Momwe mungabwerere munthu atatha kupatukana: 6 zothandiza kwambiri kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo

Munthu wokondedwa akamachoka, moyo umakhala ngati filimu yakuda ndi yakuda, yomwe ilibe mitundu, malingaliro ndi khalidwe lalikulu. Ndipo popanda icho, kukhalapo kumasanduka zopanda pake. Mtima umagundabe chifukwa umayembekezera chozizwitsa ngati foni kapena maulendo osayembekezereka, ndipo wotsogolera mutu wamaganizo akufufuza mayankho pa chiopsezo chokhala mafunso ovuta. Chifukwa chiyani anasiya? Kodi munachita chiyani? Kodi n'zotheka kulosera ndi kuteteza kuchoka kwa wokondedwa? Ndipo ndi milungu yanji yoti abwerere kubwezeretsa munthu wotsika kwambiri padziko lapansi? Mwinamwake osati kwathunthu milungu, koma mphamvu zina pa kukwaniritsidwa kwa "chozizwitsa" ali ndi akatswiri a maganizo omwe amadziwa njira yolondola yobweretsera munthu ku chiyanjano, ndi mtendere wa mumtima - mumtima.

Kubwerera kapena kumasulidwa? Kupeza zolinga zenizeni

Pofufuza momwe akazi amachitira ndi chisamaliro cha amayi, akatswiri a maganizo amaganiza kuti nthawi zambiri sitikudziwa momwe tingayang'anire mkhalidwewo, komanso kutsogoleredwa ndi maganizo, zilakolako kapena zilakolako, timayesa, mosiyana ndi nzeru, kubwezeretsa iwo omwe sayenera kubwerera. Pankhaniyi, pofuna kuteteza psyche kupsinjika, ndi bwino kubwezeretsa cholinga ndi kumasula munthuyo, kumupatsa iye yekha ufulu wodzisangalatsa. Kufufuzira zolinga zenizeni zomwe zimatsogolera chikhumbo chobwezera munthu, zimatsimikizira ngati kuli koyeneranso kubwezeretsa chiyanjanocho. Khalani okhulupilika kwambiri ndi inu nokha ndikuyankha mafunso otsatirawa:

1. Ndikufuna kumubwezera, kuti chilungamo chikhoze kupambana, ndipo adazindikira kuchuluka kwake komwe analakwitsa pamene mwamanyazi anamusiya mkazi wabwino kwambiri pamoyo wake?
2. Ndikufuna kubwezeretsa, chifukwa izo zidzatha popanda ine, osadziwa kuti ndikufunikira kwenikweni ndipo ndikuzikonda ndekha?
3. Ndikufuna kubwezeretsanso, chifukwa popanda icho sindingathe kuchita chilichonse ndipo sindinapindule kwa aliyense?
4. Ndikufuna kuti anthu asanene kuti andiponyera ndikufalitsa mphekesera kuti ndine wosayenera kwa munthu woteroyo.
5. Ndikufuna kubwezeretsa, chifukwa sindinaponyedwepo - ndikuponya, ndipo ndikuponyera kuti ndibwezere?

Palibe mwazifukwa izi ndi chikondi chenicheni, chomwe chili choyenera kumenyana, ndi chomwe chili ndi ufulu wamoyo. Komabe, akatswiri a zamaganizo amati, vuto lopanda chiyembekezo lingakhale lopangidwa ndi chiyanjanitso, ngati mwadzidzimutsa mukusiya ufulu wokhala ndi munthu, mum'khululukire, musakumbukire zakale ndi kubwezera. Chikondi chosayenerera chamasunga maubwenzi ambiri.

Malangizo a akatswiri a zamaganizo momwe angabwerere munthu wokondedwa

Ngati cholinga chanu chobwezera munthu wachibadwidwe chimatsogoleredwa ndi malingaliro enieni, ndipo chifukwa cha kupatukana ndi kusamvetsetsa kwakukulu kapena kulakwitsa kopanda pake, konzekerani kuchita ntchito yaikulu pa zolakwitsa. Monga akunena, ngati simukukonda zomwe mumapeza, sintha zomwe mumapereka. Zidzakhala zofunikira kuphunzira kukhululukira, kulemekeza ndi kukonda osati wokhayokha wokondedwa pamtima, koma mwiniwake. Akatswiri a zamaganizo apanga ndondomeko yoyenerera ya zochita zomwe zingathandize kubwezeretsa chikondi cha munthu yemwe ali ndi chidaliro chakuti wapita kwamuyaya.

1. Lembani kale. Komabe palibe wina amene adatsitsimutsa chikondi mwa kukumba zodandaula zakale, zomwe zimatsutsana, zomwe zimatsutsidwa ndi kutsutsidwa. Inde, popanda kusanthula bwino zolakwitsa zakale, tsogolo labwino silidzafika. Komabe, kusanthula koteroko kuli koyenera kokha mpaka nthawi yomwe nkhani yakale imatha ndipo yatsopano imayamba ndi pepala latsopano lopanda kanthu.

2. Pause pothandiza. Kupuma kulikonse kumayambitsa ndewu ndi kufotokozera maubwenzi. Debriefing ndi yotopetsa kwambiri ndipo imatsitsa maganizo. Sizingatheke kuti dziko lino likhale losankha komanso labwino pankhani yokhudzana ndi tsogolo. Ngati mwamunayo wapita, musiyeni asiye. Chikondi chopita kunja chimafunika kuti mutenge. Musamukhumudwitse ndi mayitanidwe, musatenge smskami, musagwirizane ndi chigamulo, ngati sichivomerezedwe, ndipo musapangidwe. Chizunzo chidzamupangitsa kumva ngati wodwala. Wogwidwa, monga momwe akudziwira, nthawizonse amatha ntchentche.
3. Kukonda nokha. Mayi wina, amene mwamuna wake wamusiya, sangakwanitse kugwedeza nthawi yaitali. Tengani nthawi ya kuzunzika, ndikudya maswiti, kumalira misozi ndikumvetsera nyimbo zomveka, ndikuyamba "kuuka kuchokera phulusa." Sinthani zovala, zokongoletsa tsitsi, mawonekedwe ndi malingaliro. Samalani nokha, mudzaze ndi kukongola, chimwemwe ndi moyo. Ngati mwamuna akufuna kubwereranso, ndiye kuti mkazi watsopano, wobwezeretsedwa yemwe amadziwa kukonda ndi kudziyamikira yekha.

4. Sly "malonda". Umu ndi momwe munthu (makamaka mwamuna) amagwirira ntchito, kuti akufuna yekha zomwe sizingatheke komanso zodabwitsa. Khalani phunziro lachidziwitso kwa munthu wokondedwa. Chitani nokha malonda, osangalatsa. Mulole wokondedwayo adziwe kuti kuwala sikunabwere palimodzi pa iye, ndipo mkazi wokondweretsa, wokongola ndi womasuka monga iwe amakukondera. Unobtrusively amuuzeni kuti simungakumane ndi mnzanu, koma ndi munthu wosadziwika. Yankhani mafunso mobwerezabwereza ndi kuseketsa, kapena mobisa mwangokhala chete.
5. Lekani kugonana. Lembani lingaliro kuti munthu akhoza kubwezedwa kupyolera mu kama. Ngati izi zowona, ndiye kuti kugonana kumamuthandiza kumbali yanu pafupipafupi mpaka mutakalamba. Onetsani njira yomweyo ngati mwayi umenewu ukupezeka. Musamangokhalira kukangana ndi munthu mosapita m'mbali, ndipo musamulole kuti aganizire kuti mulipo pakhomo lake loyamba. Dzilemekezeni nokha, mwinamwake kugonana sikudzakhala chifukwa chokha komanso chachafupi chokhala pafupi ndi inu. Aloleni akufuna kukupindulitsani, monga zimachitikira ndi amayi omwe akufuna, omwe akufuna.

6. Kuleza mtima! Ndipo kachiwiri, chipiriro! Chilichonse chimapezeka kuchokera kwa omwe angayembekezere. Imeneyi ndi ntchito yovuta, koma iwo osasiya manja awo asanalandire mphoto yabwino. Mulimonsemo simuyenera kumuwonetsa mwamunayo kuti ndinu wopenga za kulekanitsidwa ndikukonzekera kupereka moyo kwa satana chifukwa cha chikondi chake. Kuleza mtima kwa amayi kumapangitsa amuna osaka nyama omwe amayembekezera kuti atsikanawo adziwonetsere pa siliva ndi malire a buluu. Kodi mukusowa wina yemwe adzayenera kugwira ntchito moyo wake wonse, kukwaniritsa udindo wa amuna mu chiyanjano?