amadzipangitsa kudzidalira, ndipo mkazi wake amauzidwa ndi kuti iye popanda iye adzatha ndipo palibe chimene chingathe. Iye akungofunikira izo, popanda izo sizomwe, malo opanda kanthu.
Olamulira a gulu lachitatu angathe kuthetsa nkhanza kwa akazi awo komanso ana awo. Kugwiritsira ntchito zida ndizopamwamba kwambiri zawonetsedwe kaukali m'banja. Ziwerengero zimatopa kuti amayi ndi ana nthawi zambiri amachitiridwa nkhanza ndi kumenyedwa kwa mwamuna ndi bambo wankhanza. Zowonjezereka zingathe kuwonjezereka ndipo momwemo zinthu zovuta, kugwiritsa ntchito mowa kapena mankhwala osokoneza bongo, chifukwa amatha kuchulukitsa nkhanza ndipo amatha kulepheretsa kulamulira zochita za munthu.
Monga lamulo, wolamulira wamba akuwonetsa nkhanza zake pokhapokha poyerekeza ndi banja lake, mnyumbamo. Ndipo akakumana ndi msewu pamsewu, sangathe kumutsutsa. Chifukwa mkati mwake mumakhala wamantha ndi wofooka.
Nchifukwa chiyani wina amakhala ndi mwamuna wabwino, ndipo ena amavutika ndi nkhanza? Inde, chifukwa msungwana mmodzi, atamva maulendo angapo mafunso a ndondomeko yotere monga "Ndinu kuti?" Kapena, "Chifukwa chiyani maminiti khumi amatha" amachotsa maubwenzi ndipo safuna kuyankha nthawi zonse pamtengowo uliwonse, ndipo wina, amalekerera, kenako iye adzakwatiwa ndipo adzayesedwa wolungama pamaso pake moyo wake wonse. Zonse zokhudzana ndi chisankho chathu, chifukwa palibe amene amatipangira ukwati kuti azitilamulira, timasankha tokha. Mafunso onsewa ngati osalakwa ndi chizindikiro cha kusatetezeka kwake. Pambuyo pake, akugwidwa ndi mantha chifukwa sasiya zofuna kuti mupeze wopikisana ndi mtima wanu. Ndipo atsikana ambiri poyamba amaganiza kuti ngati ali ndi nsanje, ndiye kuti amakonda. Hm, kodi iye? Mwinamwake iye amakonda, koma ndi zake, chikondi chapadera.
Kotero ife tinabwera kumapeto omwe amatiuza kuti atsikana ena amalola olamulira kudzilamulira okha, pamene ena samatero. Ndi amayi ati omwe amaloledwa kugwira ntchito?
Awa ndi amayi omwe anali ndi vuto lomwelo m'banja lawo ndi bambo wawo wankhanza. Amatenga chirichonse monga chinkhupule ndikupanga lingaliro loti ichi ndi chitsanzo choyenera cha ubale, kumene mwamuna ali wolimba mtima ndi wamwano, ndipo mkazi amamvera. Apa ndizokhazikika ndikuyang'ana munthu wamkuwa, wokhoza kunyozetsa, zomwe zimupatsa mpata womvera.
Ponena za chiwopsezo cha wozunza, akazi omwe amazunzidwa amatha kugwa. Iwo ali ndi chidaliro cha maganizo pa ubale wotero. Mwamuna wankhanza, yemwe amadziwa mphamvu zake pazinyumba, amasangalala nazo, ndipo mkazi nthawi zonse amafuna zifukwa zomveka chifukwa cha kutopa, ntchito kuntchito, ndi zina zotero. Nthawi zina kusokonezeka kwachisokonezo chifukwa cha kusamvera kumabweretsa chifukwa chakuti amalumbirirana wina ndi mzake m'chikondi kumanda kapena akuyanjanitsidwa ndi chithandizo cha kugonana kwachiwawa. Ndipo mkaziyo amadalira zowopsya komanso zowonongeka, monga mankhwala osokoneza bongo.
Mzimayi ali mkati mwake, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti sangathe kudziwa pomwe akugwiritsidwa ntchito. Ndipo pamene banja langa ndi abwenzi amayamba kumuwuza kuti amamulamulira ngati chidole, samakhulupirira. Ndipo akudzinenera kuti ali ndi nsanje pa iye ndipo akufuna kumudziletsa iye mokondwera, chifukwa iye ndi wabwino, khalidwe lake liri lolemetsa.
Ngati mukuganiza za momwe mungapezere munthu wotsutsa, muyenera kuchitapo kanthu. Muyenera kusonyeza wozunza kuti achibale anu, abwenzi, abale adziwe za zochita zake zonse. Ndipo iwo adzakuthandizani nthawi zonse ndi kumulanga.
Muuzeni iye kuti pali nkhani zoterezi mu lamulo lachigawenga lomwe limafuna kuti aziyankha mlandu, kuzunzidwa kwa ndege ndi khalidwe.
Ngati simukugwira ntchito, onetsetsani kupeza ntchito ndikupeza ndalama zanu. Ndiye mudzakhala ndi kudzidalira nokha ndi ndalama kuchokera kwa mwamuna wake. Koma mungathe kuchoka kwa iye ndikuchotsa ubale wanu ndi iye, ndiyo njira yabwino kwambiri yothetsera mwamuna wankhanza.
Ichi ndi psychology ya maubwenzi, kumene mwamuna ndi wankhanza, ndipo mkazi ndi wozunzidwa. Aliyense wa ife ayenera kudzipangira yekha kaya akhale ndi munthu uyu, kuyesa kuti amuphunzitsenso, kapena kuchoka kwamuyaya, kuyembekezera kupeza kalonga weniweni?