Kodi mungatani kuti musamayende bwino? Tiyeni tione izi!
Nthawi zonse timapereka zizindikiro. Amatithandizanso kusintha khalidwe lathu malingana ndi momwe amakondera ena kapena ayi. Mukakhala mu chikondi, izi ndi zizindikiro monga "Ndikukondani", "Ndikufuna kukhala ndi inu". Ndipo pamene munthu sakukondwera nanu, mumayamba kumusiyanitsa - "pita," "Sindikufuna iwe," "Sindikusowa iwe," ndiko kuti, ukuwonetsa nkhanza. Mwachilungamo, ndiyenera kunena kuti ambirife timachita mosadziwa, ndikuyesera kukhala ngati anthu abwino, ndiko kuti, mopanda malire. Chifukwa chake, akatswiri a zamaganizo adatcha "kukana kwa zipangizo" osati chiwawa.
Kusiyanitsa nthawi zonse kumakhala kovuta. Koma chinthu chimodzi, pamene sasamala za inu, kusintha kapena kumenya, kapena mumalumbira. Ndiye chomaliza chimawoneka kuti ndi choyenera. Ndipo ndi zina-kunena kanthu, zachabechabe "tiyeni tipange" kwa munthu amene mwakhala naye zaka zingapo, amene anatha kukhala gawo la moyo wanu ndipo sanakuchitireni nkhanza ...
Zosasangalatsa, ndi ziti zomwe munganene. Zosasangalatsa mwanjira ina. Zimatuluka, ngati ali wabwino, ndipo mumuponya, ndiye kuti ndinu woipa? Inde, ngati mwagwiritsidwa ntchito kugawa dziko kukhala loipa ndi labwino. Pachifukwa ichi, wina ayenera kukhala wolakwa, ndipo zimakhala kuti iwe udzakhala wolakwa ngati mumusiya. Kotero inu musataye mtima, kugonjera, "kunyamula mtanda wanu." Ndipo ngati kwa iye moyo woterewu ukuwoneka wosasamvetseka, chabwino, iye ndi womasuka kuti achoke yekha, kukuponyera iwe, wokhotakhota monga choncho ... Ndipo pomwepo iwe udzayendetsa phokoso ndi mapiko, ndipo iwe, ndi abwenzi achisomo, mudzatenga nyanga ndi mchira. Chimene chikanatsimikiziridwa ...
Kuchita zachiwawa ndi khalidwe la anthu omwe amasankha kusiya chirichonse kwa wina aliyense. Kwa omwe sakufuna kukula. Amachita ngati ana, samatha kumvetsa mmene amamvera, amasonyeza mawu awo "Ndikufuna" ndi "sindikufuna". Koma ana sangathe, koma umunthu wa infantile suwufuna. Ndipotu nkofunikira kutenga udindo pa zochitikazo, mwinamwake, kuti mukumva kuti muli ndi vuto, ndipo, zitha, izo ndizokha zidzathetsa.
Udindo ndi kudzimvera zimayendera limodzi, chifukwa ndizosiyana mitundu: udindo ndi lingaliro, kudziimba mlandu ndikumverera. Izi zikutanthauza kuti kuvomereza udindo wa munthu kumapangitsa munthu kukhala ndi chilakolako chodziimba mlandu - ndipo izi ndi zachilendo, zomwe zimakhala zolakwa zowonongeka zimatsogolera kukula ndi chitukuko cha munthu payekha. Inde, ndizosasangalatsa kudzimva kuti ndi wolakwa, makamaka pamene simukudziwa kuti kuli kovuta kusiya mnyamata. Mwatsoka, malingaliro a anthu ogula malonda amachititsa kuti phindu lachitukuko ndi kupweteka likhale lofunika, ndikumangopweteka. Moyo, monga momwe malonda akusonyezera, ayenera kukhala chisangalalo chonse, ndipo chotero zimawoneka zachilengedwe kuti ambiri safuna kutenga maudindo omwe angachititse ena kuwawa. Koma kodi mukuganiza kuti moyo weniweni sungathe kuvulaza aliyense?
Gulu lina la anthu omwe amasonyeza chisokonezo ndi anthu omwe sangatchedwe nkhanza. Amapewa mwadala mikangano ndi mikangano iliyonse, chifukwa nthawi zina sadziwa momwe angakhalire, mantha, osadziŵa kuti akuwopsyeza moyo. Iwo amamvetsa ndi malingaliro awo kuti sizikawoneka kuti mbali "yokhumudwitsidwa" idzawapha ndi kuzidya. Koma malingaliro oterewa amaikidwa mu ubwana, ndipo kwa mwana mkwiyo wa makolo, womwe moyo wake umadalira, umatanthawuza mwangozi. Ndipo pamene mwana amakula m'dera losadziŵika bwino, osamvetsetsa chomwe chimzake chotsatira chikhoza kukwiyitsa kwambiri makolo ake, amaphunzira kudutsa maulendo amodzi mu ubale, nthawi zambiri amanyalanyaza zofuna zake. Ndi kosavuta kuti munthu wotereyo asazindikire vuto, kusiyana ndi kukambirana. Ndipo adzalandira nthawiyo, asamacheze, asadziwe kuti palibe chomwe chimachitika kuti asamalankhulane bwino. Njira zikhoza kukhala zovuta kwambiri - kuyambira nthawi yochedwa mpaka nthabwala zosatha. Oyendetsa njoka, mwa njira, akuwonetseratu zochitika zokhudzana ndi zachiwawa: amazindikira zizindikiro za mkuntho wapafupi ndikupeza njira yothetsera vutoli ndi chithandizo cha kuseketsa.
Wosakanikirana nthawi zonse amamuyesa munthu wina, kumukakamiza kuganiza kuti akumva bwanji ndipo amamugonjetsa. Mwa iwo omwe amasankha khalidwe lopsa mtima, pali ena amene amapewa kusiyana, osati chifukwa iye mwini amawopa ululu, koma chifukwa amantha kumupangitsa mnzakeyo.
Makhalidwe oterewa ali oopsa kale chifukwa munthu amakana moyo wake, akusintha ntchito za kukula kwake ndi kuzindikira kwa wina: "Musiyeni (a) achite zomwe ndikufuna." Choncho munthu sangaphunzire kuchita zomwe akufunikira. Koma kukana kupeza chidziwitso chofunikira sikungathetsere kufunikira kwake. Ngakhale izo zikugwirizana ndi mikangano yowawa. Kutenga udindo pa zomwe munthu wina akumva ndi mtundu wapadera wa megalomania. Zimatanthawuza kuti timayendetsa maganizo a anthu ena, ndipo izi si zoona.
Ndikofunika kumvetsetsa kuti kwa munthu, khalidwe lachiwawa ndi mapeto, ndipo msungwanayu sangadziwe kuti kuli kosavuta kusiya mnyamata. Zimalepheretsa kuyankhulana - maziko enieni a chiyanjano chilichonse. Ndipo pamene banjali lidapatukana, izi sizimathetsa mavuto a anthu awiri: palibe amene amamvetsa kanthu, maphunziro sanagwemo ndipo m'tsogolomu pali mwayi waukulu wopitilira payekha.
Ngati pali mavuto mu maubwenzi awiri, nthawi zonse zimakhala zothandiza kutchula. Kuyesera kusokoneza sizongopeka chabe, komanso kusasokoneza. "Aloleni amvetse kuti ndikudwala" kapena "sizikudziwika bwino momwe ndikuvutikira" - ichi ndi chitsanzo cha khalidwe la mwana, pamene mayi akuganiza kuti mwana sakonda chinachake chifukwa cha kulira kwake kapena maonekedwe ena osalankhula. Mu moyo wachikulire (moyo wokhudzana ndi anthu awiri ofanana) palibe amene akuyenera kulingalira maganizo a ena, kumvetsa ena popanda mawu. Nthawi zina zimatha, koma siziyenera. Ndipo chifukwa chake njira yokhayo yobweretsera munthu yemwe mukukhala naye pafupi, kuti mu ubale wanu muli vuto lalikulu, ndikulankhula naye. Komanso, ndiyenera kunena, izi ziyenera kuchitika, osati pamene inu nokha mukuwonetsa khalidwe laukali, komanso pamene mukuzindikira kuti njira zoterezi zimagwiritsidwa ntchito kwa inu. Ndipo, poyambitsa kukambirana kotere, nkofunika kuti muuzeni zomwe zikukukondetsani inu, sizikugwirizana ndi inu, ngakhale kukupangitsani inu kukwiyitsa - popanda kulembera kapena kutsutsa mnzanuyo momwe mumamverera mwanjira iyi, ndipo ayi. Ndipo, ndithudi, kambiranani zomwe inu nokha mwakonzeka kuchita kuti mumvetse bwino. Ngakhale nthawi zina kukambirana kotere kungakhale chimodzi mwazochita. Pambuyo pake, kukambirana za mavuto ndi chizindikiro cha kusasamala kwanu kwa munthu wapafupi.
Mwachidziwitso, khalidwe lachiwawa ndilo chizindikiro cha tsikuli, chifukwa tikuyendayenda kuchoka kwa wina ndi mzake, ndikusankha kwenikweni. Chilichonse chimene munganene, kulankhulana kwa magetsi (kudzera pa intaneti kapena ma sms-app) ndi mwayi waukulu kubisa maganizo enieni: nkhope yanu siwoneka, simungamve mawu, ndipo mukhoza kuganiza pa mawu ndi kulembanso mobwerezabwereza momwe mumakonda. Mutha kutero, popanda kufotokozera chilichonse, kuchoka ku malo omwe mungapezeke: "O, ndikupepesa, foni yam'manja inatayidwa (" ICQ "inagwa, makalata anaphimbidwa, ndi zina zotero)." Kumayambiriro, pamene palibe ubale, ndithudi, idzagwira ntchito: munthuyo adzakuitanani kamodzi kapena kawiri, ndipo adzaima - inde, kwa inu mpaka pano kuwala sikubwera pamodzi ndi mphete. Koma anthu ena amagwiritsa ntchito njira iyi, ngakhale pamene chiyanjanocho n'chosiyana, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti mwaphunzira kale kuti mumvetsetse. Izi zikutanthauza kuti amachita mogwirizana ndi kachitidwe kawirikawiri, popanda kudzipangitsa kukhala ndi vuto loganiza, ndi zomwe kwenikweni maubwenzi athu amafuna ndi zomwe munthuyu akufuna kuchokera kwa inu.
Ndipo ngati simukufuna kuwataya (ndi chiyanjano, ndi munthuyo), muyenera kukhala okonzeka kuti mufunikire kupeza uphungu kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo. Akatswiri amati, mwatsoka, zimakhala zovuta kwambiri kuthana ndi zofuna zapadera (ziribe kanthu - payekha kapena ndi mnzanu). Tiyenera kugwira ntchito mwakhama, kumvetsetsa ndi kuvomereza vutoli, kuzindikira mizu yake (yomwe imayesedwa mosadziwika kuti silingathe kuwonedwa), ndipo pokhapokha, atapeza njira yothetsera vutoli mothandizidwa ndi katswiri. Koma ngati chikondi chanu nonse ndi chokwera mtengo, zikutanthauza kuti ndizofunika.