Koma kawirikawiri chisankho chovuta choterechi chimapangidwira mopanda phindu, popanda kuyeza zonse zomwe zimapindulitsa ndi kudzipweteka, kudalira zokha zokhazokha popanda kulingalira mozama ndi kulingalira za njira zina zomwe zingathetsere kuthetsa mkangano, kapena kunja kwa mkhalidwewo.
Zaka zaposachedwapa, ziwerengero za kusudzulana zimakhala zomvetsa chisoni, zomwe zimasonyeza kukhala ndi maganizo okhudzana kwambiri ndi ukwati, kuuma ndi kulephera, kapena mmalo mwake, kuthekera kuyankhulana, m'mabanja ang'onoang'ono. Lingaliro limaperekedwa pa lokha, za kuthekera kwa zotsatira zotero kwa iwoeni, chifukwa iwo samatsimikizira motsutsa izi. Koma ndi bwino kukumbukira kuti mulimonsemo, chirichonse chimadalira pa inu, ndipo muyenera kudziwa momwe mungadzitetezere ku chilekano m'banja.
Kulenga banja ndi ntchito, mwinamwake yovuta kwambiri ndi yosangalatsa kwambiri pa mitundu yonse yomwe tingathe kuchita. Pokhala ndi luso lotero sali obadwa, iwo amaphunzira moyo wonse, kudalira pa zochitika, zonse zaumwini ndi zakunja. Inde, tonsefe timatha kulakwitsa, koma ndi ochepa okha omwe angawathandize.
Nchifukwa chiyani anthu amatha kusudzulana?
Moyo wa banja, mu mawonetseredwe ake onse, umapempha kuti okwatirana azikhala okhwima mwauzimu, udindo ndi kumvetsetsa pa chinthu chofunikira chomwe akuchitapo. Pambuyo pake, kulengedwa kwa banja sikumakhala chikondwerero chosatha chaukwati. Ndipo pambuyo pa phwando lachisangalalo, masiku akuda amabwera, omwe nthawi zambiri amasiyana ndi malingaliro athu ponena za kukhala pamodzi.
Kuchokera pamalingaliro a akatswiri a maganizo, tingathe kusiyanitsa zifukwa zambiri zomwe zimayambitsa kuthetsa m'banja:
Kusagwirizana kwa anthu. Ziribe kanthu momwe izo zingamvekere, koma chifukwa chachikulu cha kuthetsa ndizosiyana kwambiri ndi zolembazo. Ndipo ngati wina ayankha funso chifukwa chake "sanakumane ndi anthu," musati muzitenge ngati chizindikiro, ndipo simukufuna kunena za zowona. Lingaliro lofanana ndi khalidwe la umunthu limatipanga ife omwe ife tiri. Panthawi ya kugwa m'chikondi, timayesetsa kusonyeza makhalidwe athu, m'nthawi ya moyo wathu pamodzi ndikukhala kwathunthu. Chifukwa cha kusintha uku, mikangano imayamba.
- kusadetsedwa maganizo. Monga tafotokozera pamwambapa, kusakondana kwapachibale, komanso kusafuna kukhala limodzi, nthawi zonse kumabweretsa chisudzulo. Izi ndi zoona makamaka kwa okwatirana omwe akwatiwa ali aang'ono komanso ena chifukwa cha chidwi.
- Utsogoleri kutsogolera. Aliyense akhoza kukhala mtsogoleri, koma m'banja, monga mbali ina iliyonse ya moyo wathu, wina ayenera kutsogolera, ndipo wina ayenera kumvera. Ngati palibe amene akufuna kuti alowe m'banja, banja lidzawonongedwa.
Kodi ndingatani kuti banja langa lisagonje?
Momwe mungapulumutsire banja kuchokera pa chisudzulo, ndikusunga mtendere ndi ulesi pamenepo, ngakhale pali zinthu zambiri, akatswiri a maganizo amadziwa.
Monga momwe chiwonetsero chimasonyezera - chifukwa cha chisudzulo, ichi ndi chifukwa chothandizira kusintha mgwirizano muwiri. Mwina ubale wanu wataya kale mitundu yake yakale, ndipo iyenera kusinthidwa pang'ono. Kusudzulana kungawonedwe kukhala kofanana, cholinga china chokhalira kugwedezeka maganizo, zirizonse zomwe zingakhalepo. Ndiye bwanji mukudziwonetsera nokha kukhumudwa, ngati mungathe kupanga chitsimikizo?
Mofananamo, kusunga mtendere m'banja, kusamvana sikuyenera kupeĊµa. Kusamvana ndikulankhulana. Kawirikawiri mwa njira iyi, anthu amatha kulankhulana zosakhutira kapena zofuna wina ndi mzake. Choncho, banja loyenerera lingaganizidwe kuti palibe limodzi lomwe liribe mkangano, koma momwe angathetsere. Ndipotu, ndifunikanso kudziwa ubalewu.
Phunzirani kuvomereza zolakwa zanu ndikupempha chikhululuko. Mawu akuti "kukhululukirana" amatanthauza chimodzi mwa zovuta kwambiri, popeza kugwiritsa ntchito kwake kumatanthauza kulandira kulakwa, ndipo palibe amene akufuna kudziimba mlandu. Koma, mu ubale wa banja, malo odzitukumula sali oyamba, kotero kuvomereza kulakwitsa, ndi kukhoza kupempha chikhululukiro ndi kukhululukidwa n'kofunika kwambiri.
Cholakwika china chimene mabanja ambiri amachita pafupifupi tsiku ndi tsiku ndi kusamutsira mavuto a ntchito ku banja. Izi sizikutanthawuza kuti mutu wa ntchito kuyambira tsopano ndi wovuta kwa inu, ingolandira chithandizo kapena malangizo omwe mukufunikira popanda kutulutsa mkwiyo wanu kapena kusakhutira kwa munthu wina pafupi ndi inu. Apo ayi, ntchitoyo idzadzaza moyo wanu wonse, kuchotseramo banja. Pankhaniyi, chisudzulo m'banja sichingapewe.
Makolo.
Kawirikawiri zimayambitsa chisudzulo ndi makolo. Izi sizikuchitika kokha ku mfundo yakuti chifukwa cha chilakolako chothandizira iwo ali okonzeka kukhala moyo wa banja lachinyamata, musalole kupita ndikudzipangira nokha. Ziri zambiri za maubwenzi m'mabanja a okwatirana. Anthu kuyambira ubwana amakonda kutsanzira khalidwe la makolo awo, ndiyeno amasamutsira ku moyo wawo wa banja lawo. Kusiyana kwakukulu mu zolemba za banja za makolo a mkwati ndi mkwatibwi, posakhalitsa akhoza kubereka zipatso zawo zoipa. Kotero, musanati muike sitampu mu pasipoti yanu, yang'anani momwe wosankhidwa wanu amagwiritsidwira ntchito kuti mukhale ndi moyo, posachedwa mudzapezapo izi.
Chinthu chachikulu mu moyo wa banja sikuti tiyang'ane zifukwa zotsutsana, ndiye palibe chifukwa chofuna kusudzulana.