Kugonana, kapena kuledzeretsa, ndi khalidwe lachiwerewere lomwe limagwiritsidwa ntchito mopambanitsa kuti lipeze zosangalatsa komanso chitonthozo cha maganizo.
Zizindikiro zimakhala zovuta
Kugonana, monga lamulo, zizindikiro zotsatirazi ndizofunikira. Izi ndizosatheka kuthetsa zilakolako za kugonana. Ichi ndi khalidwe la munthu lomwe limabweretsa mavuto, koma wodzidalira yekha amakana izi. Pokhala ndi chikhulupiliro cha kugonana mwa munthu, nthawi zambiri chilakolako cha kugonana chikuwonjezeka masiku ano. M'madera ena a moyo, munthu wodalirika amakhala wophweka mosavuta. Pokhala ndi chizolowezi chogonana kwa nthawi yayitali, zizindikiro za kutaya kwa thupi ndizotheka.
Komabe, tifunika kuzindikira kuti mtundu wa chiwerewere umadalira kokha pamene pali zinthu zina zomwe zimakhala zovuta, zowonongeka, komanso kusadziŵa zomwe zingatheke.
Kugonana kwa amuna ndi akazi
Anthu omwe amavutika ndi chiwerewere amatenga zinthu zomwezo kuchokera ku kugonana monga mankhwala osokoneza bongo. Maganizo oterewa amachititsa manyazi, mantha, nkhawa ndi mkwiyo, ndipo amadziwidwa ngati njira yothawira moyo wa tsiku ndi tsiku. Komabe, zoperewera zamakono zowonongeka zimakhala zolimba kotero kuti oledzera sangathe konse kulimbana nawo. Ndipo nthawi ndi nthawi anthu awa amazindikira kudalira kwawo ndikuyesera kuchotsa izo, koma sangathe kuzichita okha.
Ambiri omwe amagwiritsa ntchito chiwerewere ndi amuna. Amakhala ndi chilakolako chogonana pa zosowa zapamwamba zogonana. Ndipo nthawi zina chizolowezi chogonana ndi kusintha kumapita ku mitundu yachilendo ya kugonana, ndipo ikhoza kuphwanya chikhalidwe ndi chitetezo cha anthu ena. Mwachitsanzo, kumabweretsa chilakolako chogonana, chiwawa, kugonana monyanyira, ndi zina zotero.
Komabe, mwa amayi, nthawi zambiri kugonana ndi anthu ogonana kumasonyezedwa mwa kugonana mwachisawawa kapena kugonana ndi alendo. Amakhala ndi ubale wokhazikika kuti awonjezere kudzidalira kwawo, komanso kuti akwaniritse nthawi yochepa. Akaziwa amangofunika kuti apambane ndi kumvetsera amunawo, ngakhale kuti kwenikweni amabisala pansi pa chilakolako chawo chogonana kuti amvetsere zawo zopanda pake. Chowonadi n'chakuti, polowera kugonana, amayi omwe akudziimira okhaokha amadzipangitsa okha kuti athawike ndi kusungulumwa, chifukwa nthawi zambiri amalephera kuyankhulana ndi kuchitira chifundo. Icho chikukhala mtundu wa nkhwangwa yowopsya. Azimayiwa amafufuza ubwenzi wauzimu, koma samadziwa momwe angachitire. Zotsatira zake, ndikutsitsimutsa zosowa zanga zauzimu ndi kumverera kwa mphamvu, ndikukondwera kwambiri ndikugonjetsa kugonana.
Zikhulupiriro zofala kwambiri, ndi anthu oipa, odalira kugonana mwa kutsimikiziridwa kwa kusakhulupirika kwawo ndi zopanda phindu. Amuna ena molakwika amaona kuti kugonana ndizofunika kwambiri pamoyo wawo, makamaka kugwirizanitsa kugonana ndi chikondi. Nthawi zambiri, amuna omwe amamwa mowa amakhulupirira kuti palibe amene angakonde ndi kukwaniritsa zosowa popanda kugonana. Ndipo ndizo zikhulupiliro izi zomwe zimabweretsa zolakwika zomwe ndizolakwika: "Ndikhoza kukondedwa ngati atangokondedwa ndi ine."
Zikhulupiriro zofanana pakati pa akazi nazonso. Chikhulupiriro chofala kwambiri ndicho chenicheni chofooka ndi kusowa thandizo. Komanso kutsimikizika kosalekeza pa kusagwirizana kwa mkazi kusunga munthu pambali payekha, chifukwa cha kukhala yekhayekha, akulemba mawu akuti: "Sindidzasiyidwa ngati ndikuphunzira kunyengerera." Nthawi zina, potsatira maphunziro kapena zipembedzo, mayiyo amakhulupirira kuti thupi lake limanyansidwa nalo. Zikhulupiriro za chikumbumtima ichi zimayambitsa kupanga mapangidwe a anthu ogonana.
Chifukwa cha kudalira kugonana mu kumvetsetsa kwa maganizo ndi nkhawa. Kawirikawiri, kuda nkhawa kotere kumayamba kugwirizana ndi chikhalidwe cha umunthu: mwachitsanzo, zosowa za kugonana zakumverera koyambirira kwa kugonana, chifukwa chogonjetsa mkwiyo, komanso kudandaula kapena anhedonia (kukwiyitsa ndi kusakondwa).
Matenda osokoneza bongo ali ndi khalidwe losalephereka, chifukwa nkhawa ndi mantha zimachepa. Kotero, imodzi mwa ntchito zazikulu za dokotala-katswiri wa zamaganizo ndi munthu wodalira kugonana ndi ntchito yomuphunzitsa kulamulira zikhulupiliro zake zoipa, zomwe zimabweretsa chisangalalo choipa, ndikugwiranso ntchito pang'onopang'ono kuwonjezeka nkhawa ndi kuthandizidwa ndi mphamvu zamkati za thupi. Monga lamulo, kuledzera pa ulendo wokaonana ndi katswiri kumagwirizana, koma ntchito yochulukirapo ya nthawi yaitali imathandizira kuchepetsa kuchuluka kwake kwa kudalira. Munthu wodalirika ayenera, choyamba, aphunzire kulankhula ndi anthu, chifukwa luso loyankhulana limathandiza kuthetsa kusungulumwa, kulenga, ndi kupambana, ubale watsopano kapena kubwezeretsa zakale.
Anthu ambiri, pokumana ndi chizoloŵezi choyesera, yesetsani "kuthetsa" mgwirizano ndi mphamvu. Ndipo pamapeto pake, zochita, monga lamulo, ziri zofanana ndi contraaction, ndipo kuyesetsa konse kumangokhalabe pachabe. Uphungu wamaphunziro, komanso kuthandizira m'maganizo kuti athetse mavuto ngati amenewa. Ngati mutasintha kusintha moyo wanu ndikudzithandizira nokha, izi ndizofunikira kwambiri pa njira zosintha.