Lero timakumana ndi anthu omwe adakondana kangapo, komanso omwe sankakonda konse. Kodi munganene chiyani za anthu oterowo? Kodi zikhalidwe izi ndi chikhalidwe kapena chikhumbo cha munthu? Kodi pali chivomerezo chokonda aliyense wa ife? Chowonadi ndi chakuti lamulo lina lachikondi limanena kuti tonse tikhoza kukonda ndipo nthawi zonse tikufunafuna bwenzi lathu.
Maganizo a anthu akutsogolera kuti chikondi ndi mphatso, mwayi, mwayi mwayi. Pambuyo pake, palibe masukulu kapena masukulu achikondi, koma aliyense amawoneka kuti ali wachikondi. Izo siziri choncho. Chikondi ndi luso, luso lomwe liyenera kuphunzitsidwa, lomwe liyenera kuchitika. Simungathe kukamba za chikondi monga chinthu kapena chinthu china, chifukwa kumverera ndi njira. Ndipo zotsatira zake zimakhala zotani, zimadalira ophunzira ake. Sikuti aliyense angathe kukonda, koma aliyense amafuna ndikuyesera kukonda. M'bukuli muli zambiri kuposa momwe tingaganizire. Chikondi ndikumva munthu winayo, kumusangalatsa, kukhala gawo lake, kugawana naye moyo wake. Sizophweka ngati zikuwoneka, ngakhale kumverera kwa chikondi kungathe kusocheretsa, kumverera "chikondi" - ndizojambula kale.
Erich Fromm analemba za chikondi monga luso mu ntchito yake "Art of Love." Komanso pa mutu uwu muli mabuku ambiri ndi ntchito. Kuwonjezera pa ntchito za sayansi ndi zochitika za akatswiri a maganizo, tingathe kuzindikira chidwi cha chikondi cha anthu osiyanasiyana a m'zaka zambiri ndikuwongolera mafomu ndi zolinga za chikondi chawo. Mwachitsanzo, yerekezerani chikondi cha "Chigiriki chakale" ndi "chikondi" chachikristu ". Izi ndi nthawi zosiyana, makhalidwe osiyana kwambiri ndi chikondi. Choyamba ndi chikondi kwa munthu wapamwamba yemwe ali ndi udindo, chikondi kwa mwamuna wokongola, yemwe ali wokongola kwambiri, wanzeru kuposa iwe. Kukopa kwa munthu ndiko kuchepa kwa munthu yemwe ali bwino kuposa iye, yemwe amayenera kukondedwa. Chikondi choterechi ndizochitika za masochism. Chikondi choterocho chinayimbidwa m'nthano ndi mabuku a ku Girisi wakale, koma chidalipo lero, monga mtundu wina, katundu, gulu lapadera. Mtundu wachikondi wachikristu ndiko kukonda mnzako, kukonda munthu yemwe ali wocheperapo, wofooka kwambiri, ndi wachifundo kwa ofooka, odwala. Mtundu wachiwiri wa chikondi - chikondi sichili kwa aliyense, chifukwa cha ichi muyenera kukhala ndi mzimu wolimba ndi wokonzeka kukondana. Lero tikhoza kuphunzira mitundu iwiriyi ndikudzifunsa tokha: ndi ziti mwazigawozi zomwe zidzakhala "zolondola"? Kodi uku ndikulumikizana kwa chikondi, tsatanetsatane ndi chizindikiro cha njirayi, ndipo sichiri chikhalidwe cha mitundu yosiyanasiyana yomwe imatiphunzitsa luso?
Chikondi ndi "maonekedwe ake"
Nthawi zambiri timakonda kunena kuti chikondi ndi kugwera m'chikondi ndi zinthu zosiyana. Zili chonchodi. Chikondi chingakhale ngati chiyambi cha chikondi, siteji yake yoyamba, yomwe imakula ndikukhala chikondi chenicheni, ndi siteji? zomwe ziribe kupitiriza. Koma pambali pazitsutso za chikondi ndi chikondi, ziyenera kudziwika kuti sikuti kuyesera konse kukonda kumathera bwino, ndipo sikuti nthawi zonse zomwe timavomereza chifukwa cha chikondi ndizo.
Olemba maganizo osiyanasiyana padziko lonse, olemba ndakatulo ndi oimba, ndipo ngakhale munthu aliyense nthawi imodzi amaganiza za chikondi chenicheni, ndi katundu wotani, momwe angazindikire komanso chomwe chiri chizindikiro chake. Chododometsa chonse ndi chakuti lero akatswiri a zamaganizo akhoza kunena chimodzimodzi chomwe si chikondi, ndipo ife timachimva. Pali mitundu yambiri ya chikondi, kufanana kwake, ndipo nthawi zambiri tikhoza kunena kuti ichi si mtundu weniweni wa chikondi, munthu pano akulakwitsa. Koma panthawi imodzimodziyo, sitingathe kunena molondola kuti: chikondi ndi chiyani, perekani tanthawuzo. Koma ife, koma tikudziwa "momwe tingachitire ndizosatheka" ndipo izi ndi zabwino kale.
Timadziwa kuti mwachikondi palibe malo odzikonda. Zonse zadyera komanso chikondi zingathe kuwonedwa kuchokera kumalingaliro ena a egoism, monga kupeza zomwe mukufuna, kukwaniritsa zosowa zanu ... Koma ngakhale kuphunzira kukukondani muyenera kuphunzira momwe mungakhalire osaganizira. Muyenera kugawana ndi munthu wina, kuika zofunikira zake kuposa zawo, nthawi zina kupita kwa wozunzidwa, kuthandizira ndikumvetsa wokondedwa, kuganizira za chimwemwe chake ndi zosowa zake. Ndipo izi ziyenera kukhala zosangalatsa. Ndipotu, si zophweka kuti tiphunzire, sizimangobwera ngati izi: pamene mukuyenera kukhala chete mukumenyana, koma mukufuna kulankhula mwachinyengo kapena kutaya maganizo olakwika. Ndikofunika kupeza zolakwitsa, ganizirani malingaliro a wina ndi mzake m'magazini iliyonse. Ngati anthu onse akuganiza okha okha ndikukhutiritsa zosowa zawo, popanda kuganizira za ena, ndiye kuti zikufanana ndi symbiosis, chitsimikizo kuposa chikondi.
Mwachikondi palibe malo odzikonda, nkhanza, chiwawa, kuzunzika.
M'chikondi pamayenera kukhala malo opirira ndi kuleza mtima. Awiriwo omwe amatha kusintha, kenako amasiyana, sagwirizana kwenikweni. Ichi ndi njira yothetsera, kusiyana ndi chikondi. Mwachikondi, khalidwe lililonse la wokondedwa limakhutiritsa - ngakhale zolephera siziwoneka zoopsa kwambiri, kotero mukhoza kugwirizanitsa nawo. Ndipo zinthu zabwino zimayamikiridwa makamaka, zimaganiziridwa. Mwachikondi, theka lachiwiri ndi lodzitukumula, lolemekezeka, ndikumverera wina ndi mzake gawo lonse.
Chikondi mu mawonekedwe ake enieni sichikanakhoza kuganiziridwa. Chikondi chenicheni ndi chofala, chowonadi, chogwirizana. Sipereka kuvutika, chakudya, chithandizo, mphamvu. Chikondi chenicheni ndi chikondi chachiwiri pakati pa anthu awiri. Chikondi chimodzi chokha ndi chilakolako, chokopa, chikondi, chilakolako kuposa kumva kwenikweni. Mtundu uwu wa "chikondi" sumabweretsa chisangalalo kapena bata. Koma izi ndizo zokhuza kwambiri zomwe zingatheke. Chikondi chosaganiziridwa nthawi zambiri chimatikakamiza kuchita ntchito zamatsenga, chimatikakamiza kulemba ndakatulo ndi ballads. Koma komabe iye alibe mphamvu ngati chikondi chenicheni. Wachiwiri ali ndi mphamvu zambiri kwa ife.
Momwe mungaphunzire kukonda
Ndipo komabe: kodi mungaphunzire kukonda? Chikondi chimakhala chovuta, chosadziwika, chosamvetseka komanso malo ovuta. Kodi mungaphunzire kumverera munthu wina, kumvetsa? Inde. Ndi chikhumbo, nthawi, ntchito ndi chidziwitso, mphamvu yakugonjetsa nokha kudzikonda komanso kumvetsetsa mmene akumvera. Tiyenera kukhala tcheru, kuyesa wokondedwa, phunzirani khalidwe lake ndikuphunzira kumvetsa osati zochita zawo zokha, komanso za ena. Aliyense wa ife ali ndi mwayi wabwino kwambiri wophunzira izi.