Nthawi zina, atapatukana ndikupeza anzanu atsopano, amatha kubwereranso. Ndipo pokwatirana ndi kuwerengera, pamapeto pake ayambe kuyesana wina ndi mzake chilakolako chachikulu chomwe chilipo lero. Chilichonse chingachitike. Ndipo nkhani iliyonse yachikondi ili ndi magawo ake enieni ndi machitidwe ake. Chimene muyenera kuchita kuti mukondweretse mnyamatayo ndi mutu wa nkhaniyi.
Kusankhidwa kwakukulu kwa 50 milliseconds
Nthawi zonse timayang'ana anyamata oyandikana nawo, kulikonse kumene ife tiri, koma konse mwa njira zosiyanasiyana. Pazinthu zachilendo, ena samasiyanitsa ndi gulu lonse, pachitatu timakhala ndi maso athu. Kwachigawo chachiwiri, koma kuchedwa, ndipo mphindi ino ndi yokwanira kupanga chisankho pa izi kapena munthu ameneyo. Kusankhidwa kwakukulu nthawi zonse, mosasamala kanthu kuti pali mnzanu panthawiyo kapena ayi. M'ndandanda wa anyamata osankhidwa panthawi imeneyi ndi omwe adagwirizana kapena osayandikira pafupi ndi machitidwe omwe ali mu chikumbutso chathu kuyambira ali mwana. Inde, ndi anthu ambiri omwe timakhala nawo, sitikudziwana bwino, ubongo umatumiza zizindikiro kuti: "Pano pali munthu woyenera." Zingakhale ... "Ngati kuyanjana kwa nthawi yayitali (kwa mphindi zingapo) n'kotheka, ndiye kuti piromoni yatsekedwa - odoriferous substances zomwe zimafalitsa zamoyo. Iwo amauza wokondedwa wanu za cholinga chanu, ngakhale mosamala komanso mosagwirizana. Simungayang'ane chilichonse, ndikuyitanitsa chinthu choyipa kapena chikondi poyang'ana poyamba.
Chiwonetsero kuchokera masiku awiri mpaka miyezi iwiri
Gawo lachiwiri silingakhalenso kwa nthawi yayitali - kuchokera pa 5 mpaka 30 olankhulana molunjika. Tikhoza kunena motsimikiza kuti timakonda munthuyo, ngakhale kuti sitikumvetsa chifukwa chake. "Ndikufuna kukhala naye nthawi zambiri, chifukwa ndi wodabwitsa kwambiri." Ndipotu, panthawi ino timaphunzira mosamala umunthu wa wokondedwa wathu, tipeze, poyamba, ngati zili ndi makhalidwe osiyanasiyana, kachiwiri, zomwe ziri zoyenera, ndipo chachitatu, ngati zikuwonetseranso chidwi. Komabe, kuchokera pakuwona biology zokhumba zathu kukhala nambala zikufotokozedwa ndi zolinga zina. Choyamba, ife tikuyang'ana kufanana kwa ife, anyamata abwino. Thupi, chithunzi chofananamo, lingaliro la munthu monga mbadwa monga maonekedwe ndilofunikira pa chiyambi cha kukopa. Izi zimatsimikiziridwa ndi kufufuza kwa asayansi. Mwachitsanzo, akatswiri ochokera ku yunivesite ya Venezuela anajambula maanja okwana 36 omwe anali osankhidwa mwachisawawa (onse omwe anali ndi chidziwitso ndi okwatirana), kenako anadula chithunzi chilichonse mu magawo awiri, osakaniza magawo awiri ndi kuitanitsa anthu ena odzipereka omwe anavomera kutenga nawo mbali kuyesa, "kuyanjananso" banja. Zinaoneka kuti nkhaniyi imapezekanso kawiri kaŵirikaŵiri ngati kuti inasuntha hafu ya zithunzi mwangozi. Chachiwiri, tikuyang'ana kusiyana kwakukulu. Timawombera: Amayi amasankha amuna omwe fungo lawo limasiyana ndi lawo komanso fungo la atate awo, koma la amuna omwe samawoneka ngati amayi awo. Kenaka, timayang'ana wokhayokhayo kuti tithane naye - ziwalo za majeremusi ofunikira kwambiri omwe amadziwika kuti ali ndi makhalidwe omwe ali ndi ife (ubongo wathu umatha kutero). Asayansi a ku Brazil atsimikizira posachedwapa kuti mgwirizano wokondwa kwambiri ndi wamuyaya umapangidwa ndi anthu omwe ali ndi kusiyana kwakukulu pakati pake. Kuphatikizapo, motero, maubwenzi a magazi, kusamalira thanzi la ana amtsogolo (kuchokera pa chikhalidwe cha chilengedwe, chikondi chimangofunika), timaganiza za chitetezo chake. Zingapereke makhalidwe ofunika kwambiri monga kupirira komanso kukondana (kwa amayi - kukoma mtima ndi kufatsa). Ngati zonsezi zipezeka mwa munthu, ndiye siteji yachitatu ikubwera, yowala kwambiri.
Chikondi chosautsa pansi pa chaka chimodzi
Gawo ili likuwoneka kuchokera kunja, chifukwa khalidwe la munthu likusintha mopanda kuzindikira. "Chizindikiro" chachikulu chimakhala chidziwitso choipa pa nkhani ya chilakolako, zomwe sitingakwanitse kuchita. Matendawa amagwirizana ndi mphamvu ya endorphin hormones, dopamine, adrenaline, noradrenaline. Ndi chifukwa cha iwo kuti timatha kuchita chilichonse ("m'dzina la chikondi"), chifukwa cha iwo mitima yathu imamenya nthawi zambiri. Kunena kuti "iye si banja kwa inu," "muyenera kuyang'ana," ndi zopanda phindu kukuitanani kuti "muganizirenso". M'malo mwake, banjali lidzakangana ndi dziko lonse lapansi, osati chifukwa chake zidzamveka. Mphamvu ya chilakolako zimadalira machitidwe a mitsempha, kuphatikizapo, mu awiri, monga lamulo, ali m'chikondi kuposa wina. Koma chiwerengero chonse cha malingaliro akadali okwanira kukhala osangalala ndikuganiza kuti chidzakhala chonchi nthawi zonse. Tanthauzo la chilengedwe cha "malungo a chikondi" ndi kupereka chiwerengero chokwanira cha kugonana pa gawo la mwamuna, kotero kuti mimba ndi yotsimikizika, ndi kukhulupirika kwa mkazi, kotero kuti wokondedwayo atsimikizire za abambo ake. Pambuyo phokoso la chilakolako, pang'onopang'ono kapena pang'onopang'ono zimachepa.
Chothandizira 1-2 zaka
Gawo ili silinayambe konse. Ambiri sangathe kudziyanjanitsa okha ndikuti chilakolako chadutsa, ndikuthetsa chiyanjano. Kodi ndi chiyani chokhala pafupi pafupi, ngati zonse zili zotetezeka komanso zowopsya tsopano? Kuonjezerapo, zimangowoneka kuti wokondedwayo ali ndi makhalidwe ambiri oipa. "Wasintha kuchokera pachidziwitso chake," "Wasintha kwambiri." Ndipotu, nthawi zonse takhala monga choncho. Chilichonse chomwe sichikukondwera tsopano, chokhumudwitsa, chikuwoneka chosagonjetsedwera, poyamba chinkaoneka bwino. Choyamba: "Amagwedeza mutu wake atatha kusamba, ngati kamwana", ndiyeno: "Dya, mutatha malinga onse, kodi mungakhale osamala kwambiri?" Malingaliro a ogwirizana nawo amawoneka ngati opanda nzeru, zifukwa zotsutsana zimasanduka mikangano ndi mikangano. Ambiri, mosamala kapena ayi, akubwerera ku gawo loyamba - kusankha koyambirira. Koma iwo omwe akadali palimodzi, kuyembekezera chodabwitsa chachikulu. Pa nthawi imene, zikuoneka, chisangalalo choyamba cha kulankhulana sichithanso (ife nthawi zambiri timagwirizana kuti tisiye kuyankha pakupanga mahomoni okondweretsa) mphamvu zatsopano zikulowa mu bizinesi. Oxytocin ndi vasopressin - mahomoni, motsogoleredwa ndi chikhulupiliro, chikondi, ndi chikondi zimayambitsidwa - zimapangidwa panthawi yamagwirizano ndi chiyanjano. Mukamachita zambiri pamodzi, ngakhale kungogonera pafupi ndi inu ndikuwerenga mabuku osiyana kapena kupukuta pfumbi, kulankhulana za tsiku lapitalo, mahomoni ambiri a attachment akupangidwa. Kugonana pamsinkhuwu kumakhala koyendetsa bwino komanso koyenera, koma kumapangitsa kuti munthu akhale ndi "chikondi chapadera." Mwa njira, akazi, hormone oxytocin amapangidwa panthawi yovuta, choncho nthawi zambiri zimakhala kuti chikondi cha amai chimangowonjezereka panthawi yambiri.
Kumverera koona kwa moyo
Gawo lotsatira likubwera m'njira zosiyanasiyana. Winawake akuchita izi panthawi imodzi: "Ife tinayima titagwira manja, ndipo ndinazindikira kuti munthu uyu ndi wamtengo wapatali kuposa ine ndipo sadzakhalanso." Winawake akusowa nthawi: "Takhala zaka 50 tisanalingalire zakumverera, koma tsopano ndikutha kunena kuti chinali chimwemwe." Nthawi ya chikondi "chamuyaya" ikhoza kukhalapo kwamuyaya, ngakhale kuti sichikuwonetseratu mwachibadwa, kuchokera pakuwona kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi yekha si chizoloŵezi, koma kuphwanya. Atabala ndi kuberekana kumayambiriro a mwanayo, sitiyeneranso kukhala pamodzi. Mwamuna akhoza kulingalira za kuwonjezeka kwa chiwerengero cha ana, ndipo mkazi amatha kubweretsa ana akuluakulu kuti akhwime mwauzimu. Mwinamwake, chifukwa gawo ili silimangopita mophweka. Kuti tipewe kumverera, tiyenera kuchita khama. Timagwiritsana ntchito kwambiri kuti mahomoni achikondi apangidwa mochepa kwambiri. Zomwe amachitira chilakolako kwa wokondedwa weniweni pafupifupi sizimawuka. Koma maganizo athu akulamuliridwa ndi serotonin, zomwe zimapereka kumverera kwa chidzalo cha moyo ndi chimwemwe chokhazikika. Kawirikawiri (zaka 4, 7 kapena mavuto ena amayamba moyo), pali mavuto mu maubwenzi. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti banja lidzaonongeka kwambiri. Atapulumuka masautso, anthu amakhala ndi zolinga zatsopano ndipo zaka zina zochepa amakhala osangalala. Mphamvu ya chikondi ndi chikondi sizidzakhala chimodzimodzi. Kaŵirikaŵiri pali kusiyana pakati pa malingaliro awiri: pamene wina ali pachimake chachikondi, winayo akuchepa. Ndiye chirichonse chimasintha. Kotero banja - chinthu chimodzi - chimatetezedwa ku kusokonezeka. Ndipo izo zimapitirira kwa zaka zambiri, zambiri.