Iyi ndi nthawi yoopsa kwambiri pa moyo wa amuna - zaka 40-50. Pazaka izi zikuyamba kufotokoza zotsatira za moyo, nthawi zina zimawoneka zokhumudwitsa. Anthu ambiri amanena kuti moyo ulibe tanthauzo lake, ndipo yesetsani kupeza. Kawirikawiri, amuna amapeza chipulumutso mu chiyanjano chatsopano - zaka zambiri ndizo chiwerengero chachikulu cha chigololo. Panthawiyi, ndi ochepa okha omwe amasankha ukwati watsopano ...
Makhalidwe a mwamuna wokwatiwa pambuyo pa makumi anai akulamulidwa ndi vuto la zaka za pakati. Pafupifupi mabanja onse anazipeza. Kawirikawiri, mwamunayo "wopusa". Winawake anatenga ngakhale sutikesiyo ndipo anasiya. Zoona, ambiri a iwo sutikesi iyi kumbuyo kwa chitseko amaika mkazi wovulala atazindikira kuti chiwanda chinagwedeza nthiti. Ndipo pachabe ...
Pamene munthu wamisala akugogoda pamphepete, mwamuna (makamaka pa chiyambi cha "kusinja") safuna kusiya banja lake. Iye sakuyang'ana mkazi watsopano - akuyang'ana kutsogolo kwatsopano, moyo watsopano wogonana, kutsutsidwa kwatsopano. Chifukwa cha zaka 15 mpaka 25 zaukwati (tikukamba za banja lachitsanzo chabwino), kukhudzika mtima kwa mkazi wake kwakhala kotopetsa. Ndipo izi ndi zachilengedwe, ngakhale amayi safuna kuvomereza ndi zoonekeratu. Tonsefe tikufuna kukhulupirira kuti kukondana kosatha kumatha nthawi yonse. Tsoka ... Chikondi-chikondi kupyolera mu zaka zingapo za moyo wa banja pang'onopang'ono kusandulika kukhala wamtendere. Ena amati ndi chizoloŵezi. Ayi, osati mwa chizoloŵezi - mu chiyanjano, mu ubale wapamtima wauzimu, chiyanjano cha moyo. pamene onse awiri okondana amakhala okondana wina ndi mzake (osachepera, kotero ziyenera kukhala).
Komabe, nthawi imapita, ndipo patapita zaka makumi anai mu chidziwitso cha munthu "belu" chochititsa mantha. Amamva kuti akutha mphamvu yogonana. Ndipotu izi ndi zachilendo: chiwerengero cha chiwerewere cha kugonana kolimba chikugwa pa zaka 30-33, ndipo pambuyo pa zaka 37-40, kuchepa kwake kwachilengedwe kumabwera. Koma mwamunayo akuwopa: "Pang'ono pokha, ndipo ndine wokalamba ?! Koma sindinakhalenso ndi moyo - monga momwe amalembera m'mabuku, monga momwe amaonera filimuyo. Inde izo sizingakhoze kukhala, ine ndikutsimikizira zomwe ine ndingakhoze kuchita. Ndikofunika kupeza mkazi wotere, kotero kuti anditsogolere! "Ndipo zimayamba zovuta zonse. Koma mwamuna pambuyo pa zaka makumi anayi amatsimikizira kuti mkazi winayo ndi ambuye, chifukwa mkazi wake wovomerezeka ali wokondwa naye - ngati bwenzi lenileni la moyo, mbuye wabwino, mayi wabwino wa ana ake.
Makhalidwe a mwamuna wokwatiwa amachititsa kusokonezeka kwauzimu, kumverera kwatsopano, amamva bwino. Kodi mukudziwa zomwe akuganiza panthawiyi? Ziribe kanthu momwe wina saphunzirira kanthu. Iye ndi wantchito wabwino, mwamuna wachikondi ndi bambo. Ndipo chokondweretsa kwambiri, panthawiyi akhoza kukhala ndi ubale wabwino kwambiri ndi mkazi wake. Amamupatsa mphatso, kumpsompsona m'mawa, masamba kumagwira ntchito, kumpsompsonana, nthawi yobwerera kuntchito, usiku - kugonana kwambiri. Iye ali patsogolo, amatha zonse. Ndipo apo, ndi apa. Hooray, ali kachiwiri bwino - wokondwa, wamphamvu, wamng'ono!
Komabe, tsiku lina wina "akugogoda" mkazi wake. Ndipo ndani amene amachititsa nthawi zambiri? Mkazi. Kodi iyeyo amaganiza bwanji? "Munthu wabwino, wanzeru, kamodzi akomana nane, kotero sakonda mkazi wake. Tiyenera kutenga! "... Ndicholinga chake, chimene amachikonda! Ndizowona kuti nthawi yake ndi yovuta kwambiri, mofanana, ngati chigwiriro cha amayi ... Ngati kusakhulupirika sikungatsegule, nkhondoyo sinayambe, khulupirira ine, chirichonse mu banja lake chikanakhala bwino. Ndipo patadutsa chaka ndi theka, pazipita ziwiri, zopanda pake izi za mutu wamwamuna zikanapita. Pamene iwo akunena, iye anathamanga ndi kutonthozedwa. Inde, mkazi woganizira amatha kulingalira, kumverera kuti mwamuna wake ali ndi wina kumbali, ndizotheka kudziwa ndi zina. Koma, mwinamwake, ndibwino kuti musadziwe za izo? Mwatsoka, taphunzitsidwa kuyambira ubwana: choonadi chowawa ndi chabwino kuposa bodza lokoma. Kodi ndi choncho? Takhala tikuzoloŵera kuzinthu zonse, kuphatikizapo maubwenzi aumunthu, malingaliro, kuzunzidwa m'maganizo, kuti tiyandikire ndi miyeso yochuluka kwambiri: yakuda ndi yoyera, chabwino ndi choipa, chabwino ndi choipa. Wokhulupirika amatanthauza kuti amakonda. Wachikunja amatanthawuza wopandukira, wosokoneza. Ndipo palibe njira zina?
Kodi tingachite chiyani kwa amayi?
Mwa m'badwo uno, amuna pambuyo pa zaka makumi anayi onse ayenera kukhala okonzeka, chifukwa aliyense adzapulumuka. Theka la "ozunzidwa" sakudziwa za izo. Ndimadziwa zitsanzo pamene, atatha akazi makumi anayi atayamba kusekerera, ndipo izi zinachitika mwabwino, wina akhoza kunena, mabanja abwino. Ndipo m'mabanja omwewo, pamaso panga, "amuna", omwe mpaka pano anali olemekezeka amuna, "mwakachetechete" adayendayenda mwakachetechete. Ndipo zonsezi zinatha pomaliza. Inde, ngati "munthu wabwino" sanafotokoze kwa mkazi wake kapena mwamuna wake.
Musaganize nokha kuti ndikuvomereza chigololo ndikuti ziyenera kusiya. Ayi, kupsinjika maganizo ndi kuwonongeka kwa banja kuti musachoke. Koma izi zingatheke bwanji? Tiyeni tiganizire - kodi mwamuna angasankhe chiyani, ngati mkazi wake adziwa za zochitika zake? Kwa iye kumbuyo kwa chitseko chatsekedwa chinakonza chiwonetsero, chokhumudwitsa, ngakhale atakhala atakweza chifuwa chawo, koma sakanatha kutenga nsalu yakuda kunja. Anati: "Inde, ndili ndi mlandu, sindidzachitanso." Ndikhulupirire ine, theka la mabanja ali mumkhalidwe wofanana ndiwo. Ndipo imasiyadi. Koma amayi ambiri amachita mosiyana. Ndiyeno amamva chisoni.
Pali lingaliro lakuti mkazi atatha zaka makumi anayi, ngati akufuna kukhalabe wokongola kwa mwamuna wake, muyenera kuyang'anitsitsa chiwerengerocho, kupirira, kuvala zovala zopanda pake ndi zina zotero. Ndiye mwamuna sangayang'ane wina. Zamkhutu. Ndipotu, mkazi ayenera kumutsata nthawi zonse, chifukwa cha ulemu. Koma kuwapangitsa kukhala otentheka ndizosamveka. Nyenyezi ya kanema, Elina Bystritskaya, nayenso anasintha mwamuna wake pambuyo pa makumi anayi ndi zisanu, ndipo iye ndi mkazi wokongola. Mwamuna amangofuna zokhudzidwa zina, ndipo kenako ngakhale chovala chokongoletsera kapena zovala zosangalatsa zimamupulumutsa - amachokera ku zokongola izi kwa mkazi wophweka. Ndipo osati kuti kwa wamng'ono. Adzapita kwa wina. Ndi yani? Ndipo kaŵirikaŵiri munthu samasamala, choncho, tiyeni tizinena kuti, kwa wokhala bwino: wolandiridwa, yemwe amapereka nyumba yake kumisonkhano, zomwe sizikusowa ... Pambuyo pa zonse, mwamuna wokwatira makumi anayi sakakamizidwa kuti azivutika, kuti azigwiritsa ntchito ndalama zambiri. Kawirikawiri, akazi oterowa "ali kumbali yako", kuntchito. Ndipo, tawonani, pali ambiri a iwo lero - osungulumwa, osasokonezeka, akulakalaka chikondi cha munthu, motero amakonzekera kukhala omasuka.
Kuthamangitsa kapena kukhululukira?
Ndipo ili ndi funso: Kodi mumamuchitira bwanji mkaziyo, ngati apeza za kugulitsidwa kwa mwamuna wake? Mwamwayi, amai, monga lamulo, ayamba "kuthyola nkhuni": kunyada, kupita kuntchito mwamuna, kwa amayi, abwenzi, pitani kumvetsetsa mkazi ameneyo ... Ndipo mwa njira iyi amavumbulutsira mwamunthu wopusa, scoundrel. Ndipo gudumu linatembenuzidwa pansi! ... Mkazi wodandaula ndi wokhumudwitsidwa akuwonetsa "wopandukira" pakhomo, amutumizira kuti azikhala ndi amayi ake, amamupangitsa kuti agone pa machira, akudikira kuti am'kwadzilire pa mawondo ake kuti apepese ... Kapena iyeyo amalira tsitsi la mbuye wake. Zotsatira zake, chifukwa cha kusalingalira kwa mkazi, banja limasokonezeka. Inde, monga lamulo, nthawi zambiri ukwati sutha chifukwa cha kuperekedwa kwa mwamuna wake, koma chifukwa cha khalidwe loipa la mkazi mutatha kugulitsidwa.
Chinthu choyamba chimene mkazi ayenera kuchita muzochitika zoterozo ndikutseka pakamwa pake ku nyumbayi. Mwamuna adzathokoza kwambiri chifukwa chakuti mkazi wake amachita mwanzeru. Inde, chilungamo chidzapanda ngati "sizikuwoneka ngati zazing'ono", koma, monga momwe ndalembera, maganizo onse ali m'nyumba yanga, kumbuyo kwa chitseko chotseka. Ndipo poyambira - kutseka pakamwa panu kwa aliyense: kwa oyandikana nawo, anzanu, anzako, abwenzi anu, komanso makolo anu. Mwamuna wanga wamanyazi kale ndi mkazi wake ndi ana ake, safuna kuweruzidwa (ndi kunyozedwa) ndi kuwala koyera.
Ndi yemwe angakhale wothandizana naye odalirika, kotero ndi ... amayi apongozi anga. Inde, inde, choyamba, iye sangafune chokhumudwitsa. Adzachita manyazi pamaso pa anthu chifukwa cha khalidwe la mwamuna wokwatiwa - mwana wake. Chachiwiri, amamvera chisoni zidzukulu zake. Ndipo, chachitatu, amangomvera chisoni chifukwa cha zabwino, ntchito yake ndi ndalama zomwe adayika mu banja lino. Ndipotu, adzanena kwa mpongozi wake: "Ndizolakwa zake - mwamuna wake samayenda kuchokera kwa mkazi wabwino" (ndipo, panthawi iliyonse, adzakumbukiranso kachiwiri), koma ntchito yake yodzakwaniritsa zidzakwaniritsidwe - chibwana cha mwana wake chidzaopseza: "Er, inde, iwe Chabwino, onse mwa abambo ake! Ndikuwonetsani chikondi! .. "Ndipo Atate adzalangiza mwakachetechete kuti:" Mwananga, usakhale wopusa, usatope kusiya banja lako! Ndikhulupirire, amayi ndi osiyana, ndipo akazi ndi ofanana. "
Mkazi wamba amanyengerera mkhalidwe umodzi - kusowa kwa chidziwitso chilichonse chokhudza wotsutsana. Chifukwa chake, chachiwiri, chomwe chiri chofunika kwambiri kuti "wodwalayo" adziwe zambiri. Mwamuna sayenera kuyesedwa kunja - sakanena zoona: adzalota ndi kubisala kumapeto kwa madzi. Ndipo moyenerera: ayenera kudzikana yekha kwa omalizira ndipo asanene zambiri kuposa momwe mkazi wake amadziwira. Kapena mwamsanga mugwada ndi kulonjeza kuti sakudziwa momwe zinakhalira, kuti adanyengedwera, akuledzeredwa, akuloledwa ... Ichi, mwa njira, ndi njira yabwino kwambiri komanso yopambana yosasunthika.
Koma mkazi wake sakudziwa kanthu kalikonse koopsya: uwu ndi momwe angamenyane ndi adaniwo. Pano mukufunikira munthu wodalirika amene adzaunikira koma osaphwanya chinsinsi "kudziko lonse mobisa". Kodi ndingapeze kuti? Ndikofunika kuyang'ana pakati pa anzako a mwamuna wake ndi mkazi wovomerezeka wa msinkhu. Monga lamulo, chigololo kwa anzako si chinsinsi. Ndi mkazi yekha amene amapeza nthawi yomaliza.
Ndiyeno, potsiriza, mkaziyo anapeza chirichonse. Kodi muyenera kuchita chiyani? Ulamuliro wachitatu: Mulimonsemo, musapite kukachita nawo otsutsana! Choyamba, mukamapita kwa wina kuti afunse kapena kufunafuna chinachake, mumataya kale. Chachiwiri, mpaka mkazi wake atawona mbuye wa mwamuna wake - pakuti chirichonse chiri chovuta, semireal, osati chowawa kwambiri. Ndipo pamene awona wopikisanayo makamaka, maganizo amayamba: kaya okongola ndi aang'ono, ndipo izi ndi zokhumudwitsa - "Ndinapanga unyamata wake pa iye, ndipo iye! .."; ndipo ngati icho chiri chachikulu ndi chosakhala chokongola kwambiri, icho chimasokoneza - "kwa yemwe iye anandiyanjanitsa ine?". Nthawi zina, ndikukwiya, ndikufuna kukweza tsitsi langa. Ndipo izi ndi zana limodzi mwa magawo zana. Choncho, sikoyenera kupita kwa wokondana kuti amvetse. Ndipo kawirikawiri, izo zidzakhala ulemu waukulu kwa iye!
Mkhalidwe uwu, mkazi yemwe ali ndi chipiriro chochuluka, nzeru ndi chiwembu chachikazi adzapambana. Ngati mwamuna ali okwera mtengo, mkazi ayenera kumuuza kuti: "Mumamukonda, pitani, koma dziwani: ndimakukondani, ndipo sindingathe kukhala opanda inu, chifukwa ndiwe moyo wanga wonse." Lamulo la golidi: ngati mukufuna kukana - musiyeni. Koma mulimonsemo simungathamangitse mwamuna mwiniyo! Akazi okondeka, musapatse aliyense pano mophweka, otentha, kuipa, kupyolera mwa kupusa kwa amuna awo! Ngakhale ngati panthawi imeneyo sitingathe kupirira, musafulumire kuidula. Mvetserani mwatcheru kwa mwamuna (mwamuna, osati alendo), taganizirani ndi kumvetsa. Ndipo kumvetsa ndiko kukhululukira.
Ndipo potsiriza: ngati mumamvetsera mwachidwi wina ndi mzake, ngati simungasamalire chikondi ndi kusamalira ana, antchito, abwenzi, ziweto, zosangalatsa, mafashoni, ndale, masewera, Mulungu amadziwa china chake, ngati simukupatula pa mndandanda wa mwamuna wanu wokondedwa, ndiye nkutheka kuti chiwanda, kugogoda pamphepete, sichidzatha. Ndipo iwe uwerenge mu khalidwe linalake la mwamuna wokwatiwa pambuyo pa zaka makumi anai basi sichiyenera.