Ubale wopanda zofunikira - o, momwe zimakhalira zosangalatsa komanso zosangalatsa! Koma tiyeni tiwone, kodi izi, mwachitsanzo, zikuyenera kwa inu? Kodi simunaganizepo za izo? Mwinamwake muyenera kuganizira?
Kugonana pa ubwenzi. Zachiwerewere. Ziribe kanthu zomwe zimatchedwa, ndikofunika kuti anthu ena azichita, ndipo nthawi zambiri amatha kupambana. Koma kodi ndi zachilendo, ngati moyo waumwini sukupita kupitirira pa kama? Ndipo osati kuchokera kumalingaliro a anthu, koma ali ndi chitonthozo chokha. Ndikovomerezeka bwanji kwa mkazi wanzeru ndi wamakono kukhala ndi ubale weniweni ndi mwamuna?
Tiyeni tiyambe ndi funso lotsiriza. Kugonana chifukwa cha kugonana kulipo m'chilengedwe, kutanthauza kuti wina amafunikira inde. Zowonjezereka, ndizofunika kwambiri kwa anthu osiyanasiyana m'maganizo osiyanasiyana. Kuchokera kwa iye, akazi amakonda akazi, amaganizira ntchito ndi ntchito, omwe sakhala ndi nthawi yopita ku mafilimu ndi madzulo a Lamlungu ndi amayi ake (ndiko, ubale). Musaganizire, ndipo iwo omwe amakhulupirira kuti kugonana ndi chinthu chokha chomwe chiri chabwino mwa munthu wina. Atsikana omwe amakhulupirira kuti asanakumane ndi munthu wamaloto, chikhalidwe cha mahomoni sichichimo chothandizira munthu amene sali ndi maganizo ochepa, komanso mwa iwo eni. Ndipo mochulukira kwambiri mukhoza kumvetsetsa amayi omwe amakhulupirira kuti "ubale wanu wapamtima suli kwa ine." Amayi onsewa amapindula ndi abwenzi chifukwa cha chibwenzi (nthawi zina chiwerewere, koma osati lero). Ubale wokha wa kugonana - chinthu chodabwitsa kwambiri. Zosowa za kugonana siziri zochepa kwa wina aliyense, ndipo kukhazikitsidwa kwawo ndi nkhani yachibadwa. Mu moyo wa mkazi, pangakhale nthawi pamene iye sali pachibwenzi chokhazikika, ndipo ichi si chifukwa chosiya zilakolako zomwe zimagwirizanitsidwa ndi malo apamtima.
Kupuma kwa kugonana
Mu nkhani za anthu ochita zogonana popanda zofunikira, chirichonse chimakhala chokongola kwambiri. Kawirikawiri, akazi pokambirana ndi abwenzi amavomereza kuti izi ndizo zomwe akusowa.
"Taganizirani za munthu yemwe mumamukonda ngati mwamuna yemwe ali ndi maudindo onse omwe akutsatira?" Mtsikana woteroyo anati: "Ayi, ndizosasangalatsa," ndikuyang'ana mnyamatayo ndikumvetsera ndekha - ndikufuna chiyani kuchokera kwa iye? "Ngati zili zokhuza kugonana ndipo ngati mwamunayo sakuganizira, timachita naye Ichi ndi ichi, ndipo palibe mavuto! "
Ngati mtsikana ali ndi lingaliro lomveka la zomwe akufuna mu chiyanjano ndi munthu wina, ndipo mkhalidwewo umamupatsa kukhutira, ndiye palibe chokambirana. Chifukwa choganizirira chikhoza kuonekera pamene maubwenzi apamtima opanda zofunikira zili ndizowonjezereka ndi zinthu zina zomwe zimaphwanya chikhalidwe chawo. Mwachitsanzo, ngati maubwenzi oterewa aonekera mu moyo wanu mutatha kusudzulana kapena kupatukana, ngati kuti mukuwerenganso zaka zonse zomwe munagwiritsidwa ntchito mu ntchito yapakhomo ndi nkhondo zapakhomo. Mwinamwake kanthawi pang'ono mutatha kusamba ndikuyamba kusambira momasuka, koma ngati ndege ikuchedwa, ganizirani zomwe mukuchita. Musabwezere choyambirira pa zonyansa ndi zovuta ndipo ndi nthawi yoyamba moyo watsopano, wosagwirizana ndi zakale? Kapena sikumangogonana - iyi ndiyo njira yokhayo yomwe mumadziwira momwe mungagwirire ndi amuna, koma mukudziwa za mbali zina zonse za moyo kuchokera m'nkhani za anzanu? Kapena mwinamwake kugonana kotereku sikukukhudzana ndi inu mosangalala kwambiri, monga momwe mukuganizira? Mwachitsanzo, "Amayi amakono amachita zomwezo" kapena "Kodi ndine woipa kuposa anthu? Ndikufunanso kugonana basi". Izi ndi zina zowonjezera zina za chisankho chosankhidwa ndizinena kuti chirichonse sichiri chofewa komanso chachilengedwe ndipo ndibwino kuyang'anitsitsa zomwe mukuchita, kugonana nthawi zina.
Momwe izo zakhalira
Ziribe kanthu momwe nkhani zogonana zimayang'anirana bwino, pali zovuta, komanso zovuta. Kuti mupindule kwambiri ndi izi, sikokwanira kupeza munthu woyenera, muyenera kutsatira malamulo atatu.
- Khulupirirani wina ndi mzake (kuti musapereke chikalata kuchokera kwa abwenzi anu kwa nthawi zonse).
- Musati mudikire mochuluka (ndipo musamalire mtsogolo, pamene sakukumverani kanthu kalikonse koma kukhumba, munthu sangatchule tsiku lanu lobadwa).
- Kuyankhula za chirichonse mwachindunji (ndiko, kuiwala za zomwe mwakhala mukuchita mwachizolowezi "chabwino, ine ndikuganiza za" ndi "chabwino, ine ndiyesera kutuluka molawirira").
1. Kodi mumamva kuti ndinu wolakwa kapena wamanyazi?
Kwa zifukwa zachipembedzo kapena chikhalidwe, kapena chikhalidwe, akazi ena amamva chifukwa ali ndi zosangalatsa zoterezi. Simusowa kudzikuza nokha ndi kulemba malemba. Koma ngati mumadzikhulupirira nokha kuti izi zangochitika ndi akazi okhaokha, simungapeze zomwe mumafuna pogonana popanda kudzipereka.
2. Kodi mumamwa mowa kuti mumasulidwe? Ngati mwakonzeka kugonana ndi abwenzi, mukangowonongeka basi-wina ndi china chilichonse, mwinamwake, zonsezi sizikuwoneka ngati zowvomerezeka pamene mukudziyesa nokha.
Z. Kodi mumanama?
Kodi mukufunikiradi kugonana kokha? Nenani mokweza zomwe mukufuna, koma khalani oona mtima payekha. Kulowa mwa amuna mwanzeru kumathandiza "kugonana kuti mukhale paubwenzi" pokhapokha ngati mtsikanayo amavomereza. Mwachidziwitso - kumatanthauza ndi kumvetsetsa momveka bwino kuti kwa inu zonsezi ndizongoganizira ngati iye. Onse awiri inu ndi iye muyenera kumvetsetsa momwe chiyanjano chanu chilili.
4. Kodi muli ndi miyambo yokhudzana ndi kugonana?
Ngati mumachita zachiwerewere kumalo ena okha (monga mwachoncho, munthu yekhayo panyumba, koma osati kunyumba, kwenikweni kuvala tsiku lisanafike kapena wokonzeka kukumana kokha mumzinda umene simukudziwana nawo) ndizisonyezero kuti mumachita si zachilendo kwaokha. Mwachionekere mukusowa chivundikiro, maski, kuti muzindikire zolinga zanu.
5. Kodi mumakonda? Kodi mukusangalala?
Pambuyo pake, ichi ndi chinthu chofunikira kwambiri: kodi mumakondwera nazo zonsezi? Kapena mumadziuza nokha kuti kulibe kanthu? Tanthauzo la kugonana ndilokusangalala nazo. Mukangomva kuti mukugona ndi mwamuna, chifukwa mukuwoneka kuti mwagwirizana, mumpsompsone mphotho ndikuchoka kwamuyaya.
"Ndimakukondani"
Ngakhale zabwino kwambiri, popanda chololedwa, mausiku ogwirizana angathe kutha ndi banal, chikondi. Msonkhano wa Amagulu Ogonana ku Canada umagawana chiwerengero: Amayi asanu ndi awiri (56%) omwe adafunsidwa adawona kuti akhoza kukhala ndi chiyanjano cholimba kwambiri ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi popanda ntchito. Izi ndizomveka: ubale ndi gawo lapamtima la moyo, ngakhale simukuwerengera kupitiriza kwawo. Nanga ndi chiyani chomwe mungachite kuti musapange chisankho cholakwika? Sungani nthawi, yesani mkhalidwewo. Ndipo khalani oona mtima osati kwa inu nokha, komanso kwa mwamuna: ngati mukufuna chinachake kuposa kugonana, nenani. Kodi iye akutsutsa izo? Siyani misonkhano yanu. Apo ayi, zonse zomwe zikukuyembekezerani ndizowawa kwambiri.