Ngakhale nthawi ya Freud, mawonetseredwe a kugonana anali pansi pa chiletso choopsa kwambiri. Ndipo ngakhale izi zinali zofunikira zachilengedwe - ngakhale mokweza kulankhula za izo zinali zotsutsidwa. Choncho, chifukwa cha kusowa kwa thanzi labwinobwino, mavuto a maganizo adayamba. Anthu adafuna kumasulidwa kwa anthu, kutseguka. Freud ndi kuyamba kusintha. Posakhalitsa nkhani ya kugonana ndi mawonetseredwe otseguka a kugonana adathetsedwa. Funso lakhazikitsidwa.
Pafupifupi chitsanzo chomwecho, ndi otsutsa omwe akugonana. Amawateteza ndi kufunafuna ubale wabwino. Ndipo zonse sizikanakhala zopanda kanthu ngati kusokonezeka kunkaonedwa kuti ndi chinthu chachilengedwe. Ndipotu, kupotoka kotereku kumatengedwa ngati matenda. Ndipotu, otsutsa onse achiwerewere ndi azimayi amawapatsa ufulu wokhala ndi thanzi labwino. Ndipo chiwerengero cha ena omwe amakhala "otere" ndi osayenerera. Ena onse anali ndi zowawa zokhazokha za ubale weniweni. Ndipo kusintha kwa maulendo pazochitika zotero ndi njira yabwino yovomerezera zolephera zawo m'moyo komanso payekha. Kodi timawachitira bwanji anthu awa? Ndipo kodi vuto lalikulu ndi chiyani?
Za vutoli
Kupandukaku kunakwaniritsidwa, koma vutoli linakhalabe lofanana. Inde, chirichonse sichili choipa monga poyamba, koma sizosangalatsa kwambiri kutseka nkhani yomwe ikukambidwa.
Popeza kuti zonsezi zanenedwa momveka bwino, anthu ambiri amaona kuti nkhaniyi ndi yosasangalatsa. Ngakhale ife omwe timatsatira mwambo wa chikhalidwe, zimakhala zovuta kufotokozera poyera kuti adziwe zomwe akufuna.
Kugonana kumaonedwa kuti ndi wochimwa, wachiwanda komanso wamanyazi. Ndipo amalingaliridwa motero chifukwa mu dziko lamakono chirichonse chimayendetsedwa ndi makhalidwe a chipembedzo. Ngati mukuganiza molakwika - kugonana ndi kofunikira kwa aliyense wa ife. Tonsefe timadziwa momwe kuwala kukuwonekera ndipo chirichonse chimawoneka mwachibadwa. Koma timachita manyazi chifukwa cha kugonana kwathu chifukwa chakuti zilakolako zathu zogonana zimatichititsa manyazi komanso zachiwerewere.
Kugonana ndi imodzi mwa njira zofunika kwambiri zodzipangira nokha, komanso nokha. Timagwiritsa ntchito kuti tipeze chikondi chotonthoza kapena mphamvu. Ndipo pamene tipeze zotsatira zoyenera ndi chithandizo cha kugonana, kumverera kwa kudzichepetsa kumapita ku dongosolo lachiwiri. Koma pokhapokha ngati njirayi ikutha kugwira ntchito, ndiye pamene mavuto athu ayamba. Maofesi omwe alipo komanso zolakwika za chikhalidwe cha chikhalidwe chonse zimagwirizanitsa ndikuti tikusintha chizindikiro chosasintha. Pali mtundu wosiyana wa fetishism, ndipo mu milandu yovuta timapita kumbali ya chikondi cha kugonana.
Podziwa kuti chikhalidwe chasintha, munthu amapeza izi ndi chifukwa chokhazika mtima pansi. Amapeza tsatanetsatane wa zolephera zake za kugonana kale. Amangopeza yankho la mafunso onse - "Ndine wosiyana."
Kugonana ndi amayi
Sukulu yakhala ikukhulupilira nthawi zonse m'malingaliro ena, kukhazikitsidwa miyezo. Ndipo pamene panali anthu omwe sankatsatira miyezo imeneyi, anthu awo ankanyoza ndi kudana nawo. Motero anapanga mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya maumboni ndi zina zotero. Anthu adayesetsa kuteteza maganizo ake.
Kotero izo zimachitika apa. Maganizo athu amavomereza kuti chikondi cha amuna kapena akazi okhaokha si chachilendo, ndi chonyansa, anthu oterowo ayenera kunyozedwa. Sukulu imanjenjemera pamene iye akuwona "zachilendo", yemwe samanyazi ndi "zopanda pake" zake, akuwonetsera izo ku dongosolo.
Kotero pali otsutsa ochepa ogonana.
Amene amalimbikitsa chikondi chogonana, amangofuna kufotokoza chithandizo ndi kukwiya. Tonsefe timadziwa kuti kulimbika mtima ndi chifundo. Ndipo otsogolera ochepa ogonana amangofuna kupereka chithandizo, pozindikira kuti anthuwa ali ndi mavuto omwe amabisa kumbuyo kwa chisokonezo chawo. Choncho, omwe satsutsana ndi amuna achiwerewere, yesetsani kuteteza anthu omwe anthu amatsutsa.
Mwa kuyankhula kwina, kuvomerezedwa kwa kugonana kwa mwamuna ndi njira yabwino yokwanira yolongosolera yekha ufulu wogonana. Kuwongolera ena kuti zolakwitsa zawo za kugonana ndi zachilendo, timapereka kuwala kofiira ku zofuna zawo zogonana. Kutsimikizira zozoloŵezi za ena, ife panthaŵi imodzimodzi timadzikhutitsa tokha izi.
Palinso ena - anthu wamba, ali ogwirizana ndi iwo eni ndipo samasamala za chikhalidwe cha wina. Eya, pali anthu achilendo, chabwino, alibe kanthu m'moyo, akungosangalala ndi zomwe akuchita - choncho. Ndipo sakufunitsitsa kuteteza kapena kukana anthu osokonezeka. Ichi ndichizolowezi chake.