Makhalidwe osayenera chifukwa cha kukhumudwa kwa maganizo

Nthawi zambiri timadandaula kuti: "N'kosatheka kumvetsa munthu uyu - akuchita zosayenera!" Kapena kumbukirani mnzanu: "Nditatha kulankhulana naye ndimamva kuti ndathyoledwa ..." Psyche yathu yathu imakonzedwa kotero: chinthu choyamba chimene chimachitika ndikuyesera kupeza chifukwa chodziwika zinthu zake ndi zodabwitsa. Izi zikupezeka mndandanda wonse: maphunziro oipa kapena chikhalidwe, "ali ndi zongowonjezera, mungachite chiyani?", "Iye ndi woyambirira" ... Pamene mawonetseredwe oterewa akukhala oyamba, timapempha funso - mwinamwake silidali m'chikhalidwe ndipo izi ndifotokozera za sayansi? Zoonadi, chifukwa cha khalidwe losayenera lingakhale vuto la maganizo, limene munthu analandira kuyambira ali mwana. Monga lamulo, iye sakudziwa izo, koma zimakhudza khalidwe pamene munthu wamkulu. Taganizirani mitundu itatu yofala kwambiri: munthu woopsa, waukali, ndi wodalirika. ZOKHUDZA NDI ZOCHITA
Kawirikawiri timakumana ndi vuto pamene mnzathu (kapena kuti kunja kwa kunja) akutitumizira ife zosowa zosafunika kwenikweni kwa ife, ndipo nthawi zina ngakhale zowonongeka chabe. Tangoganizani, inu mumabwera ku salon kuti mukonze tsitsi, ndipo mbuye akuntchito akuyamba kukuuzani momwe zinthu zilili pamoyo wake zoipa: ndipo ana safuna kuphunzira, ndipo abambo amapeza ndalama zochepa, ndipo katunduyo amawononga galu ... Inu mumakhala, poddakivaete, ndipo inu nokha mukuganiza, pamene chigumulachi chitha. Ndipo mutatha kuchoka ku salon, mumamva ngati kuti muli ndi mandimu, ngakhale kuti musanayambe ulendo wopita kumsika, mumakhala wokondwa komanso wokondwa.

Ndani ali patsogolo panu?
Kwa mtundu uwu, pali maina ovomerezeka: munthu woopsa kapena maganizo "vampire". Chizindikiro-mumamva kuti ndinu wofooka kwambiri. Kulankhulana, mumamvetsa kuti simuli naye chidwi - m'malo mwanu mungakhalepo. Anthu owopsa amayankhula okha, samamvera maganizo a ena. Iwo sali, chirichonse ndipo palibe aliyense wokhutiritsa. Amatsutsa, kutsutsa, kunyoza kapena kufuna thandizo lanu, komanso nthawi zambiri - mofulumira. Kawirikawiri amawoneka ngati "kupitila" pamtundu wina, panjira akuchititsa manyazi ndi kunyoza. Pochita izi, amachita ngati kuti palibe chomwe chinachitika - kuchokera pa maganizo awo, pazokambirana zadziko.

Choncho, mnzanga wina pamsonkhano nthawi zonse akuti: "Mukuwoneka wotopa ... Khungu lanu ndi loipa, imvi. Kodi simunapume bwinobwino? Ndipo n'zotheka kuthetsa vutoli, lolondola? "N'zoonekeratu kuti" kutamanda "kotereku kumatha, ngati buluni yomwe mwatuluka mwachangu ndi mwana ... Anthu ambiri, powona mkazi uyu, amasamukira kutsidya lina la msewu. Koma mukhoza kudzimvera chisoni: mawonekedwe osasinthika, osakhoza kuvala bwino, osakhutira ndi ntchito (mmalo mwa ntchito ya woimba, zomwe iye walota, udindo wa namwino) ndi moyo wake. Zikuwoneka kuti akuwopa kuti adzafunsidwa chifukwa chake sakuyimba komanso chifukwa chake mwamuna wake adamusiya? Choncho, akuukira poyamba. Njira ya anthu onyozeka imachititsa kuti anthu azikhumudwa.

Nchifukwa chiyani iwo anakhala choncho?
Ali ndi khalidwe loipa pakati pa anthu, ndipo mizu ya vutoli iyenera kuyang'aniridwa ali mwana. "Toxicity" ikhoza kukhala chifukwa cha chisokonezo chamkati cha munthu - amawona paliponse nsomba, sichimabwereza komanso samasintha kwa wina. Amatenga malo otetezeka poyerekeza ndi ena, koma nthawi zambiri amaukira.

Mukuchita bwanji?
Ngati uyu ndi mnzanu, yang'anani mtunda. Akudandaula za wogwira ntchito wina? Nenani: "Ndibwino kuti ulembere izi kwa bwana" kapena "Mwinamwake muyenera kutembenukira kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo?" Sitikudziwa kuti adzachita izi (kumbukirani kuti amva okha okha - maganizo anu sali okondweretsa kwa iwo), koma kotero mudzadzipulumutsa nokha kuipa. Lankhulani mwachidwi ndi kumwetulira - munthu woopsayu akuyembekezera kuchepa. Choyenera, simuyenera kulola munthu woteroyo kuti alowe m'moyo wanu. Ngati nthawi zambiri amaitana, musatenge foni. Atayamba kufotokozera chifukwa chake simukufuna kulankhula, adzalandira zomwe akusowa - zomwe mumachita. Musakhale wokhumudwa pokangana ndi iye. Ngati zofunda zake sizigwira ntchito, posachedwapa ayamba kukuputa.

KUFUNIKA KWA CHIKONDI
Mtsikana wina wa zaka 5 anati: "Mayi, kodi ndingathe kusewera m'bokosi la mchenga?" "Ayi, mukhoza kuvulaza diresi." - "Kodi ndikhoza kusewera ndi ana pabwalo?" "Ayi, sindikufuna kuti mukhale oipa ngati iwo aliri." - "Kodi ndingakhale ndi ayisikilimu?" "Ayi, iwe ukhoza kugwira khosi lako." - "Kodi ndimasewera ndi mwana uyu?" "Ayi, akhoza kukhala ndi mphutsi." Pamapeto pa zokambiranazi, mwanayo akuyamba kulira, ndipo amayi anga akutembenukira kwa bwenzi, omwe nthawi yonseyi analankhula mosangalala ndipo nthawi yomweyo anayankha mafunso a mwana wake wamkazi: "Ndili ndi msungwana wotere! Sindingathe kupirira nthawi zonse! "

Ndani ali patsogolo panu?
Munthu wokhudzana ndi ubongo. Poyamba, anthu ngati amayi awa amatchedwa "ovuta kwambiri," "akukayikira mopambanitsa," ndi "osokoneza." Pamtima wa neurosis ndi mkangano wamkati.

Sigmund Freud ankakhulupirira kuti pano palikumenyana kotereku (zozizwitsa) ndi mphamvu zopondereza (chikhalidwe, makhalidwe). Ndipo Neo-Freudian Karen Horney ankakhulupirira kuti "vuto la mitsempha limakhalapo ngati mkangano umenewu umabweretsa nkhawa." Munthu wokhudzana ndi ubongo nthawi zonse amayesa kukopa chidwi - amatsenga (hysterical neurosis), mantha ndi phobias (nkhawa-phobic), weakness (neurasthenia).

Nchifukwa chiyani iwo anakhala choncho?
Anthu omwe ali ndi matendawa amayang'ana mavuto, osati njira zothetsera mavuto, kukambirana mavuto, kupeza zovuta zatsopano. Nkhawa imakuchititsani kudandaula ndi okondedwa anu, polepheretsa zochita zawo. Pamtima ndikumverera kuti ena alibe chidwi ndipo samamvetsa. Amakhulupirira kuti umunthu wamtunduwu unapwetekedwa m'maganizo kuyambira ali mwana, womwe sungathe kupirira nawo, ndipo adachita mantha kwambiri chifukwa cha kusowa thandizo. Chilakolako chovomerezedwa ndi ena chimamuyendetsa komanso ali wamkulu.

Mukuchita bwanji?
Chofunikira cha chikondi chimene tingathe kumverera sichikukhudzana ndi inu. Munthu wina wokhudzidwa ndi ubongo amakulozerani inu chithunzi cha mmodzi wa makolo, amene iye analibe chidwi. Choncho, chikondi chanu chidzakhala chochepa nthawi zonse. Nthawi zina mumamva kuti mukatha kulankhula naye muli otopa kwambiri, kapena muli okwiya chifukwa chosadziwika. Ichi ndi chizindikiro choti muyenera kudziyang'anira nokha tsopano. "Patsani" chidwi chadodometsedwa - chuma chanu sichingakhalitse.

NGATI KUCHITIRA
Mayi onse moyo wake unali wovuta kwambiri kuyankhulana ndi mlongo wake wamkulu - pakati pawo zaka 10 zosiyana. Woyamba - banja: mwamuna ndi ana. Mlongo wamkuluyo wasudzulana, amakhala mwapadera. Ndipo madzulo aliwonse amamuitana wamng'ono kuti afunsane pazinthu zina. Ndipo sakupempha pempho mwachindunji, koma akufunsa funso ndikumuyembekezera kuti ayambe kuchita zomwe angagule m'sitolo asanayambe kukakumana ndi makasitomala atsopano omwe achinyamata sakudziwa kanthu ...

Ndani ali patsogolo panu?
Munthu wodalirika. Chosowa chawo chofunikira ndikusintha zambiri za zisankho ndi udindo wawo kwa ena. Iwo amamasinthasintha nthawi zonse pamene kuli kofunikira kufotokoza maganizo, sangathe kupanga chisankho chomaliza, ngakhale pamene chiri chowonekera. Iwo amaganiza kuti iwo apitirizabe kulakwitsa kapena kusankha cholakwika. Amakhala ndi malingaliro opanda pake, kotero ngati munthu woteroyo akugawana ndi mnzawo, ayenera kumadzaza ndi wina kapena china chake.

Nchifukwa chiyani iwo anakhala choncho?
Pamtima mwa izi ndizopweteketsa maganizo zomwe amatha kulandira kuyambira ali mwana. Makolo a munthu wodalirika, mwinamwake, anabalalitsidwa ndipo sanamufotokozere kwa mwana zomwe zinachitika, pokhapokha ngati atapatsidwa. Ndipotu, anatsala yekha, ndipo kusungulumwa kwa mwana kuli ngati imfa. Choncho, pa moyo wachikulire, umayesedwa ndi mantha a kusungulumwa kwadziko lonse ndi kufunika kokonzekera paokha ... Monga momwe akadali mwana, pamene palibe munthu wamkulu.

Mukuchita bwanji?
Ngati wachibale wanu kapena mnzanu ayandikira kufotokozera, ndiye kuti mukudziwa kale zomwe zikuchitika kwa iwo komanso zomwe zisanachitike. Yang'anirani munthu woteroyo, koma chitetezeni malire ake - wodalirika amawaphwanya mosavuta. Musapitirire pafupi - kuchepetsa uphunguwo, musandilole kuti ndisinthe udindo wanu kwa inu. Makolo inu simungakhoze kumutsatira iye, ndipo mmalo mwa moyo wake, muzikhala moyo wina.