M'nkhani ino, tikambirana za zisewero zomwe zimakulolani kusokoneza moyo watsopano wogonana ndi kubweretsa zosangalatsa zatsopano kuti muyankhulane bwino. Koma oyimira amitundu ndi mibadwo yosiyanasiyana amakhudzana bwanji ndi mankhwala ochokera ku shopu la kugonana?
Achinyamata ambiri amakono akudziwa chifukwa chomwe amagwiritsira ntchito katundu kuchokera ku sitolo yosangalatsa, koma zinthu zoterezi zimatha kuyendetsa achinyamata, makamaka atsikana kupenta. Anthu a zaka makumi awiri ndi zisanu omwe adayesa zokondweretsa zambiri za kugonana, koma omwe sanakhale nayo nthawi yosangalala nayo, amakhulupirira kuti mphira ndi zinthu zina siziwathandiza. Koma mwana wa zaka 35 mpaka 40 akuwonetsa chidwi chenicheni ku mafilimu, zopangira mawonekedwe a akazi, mipira ndi zinthu zina zonyansa. Izi sizosadabwitsa, chifukwa oimira gululi ali kale ndi mawonekedwe a thupi lawo, ali ndi nthawi kuyesera pafupifupi masewera onse a chikondi ndipo iwo akufuna kudziwa momwe angasinthire moyo wapamtima wokondweretsa. Anthu a m'badwo wokalamba amanena za mankhwala ogulitsa zogonana-osiyana: wina amasonyeza chidwi, wina wa teĊµero wotere sakusangalatsidwa, ena amadzimva kuti akufunikira kwenikweni.
Ndipo tsopano ganizirani momwe mumamvera mukamva mawu akuti "kugulitsa kugonana", "katundu wapamtima"? Kodi simuli wokondwa kapena wamanyazi kuvomereza ngakhale nokha kuti mukufuna kuyesa chinachake kuchokera pamtunda? Akatswiri owona za kugonana, omwe asanthula nkhaniyi, akunena kuti manyazi ayenera kupangitsa kuti asakhale ndi chidwi ndi zidole zamkati.
Anthu achikulire, akudutsa m'masitolo ogonana, nthawi zambiri amakwiya chifukwa chakuti ndalama zanu mumayesa kuchotsa zopanda pake. Amuna amsinkhu wa zaka amawonetsa chidwi chodziwika bwino ndipo samangopita kukayendera. Amayi achikulire pakati pa anthu ambiri amakhulupirira kuti masitolo apamtima tsopano alipo pafupi ponseponse ndipo ndiyenera kuchepetsa kuchuluka kwawo.
Koma tiyeni tiyang'ane pa ziwerengero. Kotero, mu Megalopolis yaikulu ngati Moscow, muli masitolo oposa khumi ndi awiri okha, omwe aliyense angathe kugula tebulo pofuna kugonana. Pali mabungwe ochulukirapo ambiri ku Berlin: pali anthu 3 ochepa mumzindawu kusiyana ndi likulu la Russia, koma pali masitolo oposa 130 ogonana.
Ndi ndani yemwe amapezeka nthawi zambiri mu sitolo yogonana?
Psychoanalysts ndi sexologists amanena kuti toyamayi apamtima amakhala ndi chidwi kwambiri ndi iwo omwe akuphunzira za kugonana kwawo ndipo amayesera kukhala ndi maganizo. Mwachiwonekere, awa ndi anthu amene amasankha kukhala ndi khalidwe labwino kwambiri, pamene akupereka chisangalalo chachikulu kwa wokondedwa wawo.
Ngati munthuyo ali ndi dongosolo ndi mbali yowonongeka, amayesera kusokoneza moyo wake wapamtima.
Alendo ambiri ogulitsa masewera ogonana amagula chidole chifukwa chosavuta kuti alibe wokondedwa, ndipo kugonana ndikokwanira ndipo kumafuna kutaya.
Tiyeni tione mbiri
Zosewera za kugonana zinapangidwa kutali osati 100, osati zaka 200 zapitazo - zinalipobe ku Ancient Egypt ndi Greece. Choncho, pomaliza kupanga mapangidwe a matabwa aika pafupifupi pafupifupi kutuluka. Anagwiritsira ntchito zinthu zamtengo wapatali kuti azitonthoza ndi akazi a ku Roma wakale, omwe akanatha kuyembekezera chikondi kwa mwamuna wawo, ndipo kugonana ndi srabs kunali koletsedwa. Zosowazo zidakuthandizidwa ndi chithandizo cha ziwalo zoberekera zamwamuna, zomwe zinapangidwa m'misonkhano yapadera.
Mipingo ya Chikatolika ndi Chiprotestanti inalimbikitsa chinthu choterocho. Komanso, m'zaka za zana la 18, makadinali anayesa kukopa papa kuti alankhule momasuka ndikuletsa okhulupirira kugwiritsa ntchito zidole zogonana. Zowonadi, pempholi silinayankhidwe - Pontiyo wanzeru anaganiza kuti tchalitchi sichiyenera kusokoneza moyo wapamtima wa mpingo.
Hitler sadakondweretsanso kuti pali mabitolo ogonana omwe amalephera kugulitsa malonda apamtima. Asilikali anayenera kubweretsa katundu wapamtima kuchokera ku mayiko oyandikana nawo.
Choipitsitsa kwambiri chinali amayi a Soviet, omwe sankaimira kuti kumadzulo kumadzulo kuli malo osangalatsa kwambiri, ndipo anapanga mitundu ina ya mazira ndi manja awo.
Timapita ku sitolo yogonana
Monga momwe mungayembekezere, zinthu zomwe zimawoneka kwambiri monga maild ndi vibrators. Ziwerengero zimati 43% mwa a Breton, 60% a amayi a ku America ndi 66% aakazi achi Germany ali ndi chidole chimodzi chogulitsidwa mu sitolo yogonana. Nanga bwanji akazi athu? Zikuoneka kuti anthu 4 peresenti ya anthu okhala mu malo osungirako Soviet amakhala ndi zinthu zogonana kwambiri.
Kufuna kwakukulu kwa anthu ogwedeza ndi mazira kuchokera kumbali imodzi kumasonyeza kuti amayi samapezako chiwerewere nthawi yachisangalalo komanso amakhala ndi zibwenzi. Komano, amayi a Kumadzulo amamasulidwa kwambiri muzogonana, ndipo chifukwa chake mosavuta zonse zoyesayesa zowonongeka zimasankhidwa. Komanso, kuyesera kukuthandizani kuti mumvetse bwino thupi lanu, ndipo pambuyo pake mukakhale ndi chisangalalo kuchokera ku kulankhulana kwa Spartner.
Kuyambira pa izi, anthu ogonana amalimbikitsa kuti apeze vibratoevdva osati mkazi aliyense, kukangana maganizo awo kuti chidolecho chingabweretse moyo wa kugonana ku msinkhu wabwino wapamwamba.