Ngakhale kuti zokhudzana ndi kugonana, kapena bacchanalia zamakhalidwe pa televizioni ndi m'manyuzipepala, ngakhale kuti zikuwoneka kuti zikufooka kwa ulamuliro wa banja, amayi ambiri, monga amuna, amayesetsa kupeŵa katatu a chikondi. Izi zimakhala zothandiza kumvetsetsa.
Chikondi chapatuko - machitidwe okhawo ndi osakhazikika. Makamaka ngati akuphatikizapo amuna okwatira. Monga lamulo, iwo amalekanitsa mofulumira atangomuka. Inde, pali zochitika zomwe mgwirizano wachitatu ulipo kwa zaka zambiri, koma nthawi zambiri kusakhulupirika kwa mnzanu kumakhala nthawi yovuta kwambiri pamoyo wa banja, zomwe zimayambitsa kukonzanso kwakukulu. Banja likhoza kusokoneza, zomwe zimachitika kawirikawiri, kapena mwamuna amasiya kugwirizana kwake kumbali, zomwe zimachitika kawirikawiri. Monga lamulo, njira yowonongeka kwa padera zitatu imakhala kupezeka kwa mkazi walamulo wa chigololo. Ndipo gawo lochepa chabe la zolemba ndi wokwatirana lingathe kukhala kwa zaka zambiri.
Ndipo komabe, pali zochitika pamene onse atatu amadziwa za katatu, koma amakhala chete. Kwa zaka makumi angapo, pangakhale zovuta kwa mwamuna amene palibe woperewera ndi mkazi amene wapambana. Pali wopambana mmodzi yekha - mwamuna mwiniwake. N'zosadabwitsa kuti amakhulupirira kuti njira yabwino kwambiri yowononga chikondi chamtunduwu ndiyeso la yemwe ali mmenemo mwa mmodzi. Mkhalidwe wa buku lolembedwa ndi mwamuna wokwatiwa, kawirikawiri ndi munthu yekha amene amatha kupanga chisankho ndi kuthetsa ubale "kwa atatu".
Ukapitiriza kukhala paubwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatirana, zimakhala zovuta kuti iwe uiwale chikondi cha munthu woteroyo. Pambuyo pake, kugwirizana ndi mwamuna wokwatira kumayesa kudzidalira kwa mkazi kotero kuti kuchoka mu ubale ndizovuta kwambiri pamene akhalapo nthawi yaitali. Ndipo komabe ndizofunikira! Ngati mukuganiza momwe mungaiwale chikondi cha mwamuna wokwatirana, muyenera kudziwa mfundo zingapo zomwe mungamange naye ubale.
Chinthu choyamba chimene muyenera kumvetsetsa ndi chakuti sikuti mkazi aliyense angathe kuona chikondi cha mwamuna wokwatiwa. Muyenera kufufuza zomwe munachita kale, maubwenzi m'banja la makolo. N'kutheka kuti mawu akuti "chikondi" akukhudzana ndi inu ndi mawu akuti "chisokonezo," "kunyozedwa," "kupweteka." Pankhaniyi, inu mosadziŵa mukhoza kufufuza moyo wonse kwa amuna ovuta, kuphatikizapo amuna okwatirana, chifukwa ubale wawo udzakuthandizani kuti mukhale ndi maganizo okhudzidwa nawo. Chizoloŵezi - sizitanthauza zabwino, ndipo zizoloŵezi zoipa zimayenera kuchotsa. Kuti mukhale ndi mwayi wakuiwala chikondi cha mwamuna yemwe ali ndi mphete yaukwati pa chala chake, muyenera kupeza mphamvu ndi kulimba mtima kuti muthane ndi zolemetsa zapitazo. Zowonongeka kwambiri komanso kusokoneza ubale pakati pa makolo anu pakati pawo, ndikofunika kwambiri kutembenukira kwa katswiri wamaganizo kuti athetse vutoli.
Chinthu chachiwiri chimene mkazi aliyense amene amaganizira momwe angaiwale chikondi cha mwamuna wokwatiwa ayenera kudziwa, izi ndi njira zowonjezera kudzidalira. Ubale ndi mwamuna wokwatira ndi vuto lodzidalira. Kawirikawiri, amayi omwe amapita kuzinthu zotere amakhala ndi kudzichepetsa. Amadziona ngati oipa, opusa, osayenera chikondi. Kusakhulupirira mwa inu nokha kumayambitsa mavuto mu ubale umene umangowonjezera ndi kulimbitsa kusakhulupirira uku. Icho chimakhala bwalo loipa: pansipa kudzidalira, omwe mumakopeka ndi amuna.
Kuwonjezera apo, amuna okwatira nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi chidwi chokhala ndi ubale ndi amayi awiri kapena kuposa, akhoza kutsanulira mafuta pamoto wa mavuto anu ndi kudzidalira. Amatsindika mwa njira zonse zomwe adapindula nazo chifukwa chakusungulumwa kwanu. Choncho, kutha kwa nkhani yotereyi, mayi nthawi zambiri amafuna kuti pakhale ndondomeko yowonetsera kuti mutha kukonda nokha. Njira yabwino yotereyi ndi kulemba mndandanda wa mitundu iwiri ya anthu. Mitundu yoyamba ya anthu - anzanu, mabwenzi anu, omwe amakuvomerezani ndi mtima wawo wonse, monga momwe muliri. Mtundu wachiwiri ndi anthu amene angayambe kukhala ndi maimpires. Iwo amakondwera kukukhumudwitsani inu, kuyesera kuti muwone bwino mmbuyo mwanu. Iwo akhoza kusangalala ndi chisokonezo chanu kapena zovuta zomwe munakumana nazo pa kutsutsidwa kwawo. Pofuna kubwezeretsa ulemu, mutatha kukonda mwamuna wokwatiwa, kwa kanthawi - mwezi umodzi kapena awiri - yesetsani kusokoneza bwalo lolankhulana. Anthu ochokera kumayambiriro a mndandanda ayenera kukhala mabwenzi anu auzimu komanso maziko a makhalidwe abwino. Ndipo anthu omwe amadziyesa okha ndi ndalama zanu, asiyeni iwo atenge mpata wokambirana ndi inu.
Buku lolembedwa ndi mwamuna wokwatirana ndi mayeso aakulu kwa mkazi yemwe amapereka chimwemwe ndi chisangalalo panthawi yomweyo. Pezani mphamvu pa nthawi kuti mumvetsetse zachabechabe za ubale wotere, pita ndipo yesani kukonda chikondi cha mwamuna wokwatiwa.