Vuto la kudalira chikondi

Anthu ambiri amadzifunsa funsoli, kodi pali kusiyana kotani pakati pa malingaliro monga chikondi ndi chikondi choledzera? Pambuyo pake, vuto la kudalira koteroko kuli ndi mbali ziwiri za ndalama. Mbali yoyamba imanena kuti tanthauzo la zimbalangondo zoterozo palokha kumadzimva kukhala osagwirizana ndi maganizo ndi chitonthozo. Gawo lachiwiri la ndalama limanenanso kuti kudalira ndi chikondi. Mwa kuyankhula kwina, ngati mumakonda munthu, ndiye kuti mumadalira iye. Kuti muzindikire ngati mukuvutika chifukwa chodalira chikondi, muyenera kumvetsetsa bwino mbali zomwe zimadalira ndikudalira anthu. Ngati munthu yemwe ali ndi mutu akubatizidwa m'maganizo ake ndi woimira mwamuna kapena mkazi ndipo chifukwa cha izi amadzimana yekha ngati munthu, kutaya mu chinthu chodzipembedzera, ndiye vuto lodziwika la chidaliro cha chikondi chiri choonekeratu. Koma muzochitika zomwe munthu amamvetsetsa mwanzeru zonse zomwe zimamuchitikira, amatha kulamulira maganizo ake ndi kumverera kwake ndipo samatayika mutu wake mu chikondi chowopsya cha chilakolako - chimayankhula za chiyanjano chokhazikika.

Nchifukwa chiyani amai ambiri samvetsa vuto lachizolowezi chokonda chikondi?

Malingana ndi kufotokoza kwa maganizo, mawu akuti "kukonda kwambiri" ndi matenda aumphawi, omwe nthawi zambiri omwe amaimira odwala operewera amavutika. Ndi kwa akazi kuti malingaliro omwe adawonekera kwa munthu amakhala okhudzidwa ndi chilakolako, ndipo amapeza mtundu wosiyana kwambiri ndi kugonjera kwa mwamuna. Panthawi imeneyi mkazi amadziwa kuti amadalira kwambiri wokondedwa wake ndipo sangathe kuchita chilichonse pamkhalidwe umenewu. Koma mwamuna, monga lamulo, sali wokonzeka kudziponyera yekha "mumphuno yamutu ndi mutu" ndikudzipereka yekha kumverera ndi kumverera, zomwe sitinganene za mkazi. Panthawi yochepa, ogonana omwe sali otha mphamvu sangathe kumvetsa: chifukwa chiyani mwamuna wokondedwa anayamba kudzipatula, samapewa misonkhano komanso kukambirana momasuka. Mayiyo amayamba "kumenya zida zake pakhomalo", ndikuti onse atulukemo. Chifukwa china chofunikira chomwe amai amagonjera ndikuti abambo omwe ali ofooka ali ofunikira kwambiri pa zonse zomwe akumva, komanso zambiri zomwe zimayambitsa kugonana ndi amuna kapena akazi anzawo. Chabwino, amuna, monga lamulo, amayamba kuganizira mozama za kugonana m'banja. Ndichifukwa chake malingaliro akuwonekeratu - ndipo amayi satsala kanthu koma akuvutika chifukwa chodalira chikondi.

Chikondi chimadalira bwanji chikondi?

Mkazi kuti apange munthu kukhala woyenera ndi tanthauzo la chirichonse, nthawi ndithu. Koma kwa mwamuna kuti amvetse kuti mkazi uyu ndi tanthauzo lake la moyo, zimatengera zoposa chaka chimodzi. Ndicho chifukwa amayiwa amadalira ubale wawo ndi akazi awo. Choncho tanthauzo la moyo ndi "mpweya", zomwe simungathe kupuma ndikukhala nazo, mwamuna amakhala mwa mkazi mofulumira komanso popanda malingaliro osafunika - ndipo izi, mwina, ndiye vuto lalikulu la kudalira. Zonsezi zimamukakamiza mayiyo kuti ali ndi chikhumbo chofuna kukondana ndi chibwenzi chake, kuwagwirizanitsa, kusunthira kumalo atsopano komanso msinkhu, komanso kukhala otetezeka pambuyo pawo. Mwa njira, izi zonse zikuphatikizidwa ndi msinkhu wathunthu, wosamvetsetseka, kusamvetsetsa za mkhalidwe ndi chikhulupiliro chosawona kuti munthu uyu si china koma chiwonongeko ndi chikondi cha moyo wonse. Kukhoza kuyang'anitsitsa ndikumvetsetsa momwe mkaziyo wataya kwathunthu.

Zifukwa zazikulu zomwe zimayambitsa zimakonda kukonda.

Vuto lachidaliro chodalira chikondi chimakhala chifukwa chakuti matendawa ndi ovuta kwambiri kuchiza ndipo ngati tiwayerekezera ndi zizoloŵezi zina za anthu, zidzatsimikizika kuti "matenda "wa ndi amphamvu kwambiri pakati pa ena. Mwamwayi, pakadali pano mulibe mankhwala osaphatikizapo moyo ndi chidziwitso chazimayi. Choncho kudalira kumeneku kumatha kutengera munthu ndipo kwa nthawi yaitali akulamulira maganizo ake, kumunyoza ngati munthu. Kuchotsa kukhumudwa kotereku, choyamba, ndi kovuta chifukwa kumakhudza kwambiri mbali ya moyo waumunthu. Ndipotu, kukonda kwambiri munthu, timayamba kukonzekera zam'tsogolo. Koma panthawi ina mkaziyo amadziwa kuti zolinga zake sizigwirizana ndi malingaliro a tsogolo la mwamuna wake. Apa ndi pamene mkazi ayamba kulandira mantha, amayamba kudziimba mlandu yekha, kuyesa kuzindikira zonse zomwe sapeza komanso zomwe zolakwa zake zikuluzikulu zili. Zonsezi zimapereka kufotokozera kosalekeza ndi kukhudzidwa kwa ubale ndi wokondedwa, ndipo chifukwa chake, mkaziyo alowa mu malo osatsekedwa, omwe palibe njira yothetsera.

Zizindikiro za kudalira.

Kudalira chikondi, monga zikhulupiliro zina zonse, zili ndichindunji ndi zofunikira zokhazokha. Mkaziyo amasintha khalidwe lake ndi maganizo ake kwa mwamuna. Iye nthawi zonse amayesera kutsimikizira chinachake kwa iye, kufotokoza ndi kumutsatira iye "pa zidendene", kulikonse kumene iye amapita. Komanso, pali nthawi zina zomwe zimasinthidwa mwadzidzidzi kuchokera ku zithumwa zosangalatsa mpaka kukhumudwa kwambiri. Ndipo, ndithudi, pa mpikisano wa maloto ake, mkazi amalephera kudzidalira.

Kuchotsa mankhwala ndi kalata "L".

Vuto lonse ndilosavuta komanso mofulumira kuthana ndi kudalira kwanu - ichi ndi chinthu choipa. Mankhwala aakulu apa ndi kuzindikira. Munthu ayenera kuzindikira komanso kumvetsa kuti kudalira uku kumamukoka pansi ndipo amafunikira thandizo la maganizo. Kotero, mu mkhalidwe uno, munthu wosokonezeka akhoza kuthandiza yekha, kuyesa "kupha" mwa iyemwini maganizo awa ndi kuyang'ana pa mkhalidwe wosiyana.